John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Woman on Chicago train doused with unknown liquid – as opposed to the usual bodily fluids you normally encounter on the Red Line [Scary]

Friday 19 January 23:50:05 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » God bless the children. Who react first to their hearts [Hero]

Friday 19 January 23:20:05 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I was like, 'Ugh, here we go.' And we started kissing" (full interview) [Awkward]

Friday 19 January 23:09:43 UTC 2018

Awkward [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's Canadian News is brought to you by a grizzly bear in a truck eating ice cream at a Dairy Queen drive thru [Amusing]

Friday 19 January 22:35:03 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't follow a cop's every instruction at a traffic stop? That's, at a minimum, a collar for "resisting arrest." Follow a cop's instructions perfectly and immediately? Yeah, you're "over-obeying" and therefore clea

Friday 19 January 22:20:05 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas Judge tells jury to return a not guilty verdict against woman accused of trafficking a teen girl for sex. Was his reason because A) the prosecutor improperly withheld evidence, B)The evidence against her was legally deficient, or C) God told hi

Friday 19 January 22:08:58 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not really news: Car crashes into road sign and drives off without stopping. Fark: During the opening ceremony of the road's redevelopment [Amusing]

Friday 19 January 21:50:04 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's national popcorn day. Here's how to end national popcorn-between-the-teeth day [PSA]

Friday 19 January 21:20:05 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you want your child to earn a lot of money, name them this [Interesting]

Friday 19 January 21:05:03 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man admiring his Vermeer [Photoshop]

Friday 19 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Geez, they'll fire you for any little infraction these days [Scary]

Friday 19 January 20:35:03 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia to dismantle its most powerful submarines. Would make for an interesting group buy [Spiffy]

Friday 19 January 20:20:05 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ocean's 14: Macau [Interesting]

Friday 19 January 19:50:05 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Consumer Reports taste tests store bought frozen pizzas and concludes that, for the tenth year running, the winner is: The boxes they all came in [Obvious]

Friday 19 January 19:35:03 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [211 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Speeding with 245 bags of heroin and a lot of cash makes it easy to bust you, Mr. clean-cut all-American drug runner [Dumbass]

Friday 19 January 19:20:05 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turkey, a NATO ally, starts bombing U.S. backed Kurds in Syria. This will surely end well [News]

Friday 19 January 19:05:03 UTC 2018

News [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm not sure that AP guidelines cover having ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ in an actual headline, CNN, much less in coverage of a government shutdown [Fail]

Friday 19 January 18:50:05 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [138 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » N.S. Sherlock Institute shows that cuts in school funding has led to the Tide Pod-eating generation [Obvious]

Friday 19 January 18:35:03 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cops falls off horse, says 'Oh, sh*t,' looks up to see the Pope helping him back to his feet. Oh, sh*t [Video]

Friday 19 January 18:20:06 UTC 2018

Video [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » SHAKING NEWS 6.3-magnitude earthquake strikes in Gulf of California. Scary tag trumps California tag [Scary]

Friday 19 January 18:09:28 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thieves in Rhode Island stole an $80,000 camera used to catch speeding drivers. Which is too bad because it would have paid for itself on the first day [Fail]

Friday 19 January 18:05:04 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After an 84% spike in "issues," flying with comfort turkeys, gliding possums, snakes, spiders and other animals will require a bit more documentation than "I needs him" [Spiffy]

Friday 19 January 17:50:04 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Deer carcasses used to lure, shoot eagles in Klickitat County. You'd think an eagle would be smart enough to avoid Klickitat bait [Fail]

Friday 19 January 17:35:03 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sad update to Otto's Jacket's thread from November 17, 2017 when he had just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He passed away a week later [Scary]

Friday 19 January 16:49:54 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [149 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Angry Brits mistake Chicago news anchor for racist British member of Parliament: "What I've learned is that Brits are far more creative and colorful with their insults. And no, that's not a challenge" [Amusing]

Friday 19 January 15:35:03 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Principal: Kids, don't be bullies. Also Principal: LOL let's make fun of this short teacher, everyone [Fail]

Friday 19 January 15:20:06 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » ROCK-A-BILLY GAL

Friday 19 January 15:12:06 UTC 2018

His Wikipedia page. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Milwaukee hotels don't want local bratty kids in their buildings. However, kids from elsewhere are welcome [Weird]

Friday 19 January 14:50:05 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Stars ‘n Stripes Girdle

Friday 19 January 14:48:00 UTC 2018

Introduced in 1965 by the Treo Company, and promptly withdrawn from the market on account of complaints by the Daughters of the American Revolution.

In a letter to the Treo Company, Inc., a ranking DAR official called the girdle… a "shocking caricature" of the American flag.
"Patriotism should be encouraged by proper respect to the Stars and Stripes, the symbol … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Arctic is the fastest-warming place on Earth [Ironic]

Friday 19 January 14:20:05 UTC 2018

Ironic [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Hi there, I'll be your spastic excursion … *hic* … elastic surgeon … *hic* … plastic sturgeon … *hic* … face cutter today" [Scary]

Friday 19 January 14:05:04 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this fashionable snek [Photoshop]

Friday 19 January 14:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That's not a baguette [Creepy]

Friday 19 January 13:58:59 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UK appoints Minister of Loneliness, which raises the question: what's their Fark handle? [Sad]

Friday 19 January 13:45:02 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yellowstone is two million acres of natural resources gone to waste and other views from the oppressed ranchers of Oregon [Murica]

Friday 19 January 13:35:04 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [216 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A movement to end controversial one-on-one interviews between LDS bishops and children is growing in Utah" [Creepy]

Friday 19 January 12:50:05 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Day Zero' is the date when the Cape Town, South Africa reservoirs run dry and it officially runs out of water. As of today, Day Zero is expected to occur on April 22nd [Scary]

Friday 19 January 12:31:14 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Swedish government sends its citizens a public information manual on preparations for war with Russia, cyber attacks, global warming, da chickey chickey [Scary]

Friday 19 January 12:13:14 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [31 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Heinous Crimes in Skyrim

Friday 19 January 11:53:20 UTC 2018

chickens video games Skyrim - 7174911488 Graph by: Neonbrigade Tagged: chickens , video games , Skyrim Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Maybe It's Just Your Imagination

Friday 19 January 11:53:16 UTC 2018

bad hair day venn diagrams - 6530456064 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bad hair day , venn diagrams Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Baggage We Carry

Friday 19 January 11:53:13 UTC 2018

bags totes pretentious - 7782883584 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: bags , totes , pretentious Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Diet of a Seagull

Friday 19 January 11:53:08 UTC 2018

animals beach birds bugs crabs diet fish food french fries fruit sand seeds - 2019370240 Graph by: Adfirmus Tagged: animals , beach , birds , bugs , crabs , diet , fish , food , french fries , fruit , sand , seeds Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Structural Analysis of Hummed Batman-Theme

Friday 19 January 11:53:00 UTC 2018

batman humming lyrics movies Theme Song TV - 2406338304 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: batman , humming , lyrics , movies , Theme Song , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » So Many Countless Hours Spent Playing Final Fantasy

Friday 19 January 11:52:48 UTC 2018

best of week final fantasy FPS Line Graph RPG video games - 5801559552 Graph by: (via Loldwell) Tagged: best of week , final fantasy , FPS , Line Graph , RPG , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » For When Things Can't Get Any Worse

Friday 19 January 11:52:47 UTC 2018

computer ctrl alt del screwed up venn diagram - 6237264384 Graph by: S.P.A-Bits (via Bite) Tagged: computer , ctrl alt del , screwed up , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Eat ALL the Vegetables!

Friday 19 January 11:52:42 UTC 2018

calories food stomach - 5308024320 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: calories , food , stomach Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Teaching Kids Important Life Lessons Since 1998

Friday 19 January 11:52:39 UTC 2018

Animal Abuse gambling kids Pokémon venn diagram - 5677397248 Graph by: keivant12 Tagged: Animal Abuse , gambling , kids , Pokémon , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » "Our" Bed

Friday 19 January 11:52:36 UTC 2018

beds best of week Memes our relationship side - 6432004352 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: beds , best of week , Memes , our , relationship , side Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Protester vs. Protester

Friday 19 January 11:52:35 UTC 2018

Cheezburger Image 5436797696 Graph by: (via Accelerated-Degree.com) Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Fez Diagram

Friday 19 January 11:52:33 UTC 2018

FEZ graphs funny tassel - 7455738368 Graph by: Hypotherm Tagged: FEZ , graphs , funny , tassel Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FBI arrest man for trying to extort $1 million from a "squeaky clean" entertainer by falsely claiming a sexual assault during a nude massage. A tale straight from a film noir to the left, speculation as to the last clean celebrity to the righ

Friday 19 January 11:30:17 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How much do you love sushi? (Read article) Okay, NOW how much do you love sushi? [Creepy]

Friday 19 January 10:46:16 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know your children are not a delicate morons. So why does their school insist on treating them like one when it comes to playground rules? [Asinine]

Friday 19 January 9:11:16 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And you thought the Millennials were the worst part of Coachella [Sad]

Friday 19 January 8:33:05 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teenager almost killed by ham and cheese. Fortunately it was cured [Scary]

Friday 19 January 7:57:47 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Captain Jack Sparrow volunteers to inspect cargo ship [Obvious]

Friday 19 January 7:17:56 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ambulances are in such high demand and low supply in Phoenix that 9-1-1 operators are calling on taxis to take people to hospitals [Sick]

Friday 19 January 6:35:53 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Helping Fin

Friday 19 January 6:15:30 UTC 2018

In January 2009, marine ecologists Robert Pitman and John Durban were watching a group of Antarctic killer whales wash a seal off an ice floe when, surprisingly, a pair of humpback whales intervened: Exposed to lethal attack in the open water, the seal swam frantically toward the humpbacks, seeming to seek shelter, perhaps not even aware that they were living … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alabama student "feels horrible" about being expelled over her racist social media rants. Stay classy, Alabama [Dumbass]

Friday 19 January 5:11:46 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [226 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida Man arrested for DUI after mistaking bank drive-thru for Taco Bell. No word if he tried to order with a two dollar bill [Florida]

Friday 19 January 4:27:38 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Get crossfaded responsibly [Cool]

Friday 19 January 4:15:52 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » [business cat looks up from newspaper:] "We should have another mortgage crisis" [Stupid]

Friday 19 January 4:06:30 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man allegedly punches himself in the face to avoid breathalyzer [News]

Friday 19 January 3:56:38 UTC 2018

News [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 5th grader passes out incredible edibles to classmates that were just too incredible. "I felt like the room was going to flip to the side" [Scary]

Friday 19 January 3:07:50 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The first article you'll read today on the "glandular method of governance" [Facepalm]

Friday 19 January 2:55:03 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study reveals that L.A. needs more Hollywood sign [Silly]

Friday 19 January 1:08:02 UTC 2018

Silly [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this magical place [Photoshop]

Friday 19 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pentagon confirms the existence of a Russian underwater drone that carries a 100-megaton nuclear weapon to wipe out enemy coastlines and leave them uninhabitable for generations [Scary]

Friday 19 January 0:54:31 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [226 comments] [Link]

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