John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Apparently, sightings of flying dinosaurs are on the rise in NC, even though recreational marijuana use is still illegal. (with pic of what a flying dinosaur over NC might look like) [Strange]

Tuesday 16 January 23:53:42 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Richard the pony is finally getting a new richard [Strange]

Tuesday 16 January 23:31:53 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baking relative supports family with rare form of diabetes. Boiling a relative considered not as effective [Interesting]

Tuesday 16 January 23:10:04 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » People in Billerica are upset at the word "douchebag" despite living in a state full of them [Amusing]

Tuesday 16 January 22:50:04 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your body is throttled and contorts at such breakneck speed when you sneeze, it's kind of like having an orgasm while being in a car accident at the same time [Strange]

Tuesday 16 January 22:35:03 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California declares independence from California [Interesting]

Tuesday 16 January 22:35:02 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [258 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As of 2018, Greedo has shot first longer than Han shot first [Stupid]

Tuesday 16 January 22:20:05 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Porn star says she did have year of sex with Trump although collectively only about ten minutes [PSA]

Tuesday 16 January 22:04:48 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [192 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man calls 911 to report armed gunmen, but when police find him bloody and dead woman wrapped in plastic, they decide his claim was cheap and easy to see through [Strange]

Tuesday 16 January 21:35:02 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It takes a certain set of nads to steal a hundred pot plants from the police at a guarded crime scene [Amusing]

Tuesday 16 January 21:20:43 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Controversial cannabis sex party is the name of my Cypress Hill tribute band [Giggity]

Tuesday 16 January 21:20:39 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, Johnny, how was school today? OK, I guess. Tommy farted in homeroom, and we had pizza for lunch, then the cops came in and shot up the armed robber, so can you come an pick me up early? [Weird]

Tuesday 16 January 21:05:03 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this free image.. don't screw it up [Photoshop]

Tuesday 16 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bonnie and Wide the Walmart bandits turn themselves in, and are 'deeply sorry' [Followup]

Tuesday 16 January 20:50:04 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman complains to social media when restaurant enforces ban on outside food [Facepalm]

Tuesday 16 January 20:35:03 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why did Disney chuck the Star Wars Expanded Universe into the trash bin? The bastards killed Chewie [Interesting]

Tuesday 16 January 20:20:06 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [245 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: An update to the Google hullabaloo [FarkBlog]

Tuesday 16 January 20:09:03 UTC 2018

FarkBlog [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption this photographer and his friend [Caption]

Tuesday 16 January 20:00:01 UTC 2018

Caption [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Nobody expects to find a Rembrandt sitting under the ping-pong table in the basement." Of course, Rembrandt's chief weapon is surprise [Interesting]

Tuesday 16 January 19:35:03 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Mementos

Tuesday 16 January 19:29:59 UTC 2018

Image: Mare Milin / Museum of Broken Relationships When Croatian artists Olinka Vištica and Dražen Grubišic ended their four-year relationship in 2003, they joked about creating a museum to house all their leftover personal items. “We were thinking of how to preserve the beautiful moments we had together and not destroy everything,” Vištica said. Three years later, Grubišic suggested that they … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » North Korean expert suggests we bomb Kim Jong-un's toilet. Others warn this may launch a new arms race we could lose, considering the relative effectiveness of weapons grade Taco Bell versus Kimchi [Strange]

Tuesday 16 January 19:20:04 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Llama fetuses, owl feathers and dried frogs: Inside the witches' market in Bolivia [Strange]

Tuesday 16 January 18:50:04 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I-80 in central Pennsyltucky is all Road Warrior and shut down and stuff. Watch out for the other guy out there [Obvious]

Tuesday 16 January 18:20:05 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nope vs. Nope [Florida]

Tuesday 16 January 17:50:04 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today in "What Could Go Wrong?" Someone creates a "legally-binding" sexual consent app [Unlikely]

Tuesday 16 January 17:35:02 UTC 2018

Unlikely [link] [174 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump did that umbrella thing again [Facepalm]

Tuesday 16 January 17:20:05 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Religious man visiting Jerusalem suffers delusions and is now wandering the desert, a thing so common it has a name: Jerusalem Syndrome [Weird]

Tuesday 16 January 17:05:03 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I submitted this earlier, but clicked the wrong link [Asinine]

Tuesday 16 January 16:50:04 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Isn't this how WW1 started? [Interesting]

Tuesday 16 January 16:35:03 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bunny Ranch brothel hoping to accept bitcoin payments for sexual services. Come one, come all [Interesting]

Tuesday 16 January 16:05:03 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're tired of your dog shedding all over the house or just want to shame the poor creature for existing: Dog leotards [Strange]

Tuesday 16 January 15:50:04 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old man with cane goes full waffle house on cops in a Dairy Queen [Sad]

Tuesday 16 January 15:35:03 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rookie police officer saves toddler's life on his first day on the job [Hero]

Tuesday 16 January 15:20:05 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Crappy Denver to Hawaii flight forced to turn around in middle of the Pacific because the toilets were all full [Sick]

Tuesday 16 January 15:05:03 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New strap-on modules expected to bring Littoral Combat Ship to peak performance, and will bring it to the climax of its abilities. Critics still think it will get reamed [Followup]

Tuesday 16 January 14:50:04 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Media: "What is it that they've sent us regarding the Russian probe?" House Committee: "Hope" [Obvious]

Tuesday 16 January 14:35:03 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some airline passengers will go to great lengths to avoid excess baggage fees, but wearing ALL of your clothes will get you barred from most flights [Dumbass]

Tuesday 16 January 14:05:03 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Family Tree [Photoshop]

Tuesday 16 January 14:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "10 workers dead after bridge unexpectedly collapses." So bridges are expected to collapse now? [Sad]

Tuesday 16 January 13:56:34 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [40 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Fragrance-coded card catalog

Tuesday 16 January 13:46:46 UTC 2018

In 1974, the public library in Upper Arlington, Ohio added scratch-and-sniff scents to its card catalog. They called it the "Stick Your Nose in the Card Catalogue" program.

The idea was that the card in the catalog would have a scent, and then the book on the shelf would have a matching scent. So you could find your books by … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Poison, poison…tasty fish [Fail]

Tuesday 16 January 13:38:34 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There it is. The stupidest headline you will read all day [Stupid]

Tuesday 16 January 13:35:03 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [171 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japan does its best Hawaiian impression, issues ballistic missile alert [Strange]

Tuesday 16 January 13:15:34 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What Would Jesus Do? Stab a neighbour then punch him in the face, apparently [Stupid]

Tuesday 16 January 12:45:34 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woodward killed Bernstein because he was getting too close to deep throat [Scary]

Tuesday 16 January 11:52:59 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thanks to on-board GPS and other car-based monitoring systems, your car company probably knows more about you than your spouse. And no, they're not interested in a three-way with that hot bartender, either [Scary]

Tuesday 16 January 10:53:32 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The Candy Tangerine Man

Tuesday 16 January 10:42:00 UTC 2018

[Link]

GraphJam » Level of Dedication Vs Kind of Boyfriend

Tuesday 16 January 10:28:00 UTC 2018

attractive boyfriend dating devotion nerds relationships - 2462880000 Graph by: Jordrake Tagged: attractive , boyfriend , dating , devotion , nerds , relationships Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Remote Quality Control

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:56 UTC 2018

channels Line Graph log scale quality control remote superpun television - 4269711872 Graph by: Brown Tagged: channels , Line Graph , log scale , quality control , remote , superpun , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » "F.U.N." Alone Is Better Than All Their Crappy Songs Combined!

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:55 UTC 2018

crappy f-u-n nickelodeon Pie Chart singers SpongeBob SquarePants - 5624579840 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: crappy , f-u-n , nickelodeon , Pie Chart , singers , SpongeBob SquarePants Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Beer+Coffee=Awesome

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:53 UTC 2018

beer Chart ideas coffee funny after 12 g rated - 7852864768 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: beer , Chart , ideas , coffee , funny , after 12 , g rated Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Friendship Paradox

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:52 UTC 2018

annoy friendship paradox people venn diagram - 2603597568 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: annoy , friendship , paradox , people , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Dread the Delivery Attempt Notice

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:51 UTC 2018

delivery not home package Pie Chart UPS - 4996051968 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: delivery , not home , package , Pie Chart , UPS Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Love a Man in Uniform

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:48 UTC 2018

Canada gay homosexual mounties rcmp venn diagram - 6145535744 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Canada , gay , homosexual , mounties , rcmp , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time spent on phone with tech support

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:40 UTC 2018

customer situational humor tech support technology - 1699478272 LoL by: a880 Tagged: customer , situational humor , tech support , technology Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Like They Can Sense It

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:34 UTC 2018

murphys law Pie Chart ticket ticket checkers - 5265230848 Graph by: Lucieus Tagged: murphys law , Pie Chart , ticket , ticket checkers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Do It

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:28 UTC 2018

experience flow chart jobs volunteering - 4822616320 Graph by: (via supergreat.tumblr.com) Tagged: experience , flow chart , jobs , volunteering Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Your Blackened Toast is Done

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:27 UTC 2018

cooking food Pie Chart smoke detector - 7938114560 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: cooking , food , Pie Chart , smoke detector Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » MTV

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:25 UTC 2018

mtv Music reality tv TV Video - 1674054400 LoL by: honeymoonkiss Tagged: mtv , Music , reality tv , TV , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Horror

Tuesday 16 January 10:27:15 UTC 2018

civil rights controversy gay marriage Pie Chart - 4601680384 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: civil rights , controversy , gay marriage , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I am William H. Gates III, founder of Microsoft. Now that Nigeria's vaccination program has achieved zero new cases of polio in 2017, I am willing to transfer the total amount of $76,000,000 (seventy-six million) dollars to the Bank of Japan [Spi

Tuesday 16 January 9:45:34 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Since 2001, seventy-five women have been strangled or smothered in Chicago, and the majority of their killers have gotten away with it [Scary]

Tuesday 16 January 8:42:21 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh great, now I feel even worse [Sad]

Tuesday 16 January 7:56:53 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shiathole sends Donnie a blast of karma [Followup]

Tuesday 16 January 7:16:08 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [225 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Bull Market

Tuesday 16 January 6:11:40 UTC 2018

“If you bet on a horse, that’s gambling. If you bet you can make three spades, that’s entertainment. If you bet cotton will go up three points, that’s business. See the difference?” — Blackie Sherrod [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On Paul's Memory Bank tonight (8PM ET) more oldies…..from 1960 and 1961. Only took a little more than 3 years to cover 1955 through 1989 [Live]

Tuesday 16 January 5:29:08 UTC 2018

Live [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "And awaaaayyy we go"; OCTA bus dashcam footage of near-miss with stoned Nissan driver hurling his car into 2nd story dentist office is the hairiest thing you'll see all week [Video]

Tuesday 16 January 5:24:14 UTC 2018

Video [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another virgin is selling off her virginity to bankroll her college education and buy her parents a house (possible nsfw content on page) [Dumbass]

Tuesday 16 January 4:05:14 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [210 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman orders hit on romantic interest's partner, gets Florida-quality results [Florida]

Tuesday 16 January 3:50:04 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It turns out Steve McQueen's iconic Mustang from the movie 'Bullitt' is alive, well, and has been living in a New Jersey garage for the last few decades [Cool]

Tuesday 16 January 3:14:12 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A Christian group at University of Iowa rejects a gay member's bid for vice-president. Ultra Fark: Then sues the school for discrimination when their group is shut down [Facepalm]

Tuesday 16 January 2:48:45 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [174 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A cautionary tale: Don't try to hold back a sneeze [Scary]

Tuesday 16 January 2:23:36 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A special place in hell awaits: Parents charged after 13 abused siblings rescued from California house after 17-year-old girl escapes [Sick]

Tuesday 16 January 2:16:20 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [174 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jail says they "forgot" confidential inmate-lawyer meetings were being recorded for the last 4 years [Unlikely]

Tuesday 16 January 2:16:17 UTC 2018

Unlikely [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is it too much to ask that you potheads in Oregon to stop growing so much marijuana? You're harshing the buzz of other states that want to let people grow their own [Interesting]

Tuesday 16 January 1:25:19 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When your kids are legally adopted by another couple, just let them go, dude [Dumbass]

Tuesday 16 January 1:12:56 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this surfer [Photoshop]

Tuesday 16 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman dies after getting hit by a stray bullet in the Arizona desert. And since it happened in Arizona, police have no idea who pulled the trigger because there were literally hundreds of people in the desert randomly firing their guns [Sad]

Tuesday 16 January 0:50:09 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Archive

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