John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Army vet sues VA over scalpel left in body after surgery. VA plans counter-suit for theft and unauthorized possession of government property [Strange]

Monday 15 January 23:50:04 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nazi begs for his freedom. Ironic tag stares down its nose at him in silent fury [Asinine]

Monday 15 January 23:48:04 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [156 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If your 6-year-old gets scratched by a sick bat take him to the emergency room ASAP. Even if he does he cry when he's told he would get shots [Florida]

Monday 15 January 23:35:03 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Triple Dog Dare goes horribly wrong [Dumbass]

Monday 15 January 23:19:09 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Over 1000 kids charged with distributing explicit material by sharing video clip on social media of two 15-year-olds having sex in very conservative state of … Denmark? [Asinine]

Monday 15 January 22:50:04 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police report many loaves and fish were confiscated [Stupid]

Monday 15 January 22:20:05 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The most Walmart crime of the year goes to the two stealing a credit card at a Pa. Walmart, then scurrying away on scooters (With Meme-worthy Pic) [Amusing]

Monday 15 January 22:12:04 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want proof that Guinness was started by Farkers? Look no further than the company's Managing Director Hugh Beaver, who founded the now-famous Book of Records to settle bar arguments [Cool]

Monday 15 January 22:05:03 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Get on cruise ship, aware it is heading into "bomb cyclone". Experience "bomb cyclone" on cruise ship. Whine online about unpleasant "bomb cyclone' experience on cruise ship. Demand refund. Whine online about how unfair the cr

Monday 15 January 21:50:05 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A well-known NC pastor and his wife tested their faith… against a train [Dumbass]

Monday 15 January 21:35:03 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ivana Trump says ex-husband is not racist, merely confused. "And sometimes he says silly things" [Facepalm]

Monday 15 January 21:20:05 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have you no shame, Colonel? Have you no decency? [Sick]

Monday 15 January 21:05:03 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this puppy sculpture [Photoshop]

Monday 15 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School superintendent resigns over inappropriate relationship. On the one hand, the student had graduated from HS by the time it got physical. On the other hand, the dude totally has a porn name [Creepy]

Monday 15 January 20:50:04 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » *collective male wince* [Scary]

Monday 15 January 20:35:03 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And the state with the highest poverty rate is….California [Facepalm]

Monday 15 January 20:33:44 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Driver of a company that contracts for Amazon is robbed of his delivery van and 62 parcels so of course he is responsible for damages to the van and the stolen items [Fail]

Monday 15 January 20:03:44 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yes, it is a crime to share your opioid stash with a friend, causing him to overdose and die. Yet some people are outraged at this [Facepalm]

Monday 15 January 17:50:04 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [143 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cranberries singer Dolores O'Riordan dies suddenly at age 46. Insert your own tasteless Zombie joke here [Sad]

Monday 15 January 17:40:08 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [465 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police asking for help identifying masked suspect believed to have robbed Boost Mobile store of thousands of dollars. With 27 8×10 color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back to help catch thief [Amusing]

Monday 15 January 17:35:03 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Semi driver mashes truck loaded with potatoes under low-height bridge; driver knishes he hadn't scone this way. Gnocchi, I'll stop roasting now [Amusing]

Monday 15 January 17:20:05 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption this awesome otter [Caption]

Monday 15 January 17:00:01 UTC 2018

Caption [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Interesting facts you may not have known about Martin Luther King, Jr., which may or may not include that his shirts never wrinkled, his blood smelled like cologne, his hands felt like rich brown suede, and that you could see his charisma from space

Monday 15 January 16:47:12 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [60 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #347

Monday 15 January 16:43:08 UTC 2018

Wait for the radioactive soap traces. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When figuring out that you've had too much to drink and shouldn't be driving, it's best to pull over and sleep it off. Just not at the Holland Tunnel blocking traffic [Dumbass]

Monday 15 January 15:50:04 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's actually a scale that exists that can measure a man's likelihood to sexually harass someone, but judging by the illustration used in TFA it only works on giants [Interesting]

Monday 15 January 15:35:03 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 20 arrested after a fight broke out over a missing iPhone at John's Incredible Pizza. Fark: nobody checked the lost & found [Stupid]

Monday 15 January 15:05:04 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » States that have legalised the evil weed now reap what they sow with their evil crop: violent crime and murder are way down in all of them [Spiffy]

Monday 15 January 14:53:13 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [179 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In most of the country, it's MLK Day, but in Alabama and Mississippi…Happy Stigginit Day, everybody [Facepalm]

Monday 15 January 14:53:12 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Button pusher gets new job working as sex therapist where the consequences of pushing the wrong button aren't quite as dire [Strange]

Monday 15 January 14:35:03 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this rocky road [Photoshop]

Monday 15 January 14:30:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy outraged by his stepdaughter's ability to grow up decides to teach her a lesson by photoshopping her head onto women he was having sex with. That'll teach her. Oh, by the way, he's going to jail (NSFW) [Sick]

Monday 15 January 14:05:04 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [131 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Ronald’s no protester

Monday 15 January 13:57:06 UTC 2018

But I wonder how Ronald ever got targeted by the selective service system if he hadn't registered yet.

Press and Sun Bulletin – Mar 13, 1968 [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently farting at the gym keeps the sweaty dudes from hitting on you (page might be NSFW) [Spiffy]

Monday 15 January 13:50:06 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pennsyltucky Baptist church decides that the day before MLK's birthday is the most appropriate time to hold a special service thanking their community's civil servants [Asinine]

Monday 15 January 13:40:07 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two European breeds added to the AKC registry. In related news: American dog lovers trying to figure out how to pronounce Nederlandse kooikerhondje [Spiffy]

Monday 15 January 13:29:42 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The American civil-rights movement began in 1951, in Brevard County, with the assassination of Harry and Harriet Moore on Christmas Day" [Florida]

Monday 15 January 12:53:08 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." –Martin Luther King, Jr [Hero]

Monday 15 January 12:25:34 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Casino going up in flames. Surprisingly nothing to do with Trump [Scary]

Monday 15 January 11:45:31 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In other news, women in Sri Lanka have been dry since 1955 [Asinine]

Monday 15 January 11:05:41 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The key to a happy and sustained marriage is proper planning of that nasty hot make up sex [Giggity]

Monday 15 January 10:48:08 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 54-year-old UKIP leader dumps 25-year-old racist former glamour model after racist tweets about Meghan Markle went public [Followup]

Monday 15 January 10:20:42 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [95 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Time my hair looks good

Monday 15 January 10:18:25 UTC 2018

Bar Graph friend good hair home looks out perfect pretty school sucks - 2998158080 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , friend , good , hair , home , looks , out , perfect , pretty , school , sucks Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time spent watching a movie

Monday 15 January 10:18:24 UTC 2018

bathroom critical drink eating mouth movies phones Pie Chart plot Popcorn understand watching - 2366872320 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bathroom , critical , drink , eating , mouth , movies , phones , Pie Chart , plot , Popcorn , understand , watching Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » So Chaotic Neutral Is Just a Nice Way of Saying Noob?

Monday 15 January 10:18:16 UTC 2018

chaotic evil gamers good lawful neutral - 5242754560 Submitted by: alexoyeah Tagged: chaotic , evil , gamers , good , lawful , neutral Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Use ALL the Toppings!

Monday 15 January 10:18:10 UTC 2018

lunchables pie charts graphs funny - 4479276800 Graph by: pumaking73 Tagged: lunchables , pie charts , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Frozen Meals

Monday 15 January 10:18:08 UTC 2018

bored consume dots dying eating ending facebook food frozen ghosts gibberish Heat information meals movies Music pac man package post Pie Chart plot quoting random spiderpig talking the simpsons updates useful video games - 3145362688 Graph by: graphjamusername Tagged: bored , consume , dots , dying , eating , ending , facebook , food , frozen , ghosts , gibberish , Heat , information , meals , movies , Music , pac man , package post , Pie Chart , plot , quoting , random , spiderpig , talking , the simpsons , updates , … [Link]

GraphJam » I Love One of These Things

Monday 15 January 10:18:04 UTC 2018

brains michael jackson Pie Chart zombie - 4710470144 Not telling you which. Graph by: posmod07 Tagged: brains , michael jackson , Pie Chart , zombie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Also, It's Never Lupus

Monday 15 January 10:18:02 UTC 2018

doctor TV disease House MD Pie Chart - 6907478528 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: doctor , TV , disease , House MD , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Politics

Monday 15 January 10:18:01 UTC 2018

agree argue barack obama disagree politics talk venn diagram - 2531471360 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: agree , argue , barack obama , disagree , politics , talk , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » All the Gold in the World

Monday 15 January 10:18:00 UTC 2018

world gold wealth infographic money - 7018611456 The world has lot less gold than you might think. Graph by: Demon (via Demonocracy) Tagged: world , gold , wealth , infographic , money Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » If Only Someone Would Pay Me to Play Video Games

Monday 15 January 10:17:58 UTC 2018

life minecraft Pie Chart Pokémon school video games - 6266176000 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: life , minecraft , Pie Chart , Pokémon , school , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not THERE, Rover!

Monday 15 January 10:17:57 UTC 2018

pie charts dogs graphs funny - 7620857344 Graph by: MyNameIsNotPa Tagged: pie charts , dogs , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Arrow Keys Mess Up My Flow, Man

Monday 15 January 10:17:55 UTC 2018

arrow keys backspace Pie Chart typo - 4707520256 Graph by: gadget593 Tagged: arrow keys , backspace , Pie Chart , typo Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Charted Cheese Wheel

Monday 15 January 10:17:49 UTC 2018

cheese charts food - 7803783936 Click here for this charting of 65 delightful cheeses from around the world, assembled into one wondrous wheel! Submitted by: (via Pop Chart Lab) Tagged: cheese , charts , food Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My, What a Big Hammer You Have

Monday 15 January 10:17:46 UTC 2018

How People View Me scandanavian Thor - 4949597440 Submitted by: gtama Tagged: How People View Me , scandanavian , Thor Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "If my dog doesn't have to wear pants, why should I?" [Creepy]

Monday 15 January 10:03:41 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Indonesian stock exchange collapses. THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A FARKING METAPHOR [News]

Monday 15 January 9:49:34 UTC 2018

News [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can't park here. Try upstairs [Repeat]

Monday 15 January 8:31:32 UTC 2018

Repeat [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When robbing a store, it's a lot easier to have a getaway car waiting, rather than having to go knocking on neighbors' doors and asking for a ride while still wearing your masks [Fail]

Monday 15 January 7:41:51 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man spends decades torturing innocent people trying to heal, and nobody stops him [Sappy]

Monday 15 January 7:05:49 UTC 2018

Sappy [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 185: The Man From Formosa

Monday 15 January 7:00:16 UTC 2018

In 1703, London had a strange visitor, a young man who ate raw meat and claimed that he came from an unknown country on the island of Taiwan. Though many doubted him, he was able to answer any question he was asked, and even wrote a best-selling book about his homeland. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Last week's news summary in 74 seconds [Amusing]

Monday 15 January 6:25:32 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » U.S. ambassador to North Korea charged with DUI [Sad]

Monday 15 January 6:15:26 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Welcome to January 15th, enjoy your misery. Here's the math as to why [Misc]

Monday 15 January 5:00:01 UTC 2018

Misc [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You think that drunk driving is a modern problem? [Interesting]

Monday 15 January 4:45:31 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Illinois judge allows an 11-year-old girl to use medical marijuana at school. No word when Jeff Sessions will sue the girl [Followup]

Monday 15 January 4:12:48 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gun company decides that plausible deniability is for the weak, goes full fascist [Murica]

Monday 15 January 2:03:32 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [553 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Self-Ancestors

Monday 15 January 1:05:18 UTC 2018

A 1907 magazine reports two curiously ingrown family trees. The first is that of an alleged Neapolitan sailor: I married a widow. She had by her first husband a handsome girl named Silvietta, with whom my father fell in love and who became his second wife. Thus my father became my son-in-law and my stepdaughter became my mother, since she … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this dumpster fire [Photoshop]

Monday 15 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Erratic, cunning, linguist robs chauffeur [Weird]

Monday 15 January 0:03:42 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You two suck at cooking meth [Fail]

Monday 15 January 0:01:43 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Archive

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