John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Fires, floods, and plague. Did California build a false idol of Brad Goodman? [Scary]

Friday 12 January 23:38:04 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boy creates Build-A-Bow to beat bullying [Spiffy]

Friday 12 January 22:50:04 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thieves steal a 400-pound ramp from a business in NE Portland. That will buy a lot of Sloe Gin Fizzes [Strange]

Friday 12 January 22:20:06 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump Had lawyEr Pay adult film actrEss $130,000 to kEep Trump's sexuAl hookuP from prESs meRE dAys before the eLection [News]

Friday 12 January 22:14:39 UTC 2018

News [link] [523 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New world record shotski set during Ullrfest at 2128.3 feet by 1266 drunks [Murica]

Friday 12 January 21:50:05 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » They're Canadians. You don't apologize to them [Awkward]

Friday 12 January 21:35:03 UTC 2018

Awkward [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California chooses the nuclear option for nuclear power [Ironic]

Friday 12 January 21:20:06 UTC 2018

Ironic [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A brain scientist explains why you black out when you drink too much alcohol. Fortunately, there are lots of wedding photos [Interesting]

Friday 12 January 21:05:04 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Doh nut photoshop this [Photoshop]

Friday 12 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's a secret musical instrument hidden in a NYC subway station. Whatever you do, don't put your lips anywhere near it [Interesting]

Friday 12 January 20:20:05 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♪ I shot the coroner ♫ [News]

Friday 12 January 20:05:03 UTC 2018

News [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mobsters rounded up and arraigned: "Grumpy," "Porky," "Al Muscles," "Joe Valet," "Joey Blue Eyes" and "Boobsie." Wait, "Boobsie"? Really? [Boobies]

Friday 12 January 19:50:05 UTC 2018

Boobies [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Queen Elizabeth II says that the crown could break your bloody neck. If that doesn't work, she could also stab you [Obvious]

Friday 12 January 19:20:06 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Theme and Variations

Friday 12 January 19:19:57 UTC 2018

Image: Wikimedia Commons All of Johann Sebastian Bach’s surviving brothers were named Johann: Johann Rudolf, Johann Christoph, Johann Balthasar, Johannes Jonas, and Johann Jacob. His father was Johann Ambrosius Bach, and his sister was Johanna Juditha. By contrast, his other sister, Marie Salome, “stuck out like a sore thumb,” writes Jeremy Siepmann in Bach: Life and Works. “And they all had … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finders, keepers, eh [Interesting]

Friday 12 January 18:50:04 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gorilla numbers are up. And no, that's not just viewership on the Gorilla Channel [Cool]

Friday 12 January 18:20:05 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » PSA: if your job title is not 'Train Engineer' you probably shouldn't drive on train tracks [Florida]

Friday 12 January 17:50:05 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How robo-call *RING RING RUNG* moguls outwit the *RING RING RING* government and wreck the *RING RING RING* do not call list [Asinine]

Friday 12 January 17:20:05 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [165 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For being such a large metropolitan area, you'd think that Las Vegas would have a better sketch artist than this [Weird]

Friday 12 January 16:50:05 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fox News headline: "Laid-off Sam's Club employees reach out to BJ's for work." Desperate times call for desperate measures [Giggity]

Friday 12 January 16:20:06 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We have received reports that highly addictive substances will soon be circulating in our area …This "Cookie Cartel" is run primarily by young girls who lure you in with a good cause story" [Silly]

Friday 12 January 15:50:05 UTC 2018

Silly [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This drunk man was spinning the police right round, right round 17 times around a roundabout [Amusing]

Friday 12 January 15:20:05 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [58 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #346

Friday 12 January 15:13:05 UTC 2018

I was unaware that mermaids were lured by cigar smoke.

Full ad here. [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Static Copyrighted

Friday 12 January 15:00:00 UTC 2018

From a recent New Yorker article:

Sebastian Tomczak, an electronic musician from Australia, uploaded a ten-hour white-noise video to YouTube, and was promptly walloped with five infringement claims…

White noise is generally defined by hazy and inharmonious hissing—it’s noise-eating noise, anti-noise, a way of drowning out other sounds. Per a BBC report, the claimants accusing Tomczak of infringement included companies … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Firefighters record man being swept away by mudslide in his Prius [Scary]

Friday 12 January 14:50:04 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ontario's government controlled liquor stores have concerns with craft brewer's new brew logo, saying it could leave shoppers with the impression that the beer has special healing powers. Wait, it's beer. It doesn't?? [Strange]

Friday 12 January 14:20:05 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this social media mom [Photoshop]

Friday 12 January 14:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baltimore hospital CEO is profoundly sorry that you were offended by a woman wearing only a hospital gown being dumped curbside on a frigid night. Is also deeply apologetic and begs forgiveness for some bystander recording it on their cellphone [Foll

Friday 12 January 13:50:05 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [192 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So how does a 63-year-old woman dying of end stage cancer and no surviving family get a job to keep her benefits? Who would hire her? [Asinine]

Friday 12 January 12:59:31 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [300 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Suspected friend of dead guy says his scratches came from a "fight club" – oh geez, it's the FIRST DAMN RULE [Dumbass]

Friday 12 January 12:03:32 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Columnist at El Nuevo Día, Puerto Rico's largest newspaper, discovers why recovery there is so slow: I bet the Jews did it [Asinine]

Friday 12 January 11:30:31 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [78 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » One Was Enough

Friday 12 January 11:26:32 UTC 2018

glee Pie Chart season 3 terrible - 5246392064 [polldaddy poll="5538897"] Graph by: Unknown Tagged: glee , Pie Chart , season 3 , terrible Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just Suck It Up and Be a Man

Friday 12 January 11:26:29 UTC 2018

best of week gender kitchen men Misogyny women - 6124560384 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , gender , kitchen , men , Misogyny , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just Let Me Finish the Level, Mom!

Friday 12 January 11:26:28 UTC 2018

pie charts save point graphs video games funny parents - 7456476672 Graph by: TheYellowHat Tagged: pie charts , save point , graphs , video games , funny , parents Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam »  The Psychology of Winning

Friday 12 January 11:26:27 UTC 2018

winning infographic psychology - 7984193792 Graph by: neomam Tagged: winning , infographic , psychology Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just the House Settling?

Friday 12 January 11:26:25 UTC 2018

bar graphs graphs funny - 7636265216 That's what they WANT you to think. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bar graphs , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Insecurity Is so Hawt

Friday 12 January 11:26:24 UTC 2018

beauty insecurity Music one direction - 6601719552 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: beauty , insecurity , Music , one direction Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You're the Hero That Gotham Needs, Pilgrim

Friday 12 January 11:26:17 UTC 2018

bruce lee bruce wayne john wanye Movie the dark knight rises - 6451005696 Graph by: (via Jpjopj) Tagged: bruce lee , bruce wayne , john wanye , Movie , the dark knight rises Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Amount of makeup a female wears by age.

Friday 12 January 11:26:15 UTC 2018

adult child cosmetics Line Graph makeup orange teenage - 2517829888 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: adult , child , cosmetics , Line Graph , makeup , orange , teenage Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who is most likely to run you over

Friday 12 January 11:26:14 UTC 2018

Bar Graph cars driving elderly nascar over run soccer moms teenager - 2888109312 Graph by: simplyk Tagged: Bar Graph , cars , driving , elderly , nascar , over , run , soccer moms , teenager Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't Worry, Everyone Begs For It Eventually

Friday 12 January 11:26:08 UTC 2018

forever alone long piece Pie Chart tetris - 4724144896 Graph by: Tirna Tagged: forever alone , long piece , Pie Chart , tetris Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Makes Someone a Photographer?

Friday 12 January 11:26:06 UTC 2018

camera photography Pie Chart quality - 6619331840 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: camera , photography , Pie Chart , quality Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How About That Salad?

Friday 12 January 11:26:05 UTC 2018

burgers calories gross hamburgers infographic ingredients - 5050499584 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: burgers , calories , gross , hamburgers , infographic , ingredients Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Crotch Rocket Will Totally Help Me Pick Up Chicks

Friday 12 January 11:26:04 UTC 2018

Cheezburger Image 5065576192 Graph by: maxystone (via www.ninjette.org) Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things my dog does when it snows

Friday 12 January 11:26:03 UTC 2018

bark dogs eat indoors pee Pie Chart roll snow stay yellow - 3222656256 Graph by: Michelle_CAAAT Tagged: bark , dogs , eat , indoors , pee , Pie Chart , roll , snow , stay , yellow Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Composition of Dumbledore

Friday 12 January 11:26:01 UTC 2018

beards bin Laden dumbledore gandi santa claus venn diagram - 6372574208 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: beards , bin Laden , dumbledore , gandi , santa claus , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Can't Stop (Like a Boss)

Friday 12 January 11:25:50 UTC 2018

chug crumbs Like a Boss once you pop Pie Chart pringles - 4280763648 Graph by: -Crow- Tagged: chug , crumbs , Like a Boss , once you pop , Pie Chart , pringles Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Pretty Sure Corgis Would Be Hufflepuffs

Friday 12 January 11:25:48 UTC 2018

corgi cute doctor who Harry Potter my little pony pop culture Star Trek Thor - 4998025728 Graph by: (via loldwell) Tagged: corgi , cute , doctor who , Harry Potter , my little pony , pop culture , Star Trek , Thor Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What you look like in a van

Friday 12 January 11:25:45 UTC 2018

car drive rapist van - 1541931776 LoL by: thedameon2005 Tagged: car , drive , rapist , van Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know the officer who arrested the teacher who dared to question the superintendent's exorbitant pay raise? Yeah, he's been investigated for excessive force before [Followup]

Friday 12 January 10:32:31 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coal mit uns [Asinine]

Friday 12 January 9:25:50 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Crime pro-tip — when paying kickbacks to someone, A) don't write a check and B) don't write "Thank You" as the memo line [Dumbass]

Friday 12 January 8:39:33 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can Las Vegas motorists handle driving in rain? Don't bet on it [Fail]

Friday 12 January 6:27:05 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Some Odd Words

Friday 12 January 6:10:04 UTC 2018

Doubtful but entertaining: Several sources define vacansopapurosophobia as “fear of blank paper” — it’s not in the Oxford English Dictionary, but it’s certainly a useful word. I’ve also seen artiformologicalintactitudinarianis~ “one who studies 4-5-letter Latin prefixes and suffixes.” I don’t have a source for that; it’s not in the OED either. In Say It My Way, Willard R. Espy defines … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What has to be the most Atlanta – esque headline ever. Guess the Real Housewives, Hip Hop Atlanta, or Walking Dead crowd was too busy [Amusing]

Friday 12 January 4:22:49 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let those among us who haven't confused a sex party for a regular costume party cast the first stone [Weird]

Friday 12 January 3:51:54 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When you go black snow you'll never go back snow [Strange]

Friday 12 January 3:41:07 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Probably not the best thing to be carrying when a determined police service dog is tracking you down, a) drugs, b) a bomb c) 3 club packs of stolen steaks [Amusing]

Friday 12 January 3:17:07 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As many as 7 million American children may be impervious to x-ray vision [Scary]

Friday 12 January 2:53:07 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We've always wanted to break into our schools and smash all the windows. In Japan, it is part of your final exam [Weird]

Friday 12 January 2:44:15 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy asks for internet's help with his girlfriend's fetish for giving him food she's already chewed up. My advice: Run away very very fast [Sick]

Friday 12 January 2:42:55 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Michelle loved to shop at Goodwill, however she probably did not want her ashes to be donated there [Fail]

Friday 12 January 2:29:07 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toke they told me, pa rum pum pum pum. We brought you weed, you see pa rum pum pum pum. Our finest kush we bring pa rum pum pum pum. Oh that's not legal here? Pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum [Repeat]

Friday 12 January 2:22:42 UTC 2018

Repeat [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In response to Oregon letting people pump their own gas, Officials tell Oregonians no more sex [Giggity]

Friday 12 January 2:05:07 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How can you tell you live in 2018 and not 1998? When headlines like "Porn Site Stole French Karate Teacher's Identity in Cryptocurrency Hustle" actually make sense [Strange]

Friday 12 January 1:41:07 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Queensland Government has scrapped a requirement for gender to be shown on all driver's licences as well as eye and hair color. While subby understands he objects to being some grey amorphous mass of cells without any real identity [Interesti

Friday 12 January 1:20:49 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "What's the problem, officer? Sure, I left my toddlers home alone, but the dogs were there to keep them from getting to the shotgun" [Florida]

Friday 12 January 1:17:07 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this high-level negotiation [Photoshop]

Friday 12 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Las Vegas man arrested after attacking his daughter with a jar of cheese dip. To be fair, it was Doritos cheese dip, so it's not like anyone was going to eat it [Asinine]

Friday 12 January 0:53:07 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How much sexual innuendo can we fit into 30 seconds? [Giggity]

Friday 12 January 0:29:07 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » About those 7 words banned at the CDC… George Carlin unavailable for comment [Facepalm]

Friday 12 January 0:26:48 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump: I probably have a very good relationship with Kim Jung Un. #25th [Scary]

Friday 12 January 0:22:56 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Darrell Issa (R-Amblinman) might just run for election in an easier district, handing 2 seats to Democrats instead of 1 [Followup]

Friday 12 January 0:05:07 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Archive

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