John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Washington, DC trolls Russia [Amusing]

Wednesday 10 January 23:50:05 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Weird: Prince Mitchell arrested for the murder of Prince Mitchell | Fark: HIS TWIN [Florida]

Wednesday 10 January 23:36:05 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists warn that a deadly virus is being excreted from macaque, causing five year olds everywhere to snicker uncontrollably [Florida]

Wednesday 10 January 23:20:05 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Being caught on tape offering to hook your buddies up with your girlfriend to pay them back for lending you money to hire a hooker is a not only a real relationship killer, but, if your dad is the Prime Minister, it's also a national scandal [Fol

Wednesday 10 January 23:06:04 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man mistakenly thinks "taking the piss" is a literal concept [Florida]

Wednesday 10 January 22:50:04 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Human fireball finds out what happens when cops use a taser and tear gas at the same time [Scary]

Wednesday 10 January 22:37:02 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can't resist the temptation of those delicious looking Tide pods? Try this recipe for an edible version [Weird]

Wednesday 10 January 22:22:55 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ice hotel catches on fire [Ironic]

Wednesday 10 January 22:08:48 UTC 2018

Ironic [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Astronaut blames "measurement mistake" after misrepresenting his growth. Subby usually blames the cold [Followup]

Wednesday 10 January 21:54:41 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The complete feminization of Great Barrier Reef sea turtles is possible, according to scientists and angry fedora-wearing male sea turtles [Interesting]

Wednesday 10 January 21:40:34 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » State's largest coal fired power plant on fire. Officials hope to have it under control sometime in 2056 [Fail]

Wednesday 10 January 21:24:34 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you read the NYC papers in 1994 you might remember that The Daily News claimed a black, lesbian activist faked her own rape in broad daylight in a public park. Now they'll have to claim she faked the DNA of the guy who did it [Followup]

Wednesday 10 January 21:08:34 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this daredevil cleaner [Photoshop]

Wednesday 10 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newfoundland $1.5M lottery winner dies of cancer, reducing province's median wealth by over $25,000 [Sad]

Wednesday 10 January 20:46:45 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meth lab busted after police go to a house to interview someone with the most redneck-sounding name in Pennsyltucky [Obvious]

Wednesday 10 January 20:20:05 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Montecito death toll now at 15. Is it too soon yet to talk about mud control? [Followup]

Wednesday 10 January 20:03:43 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I'll trade you my stepdaughter's puppy for some meth" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 10 January 19:41:54 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Mermaid tails' banned in local pools. Whale tails still ok [Strange]

Wednesday 10 January 19:20:05 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beware the 7 layer conspiracy [Repeat]

Wednesday 10 January 19:08:04 UTC 2018

Repeat [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » An Odd Fact

Wednesday 10 January 18:50:04 UTC 2018

Mentioned in James Tanton’s Mathematics Galore!: In 1740 the French mathematician Philippe Naudé sent a letter to Leonhard Euler asking how many ways a positive integer could be written as a sum of distinct positive integers (regardless of their order). In considering the problem Euler found something remarkable. Let D(n) be the number of ways to write n as a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman accidentally shoots her aunt's boyfriend while "horsing around." Excuse me, horses can't shoot people [Fail]

Wednesday 10 January 18:49:37 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Christians said they saw a "sign from God" following a firebombing attack by Muslim militants that burned through much of the church interior but stopped at the open Bible on the altar, in a story that some are calling fake pews [Unlikely]

Wednesday 10 January 18:32:28 UTC 2018

Unlikely [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 2017 lightning deaths hit all-time record low in US thanks to actions taken by President Trump to attract all lightning strikes to himself [Interesting]

Wednesday 10 January 18:15:20 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pay off your student loans quicker by living rent-free [Obvious]

Wednesday 10 January 17:59:20 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police said they were never called to the actual party. Or any party. They felt left out, so they arrested 70 people for less than what your grandmother has on her [Followup]

Wednesday 10 January 17:43:20 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are bad HOAs, then there are horrible HOAs. Then you got HOAs like this one that redefine everything you thought you hated about HOAs [Asinine]

Wednesday 10 January 17:29:13 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [309 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Large black snake takes issue with driver in road rage incident, 'peers' at him through car window on highway. Yes, it's Australia [Scary]

Wednesday 10 January 17:15:06 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Aussie flu is more severe than the Swine flu. Is there anything from that country which is not deadlier than if it came from anywhere else? [Scary]

Wednesday 10 January 17:01:46 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More and more Americans are getting passports and travelling the world. Soon, no place will be safe from us. Muahahahah [Murica]

Wednesday 10 January 16:48:26 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When crashing your SUV along the Interstate, the scariest part is: A) Going Airborne? B) Crashing Through Fences? C) Landing on Pallets of Bee Hive Boxes? [Obvious]

Wednesday 10 January 16:35:06 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone has found a beheaded moose in remote Nevada. A BOLO has been put out for a flying squirrel wearing an old-timey pilot's helmet [Sad]

Wednesday 10 January 16:20:06 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pervy pastor gets standing O for his apology for trying to give a 17-year-old a standing O 20 years ago [Creepy]

Wednesday 10 January 16:04:54 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [206 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Normay" [Facepalm]

Wednesday 10 January 15:52:57 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Charlie Daniels issues grim warning to Taco Bell about the Illuminati… annddd that's enough internet for me for the day [Facepalm]

Wednesday 10 January 15:47:46 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are those who draw penises in the dirt on the back of vans. Then there's this guy [Cool]

Wednesday 10 January 15:20:05 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "After stuffing the feminine products down his pants, he grabbed a cold beer, which he did purchase, according to the Sheriff's Office" [Facepalm]

Wednesday 10 January 14:50:04 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [47 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Trimming the Largest Yew Hedge

Wednesday 10 January 14:36:15 UTC 2018

According to The Telegraph, they use a cherry picker nowadays to trim the thing. It produces almost a ton of clippings, which are sold to pharmaceutical companies who use yew extract as a key ingredient in a chemotherapy drug, Docetaxel.

I can't figure out how the guy is just standing on top of the hedge. Can it really support a … [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Heidi Lee’s Hats

Wednesday 10 January 14:36:14 UTC 2018

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » We'd kindly like to ask our patrons not have sex with the pizzas [Amusing]

Wednesday 10 January 14:20:05 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this still life [Photoshop]

Wednesday 10 January 14:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Growing up, our drive-thru at the bank always had treats for our dog. Here's a bakery expanding on that idea a bit. Happy Woofday Wednesday [Cool]

Wednesday 10 January 14:00:00 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wisconsin unveils million-dollar ad campaign designed to lure millennials from Chicago after learning 'how young out-of-state residents viewed Wisconsin as beer, cheese and little else.' [Obvious]

Wednesday 10 January 13:50:04 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [148 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CNN can barely contain its excitement as a firm announces the search for MH370 is back on [Followup]

Wednesday 10 January 12:52:19 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently, the British drink enough tea to choke a turtle [Interesting]

Wednesday 10 January 12:50:04 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police Unions are in favor of body cams, as long as no one actually gets to see the footage [Obvious]

Wednesday 10 January 12:18:38 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Snow plowed [Asinine]

Wednesday 10 January 11:47:38 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [29 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » How Drunk Can You Get at Your Office Holiday Party?

Wednesday 10 January 10:36:16 UTC 2018

cool guide alcohol job drunk work holiday office parties after 12 g rated - 6878819584 Graph by: (via Grubstreet ) Tagged: cool , guide , alcohol , job , drunk , work , holiday office parties , after 12 , g rated Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Correlation to Actual Grade: None

Wednesday 10 January 10:36:15 UTC 2018

confidence tests graphs line graphs funny - 7517912576 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: confidence , tests , graphs , line graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Fight Internet Cliché!

Wednesday 10 January 10:36:10 UTC 2018

cliches Chart the internets - 7946833408 Submitted by: (via sarahlcomics) Tagged: cliches , Chart , the internets Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Complaint Inside a Complaint: Lamentation

Wednesday 10 January 10:36:08 UTC 2018

Inception Memes self referential Skyrim - 5585931520 Graph by: snakebarnes Tagged: Inception , Memes , self referential , Skyrim Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » RIP Neil Armstrong

Wednesday 10 January 10:36:07 UTC 2018

american hero moon landing neil armstrong rip science space venn diagram - 6547652096 Graph by: (via Storyboard) Tagged: american hero , moon landing , neil armstrong , rip , science , space , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons for traffic on the freeway

Wednesday 10 January 10:36:03 UTC 2018

accidents cars driving freeway highway merging problems rubbernecking stop traffic - 2171237632 Graph by: benditlikebden Tagged: accidents , cars , driving , freeway , highway , merging , problems , rubbernecking , stop , traffic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » There's Something Strange Around Here, But It's No Ghost

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:59 UTC 2018

call me maybe Ghostbusters Movie Pie Chart who you gonna call - 6519369216 Graph by: Mog398 Tagged: call me maybe , Ghostbusters , Movie , Pie Chart , who you gonna call Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Venn Diagrams: The New Magnets?

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:56 UTC 2018

hilarious how do they work magnets meta political venn diagram - 4310742016 Graph by: thomasoniii Tagged: hilarious , how do they work , magnets , meta , political , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Questions I'm forced to answer as a photo lab employee

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:52 UTC 2018

1 hour photo developing employee legitimate photo lab Pie Chart questions - 2518736640 Graph by: LinkMoo Tagged: 1 hour photo , developing , employee , legitimate , photo lab , Pie Chart , questions Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Pregnancy:

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:50 UTC 2018

food joke pregnant stereotypes women - 1660882176 LoL by: inzillah Tagged: food , joke , pregnant , stereotypes , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Self Defense Steps for Women

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:49 UTC 2018

best of week commitment issues self defense women - 5527437312 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: best of week , commitment issues , self defense , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Purposes of people in mascot suits

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:47 UTC 2018

children cry mascots pep sports teams - 2105363200 Graph by: TheCapm Tagged: children , cry , mascots , pep , sports , teams Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why Does Tetris Hate Me…

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:46 UTC 2018

Cheezburger Image 4413405184 At least that T-shaped piece isn't too bad… Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Truth About Internet Statistics

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:43 UTC 2018

internet Pie Chart Statistics - 7079590144 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: internet , Pie Chart , Statistics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Put the "Pro" in "Procrastination"

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:41 UTC 2018

pro procrastination time work - 6013284608 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pro , procrastination , time , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » THAT TREE IS FAR AWAY

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:38 UTC 2018

insignificance jokes mitch hedberg repetition spreadsheet volume what - 4265792000 Graph by: CallMeCal Tagged: insignificance , jokes , mitch hedberg , repetition , spreadsheet , volume , what Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'll Totally Remember This

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:34 UTC 2018

meeting work notes Pie Chart - 7035548928 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: meeting , work , notes , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Laws Broken by Wile E. Coyote

Wednesday 10 January 10:35:31 UTC 2018

animals arizona broken cartoons cruelty Gravity law looney tunes Pie Chart state laws warner brothers wile e coyote - 2576444416 Graph by: EvWill Tagged: animals , arizona , broken , cartoons , cruelty , Gravity , law , looney tunes , Pie Chart , state laws , warner brothers , wile e coyote Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alzheimer's Society declares Arts Program a rousing success, noting people keep coming back again and again to try it out [Spiffy]

Wednesday 10 January 9:10:39 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Los Angeles swatting suspect about to be swatted with warrant from Calgary. (Hero tag is for Calgary police who talked to their swatting target and didn't shoot anybody) [Hero]

Wednesday 10 January 8:08:38 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Having trouble getting women to sleep with you? Move to a rural area [Giggity]

Wednesday 10 January 8:00:34 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [183 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Intoxicated driver crashed his vehicle and sent another to the hospital with injuries. The condition of the hospitalized vehicle is unknown [Fail]

Wednesday 10 January 7:13:59 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Mechanics of History

Wednesday 10 January 6:58:52 UTC 2018

Like his Celui qui tombe of 2014, acrobat Yoann Bourgeois’s La mécanique de l’Histoire is entirely abstract and yet freighted with meaning. He presented it at the Panthéon in Paris last year — the site of Léon Foucault’s original rotation-demonstrating pendulum. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We can now add the name "Kevin Harrington" to the list of Russian moles in the Trump administration [Asinine]

Wednesday 10 January 5:38:31 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hunter risks his life to rescue terrified deer trapped on frozen lake. Later tells reporters that it was delicious. (with video) [Spiffy]

Wednesday 10 January 5:38:23 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump spiritual advisor *snicker* wants you *cackle* to send her up to *LOL* 1 month's pay *guffaw* or face 'Consequences' *gasp* *eeeeeROFLMAO* *gasp* [Obvious]

Wednesday 10 January 5:18:27 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [154 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's best grandparents busted AGAIN while traveling through Nebraska [Followup]

Wednesday 10 January 4:38:09 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Earthquake north of Honduras could result in tsunami hitting Puerto Rico and US Virgin Islands as soon as 12:30am Eastern Time. Goddammitsomuch! UPDATE: tsunami alert cancelled [News]

Wednesday 10 January 4:26:38 UTC 2018

News [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "MormonLeaks" and "FaithLeaks" are not your personal erotica sites. Unless you're really into whistleblowing [Creepy]

Wednesday 10 January 4:23:24 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thousands potentially exposed to Hepatitis A at Utah 7-11, Fark parties [Sick]

Wednesday 10 January 3:50:03 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Please note: your cunning plan of having someone hide your illegal guns may be overheard by police, especially if you're talking about on the phone from your jail cell [Fail]

Wednesday 10 January 3:35:50 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thai Prime Minister seem a little flat at press conferences [Amusing]

Wednesday 10 January 3:28:14 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not a stable genius [Sick]

Wednesday 10 January 3:17:30 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Someone stabbing a cop at Jack-in-the-Box? You don't hear that quite often". Quotable guy on the street didn't realize perp was his own brother [Ironic]

Wednesday 10 January 3:06:25 UTC 2018

Ironic [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » WNKY-TV's (Bowling Green) Radar The Weather Dog now frolicking atop nimbostratus and cumulonimbus formations. Next of kin continue Kentucky's dominance in broadcast of canine meteorology [Sad]

Wednesday 10 January 2:44:36 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Step inside the orgasm lab where scientists (and fapping test subjects) are hard at work finding cures for insomnia, depression and the common cold (possible nsfw content on page) [Interesting]

Wednesday 10 January 2:40:30 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Correction: In an earlier version of this article, the headline and first paragraph incorrectly said the man who broke into the restaurant ate pulled pork [Misc]

Wednesday 10 January 2:22:47 UTC 2018

Misc [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When applying for a job with a police department, your chances of getting hired would be much better if you didn't just rob a bank [Dumbass]

Wednesday 10 January 2:00:58 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Problem: parrots keep moving road cones. Solution: set up a gym for the parrots to use instead [Spiffy]

Wednesday 10 January 1:39:09 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Owner of online retail company travels 500 miles to beat up customer who left a bad review. Now THAT'S customer service [Dumbass]

Wednesday 10 January 1:17:20 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this truck hiding in the weeds [Photoshop]

Wednesday 10 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who grew breasts after taking medication for Tourette's Syndrome gets a chance to get more than the $500,000 he was awarded for it. Shiat [Boobies]

Wednesday 10 January 0:55:31 UTC 2018

Boobies [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California pulls stoned-driving ad after criticism. It seems some people thought a guy saying, "I love it" when referring to marijuana is somehow promoting its use [Awkward]

Wednesday 10 January 0:46:14 UTC 2018

Awkward [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Virgin doesn't want the Daily Fail inside it [Giggity]

Wednesday 10 January 0:33:42 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Mexico lawmaker to file bill that would prohibit construction of border wall on New Mexico state land. Trump not worried as he only want to build wall on US soil [Spiffy]

Wednesday 10 January 0:11:53 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Archive

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