John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » If a stranger bares her chest to get you to follow her, you should always assume it's a trap [PSA]

Tuesday 9 January 23:52:26 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♪ What rolls down roads, and over your toes, and onto your Toyota's hood? With a snap and a crack, it'll break your back, it's log, log, log ♪ [Scary]

Tuesday 9 January 23:40:04 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Standardizing Testing and Accountability Before Large Elections Giving Electors Necessary Information for Unobstructed Selection Act [Weird]

Tuesday 9 January 23:08:32 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Please stand clear of the gaping hole where the Monorail's doors should be [Florida]

Tuesday 9 January 22:41:53 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: "Warning" labels [Photoshop]

Tuesday 9 January 21:30:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » TSA reveals strangest items found in 2017, including Satan's pizza cutter, a rifle-shaped umbrella, and Demogorgon's ice cream scoop [Strange]

Tuesday 9 January 21:20:04 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Diane Feinstein: Suck it, Chuck. *releases Fusion GPS testimony* (LGT transcript PDF). Some content NSFW [NewsFlash]

Tuesday 9 January 20:19:41 UTC 2018

NewsFlash [link] [1636 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » My son needs to be excused from prison today. He has to go to school and then has a hockey game. Signed, Convicted Pedophile Conner Neurauter's Mom [Sick]

Tuesday 9 January 20:19:40 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Snow strands thousands of tourists in Switzerland who are in Switzerland for the snow [Ironic]

Tuesday 9 January 20:19:39 UTC 2018

Ironic [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Fark Headline of the Year results, plus how to dominate at submitting [FarkBlog]

Tuesday 9 January 19:57:02 UTC 2018

FarkBlog [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let's grab a bag of fresh oysters and have them raw, they said. What's the worst that could happen, they said? [Scary]

Tuesday 9 January 19:50:04 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now that fire season is over in California, it is time for mudslide season. Mmmm, mudslides [Scary]

Tuesday 9 January 19:20:05 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Customs seizes nearly $55,000 worth of Air Gordans [Fail]

Tuesday 9 January 18:50:04 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Light Reading

Tuesday 9 January 18:05:22 UTC 2018

Joseph-Henri Flacon found the 1804 French Civil Code too dry, so he rewrote it in rhyming verse. The whole thing is here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teacher: "Umm, we haven't gotten a pay raise in 30 years, why should you get one, Mr. Superintendent?" Superintendent: "Cuff her" [Scary]

Tuesday 9 January 17:49:15 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [185 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2017 Headline of the Year contests [Followup]

Tuesday 9 January 17:49:08 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Barefoot young man steals police car for beer run. All that for a 40? [Dumbass]

Tuesday 9 January 17:20:04 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man demonstrates how to clean a handgun by showing exactly what not to do [Dumbass]

Tuesday 9 January 16:50:05 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [204 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best Korea pledges to send a team to cheerleaders to this year's Winter Olympics. I'm not sure they've completely grasped the concept of cheerleading, but at least there'll be a lot of them. And boy will they be synchronised [Strange]

Tuesday 9 January 16:20:04 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone is painting purple tacos all over Dallas and no one knows why [Strange]

Tuesday 9 January 15:50:05 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I think we just found the academia equivalent of doing a cartwheel in a bikini [Asinine]

Tuesday 9 January 15:15:32 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [365 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The British did not choose wisely at the Battle of New Orleans. This is a repeat from 1812 [Murica]

Tuesday 9 January 14:50:05 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Tennis Match: Beach Edition [Photoshop]

Tuesday 9 January 14:30:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man's pants contain: a.) rack of ribs, b.) mashed potatoes, c.) fried chicken, d.) car keys, e.) all of the above [Florida]

Tuesday 9 January 14:20:04 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [29 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Shed Defender

Tuesday 9 January 13:56:40 UTC 2018

AKA leotards for dogs. Available at sheddefender.com.

The patent pending Shed Defender is intended to be worn in the house, car, or anywhere you don’t want dog hair, dirt, dander, and allergens. Made from premium eco-friendly fabric that is lightweight and breathable to ensure the dog stays safe, cool and comfortable. Four-way stretch fabric allows the dog to move freely. … [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Mystery Gadget 55

Tuesday 9 January 13:56:39 UTC 2018

What tha–?

Answer is here.

Or after the jump. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Portland's top officials say it's OK for police to go through your garbage as it becomes 'public property' when you throw it out. Local rag decides to go through garbage of Portland's top officials to see what they throw out. Hila

Tuesday 9 January 13:50:05 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [258 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » SpaceX secret payload Zuma burned up in the atmosphere [Followup]

Tuesday 9 January 13:40:50 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [159 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your daily dose of 'Awwwww': Video of a barnyard cat and a baby cow nuzzling each other [Video]

Tuesday 9 January 12:56:01 UTC 2018

Video [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Serial criminal makes poor tattoo choice [Dumbass]

Tuesday 9 January 12:21:02 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest food to feel guilty about enjoying is **spins wheels** rotisserie chicken from the supermarket [Sad]

Tuesday 9 January 10:30:01 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [212 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » I'm Not Sure How Any of These Are Still Working

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:37 UTC 2018

anatomy hearts merica paula deen ron swanson tumblr zombie - 6279620864 Graph by: (via Awkward Elevator) Tagged: anatomy , hearts , merica , paula deen , ron swanson , tumblr , zombie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Box Is Key

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:35 UTC 2018

metal gear solid video games box Bar Graph - 6678137856 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: metal gear solid , video games , box , Bar Graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How the Sex Education Section in Class Goes

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:33 UTC 2018

school sex ed - 7803470592 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: school , sex ed Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't Mess With My Interwebs

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:29 UTC 2018

Submitted by: (via Fight for the Future) Tagged: best of week , internet , interwebs , piracy , politics , protect IP , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Also Know Cerveza y Bano

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:22 UTC 2018

languages me gusta Pie Chart spanish - 4770217216 Graph by: iWaddle Tagged: languages , me gusta , Pie Chart , spanish Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Totally Called That One

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:16 UTC 2018

dead horror movie killer phone calls Pie Chart - 6484962304 Graph by: Ass_Kicker Tagged: dead , horror movie , killer , phone calls , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons Someone Buys a Hybrid

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:13 UTC 2018

bragging buy cars cool environmental hybrid neighbor Party - 2362772736 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bragging , buy , cars , cool , environmental , hybrid , neighbor , Party Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:11 UTC 2018

blocking front fruit head melon row sit venn diagram - 2814771200 Graph by: megabat Tagged: blocking , front , fruit , head , melon , row , sit , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Cat Fur, Cat Fur Everywhere

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:10 UTC 2018

best of week crazy cat lady fur kitty Line Graph x everywhere - 6229924608 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: best of week , crazy cat lady , fur , kitty , Line Graph , x everywhere Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Giving Us All a Bad Name

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:05 UTC 2018

the south Pie Chart honey boo-boo reality tv idiots - 6637198336 Graph by: CrimsonSparxx Tagged: the south , Pie Chart , honey boo-boo , reality tv , idiots Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » At Least You Have the Hair

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:03 UTC 2018

How People View Me nerds WoW - 4923383296 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: How People View Me , nerds , WoW Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Cutlery Unification

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:01 UTC 2018

cutlery fork knife knifoon noms spike spoon spork venn diagram - 4742891264 Graph by: ekahnicole Tagged: cutlery , fork , knife , knifoon , noms , spike , spoon , spork , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Here's a Wonderful Reason To Never Accomplish Anything

Tuesday 9 January 9:56:00 UTC 2018

Line Graph ideas - 7901869824 Graph by: Spireal Tagged: Line Graph , ideas Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wonderful

Tuesday 9 January 9:55:57 UTC 2018

art best of week science venn diagram wonderful - 5971455744 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: art , best of week , science , venn diagram , wonderful Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Model of the Nickel Atom, or The Nickel-ous Cage

Tuesday 9 January 9:55:51 UTC 2018

school puns atoms graphs nic cage - 7844589056 Submitted by: (via there-will-be-toast) Tagged: school , puns , atoms , graphs , nic cage Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things Balrog shall do Pass According to Gandalf:

Tuesday 9 January 9:55:50 UTC 2018

gandalf Lord of the Rings movies - 3715902464 Things Balrog shall do Pass According to Gandalf: Graph by: throw_sand Tagged: gandalf , Lord of the Rings , movies Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not as Sexy as You Thought

Tuesday 9 January 9:55:49 UTC 2018

clothing laundry Pie Chart underwear - 5402849792 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: clothing , laundry , Pie Chart , underwear Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia's Syrian airbase was actually attacked by a swarm of drones. The Oracle could not be reached for comment [Scary]

Tuesday 9 January 9:41:02 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study finds that narcissists tend to follow other narcissists on Instagram, because of course they want to follow me [Obvious]

Tuesday 9 January 8:49:46 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baltimorons be like: I think I'll thaw my frozen pipes with a blowtorch. What's the worst that can happen? [Dumbass]

Tuesday 9 January 7:42:32 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You may live off the grid if you are a bearded hipster, but if you are a bearded Amish, you can be court ordered to use electricity, and of course, pay your new electric bills [Asinine]

Tuesday 9 January 7:26:00 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A flu pandemic would kill us all [Scary]

Tuesday 9 January 7:17:46 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jamie Lee Curtis arrested after chase [Strange]

Tuesday 9 January 6:48:42 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Support

Tuesday 9 January 6:28:49 UTC 2018

In early 1919, under the headline “The Great Indian Rope Trick Photographed for the First Time,” the Strand published this image by Lieutenant F.W. Holmes, VC, MM. He said he’d taken it at Kirkee, near Poona, in 1917. An old man had begun “by unwinding from about his waist a long rope, which he threw upwards in the air, where … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Two horses and six dogs have been evacuated, but four dogs, 120 chickens, two turkeys and a duck still remain" [Scary]

Tuesday 9 January 6:13:31 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » N a t i o n a l…Z o o ' s…t w o…t o e d…s l o t h…p a s s e s…a w a y…a f t e r…f o r t y…s i x…y e a r s…, p r e s u m a b l y…t o…f o l l o w…her…d r e a m s [Sad]

Tuesday 9 January 4:52:45 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally I can get started on that Mickey Mouse hentai [Cool]

Tuesday 9 January 4:30:41 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Busted pipes create 20-story 'mother of all icicles' in Chicago [Cool]

Tuesday 9 January 4:27:47 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) is almost all Oldies night as we feature songs from the 2nd half of the 1950's. The show will end with a mini-tribute to Moody Blues co-founder Ray Thomas [Live]

Tuesday 9 January 3:55:15 UTC 2018

Live [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Irony claims 75 boats as "Just Add Water" succumbs to fire [Ironic]

Tuesday 9 January 3:47:25 UTC 2018

Ironic [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Where there's smoke, there's fire… also weed [Awkward]

Tuesday 9 January 3:31:25 UTC 2018

Awkward [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why the word "ninja" should never be used in a job title. Fark screen names still acceptable, though [Obvious]

Tuesday 9 January 3:15:25 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Cougar hunt in Alberta sparks debate among scientists, hunters and activists", college aged males [Interesting]

Tuesday 9 January 2:59:25 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When JFK has a meltdown and you're about to lose your mind, somehow watching this very pleasant flight attendant just doing his job is the balm you need to keep going [Asinine]

Tuesday 9 January 2:43:25 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's word of the day: "Brumation." (Bonus: alligators sticking their freakin' SNOUTS through ice to breathe) [Cool]

Tuesday 9 January 2:27:25 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's waking from a bad dream and there's waking to find the nightmare is just starting [Scary]

Tuesday 9 January 2:20:04 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » French President Macron: Look at my horse. My horse is amazing. Give it a lick. Xi Jinping: It tastes just like raisins [Interesting]

Tuesday 9 January 2:11:25 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Real life Kylo Ren is taking his workplace temper tantrums straight to imperial arbitration [Dumbass]

Tuesday 9 January 1:55:25 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [306 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested in DC trying to pick up 9.4 pounds of marijuana delivered to wrong address [News]

Tuesday 9 January 1:44:24 UTC 2018

News [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when you're in the bathroom dropping a deuce and your spouse barges in upset about something? How about if he/she starts shooting at you? [Scary]

Tuesday 9 January 1:39:25 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Historian finds what appears to be pressed flower from Lincoln's casket. This means my Jurassic Park/Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter crossover is one step closer to reality [Interesting]

Tuesday 9 January 1:23:25 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good idea *click* Picking up spare change on your daily walk. Bad idea: *click* picking up spare grenades on your daily walk [Scary]

Tuesday 9 January 1:07:25 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this descent into madness [Photoshop]

Tuesday 9 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York's annual 'No Pants Subway Ride' suffers a bit of shrinkage this year [Giggity]

Tuesday 9 January 0:51:25 UTC 2018

Giggity [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Recovery of missing duck hunters hindered by ice, snickering dog [Interesting]

Tuesday 9 January 0:35:25 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cat wins longest hide-and-go-seek contest ever [Unlikely]

Tuesday 9 January 0:19:25 UTC 2018

Unlikely [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man finds good use for his frozen pool [Hero]

Tuesday 9 January 0:03:25 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Archive

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