John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Someone has created a 'Virtual Reality Gas Pump Training Program' for Oregonians [Amusing]

Monday 8 January 23:47:25 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And what's the deeeal with Hitler, huh? Have you seen this guy? Have you heard about this guy? Amirite? Amirite? Wow, what a great audience [Fail]

Monday 8 January 23:32:25 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat. "OK, I'll kill my mother" [Creepy]

Monday 8 January 23:17:25 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not to be outdone by the Trump children Israeli Prime Minster Bibi Netanyahu's son gets caught at a strip club on tape telling the son of a gas executive: My dad helped your dad get a 20 billion shekel oil deal, give me 400 for a stripper [Dumbas

Monday 8 January 23:08:34 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are so many hookers in Thailand, they are *literally* falling from the sky (possible nsfw content on page) [Sad]

Monday 8 January 22:46:45 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Humpback whale allegedly saves 63-year old whale researcher from a 20-foot Tiger Shark while snorkeling [Cool]

Monday 8 January 22:20:05 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reason #3368 why the human race deserves the apocalypse: Extreme Scooting [Asinine]

Monday 8 January 22:02:34 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Avocado toast millennials, you have no idea how much you owe to ancient sloth poops [Interesting]

Monday 8 January 21:40:45 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Y'all Qaeda case dismissed with prejudice [News]

Monday 8 January 21:37:17 UTC 2018

News [link] [343 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Look at me…I'm as headless as a tuna in a tree [Weird]

Monday 8 January 21:16:45 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this backwards hat on someone interesting [Photoshop]

Monday 8 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Something tells me that this kid doesn't like homework, not sure what I just can't put my finger on it [Amusing]

Monday 8 January 20:50:05 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge: The court will now hear the prosecution's opening statement. You may proceed. Prosecution: Baaaaaaa [Strange]

Monday 8 January 20:35:54 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » @TheRichKidsofTehran may help explain why people are rioting in Iran [Awkward]

Monday 8 January 20:11:54 UTC 2018

Awkward [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone who reads Fark has dispatched a spider in the correct fashion. If it's a Farker, please step forward and grab your 15 minutes [Hero]

Monday 8 January 19:50:05 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "426." "In a row?" [Murica]

Monday 8 January 19:34:05 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dumpster fires in Washington under investigation. This is not a repeat from every day for the last year [Strange]

Monday 8 January 19:14:05 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two words you never want to be a part of: exploding testicle (possible NSFW content on page) [Scary]

Monday 8 January 18:50:05 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The magi that visited the baby Jesus weren't Christian…or Jewish. They were probably just men who studied…like scientists or witches [Interesting]

Monday 8 January 18:20:06 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [225 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Hope and Change

Monday 8 January 18:14:00 UTC 2018

Just stumbled across this in an 1889 newspaper: To those who love mathematics, here is a simple problem for you to figure out: A man purchased groceries to the amount of 34 cents. When he came to pay for the goods he found that he had only a $1 bill, a 3-cent piece and a 2-cent piece. The grocer, on … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rite Aid refuses to lend customer fire extinguisher to save his car from an engine fire. Now no one can travel back in time to prevent Biff from becoming president [Asinine]

Monday 8 January 17:50:05 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [189 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While it's not unusual for many teachers to work a second job, MD's Academy of the Holy Cross Catholic girl's high school decided they really could not see continuing to employ a teacher who was also white nationalist Richard Spencer'

Monday 8 January 17:34:02 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [99 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Multiplicative Idiocy

Monday 8 January 17:28:57 UTC 2018

Multiplicative IdiocyAn immutable law of design.View [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, almost 1700 suicide attempts and they're just now getting around to this? [Interesting]

Monday 8 January 17:20:05 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [188 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » The Oracle

Monday 8 January 17:12:24 UTC 2018

The OracleView [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cooper the Chihuahua dies in the land of plenty … of death, dies a big hero after saving family from highly venomous brown snake [Hero]

Monday 8 January 16:50:05 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pope Francis calls for a global nuclear weapons ban. Of course, then he'd be able to rule the world with the threat of his Papal Missiles [Interesting]

Monday 8 January 16:20:05 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [48 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Unauthorized Dwellings 4

Monday 8 January 15:56:32 UTC 2018

Houseboats have always been a prime source of contention as authorities try to police dwellings. The Amsterdam article is from 2016. The other news report hails from 1924.

Source.

Source.

UPDATE: now behind CHICAGO TRIBUNE paywall. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What the Battle of Endor teaches us about U.S. military engagements of the future. Things like short help is better than no help [Interesting]

Monday 8 January 15:50:04 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » My Maserati does one-eighty-five, flipped into traffic, glad I'm alive [Scary]

Monday 8 January 15:42:35 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Amateur porn star went looking for a hitman to kill her boyfriend. She had the misfortune of picking an FBI agent [Dumbass]

Monday 8 January 15:20:05 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The pope is now cool with breastfeeding in the Sistine Chapel. Infants only, presumably [Cool]

Monday 8 January 14:50:05 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Court rules FedEx is not certified mail [Obvious]

Monday 8 January 14:20:06 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what this woman is really looking at [Photoshop]

Monday 8 January 14:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After being laid off by corporate, Jim and Dwight fell on hard times and resorted to a life of crime [Amusing]

Monday 8 January 13:43:11 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [41 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Prisoners who escape a day before release

Monday 8 January 12:49:17 UTC 2018

The recurring weird news theme of prisoners who escape from jail a day before they're set to be released. Usually the escape isn't anything too complicated. They're on a minimum-security work detail, from which they simply walk away. But still, why leave if all you have to do is wait a day and be legally free? Because if caught again, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shiat Tower's on fire, yo [News]

Monday 8 January 12:43:09 UTC 2018

News [link] [166 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey big bomb, is that a stick of dynamite in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? (possible nsfw content on page) [Weird]

Monday 8 January 12:39:12 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yes, free two-day shipping is really convenient for you. But not so much for the environment [Sad]

Monday 8 January 12:10:11 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For the first time since the Civil War, a majority of the work on a Presidential construction project will be done by minorities. Bonus: This time they're getting paid [Cool]

Monday 8 January 11:53:10 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your future grandmother-in-law is none other than the Queen of England, so what do you get her for Christmas? Why a singing toy Hamster of course [Amusing]

Monday 8 January 11:25:13 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Marijuana banking: how to make store owners feel safe by not having to ask the grocer to make change for $30,000, while making bankers feel safe with only a 20% chance of starring in the next season of Orange is the New Black [Cool]

Monday 8 January 9:20:00 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [73 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » The Poor Kids These Days Don't Know Any Better

Monday 8 January 8:22:22 UTC 2018

bad actors bad singing disney disney channel singing venn diagram - 5533194752 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bad actors , bad singing , disney , disney channel , singing , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Need SPF Over 9000

Monday 8 January 8:22:18 UTC 2018

lotion spf summer sunburn sunscreen - 5001534976 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: lotion , spf , summer , sunburn , sunscreen Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Feline Dietary Preferences

Monday 8 January 8:22:13 UTC 2018

balanced cat coins design dietary eat eating expensive feline food nutrional preferences venn diagram - 2739479552 Graph by: cflwarrior Tagged: balanced , cat , coins , design , dietary , eat , eating , expensive , feline , food , nutrional , preferences , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Huh, Oh Well

Monday 8 January 8:22:08 UTC 2018

bottle FAIL Pie Chart shake well - 4789122048 Using it anyway. Graph by: Fun377 Tagged: bottle , FAIL , Pie Chart , shake well Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That All Depends on How You Do Your Grocery Shopping

Monday 8 January 8:22:00 UTC 2018

alone grocery pants Pie Chart scared - 6069576192 Graph by: (via Dog House Diaries) Tagged: alone , grocery , pants , Pie Chart , scared Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How often I remember

Monday 8 January 8:21:57 UTC 2018

food Heat hot metal microwave mouth remember scalding - 2300693760 Graph by: Sethor Tagged: food , Heat , hot , metal , microwave , mouth , remember , scalding Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Is It Over Yet?

Monday 8 January 8:21:56 UTC 2018

school internet home Pie Chart - 6995718400 Graph by: onedirection25629 Tagged: school , internet , home , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Lottery ticket sales

Monday 8 January 8:21:52 UTC 2018

lottery luck people sales win - 1768994560 LoL by: Lolhax Tagged: lottery , luck , people , sales , win Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Meant to Flag That Spot!

Monday 8 January 8:21:47 UTC 2018

accuracy computer Line Graph Minesweeper video game - 6218137856 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: accuracy , computer , Line Graph , Minesweeper , video game Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Cogency

Monday 8 January 8:21:46 UTC 2018

causation correlation implication logic - 6720432896 Source: Something of That Ilk Graph by: Unknown Tagged: causation , correlation , implication , logic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Funny Because it was AlgeBRA

Monday 8 January 8:21:44 UTC 2018

algebra calculator digital numbers math Pie Chart school - 4089282048 Graph by: LoneWolfTao Tagged: algebra , calculator , digital numbers , math , Pie Chart , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Personal Hygiene: Men vs Women

Monday 8 January 8:21:43 UTC 2018

best of week hygiene men shampoo women - 5779061504 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: best of week , hygiene , men , shampoo , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Darling, You Gotta Let Me Know

Monday 8 January 8:21:42 UTC 2018

flow chart should i stay or should i should i stay or should i go song trouble - 6301089024 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: flow chart , should i stay or should i , should i stay or should i go , song , trouble Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Re-Plotted: I Can't Do That, Dave

Monday 8 January 8:21:41 UTC 2018

auto play Music turn it off - 4980200704 Graph by: ChaoticEvilElfSorceress Tagged: auto play , Music , turn it off Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Town encourages children as young as 5 to smoke. Call For Philip Morris [Strange]

Monday 8 January 8:03:36 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Illinois just went through its 6th warmest year on record thanks to climate change [Scary]

Monday 8 January 8:01:20 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The story of the tattooist of Auschwitz [Hero]

Monday 8 January 7:30:38 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Misc

Monday 8 January 6:33:41 UTC 2018

Ulysses Grant had a horse named Jeff Davis. PORTUGUESE MARINE CORPS is an anagram of SINGAPORE SUPREME COURT. 15613 = 1 + 56 – 13 FOUR + SIX = TEN is the highest sum in English with no repeated letters. “It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” — William Blake [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Highly decorated Green Beret dies in Afghanistan. He enlisted shortly after moving to America from Riga, Latvia. He had been serving since 2005. Moment of silence please [Hero]

Monday 8 January 6:16:51 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're weird, I'm weird … this whole universe is friggin' WEIRD. Weird, isn't it? [Weird]

Monday 8 January 5:57:22 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School asks for fifty volunteers to stand in for absent fathers for a middle school breakfast. Six hundred men show up to honor the request [Hero]

Monday 8 January 5:32:41 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A 33-year-old man accused of sexual assault claims his 13-year-old victim was "making a move" on him [Sick]

Monday 8 January 5:04:51 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Consensual Presidency? (Update: Tweet has been deleted, but it's at the top of the Fark thread) [Fail]

Monday 8 January 4:47:43 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [213 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's so cold and unforgiving in Chicago even the rats are dying [Scary]

Monday 8 January 4:15:37 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's a little video of a father and son bonding, with a rope, on a frozen river, to rescue a deer [Sappy]

Monday 8 January 3:49:00 UTC 2018

Sappy [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Passengers still stuck at JFK Airport were able to bathe for free [Fail]

Monday 8 January 3:11:59 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New insect discovered in NJ [Amusing]

Monday 8 January 2:29:53 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There was a cold pipe from Nantucket [Sick]

Monday 8 January 1:16:50 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these spectacles on display [Photoshop]

Monday 8 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No Pants Day 2018 – London tube style [Amusing]

Monday 8 January 0:35:45 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Archive

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