John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Man spends seven hours filling up shopping cart with thousands of dollars worth of products, then while wheeling it out the door it gets stuck in snow and tips over. Bonus: He drops his wallet running away. Double bonus: 'Yeah, I'm an idiot&#

Saturday 6 January 23:19:06 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Entitled snowflakes refuse to tear down a treehouse and hope the SCOTUS will review their appeal. Here's the kicker: the article does not involved an HOA or Millennials, but the Florida tag yields to the Dumbass tag [Dumbass]

Saturday 6 January 22:13:49 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Illinois introduces some civility to divorce. This is important because it's easy to let emotion get in the way of… YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE THE DOG, LINDA [Spiffy]

Saturday 6 January 21:54:09 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So now that everyone's caught back up on work from the holidays, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz 12/23-12/29 I Still Have Leftover Turkey Edition [Sappy]

Saturday 6 January 21:46:38 UTC 2018

Sappy [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When seeking insurance money to renovate your house, you can light a match, or you can Airbnb it to a 23-year-old on New Year's Eve. As long as you sternly specify "No Parties," it will all look totally legit [Obvious]

Saturday 6 January 21:39:14 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » American pot industry's reaction to Sessions' moves on legalized weed has quickly gone from "everybody panic" to "well, you know that's just like, your opinion, man" [Interesting]

Saturday 6 January 21:16:10 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The process for renewing a dog license begins with a letter and ends with a criminal record [PSA]

Saturday 6 January 21:11:54 UTC 2018

PSA [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this submersible keg [Photoshop]

Saturday 6 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How to explain science to people who aren't scientists. Here comes the science [Interesting]

Saturday 6 January 20:53:54 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Apt

Saturday 6 January 20:49:28 UTC 2018

The letters in OVERSUFFICIENTLY can be rearranged to spell the English number names for 1, 4, 5, 7, 10, 14, 15, 40, 45, 47, 50, 51, 57, 70, and 74. The letters in A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE can spell 1, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, 17, 18, 19, 30, 31, 33, 35, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Contrary to the claims of a recently published USA Today article, libraries are not about to disappear. If only the authors had a place they could go to get help with their research [Fail]

Saturday 6 January 20:31:10 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Godspeed, John Young [Sad]

Saturday 6 January 19:45:54 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man walks dog … for 6,200 miles [Cool]

Saturday 6 January 18:01:23 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to live in the healthiest city in the United States? Hope you like living surrounded by people who have really large families, and never drink alcohol or coffee, smoke, or use drugs [Interesting]

Saturday 6 January 16:09:10 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [175 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The fastest way to defog your windshield outside the lemon juice trick [Interesting]

Saturday 6 January 16:07:37 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The bad news is unless you live in Florida you didn't win the $450 million Mega Millions jackpot last night. The good news is that tonight's Powerball is up to $570 million [Followup]

Saturday 6 January 15:57:06 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Durr hurr, it's cold outside so that means global warming is a myth." Meanwhile in Australia, it's so hot the roads are literally melting [Scary]

Saturday 6 January 15:56:07 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [255 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's teenagers are not only listening to music you don't like, wearing clothes you think look stupid, and using slang you don't understand, they're also not boinking, smoking, or using drugs like you used to, either [Interesting]

Saturday 6 January 15:53:13 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you've misplaced your miniature horse, Florida authorities would really like a word with you [Florida]

Saturday 6 January 15:11:12 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to make your pancakes the hit of the household? Most websites would make you click a link to learn the one secret trick, but here we'll just tell you: use coconut oil. (But feel free to click the link to find out why) [Spiffy]

Saturday 6 January 15:09:10 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No, living in cold weather does not make you smarter because if you were smarter you wouldn't be living in cold weather [Obvious]

Saturday 6 January 14:50:53 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ex-prisoners talk about their most brutal cellmate: "I told him J.R.R. Tolkien didn't invent elves. He told me to close the door. I knew he wanted to fight" [Scary]

Saturday 6 January 14:30:04 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Baltimore, the schools are closed for lack of heat. Which means that kids don't get to eat. Skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner, children will be getting thinner [Sad]

Saturday 6 January 14:06:56 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this good boy and hero [Photoshop]

Saturday 6 January 14:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Planes collide on Canada airport tarmac. Airport communications systems overwhelmed by apologies [Obvious]

Saturday 6 January 13:51:05 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [19 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Smoking Ants

Saturday 6 January 13:23:50 UTC 2018

The earliest report I can find of people in the Persian Gulf smoking ants is the one below, from 1994. But news stories have continued to report this practice. This one from 2008 explains that it's specifically the red samsun ant that's smoked, and explains, "Smoking the red ant gives a similar sensation to smoking marijuana and sniffing glue because … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It takes a village to rescue a trapped kitten on Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 6 January 13:00:00 UTC 2018

Caturday [link] [595 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Take the party elsewhere: Woman arrested after taking drinks from bar, dancing on stage [Florida]

Saturday 6 January 11:37:28 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump reads a book [News]

Saturday 6 January 11:33:13 UTC 2018

News [link] [297 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #345

Saturday 6 January 11:16:00 UTC 2018

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Memphis mega-church pastor admits he molested a minor days before his 'True Love Waits' workshop" [Creepy]

Saturday 6 January 10:57:26 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [79 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » You're All Acting Like Animals

Saturday 6 January 10:24:56 UTC 2018

democrats repubicans animals politics - 6720571136 Graph by: Ryan Tagged: democrats , repubicans , animals , politics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Nice to Dream

Saturday 6 January 10:24:55 UTC 2018

arts and crafts interwebs pinterest venn diagram - 5970597376 Graph by: Mhauke88 Tagged: arts and crafts , interwebs , pinterest , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons Kids Listen to Classic Rock

Saturday 6 January 10:24:51 UTC 2018

classic rock Guitar Hero Music video game - 1531771136 LoL by: i_generally_amaze_myself Tagged: classic rock , Guitar Hero , Music , video game Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time Spent Washing the Balls: None

Saturday 6 January 10:24:50 UTC 2018

pie charts beer pong graphs funny - 7614861568 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pie charts , beer pong , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why people use free trials

Saturday 6 January 10:24:45 UTC 2018

free Pie Chart product trials try use - 3036275200 Graph by: DonutsRGoood Tagged: free , Pie Chart , product , trials , try , use Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Brain, Y U No Let Me Sleep!?

Saturday 6 January 10:24:43 UTC 2018

Pie Chart school sleep weekends Y U NO - 6622341888 Graph by: jtest27 Tagged: Pie Chart , school , sleep , weekends , Y U NO Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Do You Think This Is a Game?!

Saturday 6 January 10:24:42 UTC 2018

salary basketball football - 7753405696 According to this chart, yes. Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: salary , basketball , football Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Y U No Use Memes Properly!?

Saturday 6 January 10:24:41 UTC 2018

college memes misused venn diagram y u no meme - 6343310336 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: college memes , misused , venn diagram , y u no meme Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Likelihood of Being Splashed

Saturday 6 January 10:24:40 UTC 2018

Bar Graph pool pooping shamu splash toliet - 6304346368 Graph by: ProfessorOak Tagged: Bar Graph , pool , pooping , shamu , splash , toliet Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Uses of "click here if your browser doesn't automatically redirect you"

Saturday 6 January 10:24:37 UTC 2018

automatic browser click computer internet Pie Chart redirect - 3287417344 Graph by: Metu Tagged: automatic , browser , click , computer , internet , Pie Chart , redirect Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » At Least I'll Never Run Out of Stone Pickaxes

Saturday 6 January 10:24:34 UTC 2018

minecraft pick axe Pie Chart video games - 6585047296 Graph by: RPO Tagged: minecraft , pick axe , Pie Chart , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Cricket? Lol, That's a Bug, Not a Sport

Saturday 6 January 10:24:30 UTC 2018

america britain bug cricket sports - 6031424000 Graph by: (via www.marriedtothesea.com) Tagged: america , britain , bug , cricket , sports Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Short and Sassy, and Sanitary!

Saturday 6 January 10:24:26 UTC 2018

attraction food hair long hair men Pie Chart - 5091743488 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: attraction , food , hair , long hair , men , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Well, That's Something

Saturday 6 January 10:24:25 UTC 2018

Pie Chart procrastination self referential today - 6436164864 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Pie Chart , procrastination , self referential , today Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That's Not True. That's Impossible!

Saturday 6 January 10:24:23 UTC 2018

Cheezburger Image 6161135616 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Ten Artists Favorite Colors

Saturday 6 January 10:24:22 UTC 2018

artists favorite color painting Pie Chart - 6296473088 Graph by: (via Arthur Buxton) Tagged: artists , favorite color , painting , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who's Got the Money for That?

Saturday 6 January 10:24:21 UTC 2018

date night Movie Popcorn mortgage - 6658727424 Graph by: buckles_b (via Bite) Tagged: date night , Movie , Popcorn , mortgage Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't You Dare Apply It to This Chart!

Saturday 6 January 10:24:17 UTC 2018

flow chart Rule 34 rules rules of the internet - 5183658752 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: flow chart , Rule 34 , rules , rules of the internet Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Drunk vs Funny

Saturday 6 January 10:24:15 UTC 2018

drunk Line Graph - 6458571008 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: drunk , Line Graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Beheading vs. Balding

Saturday 6 January 10:24:12 UTC 2018

balding beheading middle aged middle ages - 6256729600 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: balding , beheading , middle aged , middle ages Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » There Is Always Some Truth In Jest

Saturday 6 January 10:24:11 UTC 2018

graphs how it works infographic jokes pie charts - 5011823360 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: graphs , how it works , infographic , jokes , pie charts Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who we're lying to

Saturday 6 January 10:24:09 UTC 2018

Bar Graph bishop dad dentist lying mom ourselves - 2916913920 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , bishop , dad , dentist , lying , mom , ourselves Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tough guy gets attacked by vicious bob-kitty [Florida]

Saturday 6 January 9:47:14 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Speed camera van set on fire. Suspects include everybody [Obvious]

Saturday 6 January 9:39:44 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To the befuddlement of the Copenhagen police the world's most expensive vodka bottle has been found but the vodka is gone [Followup]

Saturday 6 January 8:05:40 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bad guy with a knife stopped by good guy with a chair [Dumbass]

Saturday 6 January 7:51:57 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline of the day [Creepy]

Saturday 6 January 7:26:48 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Black unemployment rate lowest it's been since 1972 [Spiffy]

Saturday 6 January 7:10:41 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Masturbating man's meth mess [Stupid]

Saturday 6 January 6:52:35 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember the police chief that blew his arm off with fireworks? He's back, and this time he was trying to get a minor to light his bottle rocket, if you know what I mean [Creepy]

Saturday 6 January 6:14:56 UTC 2018

Creepy [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "What are you going to do about it, shoot me?" [Obvious]

Saturday 6 January 5:49:54 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman rescued from Foulweather Bluff, says she had no idea conditions could go downhill so quickly [Ironic]

Saturday 6 January 4:43:46 UTC 2018

Ironic [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Police say they have 'massive concerns' over the wellbeing of a man who was sent flying by a car – which he then crawled into moments later" (with video) [Scary]

Saturday 6 January 3:46:44 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man marries his wife's daughter. Not his ex-wife's. Bigamy charges may be the least of his problems [Dumbass]

Saturday 6 January 3:16:44 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge rules playing Mormon music is not enough probable cause for a drug search, sales of the Tabernacle Choir's Greatest Hits skyrocket [Obvious]

Saturday 6 January 2:53:46 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trucker measures 12' 6" overpass with 12' 9" semi [Dumbass]

Saturday 6 January 2:46:44 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » United States announces that it will not be competing in the 'Synchronized Aerial Intimidation' event at the 2018 Olympics [Spiffy]

Saturday 6 January 2:33:03 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know you are having a bad day when: A) You have bottles of prescription medicine, and a growler of alcohol in your car, B) You lead the police on a 118 MPH chase and they catch you, C) There is a dead body in your trunk, or D) All of the above [D

Saturday 6 January 2:16:44 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cognitive dissonance, drunk driving edition [Florida]

Saturday 6 January 2:15:40 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman plans to marry Tetris after relationship with calculator breaks down. Apparently, the problems kept multiplying and after a while things just didn't add up [Strange]

Saturday 6 January 2:05:44 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sheriff investigates itself and finds no mistreatment was occurring at its jail. Also claims detainees have cell keys and can leave at any time. Seriously [Murica]

Saturday 6 January 1:46:44 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Manatees take refuge from the cold in Florida. Wake up drunk and naked on a couch at a stranger's house [Florida]

Saturday 6 January 1:24:54 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Foot. Long. French Fries. TAKE MY MONEY 💵 💵 💵 [Cool]

Saturday 6 January 1:19:40 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man hijacks train, thinks he's the Juggernaut [Dumbass]

Saturday 6 January 1:16:44 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this waterfall [Photoshop]

Saturday 6 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In other news, there actually were some restaurants in South Florida without health code violations [Florida]

Saturday 6 January 0:46:44 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman sues hospital, doctor after experiencing severe case of clamps [Fail]

Saturday 6 January 0:20:41 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hedgehog goes on a diet. This is not about Ron Jeremy's New Year resolutions [Silly]

Saturday 6 January 0:16:44 UTC 2018

Silly [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Archive

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