John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Finally caving in to a FOIA request, the Air Force has quietly released a glowing airmen-produced film about the A-10 that It had been trying to suppress [Spiffy]

Wednesday 3 January 23:50:04 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [171 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well at least he wasn't standing on the wing at 20,000 feet, looking in through the window, during a thunderstorm [Dumbass]

Wednesday 3 January 23:20:06 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The world's most expensive vodak was stolen. Estimated at $1.3 million, mostly due to the bottle [Sad]

Wednesday 3 January 22:50:05 UTC 2018

Sad [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Paulie issues a hit on Weinstein. "Oh, yeah. That son-of-a-b*tch better hope that he goes (to jail), because if he doesn't, he'll have to meet me, and I will kill that motherf—–," Sorvino said in the TMZ interview. "It's re

Wednesday 3 January 22:20:05 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Forever 21 cash registers were pwned forover 21 weeks [Fail]

Wednesday 3 January 22:20:05 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In the days before millennials killed radio, stations could afford to own their own traffic helicopters. Reporters patrolled the skies during rush hour to notify listeners of backups, then pitched hamburgers, breath mints, sitcoms, and boner pills [O

Wednesday 3 January 21:50:04 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [133 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this robot celebrating with a drink [Photoshop]

Wednesday 3 January 21:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bill & Hillary Clinton's house ablaze, probably not with marital passion [NewsFlash]

Wednesday 3 January 20:49:56 UTC 2018

NewsFlash [link] [313 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hindu monk tows van around with his penis. Not as efficient as AAA, but much more entertaining [Weird]

Wednesday 3 January 20:47:30 UTC 2018

Weird [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Detroit now 12.5% less stabby than before [Spiffy]

Wednesday 3 January 20:20:05 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A 'security expert' warns that hacked sexbots could murder people. Declines to say if he recently watched Ghost in the Shell or WestWorld (possibly Not Safe For Work image of a sex toy) [Obvious]

Wednesday 3 January 19:50:04 UTC 2018

Obvious [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Going through life covered in shiat and throwing fireballs from your hands is no way to go through life son [Asinine]

Wednesday 3 January 19:20:06 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wow, it's cold. "HOW. COLD. IS IT?" It's so cold, Canadian towns are cracking open [Scary]

Wednesday 3 January 18:50:04 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In solidarity with the majority of American voters, turns out Trump didn't want to be elected president [News]

Wednesday 3 January 18:22:12 UTC 2018

News [link] [594 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A Tesla Model 3 was driven from LA to New York in just over 50 hours by two dudes with huge bladders [Interesting]

Wednesday 3 January 18:20:05 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Carrie Underwood after receiving 40 stitches in her face looks like…Carrie Underwood [Followup]

Wednesday 3 January 18:10:12 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Black and White

Wednesday 3 January 18:10:04 UTC 2018

By Friedrich Köhnlein. White to mate in two moves. SelectClick for Answer 1. Qa8! and Black can’t evade the rook. From Tägliche Rundschau, 1904. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are people who don't quite sweep snow off the top of their vehicle, then there's this guy with 6 feet of snow piled on the top of his transport, hitting power lines as he drives along [Dumbass]

Wednesday 3 January 17:50:04 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman wants cab driver fired after he left her son on a rural road in -37 C weather, which is the temperature at which most Canadians will start to consider putting on a hat [Dumbass]

Wednesday 3 January 17:20:05 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OK so everyone here participating in Dry January or "Drynuary" or the "Dryathlon" raise your hands… *looks around*…. Hellooooo, anyone? Bueller….Bueller, Bueller. Anyone? Anyone? (*crickets*) [Fake]

Wednesday 3 January 16:50:05 UTC 2018

Fake [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That's right, Florida. 0.1" of snow Shut her down, boys [Florida]

Wednesday 3 January 16:20:22 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Joshua Boyle, the Canadian man held hostage by the Taliban for five years, appears to have picked up some bad habits from his captors, now faces 15 domestic violence-related criminal charges [Followup]

Wednesday 3 January 15:50:04 UTC 2018

Followup [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I lived on nothing but beer for a week, and survived." Not exactly "Weasels ripped my flesh" [Interesting]

Wednesday 3 January 15:20:05 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [71 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Cherophobia

Wednesday 3 January 15:05:44 UTC 2018

Back in September 2017, artist Noëmi Lakmaier lay still for nine hours as a team of balloon assistants and a "bondage engineer" attached 20,000 balloons to her immobilised body. Eventually she achieved lift-off, but since she was inside the Sydney Opera House, she didn't float away.

This was the second time she performed this piece, having first performed it in … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Peruvian bus hurtles over 'devil's' cliff, kills at least 485. What kind of bus was tha – oh… Typo, or click-bait? (Update: they fixed it. Screenshot in Boobies) [Facepalm]

Wednesday 3 January 14:51:04 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fixer Upper star knocker uppered [Sappy]

Wednesday 3 January 14:50:04 UTC 2018

Sappy [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Project to turn water tower into giant hamburger: "I think it's kind of silly actually" [Silly]

Wednesday 3 January 14:22:24 UTC 2018

Silly [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this submerged sparkler [Photoshop]

Wednesday 3 January 14:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's too cold out – remember that dogs get cold too. Here's a happy ice rescue for your Woofday Wednesday [Hero]

Wednesday 3 January 14:00:00 UTC 2018

Hero [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you live on the east coast, get ready for the Bomb Cyclone coming Thursday. Also, the gas, milk and bread cyclone to happen Wednesday [News]

Wednesday 3 January 13:54:20 UTC 2018

News [link] [168 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Eating ketchup may cause Crohn's disease, especially if you swallow the little foil packet whole [Strange]

Wednesday 3 January 12:12:24 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [51 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #344

Wednesday 3 January 11:32:00 UTC 2018

Sleeping couple happy to be awakened by cigarette parade.

Original ad here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Todd-truckin' Track Palin granted house arrest as long as he avoids his entire family [Murica]

Wednesday 3 January 11:31:41 UTC 2018

Murica [link] [83 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Does this Graph remind you of the game, "Simon"?

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:55 UTC 2018

clever comedy games graphjam - 1688190720 LoL by: ChaosD1 Tagged: clever , comedy , games , graphjam Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Or If There's Only a Little Milk in the Carton

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:54 UTC 2018

bowl cereal clean flow chart food milk wash - 4974734080 Instant bowl! Graph by: (via twiceshy.bitedaily.com) Tagged: bowl , cereal , clean , flow chart , food , milk , wash Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When The TV Breaks

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:53 UTC 2018

graphjam situational humor TV - 1713752832 LoL by: jstar1223 Tagged: graphjam , situational humor , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » how acceptable speedos are

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:47 UTC 2018

acceptable not Pie Chart speedo - 3167588352 Graph by: xybob Tagged: acceptable , not , Pie Chart , speedo Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: Born in Yukon, +9001% Frost Resistance

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:43 UTC 2018

elder scrolls Maps morrowind oblivion over 9000 Skyrim - 5564252160 Graph by: vaderdude Tagged: elder scrolls , Maps , morrowind , oblivion , over 9000 , Skyrim Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Infographics Explained… With Legos!

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:42 UTC 2018

data demonstration explanation infographic legos - 6450379264 Graph by: (via Hot Butter Studio) Tagged: data , demonstration , explanation , infographic , legos Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Artist Chart

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:41 UTC 2018

artists best of week flow chart painter poor - 5820049408 I'm a Microsoft Painter, and darn proud of it. Graph by: john boy (via infothreads.blogspot.com) Tagged: artists , best of week , flow chart , painter , poor Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Can't It Wait?

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:40 UTC 2018

homework school procrastination Pie Chart - 7038864896 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: homework , school , procrastination , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Walmart's Motorized Shopping Carts

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:38 UTC 2018

carts exercise hilarious motorized need obese people teenagers use venn diagram Walmart wal mart - 2787538176 Graph by: king_myste Tagged: carts , exercise , hilarious , motorized , need , obese , people , teenagers , use , venn diagram , Walmart , wal mart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Anything But That

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:32 UTC 2018

kids internet scare Pie Chart - 6940874240 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: kids , internet , scare , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Take a Hint

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:30 UTC 2018

take a hint talking venn diagram - 6345599488 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: take a hint , talking , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Decline of Western Communication

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:28 UTC 2018

facepalm grammer picard Pie Chart reflexive - 6480940032 Graph by: goddambatman Tagged: facepalm , grammer , picard , Pie Chart , reflexive Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Secret To Success Is To Keep Giving Yourself Challenges

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:20 UTC 2018

Bar Graph brave movies pixar ratatouille up walle - 6076052224 Graph by: Judge Smails Tagged: Bar Graph , brave , movies , pixar , ratatouille , up , walle Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Don't Know Her

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:18 UTC 2018

forever alone friends relationships Pie Chart - 5238542336 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: forever alone , friends , relationships , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons To Start Waking Through More than Tall Grass

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:17 UTC 2018

Pokémon video games - 7857885696 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Pokémon , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why Does That Exist?

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:13 UTC 2018

swiss army knife toothpick - 5234522624 Graph by: yumTako Tagged: swiss army knife , toothpick Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What is Community?

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:12 UTC 2018

community Bar Graph interests television - 7904421376 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: community , Bar Graph , interests , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Am I Being a Creep?

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:08 UTC 2018

comment decisions facebook flow chart - 5120478464 Graph by: andime Tagged: comment , decisions , facebook , flow chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don’t Do Anything Fun or Ambitious and You Should Sleep Just Fine

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:07 UTC 2018

hacks idiot friends sleep infographic - 6977786112 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: hacks , idiot friends , sleep , infographic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Must Listen to the Beat of Your Circadian Rhythms

Wednesday 3 January 11:06:06 UTC 2018

school tired sleep - 7356379136 Graph by: SamCrazykid Tagged: school , tired , sleep Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Twitter cracks down on Nazi bots. *whisperwhisper* Sorry, correction: Twitter cracks down on the bot that exposed racist Nazi bots [Facepalm]

Wednesday 3 January 10:18:41 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 2017 was the first year that nobody died from commercial air travel since its invention [Spiffy]

Wednesday 3 January 8:28:13 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 30,000 federal employees earn more than any governor, increased by 165 percent between fiscal 2010 and 2016. Thanks Obama [Asinine]

Wednesday 3 January 7:33:54 UTC 2018

Asinine [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Last Chance to Vote – Voting open until Monday January 8, 2018 at 1pm Eastern Time – Headline of the Year – Tab Contest Finals – Politics [HOTY]

Wednesday 3 January 7:24:21 UTC 2018

HOTY [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Last Chance to Vote – Voting open until Monday January 8, 2018 at 1pm Eastern Time – Headline of the Year – Tab Contest Finals – Sports [HOTY]

Wednesday 3 January 7:23:38 UTC 2018

HOTY [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Last Chance to Vote – Voting open until Monday January 8, 2018 at 1pm Eastern Time – Headline of the Year – Tab Contest Finals – Geek [HOTY]

Wednesday 3 January 7:23:04 UTC 2018

HOTY [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Last Chance to Vote – Voting open until Monday January 8, 2018 at 1pm Eastern Time – Headline of the Year – Tab Contest Finals – Discussion [HOTY]

Wednesday 3 January 7:22:35 UTC 2018

HOTY [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Last Chance to Vote – Voting open until Monday January 8, 2018 at 1pm Eastern Time – Headline of the Year – Tab Contest Finals – Entertainment [HOTY]

Wednesday 3 January 7:22:05 UTC 2018

HOTY [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Last Chance to Vote – Voting open until Monday January 8, 2018 at 1pm Eastern Time – Headline of the Year – Tab Contest Finals – Business [HOTY]

Wednesday 3 January 7:21:13 UTC 2018

HOTY [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Professor, how many posts will it take before someone tries to deflect from the topic of this article? [Awkward]

Wednesday 3 January 6:37:09 UTC 2018

Awkward [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A look at what happens when a former high rolling antifa insider turns police informant [Scary]

Wednesday 3 January 6:01:03 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [160 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » One Two Three

Wednesday 3 January 6:00:05 UTC 2018

This is in my notes with the words “ridiculous escape”: An 1889 article in Charles Dickens’ All the Year Round tells how Italian humanist Celio Secondo Curione outsmarted the Inquisition: In my new prison I had been confined for a week, with huge pieces of wood chained to my feet, where I was favoured with a sudden inspiration from Heaven. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have you spent the last 20 years playing video games in your mom's basement and are looking for a change? The Air Force has some good news for you [Facepalm]

Wednesday 3 January 5:57:06 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A party, less than an ounce of weed which nobody admits owning. That'll be 63 arrests for weed possession [Facepalm]

Wednesday 3 January 5:15:55 UTC 2018

Facepalm [link] [157 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What could draw Drew across the Ohio border during subzero temps? Hint: it starts with "cheap" and ends with "liquor" [Interesting]

Wednesday 3 January 4:00:44 UTC 2018

Interesting [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Connecticut State Lottery holds a do-over after proving to be as bad at math as its customers [Fail]

Wednesday 3 January 3:40:20 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Security guards shoot two people dead at The Club. See, that's why I just stick with Lojack [Florida]

Wednesday 3 January 3:23:12 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Running a stop sign with 2x the legal limit of alcohol in your blood is no way to celebrate New Years, Your Honor [Dumbass]

Wednesday 3 January 3:06:03 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When it's cold outside the best way to warm up your Porsche in the morning A) park indoors B) block heater C) Fire [Stupid]

Wednesday 3 January 2:48:55 UTC 2018

Stupid [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If this is gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my venture capital into mashed potatoes (NSFW) [Weeners]

Wednesday 3 January 2:31:46 UTC 2018

Weeners [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Marina Del Lex", "Luthorville", "Otisburg"….OTISBURG???? [Scary]

Wednesday 3 January 2:30:52 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Breaking news from 2004: Boston to break another 1918 curse. But not in a good way [Cool]

Wednesday 3 January 2:14:38 UTC 2018

Cool [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Inmate claims drugs hidden in his rectum were not his, judicial panel says GTFO [Dumbass]

Wednesday 3 January 2:03:57 UTC 2018

Dumbass [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Storm Eleanor now a 'risk to life' after sending lighthouses in northern Ireland into orbit, which will surely crash back to Earth as they approach England [Scary]

Wednesday 3 January 2:03:09 UTC 2018

Scary [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best 2017 cancer news? CAR-T cell therapy [Spiffy]

Wednesday 3 January 1:57:29 UTC 2018

Spiffy [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study reveals teen girls feel immense pressure to text nude photos. "I sent my boyfriend a naked pic after he insisted and was going to break up with me. Now he is threatening to send it to everyone if I don't have sex with him, I'm only

Wednesday 3 January 1:47:05 UTC 2018

Sick [link] [133 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gas prices rise fifteen cents because of . . . *spins the Wheel of Excuses* . . . cold weather [Florida]

Wednesday 3 January 1:40:20 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Free hot dog on the bumper of a pickup truck keeps a man in Texas from receiving a traffic ticket, brings back memories of Cheech & Chong's 'Up In Smoke' [Strange]

Wednesday 3 January 1:23:12 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stress balls are great for relieving stress. But not by throwing them at your colleagues in anger, Chief Constable [Fail]

Wednesday 3 January 1:06:03 UTC 2018

Fail [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this sweet scene [Photoshop]

Wednesday 3 January 1:00:01 UTC 2018

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey, free chickens [Amusing]

Wednesday 3 January 0:48:55 UTC 2018

Amusing [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » South Korean courts confirm old law that massage parlors: a) should not perform sexual acts, b) are ok to perform sexual acts, or c) should only be owned and operated by the blind [Strange]

Wednesday 3 January 0:21:46 UTC 2018

Strange [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Free cats trigger volunteer hoarder rescue [Florida]

Wednesday 3 January 0:14:38 UTC 2018

Florida [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Archive

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