John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Thai man arrives home seven months after being 'declared dead and cremated'. Well that made for one awkward Christmas [Strange]

Friday 29 December 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Driver finds a suitcase filled with human bones in woods on the side of a remote Georgia road, is initially reluctant to report it because, hey, free bones and a suitcase [Creepy]

Friday 29 December 23:20:05 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police investigate massive brawl at Waffle House. This is not a repeat of every other Waffle House story ever [Stupid]

Friday 29 December 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anonymous letter: "[E]xtremely disrespectful, rude, selfish not to decorate a house … for the holidays." Home owner: My mom always helped decorate our house for the holidays, but she just died from cancer [Dumbass]

Friday 29 December 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [198 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trendy expensive $7 per-slice bacon is now trendy because it's expensive [Murica]

Friday 29 December 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man poses for picture of himself with stacks of cash, minutes later the inevitable happens [Dumbass]

Friday 29 December 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iron Photoshop Challenge: Help Steven Seagal out with a better cover for his new book- The Way Of The Shadow Wolves: The Deep State And The Hijacking Of America [Photoshop]

Friday 29 December 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 4-year-old girl gets served a real drink instead of a 'mocktail' and ends up with a hangover. Okay, lets come up with her future Fark handle [Fail]

Friday 29 December 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gamer threatens to send cops to other gamer's house over a bet. Second gamer gives wrong address. Cops arrive and shoot a non-gamer [Sad]

Friday 29 December 20:45:38 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [373 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As God is my witness, I thought iguanas could fly [Florida]

Friday 29 December 20:15:38 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stealing copper wire can be an electrifying experience [Sad]

Friday 29 December 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Bloody Bargain

Friday 29 December 19:41:33 UTC 2017

During Henry Stanley’s 1886 Emin Pasha Relief Expedition to the interior of Africa, naturalist James S. Jameson allegedly paid a group of cannibals to kill and eat a young girl so that he sketch the act. According to his interpreter, Assad Farran, Jameson afterward took the sketches to his tent, finished them in watercolors, and then “showed these and many … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There can be only one [Sick]

Friday 29 December 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dave Barry asks the most important question of 2017: Did that really happen? [Amusing]

Friday 29 December 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man rigs his door to electrocute his pregnant wife and changes his Facebook status to "widowed" before anything happens to her. Shockingly, his cunning plan fails [Florida]

Friday 29 December 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Website claims best sub sandwiches are made by a grocery store. Author obviously hasn't ever eaten a sub sandwich elsewhere [Florida]

Friday 29 December 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [225 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A picture is worth a thousand lies [Amusing]

Friday 29 December 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police: Please don't celebrate New Year's by randomly shooting at the sky [Florida]

Friday 29 December 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [51 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Unicorn Food Phenomenon

Friday 29 December 16:24:04 UTC 2017

One of the curious food trends of 2017: transforming normal food into unicorn food by rainbowfying it.

Unicorn Cereal from Kelloggs

Unicorn Frappuccino from Starbucks

Unicorn Tears Gin Liqueur from Firebox

Unicorn Macarons from Mac Lab Bakery

Unicorn Pizza from Industry Kitchen

Unicorn Bread from El Bolillo Bakery [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bartenders reveal the drinks you should never order at a bar. Oddly enough, a beer is number 7 [Stupid]

Friday 29 December 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [470 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » President Donald Trump appeared to know little, if anything, about international trade deals during an exchange with German Chancellor Angela Merkel in March this year. White House officials reportedly characterized the talk as "humiliating"

Friday 29 December 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [180 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you blow yourself up cooking homemade fireworks where you can buy legal fireworks, you might be from Alabama [Dumbass]

Friday 29 December 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Snowy owl escapes prison [Sappy]

Friday 29 December 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 9-year-old boy with a BB gun stops a man from stealing his dad's truck. Case not likely to end up in a pellet court [Hero]

Friday 29 December 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this rope levitation trick [Photoshop]

Friday 29 December 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » United Airlines: "We drag passengers off our planes." Alaska Air: "Hold my beer and mukluks" [Asinine]

Friday 29 December 13:50:06 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's 31 below zero on Mount Washington, so we sent a guy up with a pot of boiling water to dump out and turn to snow, and filmed it. Put your mittens on and click [Cool]

Friday 29 December 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Providence man popped over pile of pot by police who proceed to pinch his pick-up for possible proceedings [Misc]

Friday 29 December 12:54:10 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » U.S. hospitals are suffering a major shortage of IV bags and saline products. Wanna guess where one of the biggest U.S. suppliers of said products has manufacturing plants? [Dumbass]

Friday 29 December 11:21:51 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [180 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Death of a Fly

Friday 29 December 11:09:00 UTC 2017

The product. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finnebrogue has saved our bacon [Hero]

Friday 29 December 10:37:11 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [30 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Snack Food

Friday 29 December 10:06:47 UTC 2017

cheap expensive food healthy invention McDonald's organic quick snacks - 2019762944 Graph by: bluewolf482 Tagged: cheap , expensive , food , healthy , invention , McDonald's , organic , quick , snacks Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Scariest Thing Ever!

Friday 29 December 10:06:46 UTC 2017

bbc doctor who equation gas masks scary - 5780486912 Graph by: mprosk Tagged: bbc , doctor who , equation , gas masks , scary Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chances of when you will figure out a good comeback

Friday 29 December 10:06:45 UTC 2017

comeback in bed slam - 1466897152 LoL by: Unknown Tagged: comeback , in bed , slam Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Should I go to Class Today?

Friday 29 December 10:06:43 UTC 2017

attendance classmates discussions drool drunk FAIL flow chart grade halo no pants pass professor score screwed tape recorder test yes - 3339988224 A handy flowchart for undergraduates. Graph by: fishmalk Tagged: attendance , classmates , discussions , drool , drunk , FAIL , flow chart , grade , halo , no , pants , pass , professor , score , screwed , tape recorder , test , yes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When My Class Pays Attention

Friday 29 December 10:06:41 UTC 2017

class Movie attention teachers - 7162316544 Graph by: CrashedMac73 Tagged: class , Movie , attention , teachers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Just Wait

Friday 29 December 10:06:33 UTC 2017

best of week draco malfoy Harry Potter Movie mudbloods Pie Chart - 6082880512 Graph by: Potterheadforever Tagged: best of week , draco malfoy , Harry Potter , Movie , mudbloods , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's a Vicious Cycle

Friday 29 December 10:06:30 UTC 2017

call of duty vicious cycle video games - 6762802688 I see it happen every year… Graph by: Slyde1052 Tagged: call of duty , vicious cycle , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But You've Earned it

Friday 29 December 10:06:29 UTC 2017

papers school pie charts - 7940467456 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: papers , school , pie charts Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just a Little More

Friday 29 December 10:06:28 UTC 2017

bleeding ears Line Graph sound TV volume - 6185497088 Graph by: Indomitus Tagged: bleeding , ears , Line Graph , sound , TV , volume Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Psychology of the Breaking Bad Home Infographic

Friday 29 December 10:06:26 UTC 2017

breaking bad psychology television - 7818891008 Graph by: neomam (via www.terrysfabrics.co.uk) Tagged: breaking bad , psychology , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » So What? Canada's a Freeloader

Friday 29 December 10:06:24 UTC 2017

Canada freddie freeloader infographic kilometers kind of blue miles davis so what - 4282930176 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Canada , freddie freeloader , infographic , kilometers , kind of blue , miles davis , so what Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And That's Just the Free Samples

Friday 29 December 10:06:22 UTC 2017

costco food free samples money - 6106267392 Graph by: MultiLockOn Tagged: costco , food , free samples , money Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Pray She Doesn't Learn "LOL"

Friday 29 December 10:06:15 UTC 2017

mom Pie Chart sms texts - 5203747328 No seriously, who taught my mom LOL? I bet it was my sister. Graph by: pierewiet Tagged: mom , Pie Chart , sms , texts Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not Too Close; You'll Look Like a Pig

Friday 29 December 10:06:07 UTC 2017

greedy Pie Chart pizza slices - 5016601856 If you push them all together it usually ends up looking like you ate more than half. If you leave a couple of little spaces, you'll look like the "Good Guy Greg" of the group who takes the small slices! Graph by: (via afternoonsnoozebutton) Tagged: greedy , Pie Chart , pizza , slices Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Will It Boom?

Friday 29 December 10:06:06 UTC 2017

explosions fact flow chart myth mythbusters television - 4712468992 Graph by: Terranstar Tagged: explosions , fact , flow chart , myth , mythbusters , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chance I'll spill coffee on myself, by color of my shirt

Friday 29 December 10:06:05 UTC 2017

Bar Graph beverage black blue brown chance coffee color drink shirt spill white - 3017113856 Graph by: geiiga Tagged: Bar Graph , beverage , black , blue , brown , chance , coffee , color , drink , shirt , spill , white Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Ignorance Is Bliss

Friday 29 December 10:06:03 UTC 2017

confidence Line Graph ignorance is bliss knowledge - 6745055744 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: confidence , Line Graph , ignorance is bliss , knowledge Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Existing pot shops will have to get new California licenses to comply with the new regulations. So, things may get a little strange for the month of January [Interesting]

Friday 29 December 9:20:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Court rules that an Oregon bakery who refused to make a wedding cake for a lesbian couple because of religious bigotry will have to pay the couple $135,000 in damages [Followup]

Friday 29 December 8:19:08 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [411 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yes, there were 40 thousand pounds …. of avocados [Fail]

Friday 29 December 7:44:25 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This ONE SIMPLE TRICK will allow Blue States to give middle class citizens a tax cut while completely end-running the GOP's tax sham [PSA]

Friday 29 December 6:15:16 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You just witnessed a van slowly jump the curb and hit a building in downtown Seattle. Do you A) Check on status of injured, B) Call 911 or C) Beat the crap and curse out the driver who already had a medical episode? [Dumbass]

Friday 29 December 5:00:12 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Atlanta TV anchor succumbs to a stroke while driving to her stepfather's funeral. Fark needs a "Depressing" tag [Sad]

Friday 29 December 4:50:13 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » At last Canada's national nightmare is over: RCMP find owner of stolen Pepsi machine dumped in New Brunswick potato field [Strange]

Friday 29 December 4:44:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman in California says she wants to have a baby. NOW. Everyone in the supermarket lines up to help [Spiffy]

Friday 29 December 4:03:24 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Last known Fuzzy-Wuzzy Angel, who were New Guinean tribesman that helped provide supplies to Australian troops and evacuate injured soldiers during WWII dies at age 92. Godspeed sir [Hero]

Friday 29 December 3:50:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jersey Shore locales cancel polar plunges due to "extreme cold." Wasn't that kind of the point? MN Farkers laugh derisively as their polar plunges will be at least 20 degrees colder [Amusing]

Friday 29 December 3:25:56 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why doesn't the United States use the metric system? Pirates. Yar [Interesting]

Friday 29 December 3:06:40 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [196 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bad idea, diving off a pier running from the cops. Worse idea, driving off a pier while running from the cops. With helpful video [Dumbass]

Friday 29 December 2:48:37 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sure is dusty in Kentucky, what with all the cancer. Tag is for Drew [Hero]

Friday 29 December 2:30:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's some insane video of absolutely vicious beasts turning on a camera man, attempting to devour him completely [Sappy]

Friday 29 December 2:03:24 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Airport goat yoga is a) a good description for TSA screening procedures, b) the name of subby's garage band, c) a real thing [Silly]

Friday 29 December 1:56:44 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A hair salon that offers butt implant surgery? That should've been a red flag right there [Stupid]

Friday 29 December 1:40:30 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know a forecast winter storm in Montana will be a doozy when it's described as "meteorologically beautiful" and "likely quite crippling" [Cool]

Friday 29 December 1:16:35 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sorry Earth, soooooooo close but no asteroid to kill you off today [Sad]

Friday 29 December 1:10:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop something really scary on the other side of the fence [Photoshop]

Friday 29 December 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Surgeon caught using used rectal catheters on at least five patients has license temporarily suspended. Wait, just temporarily? [Sick]

Friday 29 December 0:46:44 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » “Concerning Love”

Friday 29 December 0:45:43 UTC 2017

I wish she would not ask me if I love the Kitten more than her.
Of course I love her. But I love the Kitten, too; and it has fur. — Josephine Preston Peabody, The Book of the Little Past, 1908 [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Thanks for helping to save people during the terrorist attack in London. For your trouble, here's a £270 bill for running a red light while you were fleeing for your life" [Stupid]

Friday 29 December 0:31:24 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The leader of the Salvation Army takes concert tickets that were supposed to be given to the homeless and gives them to his own family and then defends the action saying they need shelter, not entertainment. Now pass me the donated gravy [Dumbass]

Friday 29 December 0:20:22 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro-tip: Do not leave your debit card at the scene of the robbery you just committed. Bonus: Mighty forehead, maybe fivehead mugshot goodness in article [Dumbass]

Friday 29 December 0:16:44 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [17 comments] [Link]

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