John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Three women jailed for stealing $600 worth of Flonase and baby formula. So much for *that* New Years Eve party [Dumbass]

Thursday 28 December 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shoplifting at Walmart while carrying heroin, a gun and human teeth is no way to go through, life, son [Creepy]

Thursday 28 December 23:32:43 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is the reason you don't put a restaurant in every city and town in the country and clog the market (Warning: Slideshow) [Interesting]

Thursday 28 December 23:10:54 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge Ric Romero tells woman who rode a motorbike naked, got fingered in the street, and punched a blind man 'your life is a mess.' [Obvious]

Thursday 28 December 22:50:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Damn Oompa Loompas [Scary]

Thursday 28 December 22:20:11 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After 80 years, it is no longer illegal to pull your log in Orkney [Interesting]

Thursday 28 December 21:50:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not only is corn Illinois' official state vegetable and popcorn the official state snack, but soon it will also be the official state grain and thus, will finally unite the three Houses of Corn. Corn [Spiffy]

Thursday 28 December 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this rainbow of roundy things [Photoshop]

Thursday 28 December 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gunman robs local Family Dollar in under 10 seconds. Well honestly, how much time would you actually need? [Florida]

Thursday 28 December 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We are looking for a few good mermaids [Florida]

Thursday 28 December 20:20:09 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Great and Small

Thursday 28 December 20:17:06 UTC 2017

When the Seattle Art Museum presented an exhibition of Michelangelo’s early drawings in 2009, it included three menus that the sculptor had scrawled on the back of an envelope in 1518 — grocery lists for a servant. Oregonian reviewer Steve Duin explained, “Because the servant he was sending to market was illiterate, Michelangelo illustrated the shopping lists — a herring, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yet another story of a person rescued after being lost at sea for seven months. This time it was a man and his cat [Interesting]

Thursday 28 December 19:50:07 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do as I say not as I do [Facepalm]

Thursday 28 December 19:19:58 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman says 50 packages stolen from her doorstep. I dunno. Maybe after the first couple dozen, have them delivered to a UPS Store or sumpthin'? [Dumbass]

Thursday 28 December 18:39:58 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Instashop this shot blocker [Photoshop]

Thursday 28 December 18:05:41 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sue chef [Misc]

Thursday 28 December 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The waterbed turns 50. You forgot about the goldfish you dumped in there when you were high back in the '80s, didn't you? [Weird]

Thursday 28 December 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman can't sue school over a prank the students pulled on her [Murica]

Thursday 28 December 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To all those that are trying to pay their 2018 property taxes in 2017. Yeah about that, the IRS says they are deductible only if assessed and paid for in 2017 [Obvious]

Thursday 28 December 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [158 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Miss Plump of Coney Island

Thursday 28 December 16:17:09 UTC 2017

The winner of the 1925 Miss Plump of Coney Island contest was Jolly Irene, which was the stage name of sideshow performer Amanda Siebert. According to Marc Hartzman's American Sideshow:

Amanda Siebert wasn't always the jiggly Jolly Irene. Born in Jersey City, New Jersey, she was quite normal for the first twenty-one years of her life. In 1901 she weighed … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Grits, now a weapon [Dumbass]

Thursday 28 December 15:51:34 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'll be taking this Fiji water and whatever cash you've got [Florida]

Thursday 28 December 15:20:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because who wouldn't want to live in a van down by the river? [Interesting]

Thursday 28 December 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [68 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Mystery Illustration 65

Thursday 28 December 14:10:01 UTC 2017

What are these guys making?

The answer is here.

Or after the jump. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newly dating couples, if you want your dating to last into marriage you should only see each other twice a week. Subby, who has been married 27 years and lives with what's her name swears by this [Obvious]

Thursday 28 December 13:50:03 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Evangelical Christianity has been making great strides in recruiting TONS of new minions…for the atheists [Cool]

Thursday 28 December 13:21:17 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [279 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman throws husband a vasectomy party. Real food items include Milk Duds, beef jerky, meatballs and tiny sausages [Amusing]

Thursday 28 December 13:11:27 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The culture war is being won by corporate America [Creepy]

Thursday 28 December 12:32:27 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hope for America: We're no longer drinking as much Icehouse, Miller Lite, Bud Light, Busch, Natural Ice, Budweiser, Natural Light, Miller High Life, Keystone Light, or Bud Light Lime as we did when we were in college [Obvious]

Thursday 28 December 11:43:27 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There is no better way to attract customers than an enormous angry white Trump-dog hybrid pointing at the sky [Weird]

Thursday 28 December 10:56:28 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dog rescued from not-so-frozen pond in Utah by heroic hero is still doing fine. Also, the kid is awake [Followup]

Thursday 28 December 10:54:24 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know what the Grand Canyon needs? Zip lines [Asinine]

Thursday 28 December 9:57:27 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [43 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » I Think of Your Mother

Thursday 28 December 9:37:39 UTC 2017

climax peak Pie Chart your mom - 4784771840 Graph by: Entwistlefan101 Tagged: climax , peak , Pie Chart , your mom Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Even Worse Than Navi

Thursday 28 December 9:37:36 UTC 2017

beeping health navi Pie Chart video games zelda - 5688072704 Graph by: vinaloi41 Tagged: beeping , health , navi , Pie Chart , video games , zelda Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 2010 Food Pyramid

Thursday 28 December 9:37:34 UTC 2017

2010 birthdays bleeding food pyramid infographic stomach - 4058685952 Graph by: cornstalker Tagged: 2010 , birthdays , bleeding , food pyramid , infographic , stomach Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That's Illegal, Man

Thursday 28 December 9:37:31 UTC 2017

copy distribution illegal infographic piracy software - 5173506560 Graph by: saltyteabag (via www.geekosystem.com) Tagged: copy , distribution , illegal , infographic , piracy , software Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sandwich Guide

Thursday 28 December 9:37:25 UTC 2017

best of week corners guide sandwich - 6202106880 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , corners , guide , sandwich Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Credit Card Security

Thursday 28 December 9:37:24 UTC 2017

credit card graphs funny Pie Chart - 7455394304 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: credit card , graphs , funny , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Gangnam Style's Climb to the Most Viewed Video on YouTube

Thursday 28 December 9:37:22 UTC 2017

justin beiber baby youtube Line Graph gangnam style psy - 6813264896 Graph by: (via Youtube-Trends) Tagged: justin beiber , baby , youtube , Line Graph , gangnam style , psy Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Monday Morning

Thursday 28 December 9:37:19 UTC 2017

snack work websites morning coffee mondays - 6791802880 Graph by: (via Sarah Lazarovic) Tagged: snack , work , websites , morning , coffee , mondays Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Is That an A or an O?

Thursday 28 December 9:37:18 UTC 2017

Bar Graph handwriting school summer - 5196333056 Graph by: Jimperbam Tagged: Bar Graph , handwriting , school , summer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How fun Monopoly is Vs Time

Thursday 28 December 9:37:12 UTC 2017

board games entertainment fun monopoly screw this time - 3694526464 How fun Monopoly is Vs Time Graph by: Unknown Tagged: board games , entertainment , fun , monopoly , screw this , time Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why My Dad Is Lame

Thursday 28 December 9:37:09 UTC 2017

dads parents socks and sandals tacky venn diagram - 5727764992 Graph by: ditzydoo Tagged: dads , parents , socks and sandals , tacky , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Trail Mix Dilemma

Thursday 28 December 9:37:08 UTC 2017

raisins delicious vile - 7749890048 iamnotlost said: Who decided raisins should be a thing? Graph by: iamnotlost Tagged: raisins , delicious , vile Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Must Choose

Thursday 28 December 9:37:07 UTC 2017

dogs pets cat people venn diagram - 7044708096 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: dogs , pets , cat people , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Books with….

Thursday 28 December 9:37:06 UTC 2017

books characters insightful plots Sparkle twilight vampires - 2280767232 Graph by: bsewcicma Tagged: books , characters , insightful , plots , Sparkle , twilight , vampires Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Your Character Is a Jerk

Thursday 28 December 9:37:04 UTC 2017

double jump bad idea video games - 5167788032 Graph by: Aquaras Tagged: double jump , bad idea , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Pocketing the Best

Thursday 28 December 9:37:03 UTC 2017

fashion Chart pants pockets - 7802406912 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: fashion , Chart , pants , pockets Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Rare Reader; Approach with Caution

Thursday 28 December 9:36:59 UTC 2017

caution reader sketch poses - 7712334592 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: caution , reader , sketch , poses Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Kafka Is a Real Downer

Thursday 28 December 9:36:57 UTC 2017

downer unfortunate kafka - 7231271680 Graph by: (via Communicants) Tagged: downer , unfortunate , kafka Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newlyweds find photos showing that they were meant for each other [Sappy]

Thursday 28 December 9:25:32 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Voting ends 1pm Eastern Time today Last chance to get your votes in Headline of the Year Final Round – Main – Story Headlines [HOTY]

Thursday 28 December 8:38:58 UTC 2017

HOTY [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Voting ends 1pm Eastern Time today Last chance to get your votes in Headline of the Year Final Round – Main – Politics headlines posted to Main [HOTY]

Thursday 28 December 8:38:57 UTC 2017

HOTY [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Voting ends 1pm Eastern Time today Last chance to get your votes in Headline of the Year Final Round – Main – Context headlines [HOTY]

Thursday 28 December 8:38:56 UTC 2017

HOTY [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Voting ends 1pm Eastern Time today Last chance to get your votes in Headline of the Year Final Round – Main – Puns and Wordplay [HOTY]

Thursday 28 December 8:38:55 UTC 2017

HOTY [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An enterprising Southern California couple beats Amazon to the drone delivery marketplace [Dumbass]

Thursday 28 December 8:25:39 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 2017 White People Awards [Cool]

Thursday 28 December 7:55:50 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [157 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let's look at how North Korea would wage war on the US. Apparently, they'd use that stick and maybe a map [PSA]

Thursday 28 December 7:23:54 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No one goes into a barbershop and says "Give me the Larry Fine" [Obvious]

Thursday 28 December 6:24:40 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 660: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 28 December 5:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember those nice grandparents who got busted with 60 pounds of weed intended as presents for friends and family? Guess who their son is [Followup]

Thursday 28 December 4:26:07 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently, a large dead animal in your luggage is now against the rules [Dumbass]

Thursday 28 December 4:23:20 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy mistakenly fires off gun while renewing car tags at Michigan Secretary Of State office. Gets 100 on "Mad Max Driving Test" [Strange]

Thursday 28 December 4:23:06 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Supermarket: So sorry for us screwing up your meat order for the holidays, here's a box of chocolates with some maggots [Fail]

Thursday 28 December 4:00:17 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Something very strange that resembles a flaming taco shell has been found at the bottom of a loch in Scotland. No word yet if it belongs to Nessie [Strange]

Thursday 28 December 3:50:03 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman who endured months of Detroit bus rides to medical appointments after carjacker drove her car into her house, punched her in the face and dragged her down the street gets stolen car paid off, new Jeep SUV for Christmas [Spiffy]

Thursday 28 December 3:34:55 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know what sounds like a fun time? Spending $100 for a ticket to visit Disneyland on one their busiest days of the year, and while waiting an hour in line for a ride suddenly being told the ride is closed due to a power outage [Fail]

Thursday 28 December 3:15:46 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♬ Adolf, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? My friends all drive Volkswagens, I must make amends ♫ [Strange]

Thursday 28 December 3:10:23 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Won't buy cigarettes for a teenager on Christmas? You better believe that's a car stealin' and crashin' [Dumbass]

Thursday 28 December 2:41:29 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How shady was the scheme that landed "Pharma Bro" Martin Shkreli in jail? Let's put it this way: even his LAWYER was just convicted of fraud for being part of it [Followup]

Thursday 28 December 2:07:12 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After years of artillery strikes, North Korea announces full-scale invasion of its sworn enemy, the sea [Obvious]

Thursday 28 December 1:55:34 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip: if you try to rob someone at a casino and fail, I mean let 'em go, because man, they're gone. Fark: Seriously, quit. Don't follow the guys for 20 miles to a police station parking lot and try to rob him *again*. Just sayin' is

Thursday 28 December 1:32:55 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out Civil War general, Nathan Beford Forrest, was gay [Obvious]

Thursday 28 December 1:16:14 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these people with a good head for tomatoes [Photoshop]

Thursday 28 December 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Deadspin calls it "diarrhea sludge" but locals of Cincinnati take Cincinnati Chili seriously. So seriously they will fight for it, and steal recipes for it [Amusing]

Thursday 28 December 0:58:38 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That must have been a good cookie [Florida]

Thursday 28 December 0:24:21 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [28 comments] [Link]

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