John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Row, row, row your boat / Through the bus windscreen / Scarily, scarily, scarily, scarily / Hear the schoolkids scream [Scary]

Friday 22 December 23:41:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's calling the cops after your weed gets stolen stupid and then there's calling the cops and accusing them of stealing your weed stupid [Florida]

Friday 22 December 23:21:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy barges into police HQ and demands to know why woman was arrested. Why yes, as a matter of fact, he did have an open warrant [Dumbass]

Friday 22 December 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Flight attendant has been working 61 years, will retire when she finally finds her luggage [Interesting]

Friday 22 December 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In 2017 we learned honest people swear more, somebody stole Eintstein's brain, and a Harvard scientist came up with a plan to find aliens on a goat farm [Weird]

Friday 22 December 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Farewell

Friday 22 December 21:27:39 UTC 2017

Politicians and public figures may well care to ponder the story of the death of Franco. Surrounded on his deathbed by his faithful generals, he heard outside, beyond the heavily drawn curtains, a strange subdued noise like the sea, and asked someone to investigate. An aide did. He looked down from the palace balcony and returned with a lump in … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Potential terror attack at San Francisco's Pier 39 busted up by the FBI [Scary]

Friday 22 December 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this starry, starry night [Photoshop]

Friday 22 December 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A restaurant gives you clams that you think are too small. Do you: A) Complain B) Just eat them C) Call 911 [Florida]

Friday 22 December 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » TSA agents are still rejecting District of Columbia drivers' licenses, which of course were modified to make them TSA compliant for air travel. No word if New Mexico is still one of the 50 states [Facepalm]

Friday 22 December 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is what happens when thousands of chickens move next door to you and there's nothing you can do about it [Murica]

Friday 22 December 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man attacks airplane passenger, insults him during the flight, chases him at the airport after landing and stabs him in the chest at a parking lot – and all of that because of the victim's stinky socks [Facepalm]

Friday 22 December 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ohio parents give teachers wine bearing photos of their son printed with "Our Child Might Be The Reason you Drink So Enjoy This Bottle On Us" [Amusing]

Friday 22 December 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Third suspected organ found in water treatment plant. While police don't know what kind of organ it is, they can point to a lot of pipes [Scary]

Friday 22 December 18:20:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rocky Raccoon, crept into the room, and proceeded to attack the sleeping baby [Scary]

Friday 22 December 18:06:45 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Merry Christmas. You're nicked [Amusing]

Friday 22 December 17:47:40 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now is the time to winterize your car. First, you need some antifreeze, snow tires, onions, and potatoes, new wipers… wait what? [PSA]

Friday 22 December 17:20:04 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Cameo

Friday 22 December 16:26:50 UTC 2017

One more Sherlock Holmes oddity: “The Adventure of the Cardboard Box” appeared in the Strand in 1893. In it, Holmes tells Watson, “As a medical man, you are aware, Watson, that there is no part of the body which varies so much as the human ear. Each ear is as a rule quite distinctive and differs from all other ones. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you see a bloodhound with a vest that says POLICE wandering around, the CT Troopers would like you to give them a call [Awkward]

Friday 22 December 16:20:04 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [40 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » 1960s Christmas Hairdos

Friday 22 December 16:01:07 UTC 2017

Munich 1964

Detroit Free Press – Dec 7, 1964

Pittsburgh Press – Dec 20, 1966

St. Cloud Times – Dec 12, 1964

Decatur Herald – Dec 24, 1966 [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Rusty Cans

Friday 22 December 16:01:06 UTC 2017

It seems to me that you could spend many enjoyable hours at Rusty Cans, looking at the fotos and reading the highly informative and entertaining text.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » And… it's gone [Obvious]

Friday 22 December 15:50:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [345 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever forget to fill out a few forms and miss out on getting $6.5 million? [Fail]

Friday 22 December 15:20:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Reason for the season? Gettysburg HOA says Jesus sign must go" [Facepalm]

Friday 22 December 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [182 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey did you know you were using these 30 everyday objects wrong all along? [Obvious]

Friday 22 December 14:10:07 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this island paradise [Photoshop]

Friday 22 December 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sorry to break the bad news, but you've been wrapping presents all wrong [Obvious]

Friday 22 December 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There is dumb, and then there is "Attempting a home invasion of the vice president of the NRA" dumb [Dumbass]

Friday 22 December 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [224 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » During the trial of a man accused of groping a woman at a Christmas party, a judge has to ask what "Thot" means. Apparently, he isn't familiar with the ranks held by members of the Breen in the Star Trek universe [Awkward]

Friday 22 December 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Court is all like "Buzzfeed gotsta protect source of that dossier thing" and Russian is all "ha ha I don't need it anyway" and rejected and stuff [Followup]

Friday 22 December 11:36:59 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [32 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » No Contest Really

Friday 22 December 10:42:47 UTC 2017

chicken little vs movies james bond skyfall - 6751695104 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: chicken little , vs , movies , james bond , skyfall Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They Have Feelings Too

Friday 22 December 10:42:43 UTC 2017

Bar Graph enthusiasm school teachers - 5119030016 Terrible, terrible feelings. Graph by: newtonstein Tagged: Bar Graph , enthusiasm , school , teachers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why I go to Wal-Mart

Friday 22 December 10:42:42 UTC 2017

Mario Kart Walmart Pie Chart - 7749903360 Graph by: Click2ClaimPrize Tagged: Mario Kart , Walmart , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Post ALL the Feels

Friday 22 December 10:42:38 UTC 2017

valentines feels status update facebook - 7042176256 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: valentines , feels , status update , facebook Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: I'll Take Cartoon Characters Any Day

Friday 22 December 10:42:34 UTC 2017

disney sing cartoons classic Pie Chart - 5291467264 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: disney , sing , cartoons , classic , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Oh, It's Coming

Friday 22 December 10:42:31 UTC 2017

best of week bird flu infographic swine flu zombie - 5675013376 Submitted by: Asciicodeplus Tagged: best of week , bird flu , infographic , swine flu , zombie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They Also Learn Not to Thieve

Friday 22 December 10:42:28 UTC 2017

cartoons dora the explorer Pie Chart spanish - 4748740608 Graph by: tengaps Tagged: cartoons , dora the explorer , Pie Chart , spanish Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam »  Red Drinks Just Taste Better

Friday 22 December 10:42:26 UTC 2017

pie charts food coloring graphs funny - 4456977664 Graph by: Xela140 Tagged: pie charts , food coloring , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Superhero Mathematics

Friday 22 December 10:42:23 UTC 2017

batman best of week equation iron man math Spider-Man superhero superman - 5972588544 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: batman , best of week , equation , iron man , math , Spider-Man , superhero , superman Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Visual Guide to the Common Glasses at a Bar

Friday 22 December 10:42:22 UTC 2017

spirits beer guide alcohol glasses wine - 7833566208 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: spirits , beer , guide , alcohol , glasses , wine Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sad Truth

Friday 22 December 10:42:21 UTC 2017

Pie Chart playboy pr0n today writing - 6569258496 Submitted by: adelmaiden Tagged: Pie Chart , playboy , pr0n , today , writing Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Origami For Absolute Beginners

Friday 22 December 10:42:16 UTC 2017

beginners origami - 7943991296 Submitted by: (via gemma correll) Tagged: beginners , origami Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That's The Christmas Spirit!

Friday 22 December 10:42:15 UTC 2017

christmas gifts Pie Chart presents - 5599657984 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: christmas , gifts , Pie Chart , presents Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Don't Need to Care For Another Four Years

Friday 22 December 10:42:14 UTC 2017

minecraft election Pie Chart politics - 6754689280 Graph by: PrincessWordplay Tagged: minecraft , election , Pie Chart , politics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Contents of a Teenage Girl's iPod

Friday 22 December 10:42:13 UTC 2017

girl ipod Music teen - 1459763456 LoL by: Unknown Tagged: girl , ipod , Music , teen Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Birthday Card Flowchart

Friday 22 December 10:42:09 UTC 2017

birthday card flowchart - 6999818240 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: birthday card , flowchart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'm Resigned to Wear Dentures

Friday 22 December 10:42:04 UTC 2017

dentist health Pie Chart teeth - 4650066176 Graph by: jazjaz130 Tagged: dentist , health , Pie Chart , teeth Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Evolution of the Concert Goers

Friday 22 December 10:42:02 UTC 2017

audience bands rock concert time - 6443706880 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: audience , bands , rock concert , time Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Turns out we provided armed security for a cartel wedding" [Fail]

Friday 22 December 10:05:17 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you were still on the fence about just how awful the Trump administration can be, this may help clear things up you. Also, the fark is wrong with you? [Sick]

Friday 22 December 9:35:01 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [199 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Abandoned cheese shop starting to stink up entire NYC block [Strange]

Friday 22 December 8:35:32 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Las Vegas metro police captain goes missing at 2 a.m. But nothing scary has happened in Vegas recently, so I'm sure it's nothing [Scary]

Friday 22 December 7:59:45 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your roommate stinks up your apartment with his smoking. Do you C: cut off his head and penis after stabbing him 40 times? (possible nsfw content on page) [Sick]

Friday 22 December 7:48:35 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Comey told McCabe about his conversations with Trump. McCabe passed it on to others at the FBI. Lordy I hope there are tapes [Followup]

Friday 22 December 6:57:29 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Republicans leading the attack on the Mueller investigation are coordinating with the White House. Hmmm, what would that be called? [Obvious]

Friday 22 December 6:27:28 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Veterans Administration has been hiring health care providers with revoked licenses for the last 15 years. Thanks for your service [Sad]

Friday 22 December 5:59:27 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So what exactly do Fox News viewers watch when they're not watching Fox News? [Murica]

Friday 22 December 5:20:44 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [166 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I was discriminated against." "That's terrible. Was it because of your race, religion, gender, sexuality, or age?" "Even worse: my shopping cart" [Dumbass]

Friday 22 December 4:37:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Federal judge dismisses emoluments lawsuit [Fail]

Friday 22 December 4:34:03 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man with the world's second biggest penis accuses the self-declared record holder of cheating (NSFW) [Weeners]

Friday 22 December 3:38:11 UTC 2017

Weeners [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rolling Christmas monstrosity nets $230 fine, Fark fame [Silly]

Friday 22 December 3:37:00 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A man has ordered his girlfriend to turn down a promotion because her larger salary would 'humiliate' him. In related news: A man with a high pitched voice is searching for a new girlfriend [Dumbass]

Friday 22 December 3:21:17 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, SOMEthing was exposed [Amusing]

Friday 22 December 2:43:01 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mexican YouTube star who told one of the country's most dangerous drug lords to "suck my dick" was shot 18 times in a brutal bar execution (graphic image warning) [Scary]

Friday 22 December 2:32:03 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Birth tourism causes huge surge in Saipan Anchor Babies. Coincidentally, that's the name of my cover band. Be sure to come check us out at the South Pacific Lounge tonight, cover is only $5 and well vodak is only $1 [Murica]

Friday 22 December 2:30:04 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That real Christmas tree that you dragged inside your house… did you examine it thoroughly? [Interesting]

Friday 22 December 2:07:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunkin' Donuts [Cool]

Friday 22 December 1:50:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man dresses as train seat on the underground, asks people to 'sit on it' [Strange]

Friday 22 December 1:13:59 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This New Year's you should eat long noodles because the longer the noodle, the longer you'll live. And also eat bagels because their circular shape represent the year coming full circle. And if you're still hungry eat a whole fish [Strang

Friday 22 December 1:10:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these soldiers [Photoshop]

Friday 22 December 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I mean, who doesn't want a trophy wife? [Weird]

Friday 22 December 0:04:56 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [101 comments] [Link]

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