John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Facebook drops the "disputed" flag intended to alert people to possible fake news–because their research has shown, in the minds of those that fall for such things, that flag just makes it MORE believable because THEY Say it's fake [Face

Thursday 21 December 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For your feel good story of the day, Maine waitress gets $200 tip. Oh, and John Travolta shops at TJ Maxx [Silly]

Thursday 21 December 23:20:04 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alabama gets the first squadron of F-35 jets. Wonder what Alabama did to piss off the Air Force? [Obvious]

Thursday 21 December 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian submarine wins the prize for being most "down under" thing in Australia [Cool]

Thursday 21 December 22:05:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best grandparents ever. And I'm sure all will agree they deserve the "Hero" tag [Hero]

Thursday 21 December 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shoulder driving coming to I-90. Jeez, and I get pulled over when I try to drive with my feet [Misc]

Thursday 21 December 21:20:04 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canada spends as much on marijuana as on wine. Still lags behind on purchases of bacon, maple syrup and Labatt's [Cool]

Thursday 21 December 21:10:15 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these diamonds [Photoshop]

Thursday 21 December 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man with a phobia of Warner Bros. cartoon character Tasmanian Devil accuses his father-in-law of wearing a toupee that looks like the cartoon, then chasing him around while wearing it [Silly]

Thursday 21 December 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Georgia Power decides to continue construction of Vogtle nuclear reactors just to get them to stop reciting their poetry [Obvious]

Thursday 21 December 20:20:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tennesseans won't be able to buy wine and liquor around the major holidays, repair Fark servers [Fail]

Thursday 21 December 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » T'was the night before Christmas and ahhhhhh [Sad]

Thursday 21 December 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » US life expectancy declines for the second year in a row. Creator of deep fried opiods mystified [Murica]

Thursday 21 December 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » RSS Quiz

Thursday 21 December 18:21:57 UTC 2017

Another holiday challenge: The Royal Statistical Society’s 2017 Christmas quiz presents 13 problems that require general knowledge, logic, and lateral thinking but no particular math skills. For example: 4. CAN YOU DIG IT? [11 points] Identify the following from the clues. What do all ten answers have in common? A cockerel of human dimensions, performed by a prolific informer William’s … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man accused of stealing $26,000 in gold bars from kitty litter box. Before you mock, ask yourself-when was the last time you dug through someone else's litter box looking for gold? [Florida]

Thursday 21 December 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Are you having a bad day? You should be, and not just because it's you [Interesting]

Thursday 21 December 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunken road raging while driving a school bus full of kids is not something most of us would ever think of doing. This guy on the other hand, well, he said fark it, why not [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 December 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » All of Germany's submarines might be non-operational, but at least NATO can rely on Britain's storied Royal Navy to . . . be tied up at the pier. Crap [Followup]

Thursday 21 December 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [192 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For the true carnivore this holiday season, Arby's is rewarding their meat lovers with limited-edition "Meat Sweats." Mmmmmm… Meat Sweats [Spiffy]

Thursday 21 December 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Retired police officer with terminal cancer gets big surprise for his last Christmas [Sappy]

Thursday 21 December 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Worst Korean businesswoman avoids jail time following airplane rage incident over packaged nuts. Best Koreans still unsure what is meant by "avoids jail time", "airplane" or "nuts" [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 December 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "If Silicon Valley green tech giants have their way, real meat will become an unaffordable carbon taxed luxury item eaten by the very rich. The rest of us will have to eat "meatless meat" – meat flavoured mashed vegetables, lab grown tiss

Thursday 21 December 14:57:07 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [267 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maine Warden Service wants to warn everyone that the ice on lakes and ponds is still too thin to land a Maine Warden Service plane on [Facepalm]

Thursday 21 December 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And yet another new source for FARK headlines [Misc]

Thursday 21 December 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [70 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Cigarette Perfume

Thursday 21 December 14:11:41 UTC 2017

From Etat Libre d'Orange. For women who actually want to smell like an ashtray.

Transparency in sophistication, just a trace of jasmine mingled with the so far neglected smell of a cigarette. Jasmin et Cigarette is the twilight zone, the banned, the addiction. She is an icon, the longed-for woman.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this classic movie lobbycard [Photoshop]

Thursday 21 December 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 8-year-old boy banned from Christmas concert because his hair was all Kid-n-Play [Stupid]

Thursday 21 December 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After accusing her of the crime before investigating it, Florida police now say they will not charge Venus Williams in fatal car crash [Florida]

Thursday 21 December 13:10:20 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And the most influential person in the media is…Steve Doocy? [Unlikely]

Thursday 21 December 12:59:20 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Damn, Arizona. Just get your flu shot [Scary]

Thursday 21 December 12:51:20 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [87 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #342

Thursday 21 December 11:55:00 UTC 2017

Nestle's = "Ness-uls" Down Under? Who the heck knew? In any case, girls sure do love chocolate-affiliated horoscopes, don't they? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California's carbon cap helped reduce emissions by five percent, thanks to non-renewable energy [Awkward]

Thursday 21 December 11:51:20 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman shoots neighbor's dog who then rushed the dog to the vet, who was also the neighbor who allegedly shot her dog. There's a complicated riddle in there somewhere [Sick]

Thursday 21 December 11:47:40 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Operation Three Stooges [Facepalm]

Thursday 21 December 10:59:06 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fun-loving Canadian rich kid turns to murder, like one does when they're handed everything. Finally, a guy worse than Bieber [Sick]

Thursday 21 December 10:51:40 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [51 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » ROFLrazzi: Classic "30 Rock" Jokes as Infographics

Thursday 21 December 10:14:08 UTC 2017

30 rock categoryimage funny graph infographic NBC TV - 6639619584 Submitted by: (via Vulture) Tagged: 30 rock , categoryimage , funny , graph , infographic , NBC , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Great Secret of Adulthood

Thursday 21 December 10:14:02 UTC 2017

growing up Line Graph smart teenagers - 4596248064 Graph by: zagood Tagged: growing up , Line Graph , smart , teenagers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Midwesterners see the U.S.

Thursday 21 December 10:14:01 UTC 2017

americans eskimos hula left wing loonies midwest mountains normal old people people right wing usa - 2325787392 LoL by: euphgeek Tagged: americans , eskimos , hula , left wing , loonies , midwest , mountains , normal , old people , people , right wing , usa Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They'd Be So Useful Today

Thursday 21 December 10:13:57 UTC 2017

buttons facebook wtf - 5226481152 Graph by: (via Pleated-Jeans) Tagged: buttons , facebook , wtf Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Trolling Pin

Thursday 21 December 10:13:54 UTC 2017

7 bowling Chart infographic pin sports trolling - 4370560512 Graph by: ThatGuyWhoMakesThoseThings Tagged: 7 , bowling , Chart , infographic , pin , sports , trolling Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People Who Email Me

Thursday 21 December 10:13:49 UTC 2017

big computer email friends internet myspace p33n Pie Chart spam - 2462833920 Graph by: hobojo94 Tagged: big , computer , email , friends , internet , myspace , p33n , Pie Chart , spam Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People Who Say "Back In My Day…"

Thursday 21 December 10:13:47 UTC 2017

nostalgia 90s kids back in my day graphs funny - 7475198208 Graph by: BobPowes Tagged: nostalgia , 90s kids , back in my day , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Ping Pong Pie Chart

Thursday 21 December 10:13:46 UTC 2017

paddle Pie Chart ping pong sport - 6100778752 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: paddle , Pie Chart , ping pong , sport Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Are You Listening, Zuckerberg?

Thursday 21 December 10:13:43 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4615666688 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Should Probably Get This Tattooed Somewhere

Thursday 21 December 10:13:41 UTC 2017

dinner party etiquette How To Maps silverware - 5016219136 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: dinner party , etiquette , How To , Maps , silverware Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not the Lesson They Were Going For

Thursday 21 December 10:13:34 UTC 2017

authority best of week homework lesson Pie Chart school truancy story - 5745021696 Graph by: g3t0master Tagged: authority , best of week , homework , lesson , Pie Chart , school , truancy story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It Only Takes so Many Beers Before You Start Launching Them at People

Thursday 21 December 10:13:33 UTC 2017

4th of july beer fireworks holiday Line Graph summer - 6390904576 Summer's here! Sit back, relax, and enjoy A Cheezburger Summer! Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: 4th of july , beer , fireworks , holiday , Line Graph , summer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » how trying to find a file online goes

Thursday 21 December 10:13:32 UTC 2017

broken computer file find flowchart forum google internet link online post wait yahoo answers - 3228984576 Graph by: iwantzchezburger Tagged: broken , computer , file , find , flowchart , forum , google , internet , link , online , post , wait , yahoo answers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Type of Math Class Is This?

Thursday 21 December 10:13:30 UTC 2017

best of week equation math penguin poo - 6035164416 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , equation , math , penguin , poo Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What My grandparents do on their $1000 Computer

Thursday 21 December 10:13:29 UTC 2017

computer expensive games grandparents Pie Chart solitaire useful - 3172752128 Graph by: qwerty121 Tagged: computer , expensive , games , grandparents , Pie Chart , solitaire , useful Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chance of commercial break inturupting a story on CNN

Thursday 21 December 10:13:28 UTC 2017

cnn commercials economy interesting interuption news story swine flu TV war - 2169345280 Graph by: keybo93 Tagged: cnn , commercials , economy , interesting , interuption , news , story , swine flu , TV , war Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just Drink the Damn Thing

Thursday 21 December 10:13:26 UTC 2017

glass optimism perspective pessimism - 4919498496 Graph by: sixonefive72 Tagged: glass , optimism , perspective , pessimism Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That's Life

Thursday 21 December 10:13:24 UTC 2017

expectations vs reality venn diagram - 6348738304 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: expectations vs reality , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Survivability in Zombie Outbreaks

Thursday 21 December 10:13:23 UTC 2017

army attacks boomsticks guns movies survival zombie - 3689590528 Survivability in Zombie Outbreaks Graph by: ComHop Tagged: army , attacks , boomsticks , guns , movies , survival , zombie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Epic Typography: Daft Punk Portrait

Thursday 21 December 10:13:21 UTC 2017

art chart art daft punk design poster typography - 3920842496 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: art , chart art , daft punk , design , poster , typography Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But At Least They Can Make Awesome Venn Diagrams

Thursday 21 December 10:13:20 UTC 2017

engineering relationships venn diagram - 7777541376 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: engineering , relationships , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 12 people injured as car mows down pedestrians outside Melbourne's Flinders Street station [News]

Thursday 21 December 8:30:39 UTC 2017

News [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple decides selling four pounds of pot and using the proceeds to buy an SUV they saw on Craigslist is too much trouble and offer to trade instead. And it would've worked, too, if it hadn't had been for that meddling sheriff who owned the S

Thursday 21 December 8:22:11 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you are attending a 'shop with a cop' program, you may want to think twice about shoplifting [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 December 7:21:26 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because it's a nasty, inedible substance? [Obvious]

Thursday 21 December 6:55:31 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » President Trump's Christmas cards are so big that he himself can't hold them in his small hands. Bonus: Either Melania Trump's handwriting is strangely similar to her husband's, or the President decided to sign for the First Lady as w

Thursday 21 December 6:19:13 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Unquote

Thursday 21 December 6:03:27 UTC 2017

“To pray to God is to flatter oneself that with words one can alter nature.” — Voltaire [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After the repeal of net neutrality, ISPs are doing exactly what you knew they would [Obvious]

Thursday 21 December 6:01:19 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police advise women to avoid rape by staying indoors or going outside only with an escort. Is it A: Saudi Arabia, B: Egypt, or C: Sweden? [Asinine]

Thursday 21 December 5:20:03 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [148 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 659: "Seasons' Greetings 10". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 21 December 5:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out, baby boomers ruined America. Sorry about the blame, millennials [PSA]

Thursday 21 December 4:47:39 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tennessee man wrongly jailed for 31 years finally gets exonerated [News]

Thursday 21 December 4:21:03 UTC 2017

News [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge declares mistrial over Nevada armed standoff by Cliven Bundy, sons Ryan, Ammon, militia leader Ryan Payne because federal prosecutors screwed up again [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 December 4:01:18 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pft. Amateurs. This is a Monday morning for the average Farker [Amusing]

Thursday 21 December 3:21:39 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian town reveals the world's first Sooooooooooooool Traaaaaaain [Interesting]

Thursday 21 December 3:00:59 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Abominable Snowman arrested for drunk driving in Oregon, claims "Grinch set me up" [Sad]

Thursday 21 December 2:02:36 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently Kim Jong Un sneaked into one of subby's family's previous Christmas parties [News]

Thursday 21 December 1:21:38 UTC 2017

News [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this scuba Santa [Photoshop]

Thursday 21 December 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man with world's longest penis now registered as disabled human tripod. (Not safe for work) [Awkward]

Thursday 21 December 0:35:04 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arizona, which was among the last states to observe Martin Luther King Day, may name freeway after him [Ironic]

Thursday 21 December 0:10:46 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [72 comments] [Link]

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