John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » It's a common business situation: the toxic workplace is 'out of control,' managers are running back and forth without telling anyone anything, and everyone's locked down to limit the spread of radioactivity [Scary]

Tuesday 19 December 23:46:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man charged with DUI manslaughter after passenger ejected in Land O'Lakes crash. How the driver managed to stay inside the car while slicked down with butter, no one knows [Florida]

Tuesday 19 December 23:16:44 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A married hedge-funder wooed his beauty-pageant mistress with the promise of an ostrich farm in Uganda – only to gift her with an STD instead [Awkward]

Tuesday 19 December 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Net neutrality's impact on free porn could be significant, experts say. Seriously, EVERYONE PANIC [Scary]

Tuesday 19 December 22:44:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Soldier driving by Seattle train crash as it happened rescues grandmother left hanging from train car window [Hero]

Tuesday 19 December 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh yeah. War's a-comin': After Saudi forces shoot down a missile aimed at the royal palace launched by Iranian-backed Houthi rebels, UAE's foreign minister says "with every Iranian missile launched it becomes clear that the storm is n

Tuesday 19 December 22:01:54 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I was standing up here waiting on the Madison bus on Western, and a guy came up naked," witness Lutisha Gibson said. "Before I knew it, he slapped a lady and walked across the street, then I heard a shot" [Creepy]

Tuesday 19 December 21:40:05 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Charlottesville police chief retires, plans to open Tiki bar [Obvious]

Tuesday 19 December 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Homeland Security agent points gun at boss during performance review. Well, I feel safer already [Scary]

Tuesday 19 December 21:05:26 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this small step [Photoshop]

Tuesday 19 December 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Which raises the question: What will we find at his house? [Scary]

Tuesday 19 December 20:46:59 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Earth dodged at least six apocalypses in 2017 [Weird]

Tuesday 19 December 20:28:31 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're in jail for drinking and driving, don't call your drunk friend to bail you out [Dumbass]

Tuesday 19 December 20:10:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian cosmonaut says what space smells like [Interesting]

Tuesday 19 December 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Record-breaking baby born in East Tennessee spent 24 years as frozen embryo [News]

Tuesday 19 December 19:37:13 UTC 2017

News [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Amtrak's new high speed flying train was moving at high speed during crash [Followup]

Tuesday 19 December 19:37:12 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » China unveils world's fastest, fully-armed Roomba [Cool]

Tuesday 19 December 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sea turtle found trapped in 800 kilos of floating cocaine. What the fark can even be said about that [Weird]

Tuesday 19 December 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Thoughtful Gift

Tuesday 19 December 18:45:54 UTC 2017

University College London mathematician Matthew Scroggs has created a mathematical Christmas card for Chalkdust magazine. Solve 10 puzzles, convert the answers to base 3, write them in the grid, and color them accordingly to reveal a Christmassy picture. He’s provided both a PDF and an online version that will color the squares for you. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news, everyone: the government is going to let us start working with highly contagious germs again [Scary]

Tuesday 19 December 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [150 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Day care worker accused of burning 5 toddlers with hot glue gun, will never finish that nativity scene now [Scary]

Tuesday 19 December 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [90 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The prettiest Christmas dollies

Tuesday 19 December 14:34:24 UTC 2017

From Mademoiselle magazine, 1970.

Reminds me of this.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was sleeping for fear of being murdered in their beds by this hellish creature [Amusing]

Tuesday 19 December 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this departure to fun [Photoshop]

Tuesday 19 December 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Hello. We are the Brussels Sprout Police. You have been accused of eating seven sprouts, 1 above the legal amount. Please do not resist and come with us down to the station" [Silly]

Tuesday 19 December 13:20:04 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What to do when Queen Elizabeth springs a leak? Depends [Interesting]

Tuesday 19 December 12:21:50 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're going to shoot at a couple of power plant workers out in the middle of the desert, don't wear shoes made out of recycled tires that can easily be traced back to you [Dumbass]

Tuesday 19 December 12:05:07 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Predatory payday loan style home loan refinancing vultures are targeting veterans for their ripoff schemes [PSA]

Tuesday 19 December 11:54:07 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [88 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Tirza’s Wine Bath

Tuesday 19 December 11:54:00 UTC 2017

The original Tirza was not always available, and so Mary Hood often substituted.

Source.

Source.

Source. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Daily Mail found the most stupidly tacky mansion in the Hollywood Hills and it's on sale for only $10 million [Misc]

Tuesday 19 December 11:12:09 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [175 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can't sleep, sheep will eat me [Scary]

Tuesday 19 December 10:59:08 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [57 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » How Am I Supposed to Enjoy Being Sick Now?

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:47 UTC 2017

school sick summer weekend - 6540289280 Graph by: jasonrapper Tagged: school , sick , summer , weekend Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Being Attached to Characters is Tough

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:46 UTC 2017

literature deaths characters - 7841822464 What was your most emotional character death? Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: literature , deaths , characters Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Shouldn't There Be Some Damage From the Crash?

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:41 UTC 2017

awesome diagram van venn diagram - 4842939904 Graph by: (via pancake face) Tagged: awesome , diagram , van , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Evolution of the Dog – From Wolf to Wag

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:37 UTC 2017

evolution infographics dogs wolf - 7338855424 Too small to read? Click and make it bigger! Graph by: GeorgeMason (via www.invisiblefence.com) Tagged: evolution , infographics , dogs , wolf Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Offensively Shaped Chocolate Is Always a Good Idea

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:35 UTC 2017

best of week chocolate christmas gift giving holiday holidays - 5403318272 Graph by: Gardevoir_Gurl (via Mint.com) Tagged: best of week , chocolate , christmas , gift , giving , holiday , holidays Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » We Can Dance If We Want To

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:28 UTC 2017

best of week dance mug safety dance venn diagram - 6065132288 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: best of week , dance , mug , safety dance , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What About Haunted Food?

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:27 UTC 2017

travel channel ghosts food - 4503174400 Graph by: -Crow- Tagged: travel channel , ghosts , food Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why It Sucks to be the IT Guy

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:25 UTC 2017

nerds it geeks infographic - 6911640064 Graph by: (via Daily Infographic ) Tagged: nerds , it , geeks , infographic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Self Control?

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:23 UTC 2017

cookie jar cookies noms Pie Chart snacks - 4534387200 Graph by: wieuboot Tagged: cookie jar , cookies , noms , Pie Chart , snacks Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Here's Another One to Put in the Overlap

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:21 UTC 2017

Memes venn diagram proud - 7878937600 Graph by: Rayquaza932 Tagged: Memes , venn diagram , proud Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Obnoxiousness of the chipmunk previews

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:20 UTC 2017

animation chipmunks first kill Line Graph movies now obnoxious previews second sequels third - 3029159936 Graph by: IamHasBob Tagged: animation , chipmunks , first , kill , Line Graph , movies , now , obnoxious , previews , second , sequels , third Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Dollar Signs for Eyes

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:19 UTC 2017

antiques roadshow Pie Chart price television - 5221244160 Graph by: MAN-BEAR-PIG Tagged: antiques roadshow , Pie Chart , price , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Learn to Take a Hint

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:18 UTC 2017

annoying life people Pie Chart storytelling - 4631086080 Graph by: danielfillmore Tagged: annoying , life , people , Pie Chart , storytelling Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That's When I Hit the Imaginary Brakes

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:17 UTC 2017

terror car driving passenger brakes - 6943135232 Graph by: (via Invisible Bread) Tagged: terror , car , driving , passenger , brakes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Sure Wish I Had Her Backpack

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:16 UTC 2017

dora the explorer Pie Chart spanish swiper television - 5062739456 Graph by: tapemonster Tagged: dora the explorer , Pie Chart , spanish , swiper , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Frodo Leads an Interesting Life

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:13 UTC 2017

frodo Lord of the Rings falling - 4505257984 Graph by: maggie9936 Tagged: frodo , Lord of the Rings , falling Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Is Why I Graph

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:11 UTC 2017

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: april fools , rap , this is why , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who Changed the Channel?

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:10 UTC 2017

Bar Graph channel remote controls TV - 6617565696 Graph by: blacqwolf Tagged: Bar Graph , channel , remote controls , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They'll Never See It Coming

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:09 UTC 2017

battery acid best of week breakfast nickleback oj - 5559079424 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: battery acid , best of week , breakfast , nickleback , oj Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Do Your Glasses Say About You?

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:08 UTC 2017

best of week glasses personality spectacles - 6286611200 Graph by: (via Reading Glasses Hopper) Tagged: best of week , glasses , personality , spectacles Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Can't You See I'm In the Zone?

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:05 UTC 2017

annoying headphones Music Pie Chart - 4754208256 Graph by: jibsie Tagged: annoying , headphones , Music , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Tuesday 19 December 10:47:04 UTC 2017

cake dancing friends Pie Chart presents shotguns weddings - 3924655360 via : Reddit http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/commen~ Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cake , dancing , friends , Pie Chart , presents , shotguns , weddings Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently, if you go to Colombia and break several majors laws for five years, they just give you a plane ticket home [Facepalm]

Tuesday 19 December 10:28:08 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canadian death panel decides to ruin Christmas [Sick]

Tuesday 19 December 9:48:07 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Medical marijuana is safe in Arizona" [Spiffy]

Tuesday 19 December 9:20:09 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Disney's Hall of Presidents unleashes animatronic Donald Trump [Murica]

Tuesday 19 December 8:21:42 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Wall Street tycoons ruining everything. The New Hotness: Technology tycoons ruining everything. Sensing a pattern here – it's almost as if… the richest… become the most detached from society… and that they need a smackdown [

Tuesday 19 December 7:46:12 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You would expect an airline to not give a damn about a major traffic issue like the train crash in Washington. But then you wouldn't be Alaska Airlines [Followup]

Tuesday 19 December 7:32:22 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let's look at what most American History classes aren't teaching [Murica]

Tuesday 19 December 6:45:44 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Charlestonese

Tuesday 19 December 6:17:03 UTC 2017

While writing for the Charleston News and Courier, journalist Frank Gilbreth Jr. made a study of the local language. “Although, as everyone knows, Charlestonians speak perfect English,” he wrote, “residents of many other sections of the United States unfortunately do not. Ironically, these sloppy talkers from elsewhere complain sometimes, while visiting the Holy City, that they cannot understand the pure … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Draining the swamp in California. Trump gets to pick a new judge for the 9th Circuit. Pervert Alex Kozinski retires abruptly after being called out for being a sexual deviant [Cool]

Tuesday 19 December 5:32:43 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Rape kits tested. News: 11,341 that were abandoned. Fark: 817 serial rapists identified. Ultrafark: In one county [Scary]

Tuesday 19 December 5:04:32 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [165 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » End of days comes for Ohio man's 'zombie Nativity' scene [Strange]

Tuesday 19 December 4:23:12 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You think Uber has issues in the US [Scary]

Tuesday 19 December 4:10:20 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can get hired as an unarmed security guard for the 2018 Super Bowl. Yes, really. You. And me. And Bob [Unlikely]

Tuesday 19 December 3:50:34 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Please note: calling the police to raid your own house may have consequences [Obvious]

Tuesday 19 December 3:22:45 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Child porn found on man's cell phone. His face considered probable cause [Creepy]

Tuesday 19 December 3:01:48 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nevada wants a quick review of the execution drugs scheduled to be used on death row inmate–seems they're about to expire. Maybe we could test it on some hipsters; they love old stuff [Interesting]

Tuesday 19 December 2:58:45 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists propose new method of detecting planets orbiting Alpha Centauri. Although how we're supposed to build a ship and get settlers there before the game ends in 2020 remains a mystery [Spiffy]

Tuesday 19 December 2:46:45 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news, everyone. Eating more than a half serving a day of red meat is no longer bad for you. Subby and his dog both want steak [Cool]

Tuesday 19 December 2:13:22 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now all they need is a 100-foot-long match [Spiffy]

Tuesday 19 December 2:10:45 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm not saying it was a UFO, but it was probably a UFO [Interesting]

Tuesday 19 December 1:46:45 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The beginner's guide to edibles – not that Farkers need a beginner's guide, but maybe your grandma would be interested [PSA]

Tuesday 19 December 1:22:45 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For all of you who say you want a porg, do you really want to clean up after the thing? Tear yourself away from the Star Wars thread, it's the Weekly Weird News Quiz 12/9-12/15 Hot Dog Edition [Strange]

Tuesday 19 December 1:19:10 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this high-flying daredevil [Photoshop]

Tuesday 19 December 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Come one, come all, to the Edison Mall, for the XMas brawl. 4 vs 1. Big vs small. At the Edison Mall we have it all. Come see a mom with a stroller kick a woman in the face, then abandon the child for a beat down race [Florida]

Tuesday 19 December 0:58:45 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Attorney visited jail to make porn with inmate, sheriff says. (w/ mugshots) [Florida]

Tuesday 19 December 0:54:44 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have any plans to eat placenta over the holidays? You might want to read this first. And also not do that [Interesting]

Tuesday 19 December 0:34:45 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FARK 2017 On Paul's Memory Bank tonight (8PM ET) a musical (mostly) tribute to some who passed during 2017 [Live]

Tuesday 19 December 0:30:47 UTC 2017

Live [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Embarrassing: Being caught by police behind a shopping plaza while on a date. FARK: Your date is only 11 years old. Double-FARK: Your date is also a relative [Sick]

Tuesday 19 December 0:10:45 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [61 comments] [Link]

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