John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » You could click the link to see what the most popular audiobook of the year was, but if you listened to it you probably don't give a fark [Interesting]

Thursday 14 December 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toastmasters group thriving inside Arizona prison. So, you're telling me there is a more eloquent way of saying 'shank the snitch'? [Interesting]

Thursday 14 December 23:28:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » All aboard survive after plane crashes in Fond-du-Lac after not being Fond-du-Flight [Scary]

Thursday 14 December 23:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Article suggests "make cannabis-infused chocolate gelt for an adult game of dreidel this Hanukkah". Where to find a rabbi to verify that your cannabis is kosher not mentioned [Spiffy]

Thursday 14 December 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Technology at its best: Dublin, Ireland spends €368million on a high-tech tram that is slower for commuters than walking [Fail]

Thursday 14 December 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Force is strong with…a bag of shredded lettuce [Stupid]

Thursday 14 December 21:47:39 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UPS: "We seem to have lost your $846,000. Sorry about that. Here's $35. We cool?" [Asinine]

Thursday 14 December 21:17:39 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [196 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this raincheck [Photoshop]

Thursday 14 December 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Yo, I'm a cop, gimme a discount." "B*tch, you no cop, Imma callin' the real cops." "Fark, didn't think this through, I'm out." "Hold up, b*tch, I'm a real cop, you got the right to remain silent."

Thursday 14 December 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wawa is opening its first store in Washington DC. It will feature interactive digital screens-where customers can upload photos and messages that will flicker inside the store. What could possibly go wrong? [Amusing]

Thursday 14 December 20:46:45 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Driver calls ambulance after seeing person sitting still on park bench and covered in snow. Hilarity ensues [Amusing]

Thursday 14 December 20:16:44 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bionic hand inspired by Star Wars allows man to play piano, help buddy escape from crime lord, attract lightning bolts, reconnect with estranged father [Cool]

Thursday 14 December 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Did you use Google, Facebook, Microsoft, or Apple last Tuesday? If so, Russia probably has your password [Scary]

Thursday 14 December 19:40:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Prescription for bipolar disorder: Have as much sex as you can handle [Giggity]

Thursday 14 December 19:16:44 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A 'Large possum' caused massive power outage, and huge explosion in Rio Rancho, Corrales [Strange]

Thursday 14 December 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Discovery

Thursday 14 December 18:43:15 UTC 2017

Crossing the woodlands of upstate New York in the 1830s, Alexis de Tocqueville came to an island at the center of a lake, “one of those delicious solitudes of the New World.” As he explored it, “the deep silence which is common to the wilds of North America was only broken by the hoarse cooing of the wood-pigeon, and the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A cow escapes from a nativity manger twice at a Philadelphia church. A spokescow states that "Stormy" is an atheist and objects to being used against her beliefs [Amusing]

Thursday 14 December 18:33:42 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FCC votes to (Please pay $5 to read rest of the headline) [NewsFlash]

Thursday 14 December 18:20:42 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [853 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shoeless suspect asks for the death penalty after calling 911 and demanding entry to the building because he left his probation papers behind. And some condoms [Dumbass]

Thursday 14 December 18:11:53 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Star Wars Spoilers Reminder: A reminder about spoilers. Spoiler alert: they're not cool [Followup]

Thursday 14 December 17:57:02 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [545 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: It is a misdemeanor to curse in public in Virginia. News: State Delegate Michael Webert (R) is pushing to have the law stricken. Fark: He's from Fauquier county, so it's important to his constituents. Fark filters neutral on the sub

Thursday 14 December 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Tis the season to adopt a giant constrictor [Spiffy]

Thursday 14 December 17:44:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Disney buys 21st Century Fox for $52.4 billion, which means they'll own the "Alien" franchise, which means that the Xenomorphs born from the Queen are now actually Disney Princesses. Let that sink in for a minute [Repeat]

Thursday 14 December 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NJ estate up for auction is like a crack whore East Coast version of Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch [Weird]

Thursday 14 December 17:16:44 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In other news, someone in Davenport, Iowa owned a Ferrari [Sad]

Thursday 14 December 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "As a doctor, I am sick of the health care freeloaders. The majority of my patients are on government-funded health care and never worked a day in their lives. I provide these freeloaders with life-saving therapies like vaccinations and antibioti

Thursday 14 December 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [279 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Verizon is allowing us to watch their execution of the internet live [Live]

Thursday 14 December 15:42:35 UTC 2017

Live [link] [450 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #341

Thursday 14 December 15:24:52 UTC 2017

Sweeping up the crumbs from a toast carpet is a thankless task.

Original ad here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey, it's cold [Obvious]

Thursday 14 December 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [91 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Women dressed as appliances

Thursday 14 December 15:17:00 UTC 2017

At the Los Angeles Electrical Exposition of 1936.

source: Martin Turnbull

And in case you can't figure out what appliances they are, the same image, labeled:

source: history by zim [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 1 in 4 teens will die just like Becky did [Scary]

Thursday 14 December 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this car port [Photoshop]

Thursday 14 December 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "And then, just over a month after she died, Margaret Basco submitted a comment to the Federal Communications Commission about its proposal to overturn net neutrality" [Asinine]

Thursday 14 December 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 2 million citizens wrote in to the FCC to demand an end to net neutrality. Your government hears you and will work toward that end. In possibly related news, 2 million citizens' identities were stolen and used to submit fake comments to the FCC [

Thursday 14 December 13:21:44 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Roger Stone's go-between with Wikileaks will testify Friday. "Testify" is an English word meaning "plead the Fifth Amendment, which is not available in Russia" [Obvious]

Thursday 14 December 13:15:56 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is why you shouldn't put Christmas lights on palm trees [Florida]

Thursday 14 December 12:09:55 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now we will never know why the bear was trying to cross the road [Sad]

Thursday 14 December 11:57:55 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Keaton Jones Update; bullied boy has facial scar because he was born with cranio-facial tumor. In a touching move, Keaton's dad shaved his own head as a display of support for his fellow neo-Nazis [Followup]

Thursday 14 December 11:40:57 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Media outlets are having to fight in the courts for any information at all about the Las Vegas shooting [Asinine]

Thursday 14 December 11:32:57 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 20 years ago: " If Trump goes to Moscow, I think America will follow" [Followup]

Thursday 14 December 10:52:55 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How desperate do you have to be to want to shut down the whole FBI? Find out now on Fox News [Amusing]

Thursday 14 December 9:55:56 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [75 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » My Day at Work

Thursday 14 December 8:56:36 UTC 2017

job work bust Pie Chart - 6875045376 Graph by: Chrispystonerd Tagged: job , work , bust , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Field Guide to Procrastinators

Thursday 14 December 8:56:32 UTC 2017

i'll finish this later list procrastinators guides funny web comics - 7802077440 Submitted by: (via 20PX) Tagged: i'll finish this later , list , procrastinators , guides , funny , web comics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Just So Tense!

Thursday 14 December 8:56:31 UTC 2017

elimination Pie Chart reality tv television - 5323218944 Graph by: FandomTheory Tagged: elimination , Pie Chart , reality tv , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The OS X Problem

Thursday 14 December 8:56:30 UTC 2017

apple computer cool feline mac os x problem - 6233434112 Graph by: (via xkcd) Tagged: apple , computer , cool , feline , mac , os x , problem Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons to use Comic Sans font

Thursday 14 December 8:56:28 UTC 2017

comic sans font never use no excuse Pie Chart - 3754201088 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: comic sans , font , never use , no excuse , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Thereby Interrupting the Meaningful Life Lesson He Was About to Learn

Thursday 14 December 8:56:27 UTC 2017

doctor house Pie Chart television - 4878672128 Graph by: dodotox Tagged: doctor , house , Pie Chart , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Understand Your Various Fonts

Thursday 14 December 8:56:25 UTC 2017

best of week comic sans fonts language - 6095727872 ` Graph by: ultimatum1895 (via Cracked) Tagged: best of week , comic sans , fonts , language Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sssssssunrisssssse…

Thursday 14 December 8:56:24 UTC 2017

pie charts minecraft creepers graphs funny - 4488228352 Graph by: Loekiedema Tagged: pie charts , minecraft , creepers , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Cool Are the Boys in Blue…

Thursday 14 December 8:56:22 UTC 2017

The Wire Bar Graph coolness TV police officer - 6977396480 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: The Wire , Bar Graph , coolness , TV , police officer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Reason I Loved the Atkins Craze

Thursday 14 December 8:56:21 UTC 2017

diet food lettuce venn diagram - 4878435584 Graph by: (via aisthetes.tumblr.com) Tagged: diet , food , lettuce , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » God Forbid You Post Something Helpful

Thursday 14 December 8:56:19 UTC 2017

answers forums helpful Pie Chart problems Tech - 5501767936 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: answers , forums , helpful , Pie Chart , problems , Tech Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Derping Through Life

Thursday 14 December 8:56:16 UTC 2017

skills life derping Pie Chart - 6757905152 Graph by: awesometown Tagged: skills , life , derping , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Venn Diagram of Deliciousness

Thursday 14 December 8:56:13 UTC 2017

eggnog christmas milk eggs holiday venn diagram - 6850843904 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: eggnog , christmas , milk , eggs , holiday , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Also, When I Realize I'm Out of Clean Towels

Thursday 14 December 8:56:12 UTC 2017

bathroom Pie Chart towel - 5414478080 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bathroom , Pie Chart , towel Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why Do You Want to See Our Children Cry?

Thursday 14 December 8:56:08 UTC 2017

adults sad movies children Pie Chart - 6865099264 Graph by: Dr.Deplorable Tagged: adults , sad movies , children , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Was the First CD I Ever Bought

Thursday 14 December 8:56:05 UTC 2017

bad times in music lou bega mambo number five - 4780786688 True story. Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: bad times in music , lou bega , mambo number five Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » We Don't Know What You're Saying

Thursday 14 December 8:56:04 UTC 2017

interviews know-what-im-saying Pie Chart rappers - 6362731520 Graph by: LizzyKuro Tagged: interviews , know-what-im-saying , Pie Chart , rappers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Want to Be Famous?

Thursday 14 December 8:56:02 UTC 2017

best of week fame famous life skill - 5450263808 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , fame , famous , life , skill Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Evilness according to people

Thursday 14 December 8:56:01 UTC 2017

adolf hitler Bar Graph evil jerk josef stalin kanye west nice normal saint satan serial killer - 3309664768 Graph by: kittybird Tagged: adolf hitler , Bar Graph , evil , jerk , josef stalin , kanye west , nice , normal , saint , satan , serial killer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Burnt Tongue is the Sign of a True Coffee-Addict

Thursday 14 December 8:55:57 UTC 2017

beverages food coffee Chart too hot - 7939629056 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: beverages , food , coffee , Chart , too hot Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Star Wars

Thursday 14 December 8:55:56 UTC 2017

darth vader Death Star facts infographic movies nutshell space star wars - 4518510080 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: darth vader , Death Star , facts , infographic , movies , nutshell , space , star wars Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How to Gentlemen Up Your Bow Tie Game!

Thursday 14 December 8:55:55 UTC 2017

fashion guide bowtie How To - 7954046976 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: fashion , guide , bowtie , How To Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Take Care to the River

Thursday 14 December 8:55:54 UTC 2017

talking heads Music Drake lyrics - 7836435200 Submitted by: (via theoldreader.com) Tagged: talking heads , Music , Drake , lyrics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Stupid Brain

Thursday 14 December 8:55:53 UTC 2017

brain sleep nap Pie Chart - 5365064704 Graph by: doctersoup Tagged: brain , sleep , nap , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People shop while playing loud music on their cell phones because they…

Thursday 14 December 8:55:52 UTC 2017

annoying cell phones douchebags headphones hip hop loud Music shopping - 2107659520 Graph by: TheCapm Tagged: annoying , cell phones , douchebags , headphones , hip hop , loud , Music , shopping Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trumpers are "taking the culture back" by giving Starbucks money… again [Fail]

Thursday 14 December 8:52:34 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yes, yes, new New Star Cores thingy. Before you head off to stand in line for 8 hours in a silly costume to see Jar Jar fight the Klingons and a couple of hundred walking toy commercials, take the Weird News Quiz 12/3-12/8 Merchandising Edition [Sill

Thursday 14 December 8:39:46 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gawker alumni start crowdfunding to outbid Peter Thiel for control of Gawker's archives. Link goes to the Kickstarter campaign. Support the lesser evil [Plug]

Thursday 14 December 7:31:24 UTC 2017

Plug [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Any ATM is a drive thru if you try hard enough [Scary]

Thursday 14 December 7:29:43 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police were looking for a 40-year-old suspected in a stabbing. They couldn't find her, but since they were there, figured they'd handcuff an 11-year-old girl at gunpoint [Asinine]

Thursday 14 December 6:37:32 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [133 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Peace and Quiet

Thursday 14 December 6:25:45 UTC 2017

Most of the inhabitants of Colma, California, are dead. When a fast-growing San Francisco outlawed new interments in 1900, and then evicted its existing cemeteries two years later, nearby Colma became the city’s burying ground. Over the following 30 years, thousands of bodies were carted here from their former resting places in the city — the Catholic Holy Cross cemetery … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who brings lube, Sprite and chicken alfredo to attract a minor for sex? When you see the mugshot you'll know it's this guy [Weird]

Thursday 14 December 5:38:45 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 658: "Foods". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 14 December 5:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A sloth at the Animal World and Snake Farm Zoo in Texas has given birth to a baby sloth. The zoo is having a contest to choose a name for the baby. Difficulty: No SlothyMcSlothface [Sappy]

Thursday 14 December 4:28:25 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hero two-year-old brother jumps in to beat up his older sister's wrestling opponent after he thought she was in a real fight [Cool]

Thursday 14 December 4:03:25 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More college presidents than ever before have joined the Millionaire's Club, which should give you some comfort and pride as you struggle to pay back your student loans [Murica]

Thursday 14 December 4:02:09 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So you want to attract hummingbirds to your garden, eh? Try flying the Canadian flag [Amusing]

Thursday 14 December 3:13:25 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who gained fame for crude Rick and Morty courtroom exchange gets life, also goes to prison [Followup]

Thursday 14 December 2:43:25 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "You want something to eat before your flight?" "No thanks, I'm sure I can get a bite on the plane" [Strange]

Thursday 14 December 2:30:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Airbus test crew and German air traffic control to Navy pilots drawing a dick in the sky: hold our Glühwein and watch this [Cool]

Thursday 14 December 2:13:25 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That guy working on the ATM for four hours may not be there to fix it [Obvious]

Thursday 14 December 1:43:25 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » University College London said it chose its words 'very poorly' when it tweeted are you "Dreaming of a white campus"? when they were referring to snow [Obvious]

Thursday 14 December 1:13:25 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop a Farkworthy Christmas tree [Photoshop]

Thursday 14 December 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pieces of US military helicopters keep falling on schools in Okinawa [Scary]

Thursday 14 December 0:43:25 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida's Polar Express is when a freight train halves a stalled semi filled with shrimp & bacon; "Some people are so hungry they'll wash it off. Everybody needs something. It's Christmas" [Florida]

Thursday 14 December 0:13:25 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [50 comments] [Link]

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