John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » We replaced this package sitting on a front porch with a box rigged with firecrackers. Let's see if anyone notices [Amusing]

Monday 11 December 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I will kill everybody on this plane" – quote from (a) terrorist, (b) suicidal pilot, (c) Oregon woman who was busted for smoking in the lavatory [Scary]

Monday 11 December 23:38:24 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What do you do with a drunken sailor? 10 1/2 pounds of Meth said the jailer? Bonus PSA – never look up spiced rum on Urban Dictionary [Fail]

Monday 11 December 23:20:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man learns the hard way that the phrase "don't pour gasoline on a fire" is not just an idiom [Florida]

Monday 11 December 23:08:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Cocoa turns electrical boxes into art.' That's nothing, you should see what it can do to milk [Florida]

Monday 11 December 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The official Vladimir Putin 2018 calendar is out [Giggity]

Monday 11 December 22:00:05 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We've finally found out what happened to Obama's Magic Weather Machine. It turns out that Kim Jong Un has it. Thanks Obama [Amusing]

Monday 11 December 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these stalks [Photoshop]

Monday 11 December 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baby milk maker issues global recall over salmonella fears. See, this is why you have to practice food safety when milking babies [Sick]

Monday 11 December 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Convicted serial killer Todd Kohlhepp says there are many more victims who have not been discovered and he's in no mood to talk about them [Followup]

Monday 11 December 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Comic strip assignment about Hitler's rise raises questions at Gurnee school. Like, was Hitler really a pony? [Fail]

Monday 11 December 19:50:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Port Authority bomb suspect rode subway from Brooklyn to Manhattan blast site [Followup]

Monday 11 December 19:18:22 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Update: No one can figure out what the fark is going on with the Kimberly Jones/bullying/MMA/racism mashup on Facebook and Instagram [Followup]

Monday 11 December 19:07:56 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [297 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to become famous by recording viral videos of yourself doing dangerous stunts on tall buildings? Just remember, for every skyrocketing star, there's one going down quickly [Scary]

Monday 11 December 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [148 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone fetch my fainting couch: Yet another scary Russian military program is probably vaporware [Obvious]

Monday 11 December 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Monday 11 December 18:08:22 UTC 2017

anfractuous
adj. winding, sinuous, involved quomodo
n. the manner, way, or means flagitate
v. to entreat earnestly planiloquent
adj. plain-speaking In a 1993 New York Times article lamenting the obscurity of scholarly writing, University of Colorado history professor Patricia Nelson Limerick cited this passage from Allan Bloom’s Closing of the American Mind as an example of indecipherable prose: If openness … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet the 8th highest-grossing YouTube "star," a 6-year-old who earned $11 Million un-boxing and playing with toys. Also, BareFark is still a bargain at $2.50 a month [Unlikely]

Monday 11 December 17:50:06 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: It's time to vote… for Fark headlines [FarkBlog]

Monday 11 December 17:45:08 UTC 2017

FarkBlog [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #340

Monday 11 December 16:29:23 UTC 2017

Sexy zebra endorses nylons.

Original ad here.

UPDATE: alas, ad now behind a paywall since I found it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Saudi Arabia is going to test the Theory of Slippery Slopes by allowing movie theaters, women to drive [Cool]

Monday 11 December 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this couple necking [Photoshop]

Monday 11 December 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's surge pricing and then there's yougottabefarkingkiddingme pricing [Fail]

Monday 11 December 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California wildfires are now larger than Boston and New York City, but how many Rhode Islands is that? [Scary]

Monday 11 December 13:20:07 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Explosion at Manhattan bus terminal. On the left, not much information. Jumping to conclusions on the right [NewsFlash]

Monday 11 December 12:56:09 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [508 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three years after threatening to press charges against an engineer for doing math without a license, the Oregon State Board of Examiners for Engineering and Land Surveying finally has the good sense to be embarrassed and drop the whole thing [Followu

Monday 11 December 12:51:33 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Wearable Furniture

Monday 11 December 12:46:53 UTC 2017

It needs a lampshade-hat to round out the look.

via incrediblethings.com [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California running out of prisoners to fight its wildfires. In other news, California uses prisoners to fight wildfires [Strange]

Monday 11 December 12:38:51 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman accused of stealing 144 bottles of nail polish. This will varnish her good name [Weird]

Monday 11 December 12:11:51 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What in the mother fark is a hit-skip in OHIOTUCKEY? Are these the same assholes who call soda, "pop" instead of Coke? [Misc]

Monday 11 December 11:29:52 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Every Chicago police officer is now equipped with a malfunctioning body camera [Spiffy]

Monday 11 December 11:10:16 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [38 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » When do my cats want to go outside

Monday 11 December 10:37:22 UTC 2017

bathroom Cats outside pets - 1398705920 LoL by: Bones_grey_rat Tagged: bathroom , Cats , outside , pets Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Age vs. % of Gray Hair

Monday 11 December 10:37:21 UTC 2017

age Anderson Cooper hair man - 1770505472 LoL by: Nuetch Tagged: age , Anderson Cooper , hair , man Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Grapham City Needs a Hero

Monday 11 December 10:37:20 UTC 2017

batman cells gotham na na na spreadsheet superheroes - 4586689536 No cell can contain him. Graph by: (via frogman) Tagged: batman , cells , gotham , na na na , spreadsheet , superheroes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » No, It Really Happened, Man!

Monday 11 December 10:37:14 UTC 2017

i lied Pie Chart Rage Comics true story - 5173341440 Graph by: jcorn Tagged: i lied , Pie Chart , Rage Comics , true story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Is There Anything You Can't Do?

Monday 11 December 10:37:13 UTC 2017

drawing food office supplies paper post-it notes stationary - 6419617280 Graph by: (via Keane Fine) Tagged: drawing , food , office supplies , paper , post-it notes , stationary Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time for an Update To the Traffic System

Monday 11 December 10:37:06 UTC 2017

sand glass traffic lights hourglass - 7755017728 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: sand glass , traffic lights , hourglass Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » OCD Concerns

Monday 11 December 10:37:05 UTC 2017

worry circle worries ocd - 7683581952 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: worry , circle , worries , ocd Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When You're Gonna Die

Monday 11 December 10:36:59 UTC 2017

cancer Death life Line Graph old age - 6352086784 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cancer , Death , life , Line Graph , old age Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » American Football Explained

Monday 11 December 10:36:58 UTC 2017

sports venn diagram football - 7854473984 Get all your American-based sports and culture humor on Cheezburger's new site Americana! Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: sports , venn diagram , football Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Monday 11 December 10:36:56 UTC 2017

colors complimentary infographic learning primary - 3825114368 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: colors , complimentary , infographic , learning , primary Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Which One Are You?

Monday 11 December 10:36:52 UTC 2017

pedo bear Pie Chart pirates politicians - 5663046144 Graph by: HURRDURRDURP Tagged: pedo bear , Pie Chart , pirates , politicians Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My Games, Graphed

Monday 11 December 10:36:51 UTC 2017

game boy advance Bar Graph ds game boy 3DS graphs video games funny nintendo - 7541717760 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: game boy advance , Bar Graph , ds , game boy , 3DS , graphs , video games , funny , nintendo Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why I Didn't Understand Inception

Monday 11 December 10:36:50 UTC 2017

a-scene-within-a-peen bathroom Inception interesting movies venn diagram - 4305705216 Graph by: poscar Tagged: a-scene-within-a-peen , bathroom , Inception , interesting , movies , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hope It's Not Important

Monday 11 December 10:36:45 UTC 2017

fap texts Pie Chart - 7110399744 Graph by: Shannara13 Tagged: fap , texts , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just Too Busy

Monday 11 December 10:36:43 UTC 2017

flowchart fire busy - 7147859456 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: flowchart , fire , busy Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sensitivity of My Hearing VS. Circumstance

Monday 11 December 10:36:42 UTC 2017

graphjam parents situational humor traffic work - 1706330880 LoL by: wintermaiden Tagged: graphjam , parents , situational humor , traffic , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Glorified Loading Screen

Monday 11 December 10:36:41 UTC 2017

elevator loading mass effect Pie Chart video games - 5991838720 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: elevator , loading , mass effect , Pie Chart , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Guide to Plugging Things In in the Dark

Monday 11 December 10:36:34 UTC 2017

dark guide outlets - 7902637824 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: dark , guide , outlets Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When you threaten someone's life on Twitter, try not to show your license plate [Dumbass]

Monday 11 December 9:24:51 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I bet all you cynical asshats who said Trump only wanted to shrink Bear's Ears National Park because Obama created it feel really stupid now knowing that he's really shrinking it because the Uranium Mining Lobby ordered him to [Murica]

Monday 11 December 8:05:51 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Famous shirtless protester from Charlotte is now a City Councillor who oversees the police [Cool]

Monday 11 December 7:02:07 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 181: Operation Gunnerside

Monday 11 December 7:00:57 UTC 2017

During World War II, the Allies feared that Germany was on the brink of creating an atomic bomb. To prevent this, they launched a dramatic midnight commando raid to destroy a key piece of equipment in the mountains of southern Norway. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll remember Operation Gunnerside, “one of the most daring and … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That's one way to win an election. Not a very SUBTLE way, though [Obvious]

Monday 11 December 6:34:55 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Every farking year. You know this wouldn't happen if they'd just nail Him down [Sad]

Monday 11 December 5:00:00 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have you already purchased a Christmas tree this year? Here's why you probably paid more money for a smaller, uglier bush than you paid in past years [Interesting]

Monday 11 December 4:37:49 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From the mailbag: "Pretty sure Mary didn't have her bra showing at the birth of Jesus. Poor taste, Monsignor" [Followup]

Monday 11 December 3:32:01 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That time when the US Postal Service teamed up with the Navy to deliver 3,000 letters via a Regulus guided missile launched from a sub. Bonus: Trolling the USSR by sending them one of the commemorative letters [Cool]

Monday 11 December 3:14:55 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A family so lacking in morals that they've been compared to the Gallaghers from 'Shameless' are spending Xmas in jail due to their crimes. Fark: their neighbours are having a street party to celebrate. UF: Read the comments section [Amusi

Monday 11 December 2:27:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man was covered in blood and was armed with a fire poker to defend against 'they' who were trying to 'get him' [Weird]

Monday 11 December 1:27:02 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this vintage cycle [Photoshop]

Monday 11 December 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC may want to rethink that monorail salesman's pitch [Fail]

Monday 11 December 0:46:35 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chinese cabby does what any quick-thinking hero would do to save a suicidal man, he gets him drunk [Hero]

Monday 11 December 0:16:55 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [75 comments] [Link]

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