John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Taipei petition recommends repeat drunk drivers be stripped bare and caned, broadcast live on television. Show to be called "Live DT" [Strange]

Wednesday 6 December 23:41:54 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How about a game of tic tac toe instead? [Interesting]

Wednesday 6 December 23:00:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Researchers test bone fragments suspected to be Santa's, plan to issue warrant for elves [Strange]

Wednesday 6 December 22:40:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cthulhu's army strikes again: China to develop a 'jellyfish shredder' after getting tentacles stuck in its aircraft carrier's butt [Weird]

Wednesday 6 December 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A woman who has the phrase 'Eat Me' tattooed right above her groin now regrets her decision and says it's ruining her sex life. "People are like, I don't need instructions" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 6 December 22:10:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this guy shakin' it off [Photoshop]

Wednesday 6 December 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Long Haul

Wednesday 6 December 19:43:22 UTC 2017

Recognize this locomotive? You’ve almost certainly seen it before: Built in 1891, “Sierra No. 3” was adopted by Hollywood in 1948 and became “the most photographed locomotive in the world,” appearing in The Red Glove, The Terror, The Virginian, The Texan, Young Tom Edison, Sierra Passage, Wyoming Mail, High Noon, The Cimarron Kid, Kansas Pacific, The Moonlighter, Apache, Rage at … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman records video of postal truck driving erratically – "The postal worker swings her door open and shouts back: "I'm going to have my job forever!" She then laughs hysterically" [Unlikely]

Wednesday 6 December 18:50:05 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As of today, Steam will no longer accept bits of string as payment for games. Lint is still negotiable [Awkward]

Wednesday 6 December 18:40:05 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [309 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Airlines report more Farkers are flying than ever before [Dumbass]

Wednesday 6 December 18:38:34 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » DUI suspect drives the wrong way on a highway, dances on top of her car hood and flees on kid's scooter. Mugshot turns this trifecta into a grand slam [Dumbass]

Wednesday 6 December 18:16:45 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stolen baby returned. After 40 years. Which would technically make her a stolen middle aged woman [Sappy]

Wednesday 6 December 17:50:05 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Huge PENIS from Storm Caroline to stick it to Ireland, said to be going in cold and wet [Amusing]

Wednesday 6 December 17:38:33 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Orleans home decorates for Christmas by putting up large display of Rudolph's carcass being roasted over a fire [Creepy]

Wednesday 6 December 17:16:44 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The search is on for Zippy, the life-size elf that somebody stole from Deerfield, NH [PSA]

Wednesday 6 December 16:50:04 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh nothing, just Chinese news outlets publishing stories to inform people about ways to wash off radiation after Best Korea gets blown up [Scary]

Wednesday 6 December 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jealous of all the attention LA is getting, separate fires break out at Penn Station, Grand Central Terminal building; commuters describe heavy smoke. "It looked like heavy smoke," they said [News]

Wednesday 6 December 15:56:15 UTC 2017

News [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: "There's a volcano erupting in Bali." Public: "Yawn." News: "Millie Bobby Brown from 'Stranger Things' is trapped on the island." Public: "THIS IS SERIOUS. WHAT ABOUT SEASON 3" [Obvious]

Wednesday 6 December 15:53:50 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Useless rock sells for $6.5 million. Probably doesn't even keep tigers away [Stupid]

Wednesday 6 December 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lighthouse keeper learns what not to do in a wolf encounter [Scary]

Wednesday 6 December 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New fire threatens Getty Center and shuts down the 405 in Los Angeles. Commuters don't notice any difference. (But seriously folks, stay safe, this looks like another scary one – LA fire discussion thread here) [Scary]

Wednesday 6 December 15:14:02 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [198 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're thinking of leaving your girlfriend, you can choose a more opportune time than the day you win the lottery [Dumbass]

Wednesday 6 December 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [180 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Service dog in audience at performance of Cats: The stage cat was asking for it, she was making cat faces at me [Amusing]

Wednesday 6 December 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [90 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Official fog watchers

Wednesday 6 December 14:00:36 UTC 2017

I don't know why, but this seems like a very British type of job.

The High Point Enterprise – Feb 6, 1974

image source: onthewight.com [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop alternate memes into this living room [Photoshop]

Wednesday 6 December 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Adopt a dog for Christmas – remember it's a gift for their lifetime. It's Woofday Wednesday [Cool]

Wednesday 6 December 14:00:00 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 100 years ago today, Halifax explosion left a shattered city [Interesting]

Wednesday 6 December 13:50:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tennis instructor who took a 5-year-old's racket away from him and hit the child with it wants the charges dismissed because he was standing his ground against the kid [Florida]

Wednesday 6 December 13:20:06 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Time magazine's Person(s) Of The Year are The Silence Breakers, the women who started the Me Too movement. Just in time to watch Alabama elect a man who multiple women have accused of sexual assault [News]

Wednesday 6 December 13:07:59 UTC 2017

News [link] [301 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're not the only one who thinks it's odd that Donald Trump would be the one to help open a new Civil Rights museum in Mississippi. So does the NAACP [Strange]

Wednesday 6 December 12:09:00 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know that moment when you keep putting food into your mouth at an all-you-can-eat buffet until there's no more room in your cheeks but you just keep stuffing? This little bat feels your pain [Amusing]

Wednesday 6 December 11:27:03 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Great news, Farkers: The court says the police can't force you to masturbate for them, even with a warrant. Even if you're a minor [Interesting]

Wednesday 6 December 10:21:03 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [96 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #339

Wednesday 6 December 10:19:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

GraphJam » Just Once More, Please

Wednesday 6 December 9:50:25 UTC 2017

batteries control lazy Pie Chart remote television - 4982594560 Graph by: rumblejumble Tagged: batteries , control , lazy , Pie Chart , remote , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Think Nick Would Go For It?

Wednesday 6 December 9:50:22 UTC 2017

flow chart movies national treasure sequel - 4950458368 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: flow chart , movies , national treasure , sequel Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Know Everything About This Spring's New It Colour: Dazzling Blue

Wednesday 6 December 9:50:19 UTC 2017

blue fashion colour pantone - 7888235520 Graph by: neomam (via www.fashiongonerogue.com) Tagged: blue , fashion , colour , pantone Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Have to Leave; I'm Contagious

Wednesday 6 December 9:50:18 UTC 2017

Bar Graph Home Alone minecraft sick video games - 4828357120 Graph by: BobGiambra Tagged: Bar Graph , Home Alone , minecraft , sick , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Take It When You Can Get It

Wednesday 6 December 9:50:15 UTC 2017

girlfriend Pie Chart sexytimes time - 5263487488 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: girlfriend , Pie Chart , sexytimes , time Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chance of people believing an outrageous statement

Wednesday 6 December 9:50:11 UTC 2017

belief chance email friends internet oprah people science - 1824652032 LoL by: OriginalObe Tagged: belief , chance , email , friends , internet , oprah , people , science Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How I Write Research Papers

Wednesday 6 December 9:50:06 UTC 2017

school procrastination college Pie Chart - 7114419200 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: school , procrastination , college , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » California Seasons

Wednesday 6 December 9:50:05 UTC 2017

california earthquakes mudslides Natural Disasters wildfires - 1984065280 LoL by: EWAdams Tagged: california , earthquakes , mudslides , Natural Disasters , wildfires Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » With Explosions Like This Who Needs Plotline

Wednesday 6 December 9:50:03 UTC 2017

Pie Chart - 5482390272 Graph by: Xerophyte Tagged: Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Wednesday 6 December 9:50:00 UTC 2017

fight club jack daniels Line Graph the shining - 4008942592 Graph by: JT Thomas Tagged: fight club , jack daniels , Line Graph , the shining Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Run, Man!

Wednesday 6 December 9:49:59 UTC 2017

jorts anime graphs - 7783881472 Submitted by: BillyMcG Tagged: jorts , anime , graphs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The World That Gave Us Honey Boo-Boo

Wednesday 6 December 9:49:49 UTC 2017

graphs funny beauty pageant - 4499128064 Graph by: CarlyJoy Tagged: graphs , funny , beauty pageant Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Desperate Creeperbook

Wednesday 6 December 9:49:48 UTC 2017

facebook friends Pie Chart stalking Video - 4750409216 Graph by: nkugirl2015 Tagged: facebook , friends , Pie Chart , stalking , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » If Social Networks Were People

Wednesday 6 December 9:49:47 UTC 2017

facebook tumblr twitter websites - 5042983680 Submitted by: imnotjarry (via www.stumbleupon.com) Tagged: facebook , tumblr , twitter , websites Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What? They're Fun!

Wednesday 6 December 9:49:45 UTC 2017

best of week funbags gender swap guys lady parts Pie Chart - 5092565248 Graph by: godthefish Tagged: best of week , funbags , gender swap , guys , lady parts , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Hate to Tell You This, But I Don't Think It Works the Same Way

Wednesday 6 December 9:49:44 UTC 2017

Evolution Debate Pie Chart Pokémon science video games - 6400422400 Graph by: epicpilotguy Tagged: Evolution Debate , Pie Chart , Pokémon , science , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How to Look Your Best

Wednesday 6 December 9:49:43 UTC 2017

looking good haircut excercise dental hygeine Pie Chart - 6818325504 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: looking good , haircut , excercise , dental hygeine , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Turns Out Our Pet Cats Are All Dwarves

Wednesday 6 December 9:49:41 UTC 2017

Chart diagram Cats funny newspaper - 7611067904 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: Chart , diagram , Cats , funny , newspaper Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Ready and Raring to Go

Wednesday 6 December 9:49:40 UTC 2017

kids Line Graph sleep so early - 4772483328 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: kids , Line Graph , sleep , so early Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Biggest Fossil I've Ever Seen!

Wednesday 6 December 9:49:39 UTC 2017

africa dinosaur infographic map south america t rex - 3820997376 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: africa , dinosaur , infographic , map , south america , t rex Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Gucci Mane: Too Cool!

Wednesday 6 December 9:49:37 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 5801715456 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some people are uncomfortable with an ice cream parlor using a sexualized cow as its mascot. "A hyper-sexualized, obviously female cow with her ass upended and poking through a circle, tail raised up, waiting for what? I'm not sure" [Sill

Wednesday 6 December 9:39:03 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [192 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thorough investigation by the British Hindsight Department reveals Manchester terror attack could have been stopped [Followup]

Wednesday 6 December 9:18:06 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Missing 17-year-old girl found with 27-year-old coach after multi-state search. Situation could have been cleared up quickly if only the coach had asked the teenager's mother for permission to date [Florida]

Wednesday 6 December 8:23:44 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Homeless man offers to "watch' your car as you park near downtown Tampa restaurant at night. You ignore him. Q – What word does homeless man scratch on the hood of your automobile? [Florida]

Wednesday 6 December 7:21:53 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As God is my witness, I thought Santa Claus could fly [Florida]

Wednesday 6 December 6:57:51 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to own a 25-year-old business? It will cost you an essay, and $100 [Florida]

Wednesday 6 December 6:18:29 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can your employer require you to come to work naked? Hopefully not if you're a Fark admin [Silly]

Wednesday 6 December 6:15:37 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Recoupling

Wednesday 6 December 6:14:12 UTC 2017

From reader Dave Lawrence: What is notable about these 14 sets of words? accost commit launch deeded adhere heckle silent versed ampere arrive angers theses chance ascent tester stored chaste ascend tinder seeded cohere heckle silent versed debase mucked refile stress demure riffle silent versed endure shelve riling nested forego recess gossip needed herein advice resins stones rebate locket career … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finland, Finland, Finland…it's been a century [Cool]

Wednesday 6 December 5:55:50 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Naked Coffee owner confesses to stealing Old Soul Co. sign. Yes, if a naked man steals your soul, you're gonna need coffee from somewhere or other [Fail]

Wednesday 6 December 5:44:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "It's like, keep your hands to yourself. Like if you want to touch somebody, you have people on your side of the aisle that might like it. I don't," says State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe (R-ightstupid) [Murica]

Wednesday 6 December 4:59:32 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [185 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chinese urban planners switch to plan B with ten lane thoroughfare after stubborn apartment block owner halts progress by refusing to sell [Amusing]

Wednesday 6 December 4:48:33 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists, who've apparently never watched horror movies, plan to release genetically modified rats in Britian to help control rodents. Genetically modified cats, dogs, gorillas still in beta-testing [Strange]

Wednesday 6 December 3:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Spanking can lead to relationship violence, (and orgasm) study says [Interesting]

Wednesday 6 December 3:34:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Great news, DC farkers, you can finally drive on I-66 during rush hour without an electric car or two passengers…you know, if you can afford the $35 toll [Asinine]

Wednesday 6 December 3:18:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man accused of twin crimes of vandalizing mosque, wasting bacon [Florida]

Wednesday 6 December 3:02:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Steven Spielberg: Ben Bradlee was my neighbor for years in East Hampton. He and his wife, Sally, would come over and we would have these soirees [Obvious]

Wednesday 6 December 3:00:44 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man forced to cut Honduran vacation short after overbilling Social Security half a billion dollars [Fail]

Wednesday 6 December 2:46:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A fugitive shouting something about not killing his wife opens fire on cruisers outside of a Walmart. Eddie Wilson said to be shaken but uninjured [Scary]

Wednesday 6 December 2:30:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Next on Ow My Balls: Not moving out? How about a kick in the groin [Florida]

Wednesday 6 December 2:24:30 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We assume that if he gets the job, he'll only fight non-white fires [Obvious]

Wednesday 6 December 2:14:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you can read this headline, please step forward. Not so fast, Californians [Sad]

Wednesday 6 December 2:08:49 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Either a little English boy's waterproof camera has been found in Germany or the Royal Navy's reconnaissance office has had their budget slashed [Sappy]

Wednesday 6 December 1:58:04 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever wonder what happens to all those old Christmas trees that decorate Rockefeller Center? Jimmy Carter knows [Spiffy]

Wednesday 6 December 1:42:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Small medium at large [Spiffy]

Wednesday 6 December 1:26:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mount Agung update: still not erupting [Cool]

Wednesday 6 December 1:10:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Media screws-up again [Fail]

Wednesday 6 December 1:06:35 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I don't understand why. Like, what is the purpose of it? And basically I don't know what is it" [Strange]

Wednesday 6 December 1:04:45 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tennis, anyone? [Photoshop]

Wednesday 6 December 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Underwear bomber's skid marks trace straight to the CIA [Creepy]

Wednesday 6 December 0:59:50 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Papa Romano's pizza served with cheese, pepperoni, hepatitis A, and pineapple. Gross, who would want a pizza with pineapple on it? [Sick]

Wednesday 6 December 0:54:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bottomless buffet results in vomiting and diarrhea. Pants-wearing buffet has no problems [Fail]

Wednesday 6 December 0:43:48 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Milwaukee is turning into a real life Grand Theft Auto [Cool]

Wednesday 6 December 0:38:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Director of "A Christmas Carol" fired by DTC for inappropriate behavior, will get a visit tonight from 3 ghosts who will help him to change his ways [Creepy]

Wednesday 6 December 0:22:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Doctors said people who have smoked too much weed have been taken to hospital after suffering extreme bouts of 'scromiting' [Strange]

Wednesday 6 December 0:06:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Archive

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