John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » The high school where 100% of graduates got into colleges is also the one where 50% missed more than 30 days of classes, 20% missed more than 90 days, and the average SAT score was 782/1600 [Asinine]

Tuesday 5 December 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A mum-of-four drank 10 double vodkas, five double sambucas and tequila before she attacked two men in a pub. The obvious question: what's her Fark handle? [Interesting]

Tuesday 5 December 23:34:26 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tesco Vee is up to his old tricks, again. This time in West Virginia [Followup]

Tuesday 5 December 23:18:26 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm not sure what a "Stress Willy" is, but Amazon just sent one to a 9-year-old girl instead of a pack of stick-on gold letters [Fail]

Tuesday 5 December 23:04:19 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » University feared that fired Sandy Hook shooting truther professor would kill himself. Subby is scared that he won't [Obvious]

Tuesday 5 December 22:50:12 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Prison inmates give Washington State governor's mansion a makeover, because nothing says 'decorating for the holidays' like toothbrush shivs hanging over a festive bowl of pruno [Interesting]

Tuesday 5 December 22:36:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas cheerleader takes mime game to another level [Repeat]

Tuesday 5 December 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I mean, who *hasn't* wanted to bash Chuck E. Cheese's head in with a sledgehammer [Obvious]

Tuesday 5 December 22:05:03 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC's first green public school is generating four times as much garbage as it should [Ironic]

Tuesday 5 December 21:46:36 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » IOC says nyet to Russia in the 2018 Winter Olympics. In related news, Krusty the Clown to personally lose $44 million [News]

Tuesday 5 December 21:19:56 UTC 2017

News [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hamas declares "Day of Rage" on Friday to protest Trump, the Machine [News]

Tuesday 5 December 21:18:22 UTC 2017

News [link] [174 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Unbelievable record-breaking rainbow in Taiwan lasts for an amazing 9 hours, still no unbelievable pot of gold though [Weird]

Tuesday 5 December 21:11:53 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop the true meaning of Christmas [Photoshop]

Tuesday 5 December 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Feynman Ciphers

Tuesday 5 December 20:49:04 UTC 2017

In 1987, Chris Cole posted a message to the sci.crypt Usenet group: When I was a graduate student at Caltech, Professor Feynman showed me three samples of code that he had been challenged with by a fellow scientist at Los Alamos and which he had not been able to crack. I also was unable to crack them. I now post … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge rules bikini baristas can keep showing you a latte every morning [Giggity]

Tuesday 5 December 20:41:54 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Instagram adds content warnings for koala selfies, still no cure for duck faces [Strange]

Tuesday 5 December 20:11:53 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Those holiday laser light displays you have surrounding your home blind the fark out of pilots [PSA]

Tuesday 5 December 19:41:54 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NY family hiking on Thanksgiving stumbles upon perfect disk of ice spinning silently in the middle of the woods [Cool]

Tuesday 5 December 19:11:53 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are fair fights, there are unfair fights, and then there's pitting an A-4 Skyhawk against an F-22 [Cool]

Tuesday 5 December 18:40:44 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [156 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This Wednesday is the Centennial of the largest man-made explosion (2.9 kilotons) until the invention of Nuclear Weapons [Scary]

Tuesday 5 December 18:16:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy learns the hard way that a wood chisel isn't the best tool to use for popping pimples [Fail]

Tuesday 5 December 17:46:44 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Navajo Nation sues Trump over their right to Bear Ears, the often overlooked addendum to the second amendment [News]

Tuesday 5 December 17:41:20 UTC 2017

News [link] [161 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Disused storage cabinet at MIT turns out to be nuclear reactor [Interesting]

Tuesday 5 December 17:16:44 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New analysis of latest missile launch from Best Korea shows they may be using Iranian technology [Obvious]

Tuesday 5 December 17:14:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stealthy destroyer photographed leaving shipyard [Ironic]

Tuesday 5 December 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [168 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A dyslexic man developed and created a special font designed to make it easier for dyslexics to read, and it works [Hero]

Tuesday 5 December 16:46:45 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sh*t's on fire, yo: Jerusalem edition [News]

Tuesday 5 December 16:44:30 UTC 2017

News [link] [189 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California's on fire again [Scary]

Tuesday 5 December 15:01:19 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [179 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Internet completely baffled by mysterious vision of God's massive hands in the sky that is totally not a reflection of the dude taking the picture [Facepalm]

Tuesday 5 December 14:50:01 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [92 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Chained to a 4-ton block of marble

Tuesday 5 December 14:41:28 UTC 2017

Belgian artist Mikes Poppe recently chained himself to a four-ton block of marble and then attempted to free himself by chiseling away at it. His goal was to demonstrate how the "inescapable burden of history" imprisons artists.

Nineteen days later he gave up and asked to be freed, admitting that he had "underestimated the marble." Despite this, he said, "I … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this B-52 [Photoshop]

Tuesday 5 December 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Subby is going to jail [Awkward]

Tuesday 5 December 12:35:08 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What the country needs right now is secret police loyal only to Trump, run by Erik Prince and Oliver North [Scary]

Tuesday 5 December 12:27:22 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [303 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump lobbied a GOP delegate to change the GOP platform to water down support for the Ukraine. Senate Intelligence Committee to hear more from this delegate this week. House Intelligence Committee will try to jail delegate [Followup]

Tuesday 5 December 12:27:07 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » K. T. McPantsOnFire [Followup]

Tuesday 5 December 11:31:07 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to watch a woman steal an Amazon delivery, then get caught by a foul mouthed nanny? [Cool]

Tuesday 5 December 11:11:07 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good for her [Cool]

Tuesday 5 December 11:10:53 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The compelling case for repenting, quitting your job, and slacking off [Obvious]

Tuesday 5 December 10:51:08 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [57 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The Can Museum

Tuesday 5 December 10:44:00 UTC 2017

It seems to me that you could profitably waste many hours exploring The Can Museum.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » It turns out there is a massive, dark, wet, unexplored tunnel system hidden deep within Montreal, your mom [Cool]

Tuesday 5 December 10:28:08 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [36 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Textbooks? You Don't Actually Need Those, Do You?

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:21 UTC 2017

backpacks high school Line Graph school textbooks - 5472101888 Graph by: broncosfan63 Tagged: backpacks , high school , Line Graph , school , textbooks Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Gay Agenda

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:20 UTC 2017

business control gay mind privacy world - 2109117696 Graph by: Flautenpupie79 Tagged: business , control , gay , mind , privacy , world Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Didn't Have a Brick Separator

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:18 UTC 2017

pie charts lego graphs funny - 7545945088 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pie charts , lego , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Spelling Is Hard, Okay?

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:17 UTC 2017

attributes baby redneck similar - 5035695104 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: attributes , baby , redneck , similar Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wile E. Coyote's Budget

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:15 UTC 2017

acme birdseed budget medical bills signs umbrellas wile e coyote - 2244434176 Graph by: jspenguin Tagged: acme , birdseed , budget , medical bills , signs , umbrellas , wile e coyote Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Funiness of Lake names

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:14 UTC 2017

geography lakes - 1512742144 LoL by: PangeeSauce Tagged: geography , lakes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Rise From Your Coffin!

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:13 UTC 2017

altered beast cedric diggory coffin edward cullen Harry Potter Pie Chart twilight vampire - 4529776640 Graph by: noimaginationtocreateaname Tagged: altered beast , cedric diggory , coffin , edward cullen , Harry Potter , Pie Chart , twilight , vampire Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reason People Will See "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs"

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:12 UTC 2017

3-D acorn animation cartoons chase funny ice age kids laughs movies scrat - 2395053312 Graph by: Linkartist Tagged: 3-D , acorn , animation , cartoons , chase , funny , ice age , kids , laughs , movies , scrat Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Amounts of Snacks Eaten During Movies

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:11 UTC 2017

ads before cinema during eating junk food movies Pie Chart snacks theater - 2554466048 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: ads , before , cinema , during , eating , junk food , movies , Pie Chart , snacks , theater Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time Spent Playing CoD Multiplayer

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:10 UTC 2017

call of duty gaming lag - 7653806848 Graph by: APPLEZACKS Tagged: call of duty , gaming , lag Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What time I plan to get up vs. What time my 3-year-old son wakes up

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:07 UTC 2017

Bar Graph child morning parents school sleep son wake up - 2599784704 Graph by: jksterup Tagged: Bar Graph , child , morning , parents , school , sleep , son , wake up Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Check Out My Portfolio on Tumblr

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:06 UTC 2017

cameras nikon photographers Pie Chart portfolio teenagers tumblr - 4437449984 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cameras , nikon , photographers , Pie Chart , portfolio , teenagers , tumblr Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Hero With a Thousand Faces

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:05 UTC 2017

awesome literature nerdy tropes - 4868251648 Graph by: (via computersherpa.deviantart.com) Tagged: awesome , literature , nerdy , tropes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Stand-up Comedy

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:04 UTC 2017

comedians dane cook funny stand-up comedy TV - 2666251520 Graph by: noisypeter Tagged: comedians , dane cook , funny , stand-up comedy , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Shopping Cart Distribution

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:02 UTC 2017

perfect shopping wheels - 1686716160 LoL by: Defiant Tagged: perfect , shopping , wheels Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Mmmm, Pie….

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:01 UTC 2017

cherry custard nom pie super realistic venn diagram - 3845964800 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cherry , custard , nom , pie , super realistic , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Application Trolling

Tuesday 5 December 10:19:00 UTC 2017

save unexpected troll application - 7742691584 Graph by: Bruce_Benjamin_Stark Tagged: save , unexpected , troll , application Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: The Perfect Message

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:57 UTC 2017

classic cpr instructions - 6618354944 Submitted by: Vytheros (via Pleated-Jeans) Tagged: classic , cpr , instructions Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They Sound Angry, But I Can't Put My Finger on Why

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:55 UTC 2017

german movies Pie Chart villains - 6245921792 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: german , movies , Pie Chart , villains Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Shopping List: milk, eggs, bread

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:54 UTC 2017

food men milk shopping women - 1820795648 LoL by: aardvarkage Tagged: food , men , milk , shopping , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It Doesn't Get Any Better

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:51 UTC 2017

high-school-sleep social life study venn diagram - 6497461760 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: high-school-sleep , social life , study , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » He Loves His Chewy Toy

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:48 UTC 2017

chewbacca chewy dogs noises Pie Chart star wars wookie - 4406999040 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: chewbacca , chewy , dogs , noises , Pie Chart , star wars , wookie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Composition of my 25 page research paper.

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:46 UTC 2017

abstract books college material paper research university websites wikipedia - 2112829184 Graph by: dantae88 Tagged: abstract , books , college , material , paper , research , university , websites , wikipedia Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You've Probably Never Read It

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:45 UTC 2017

best of week college english hipster major Movie read truancy story venn diagram - 5640431104 Graph by: greenwatches Tagged: best of week , college , english , hipster , major , Movie , read , truancy story , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Alcohol vs. Regret

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:44 UTC 2017

alcohol bad decisions booze Line Graph regret - 6119651840 Graph by: (via Life Would Be Much Easier as a Turtle) Tagged: alcohol , bad decisions , booze , Line Graph , regret Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Winging It

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:43 UTC 2017

improvisation Pie Chart preparation - 4551727104 Graph by: Irhaslegendaryswordlol Tagged: improvisation , Pie Chart , preparation Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Dropped Plate

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:41 UTC 2017

plate pie graph - 7775090176 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: plate , pie , graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Ramen Noodle Consumption

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:40 UTC 2017

college consume day food lunch ramen noodles summer - 1849579776 LoL by: TheAtarian1 Tagged: college , consume , day , food , lunch , ramen noodles , summer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Dawkins RAGEEE!!!

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:39 UTC 2017

Bar Graph controversy evolution richard dawkins science what does the internet th - 6073021696 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , controversy , evolution , richard dawkins , science , what does the internet th Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Read It on the Internet so It Must Be True

Tuesday 5 December 10:18:38 UTC 2017

internet Line Graph misleading reading true facts - 6214307840 Graph by: someone124 Tagged: internet , Line Graph , misleading , reading , true facts Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good: Charity to expand. Bad: Chittenden Emergency Food Shelf of Burlington, VT: "We've never seen so many people telling us they are needing more" after 50,000 visit over past year alone [Murica]

Tuesday 5 December 9:28:16 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Explore Minnesota Garbage [Spiffy]

Tuesday 5 December 8:50:39 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rock being moved because people keep driving into it [Stupid]

Tuesday 5 December 8:01:31 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Pence Pleads Ignorance" to absolutely everything everyone around him said and did [Facepalm]

Tuesday 5 December 7:39:41 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Eh

Tuesday 5 December 6:15:15 UTC 2017

Tenth-century merchant captain Bjarni Herjólfsson spent his summers trading in Scandinavia but returned to his native Iceland each winter to visit his parents. In 986 he was told that his father had sailed to Greenland with Erik the Red, so he followed them west. Lacking a map or a compass, he was blown off course by a storm, and when … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Illegal immigration is expensive. Includes state by state expenditures [Scary]

Tuesday 5 December 6:14:27 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » RIP Robert Baratheon [Fail]

Tuesday 5 December 5:34:25 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » PSA: To all police agencies please note that it has been determined that wild animals such as moose will refuse to follow traffic signals thereby causing road havoc [Obvious]

Tuesday 5 December 5:01:25 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rich SF residents get their private street back [Followup]

Tuesday 5 December 4:53:48 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational electromagnetic railgun prototype that has cost taxpayers $500 million so far…for the last time because the project will be cancelled [Fail]

Tuesday 5 December 4:19:08 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Phase 1 of Cards Against Humanity's plan to stop Trump's border wall is complete as they have purchased a land along the border and retained a law firm that specializes in eminent domain [Spiffy]

Tuesday 5 December 3:50:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunk, yelling the strip club DJ is "anti-white racist", and shooting a gun in the parking lot is no way to go through life, son [Dumbass]

Tuesday 5 December 3:23:24 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, he certainly couldn't hold a 240-year-old message in his hands, what with the holes and all [Repeat]

Tuesday 5 December 3:05:58 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Your dog brings home some dead thing. Fark: Your dog brings home a human skull [Scary]

Tuesday 5 December 2:56:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man arrested for drawing school shooting on son's homework. No charges in connection with the crap drawn on his face [Florida]

Tuesday 5 December 2:50:00 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's probably never a great idea to steal someone's shoes, especially if you are on the jury and the shoes belong to an attorney who works at the court [Dumbass]

Tuesday 5 December 2:30:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Santa Claus whips it out at Holiday Boat Parade [Florida]

Tuesday 5 December 2:03:24 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey, remember that time on the bus when you took off your shoes and socks and the smell was so bad you got arrested? That was great [Sick]

Tuesday 5 December 1:36:44 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) the songs have a number in their title. At the end we'll have a mini tribute to Jim Nabors, 1 song as Gomer, another that showed off his exceptional baritone voice (Impossible Dream has been playe

Tuesday 5 December 1:17:32 UTC 2017

Live [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Important tip: your use of social media can negatively impact your career, even if you aren't using it at work, especially if, say you are a police officer and your comment on a video of a car attack on a crowd of protesters is "ha ha I love

Tuesday 5 December 1:10:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this terrific tin [Photoshop]

Tuesday 5 December 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Viagra factory in Ireland is giving every male in the town, including dogs, non-stop erections [Weeners]

Tuesday 5 December 0:43:24 UTC 2017

Weeners [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter – I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter [Florida]

Tuesday 5 December 0:16:44 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Archive

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