John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » For the last 16+ years The National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony has been a packed event, with standing room only. This year… not so much [Sad]

Friday 1 December 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In a lifetime of boneheaded moves, Trump is about to make his most moronic decision: To declare Jerusalem the capital of Israel. This would be a historic mistake [Asinine]

Friday 1 December 23:20:05 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [264 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Arizona desert [Photoshop]

Friday 1 December 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Pope finally says the word 'Rohingya'. Now all he has to say is the word 'Farker' and the world will be at peace [Followup]

Friday 1 December 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Group looking for perfect Christmas tree in woods finds partially naked kidnap victim. Good luck getting that person to stay in the tree stand all season long now [Cool]

Friday 1 December 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Sound and Sense

Friday 1 December 19:23:24 UTC 2017

In this passage from Tennyson’s Morte d’Arthur, the mail-clad Sir Bedivere carries his wounded king down to a lake by a narrow path along a cliff: Dry clash’d his harness in the icy caves
And barren chasms, and all to left and right
The bare black cliff clang’d round him, as he based
His feet on juts of slippery crag … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Idiots vow to #BoycottSanFrancisco on Twitter while simultaneously breaking said boycott by failing to look up where Twitter HQ is located [Dumbass]

Friday 1 December 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia is building an army of inflatable tanks and missile launchers. Inflatable bouncy castles across Europe in danger [Interesting]

Friday 1 December 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You may very soon be able to hunt frogs with a spear all year round in Michigan. Kermit looking into Kevlar [Murica]

Friday 1 December 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » T. Boone Pickens is selling his enormous Texas ranch complete with an airport for a mere $250 million. Come on, Farkers, let's all chip in a buy this so we can have a Fark Ranch [Interesting]

Friday 1 December 17:50:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Feds want Martin Shkreli's $2 million Wu-Tang Clan album [News]

Friday 1 December 17:41:46 UTC 2017

News [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In this uncertain age, it's good to know that solid citizens will stand up to do drug-fueled battle with the lizard people on President Trump's command [Scary]

Friday 1 December 17:20:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Soon, you too will be able to buy your own personal radiation shield, for a mere 2,849 Nuka Cola caps [Interesting]

Friday 1 December 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And this is why you don't go forging swords in your back yard on a windy day [Scary]

Friday 1 December 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're thinking that Matt Lauer should EABOD, he's one step ahead of you [Weeners]

Friday 1 December 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Weeners [link] [73 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Christophpher

Friday 1 December 15:21:40 UTC 2017

June 1996: A Danish mother, Pia Agergaard, won a 9-year court battle to be allowed to name her son Christophpher. The Danish courts had tried to prevent her using the unorthodox spelling, fearing it would have a detrimental effect on her son. They insisted she use Christopher or Christoffer instead.

Bismarck Tribune – June 13, 1996

In 2008, a Danish newspaper … [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Mystery Illustration 63

Friday 1 December 15:21:39 UTC 2017

I have erased the thing being sold in this ad. But what possible solution is being touted for this man's incredible distress and misfortune?

Answer is here.

Or after the jump. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ☞///||||||||||| [NewsFlash]

Friday 1 December 15:20:07 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [2225 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 4.1 earthquake hits the DelMarVa peninsula, reeking havoc on lawn chairs everywhere [Scary]

Friday 1 December 15:18:12 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunken parrots spewing foul language at you from a fermented parrot tree during a holiday party? It's more likely than you think [Amusing]

Friday 1 December 14:50:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "'Delivering white supremacy': Pizzeria apologizes for delivery driver's giant Confederate flag" [Facepalm]

Friday 1 December 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [178 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop the family cat getting into the Christmas presents [Photoshop]

Friday 1 December 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man visits 157 bars to write guidebook about Detroit's bars. Is clearly not a Farker as the article claims his liver is still intact [Cool]

Friday 1 December 13:50:09 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » All right, what can I ruin next? [Obvious]

Friday 1 December 13:05:43 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The White House is infested with vermin. It also has a mice problem [Sick]

Friday 1 December 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're having trouble thinking of a tasteless yet timely Christmas gift to give your employees, the Kushners are here to help [Asinine]

Friday 1 December 12:27:43 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brace yourself, religious fundamentalists: proof of Jesus showing his brother "the forbidden Greek teachings". But I'm sure it was only an experimental phase [Strange]

Friday 1 December 12:02:44 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [130 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Excuses to Eat Bacon

Friday 1 December 11:57:46 UTC 2017

best of week delicious bacon fatty food health infographic meat pig - 5830459136 All the facts you ever need to rationalize your meat-loving ways! Graph by: (via http://acidcow.com/) Tagged: best of week , delicious bacon , fatty , food , health , infographic , meat , pig Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Totally Know This One

Friday 1 December 11:57:45 UTC 2017

car mumbles Pie Chart radio singing along song - 6379089408 Graph by: Jaybow Tagged: car , mumbles , Pie Chart , radio , singing along , song Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » All That Soda Doesn't Help

Friday 1 December 11:57:44 UTC 2017

day horror movies pee Pie Chart soda - 5652999936 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: day , horror , movies , pee , Pie Chart , soda Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Explosions (With Some Story)

Friday 1 December 11:57:43 UTC 2017

explosion explosions Michael Bay Pie Chart transformers - 5390525440 Graph by: (via FilmDrunk) Tagged: explosion , explosions , Michael Bay , Pie Chart , transformers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't Be a Nerd

Friday 1 December 11:57:41 UTC 2017

book fair books kids Pie Chart toys - 5053741824 Graph by: andreaaaaaxoxoxo Tagged: book fair , books , kids , Pie Chart , toys Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Adorable and Delicious

Friday 1 December 11:57:40 UTC 2017

coffee cute stereotypes - 5016238336 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: coffee , cute , stereotypes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » There's Always That Slice

Friday 1 December 11:57:38 UTC 2017

meatballs onions pepperoni Pie Chart pizza selfish slices - 4555435776 Pizza chart, not pie chart. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: meatballs , onions , pepperoni , Pie Chart , pizza , selfish , slices Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Prepare Yourself for Star Wars Smell-O-Vision

Friday 1 December 11:57:37 UTC 2017

3d cgi episode 1 george lucas Pie Chart star wars - 5840138752 Graph by: G-Fails Tagged: 3d , cgi , episode 1 , george lucas , Pie Chart , star wars Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Swing and a Miss

Friday 1 December 11:57:36 UTC 2017

disney scar aladdin villain - 5188575232 Graph by: Cacti Tagged: disney , scar , aladdin , villain Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Putting Your Time to Good Use

Friday 1 December 11:57:35 UTC 2017

school finals grades test college Pie Chart - 6851945472 Source: Doghouse Diaries Graph by: Unknown Tagged: school , finals , grades , test , college , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Lyrical Themes of Morrissey

Friday 1 December 11:57:33 UTC 2017

Music morrissey Chart lyrics - 7879332608 Click the chart and see this interactive graph in full! Submitted by: (via brian ikeda) Tagged: Music , morrissey , Chart , lyrics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » what people think michael jackson is famous for…

Friday 1 December 11:57:32 UTC 2017

michael jackson Music pop pop stars - 1648819968 LoL by: Gllue22 Tagged: michael jackson , Music , pop , pop stars Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Gangnam Style For Math Nerds

Friday 1 December 11:57:29 UTC 2017

ROFL, in MY Razzi!? Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: gangnam style , math nerds , Music , Video , youtube Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons for Reading Movie Credits

Friday 1 December 11:57:27 UTC 2017

credits footage funny jobs movies names reading weird - 2146083584 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: credits , footage , funny , jobs , movies , names , reading , weird Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Guys Misspell 'Color'!

Friday 1 December 11:57:26 UTC 2017

an extra u British color Harry Potter limey Pie Chart - 4243587072 Graph by: TallyHo Tagged: an extra u , British , color , Harry Potter , limey , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Life Is Better This Way

Friday 1 December 11:57:25 UTC 2017

diet venn diagram health - 7102144000 Graph by: hahamaster33 Tagged: diet , venn diagram , health Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That's a Jackpot I'd Rather Not Strike

Friday 1 December 11:57:24 UTC 2017

chances lottery Pie Chart - 7960175360 Graph by: markot9 Tagged: chances , lottery , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time To Whip Out the Paperclip Assistant

Friday 1 December 11:57:23 UTC 2017

file windows document - 7764942848 Graph by: aj1152 Tagged: file , windows , document Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Put the 'Trivial' in "Trivial Pursuit"

Friday 1 December 11:57:22 UTC 2017

best of week games Pie Chart trivial pursuit - 5764358912 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , games , Pie Chart , trivial pursuit Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Jay-Z Has Caused Most of my Problems

Friday 1 December 11:57:19 UTC 2017

99 problems girlfriends relationships Pie Chart Jay Z - 6891314432 Graph by: Toban0 Tagged: 99 problems , girlfriends , relationships , Pie Chart , Jay Z Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Evolution of FMA Memes

Friday 1 December 11:57:17 UTC 2017

Memes chimera full metal alchemist - 7652254464 Graph by: ParanoidPegasus Tagged: Memes , chimera , full metal alchemist Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Big Bang Theory IRL

Friday 1 December 11:57:10 UTC 2017

big bang theory college IRL physics Pie Chart truancy story - 5580059392 Graph by: FearRegret Tagged: big bang theory , college , IRL , physics , Pie Chart , truancy story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Problem With Steampunk

Friday 1 December 11:57:09 UTC 2017

Steampunk characters - 7681902592 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Steampunk , characters Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Rise of Online Video

Friday 1 December 11:57:06 UTC 2017

Submitted by: (via Know Your Meme) Tagged: infographic , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » who likes long car rides

Friday 1 December 11:57:03 UTC 2017

Bar Graph car cars dogs drive kids like long parents rides - 2892724224 Graph by: Pikaball Tagged: Bar Graph , car , cars , dogs , drive , kids , like , long , parents , rides Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And Now Everyone's Staring at Me

Friday 1 December 11:57:01 UTC 2017

Bar Graph loud public sneezing - 6576417536 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , loud , public , sneezing Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Carrot Top

Friday 1 December 11:57:00 UTC 2017

carrot top chuck norris comedy - 1392976640 LoL by: Luke.b Tagged: carrot top , chuck norris , comedy Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: Nothing…

Friday 1 December 11:56:59 UTC 2017

friends food Pie Chart giving - 6746751488 Graph by: Dashtep_Pony Tagged: friends , food , Pie Chart , giving Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Look, we're gonna have guns and so of course there'll be mass shootings it's the price we gotta pay so the only remaining problem is the whiners. That's why we gotta go after the victims. They're screwing this shiat up [Murica]

Friday 1 December 10:38:43 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Attention: Do not name your wi-fi network "Bomb on Board", "Osama da Bomba", or "Discount Shoe Bomber" while traveling on an airplane [Stupid]

Friday 1 December 10:21:33 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This year's annual "Must-Have Christmas Toy Being Sold for Exorbitant Prices on the Web" article brought to you by…finger puppets? Really? [Silly]

Friday 1 December 9:05:44 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Green Berets are revolting, and the army wants to know why [Interesting]

Friday 1 December 8:22:46 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're going to hit and run, don't run with the victim on your hood [Dumbass]

Friday 1 December 7:20:02 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It took a complaint for Wally World to realize a t-shirt that said "Rope. Tree. Journalist" wasn't all that funny [Sick]

Friday 1 December 6:51:50 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Please Help!

Friday 1 December 6:41:28 UTC 2017

Futility Closet is a full-time endeavor for me, and the website is supported entirely by its readers. If you value this site, please consider making a contribution to help keep it going. You can make a one-time donation on our Support Us page, or you can pledge a monthly contribution to get bonus posts and other rewards. Thanks for your … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Matt Lauer evidently isn't finished showing people his balls; Is said to be asking for $30M in severance [Unlikely]

Friday 1 December 5:11:05 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A homeless man will remain in San Francisco [News]

Friday 1 December 4:52:51 UTC 2017

News [link] [392 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Fort Worth Police Department has come out with a third Star Wars themed recruiting video [Followup]

Friday 1 December 3:46:45 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember when there was only one breed of subway rat? [Scary]

Friday 1 December 3:16:45 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 10 amazing reasons why big tech should subsidize real journalism. You won't believe what happens next [Interesting]

Friday 1 December 2:46:45 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Better sit down for this: NBC might– Actually, put your head between your knees. NBC– Better breathe into this bag. Ready? NBC might have quashed its own story about Weinstein because they were afraid it would eventually expose Matt Lauer [Obvious]

Friday 1 December 2:19:11 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Deputies investigate suspicious death of man in truck near Sweet Home. Officials suspect victim may have taken it off a Sweet Jump [Sad]

Friday 1 December 2:16:45 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » SoCalGas finds origin of strong smell in West Los Angeles: It was West Los Angeles [Misc]

Friday 1 December 1:54:24 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 164 Pomeranians found in Vegas truck, and most asking to make collect calls for some reason [Sappy]

Friday 1 December 1:46:45 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Truth and Purity

Friday 1 December 1:43:41 UTC 2017

In 2014 England’s University of Sheffield unveiled “the world’s first air-cleansing poem,” four stanzas by literature professor Simon Armitage that are printed on a 10-by-20-meter panel coated with particles of titanium dioxide that use sunlight and oxygen to clear the air of nitrogen oxide pollutants. “This is a fun collaboration between science and the arts to highlight a very serious … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember the Navy pilot that drew a penis, that's right a PENIS, in the sky with his jet? Well here's the Christmas ornament we've all been waiting for. Penis. SKY PENIS. CHRISTMAS NAVY SKY PENIS [Cool]

Friday 1 December 1:40:10 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Argonne National Laboratory uses particle accelerator to peer inside ancient mummy of little girl, then run for Senate in Alabama [Interesting]

Friday 1 December 1:16:45 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this hard-working tree-chucker [Photoshop]

Friday 1 December 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How to do away with Beijing's never-ending terrible smog problem? Have 15 million people with handheld fans blow it away. BRILLIANT [Facepalm]

Friday 1 December 0:46:45 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Goodwill employee sorts through a donation box, finds ugly sweater, bell bottom jeans, hand grenade, ugly coffee mug….. wait, what? [Amusing]

Friday 1 December 0:16:45 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Archive

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