John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » This Thanksgiving….shop early. Travel early. Cook early. Fight early [Asinine]

Wednesday 22 November 23:20:05 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » PSA: When selling marijuana out of your house, Facebook is not the best place to advertise. A police spokesman gives them "10/10 for entrepreneurial skills – 0/10 for intelligence" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 22 November 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arlo Guthrie, 18, of Howard Beach N.Y., pleaded guilty to illegal disposal of refuse. This is a repeat from November 29, 1965 [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 November 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [133 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Please note: while the Supreme Court has ruled that burning the flag of the United States is protected speech, you can't just run around setting other people's flags on fire [Florida]

Wednesday 22 November 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Quickie

Wednesday 22 November 21:17:29 UTC 2017

From Martin Gardner: Each of the two equal sides of an isosceles triangle is one unit long. How long must the third side be to maximize the triangle’s area? There’s an intuitive solution that doesn’t require calculus. SelectClick for Answer Rotate the triangle until one of the two equal sides is horizontal, as above. Then rotate the other side through … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who is Ajit Pai? Answer: a douchebag [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 November 21:15:11 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [147 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » LeVar Goldberg can't understand why people are attacking LeVar Burton [Followup]

Wednesday 22 November 21:11:02 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this pink poser [Photoshop]

Wednesday 22 November 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♪ Who's the leader of the club / that shoots missiles into the sea? / K – I – M – J – O – N – G – U – N ♪ [Strange]

Wednesday 22 November 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School faces controversy over teacher's take on the "Zombie-Based Learning" curriculum, in which students were asked to choose which three people get eaten first [Strange]

Wednesday 22 November 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boring layover at the airport? Just add Newfoundlanders [Spiffy]

Wednesday 22 November 19:50:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » See? This is why you need to save for retirement. So you don't end up getting arrested for running a prostitution ring from your retirement home [Fail]

Wednesday 22 November 19:20:06 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If a humpback dolphin sidles up to you and tries to give you a sponge, don't make eye contact unless you want to find out why they're named that [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 November 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently, police officers are not allowed to draw their weapons and wave them around for no reason [Florida]

Wednesday 22 November 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Soldier says "God was over me" after accident. Presumably He was driving the school bus [Facepalm]

Wednesday 22 November 17:50:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How many 6-year-olds could you take in a fight? Well, if you want to find out, the Pennsylvania school system is hiring teachers [Scary]

Wednesday 22 November 17:20:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dude gets KTFO for grabbing another man's ass on the Las Vegas Strip after being asked to stop. Naturally, police are looking for the "attacker," which they define as the guy who got his butt-cheek fondled and knocked the other guy out [A

Wednesday 22 November 16:50:05 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The U.S. Navy has located the missing Argentine submarine, now the race is on to get to the spot with as oxygen is due to run out imminently [Followup]

Wednesday 22 November 16:18:06 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Climate change has resulted in a butter shortage [Scary]

Wednesday 22 November 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're flying this Thanksgiving, get to the airport early as the TSA is implementing new screening rules that will take more time as they failed another screening audit [PSA]

Wednesday 22 November 15:20:06 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're a parent who's not monitoring all of your child's smart phone activity and controlling all their passwords, your child could die. In fact, your child could be dead already. He might have died just now, in fact, while you were re

Wednesday 22 November 14:50:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [157 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida women refuse to let a traffic jam make them late for twerk. Bonus: traffic jam caused by Trump's arrival at Mar-a-Lago [Florida]

Wednesday 22 November 14:20:06 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Acrophobia [Photoshop]

Wednesday 22 November 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Home for the Pawlidays. Atlanta Humane Society finds foster homes for its dogs for Thanksgiving. It's Woofday Wednesday [Cool]

Wednesday 22 November 14:00:00 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Desperately seeking ham [Hero]

Wednesday 22 November 13:50:05 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [60 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Ferrous Faucets

Wednesday 22 November 13:31:06 UTC 2017

Back in 1977, a small-time huckster named Eric Herrmann bought a bunch of old, porcelain Hot and Cold faucet handles and got the idea of selling them as necklaces.

On the theory that nothing sells like scandal, he called them "Ferrous Faucets," and then asked Farrah Fawcett to endorse them. In response, her lawyers threatened to sue him for capitalizing … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Corporation with big plans for any water found on Mars sending experiment to International Space Station on next resupply mission. Fark: It's Budweiser, and you better believe they have a mission patch [Spiffy]

Wednesday 22 November 13:26:33 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ten of the UK's twelve water companies admit to using divination to find leaks [Fail]

Wednesday 22 November 13:15:33 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Object spotted' on ocean floor in hunt for Argentinian sub. Difficulty: Last day of air [Followup]

Wednesday 22 November 13:05:21 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Feel mellow sipping a glass of wine? Discover untapped talent in singing and dancing when drinking tequila? Feisty after a rum & coke? Here comes the science [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 November 12:55:32 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Did no one notice the design before it was constructed? [Giggity]

Wednesday 22 November 12:25:33 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Women send explicit photos to female nurse posing as a male doctor. Confused? You won't be after this week's episode [Giggity]

Wednesday 22 November 12:20:40 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well on the bright side, at least the 7th fleet didn't crash a ship this time [News]

Wednesday 22 November 12:11:56 UTC 2017

News [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Initially, the homeowner reported a lighted reindeer, a snowman, and a Santa Claus had been stolen. The resident later found that the reindeer was not missing. It had, however, been placed into a lewd position with another reindeer" [Amusing

Wednesday 22 November 11:56:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » WeRateDogs is 14/10 for tolerating the family this holiday [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 November 11:43:32 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thanksgiving holiday is the biggest travel time of the year, here are the best times to drive and the airports that you're most likely to get arrested and dragged out of after going totally nuts [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 November 10:44:31 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because children can now legally hunt with firearms in Wisconsin, this kindergartner becomes the first to bag a buck thanks to those new terrifying rules [Murica]

Wednesday 22 November 10:19:32 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [100 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » On Horseback and By Highway: Administrative Facilities of the Wasatch-Cache National Forest, 1902-1960.

Wednesday 22 November 10:11:00 UTC 2017

It's been way too long since we set the Gold Standard of Boredom with the TIMBER BRIDGE INSPECTION video.

But maybe we can match it with this pamphlet. Feel free to read all 214 pages at the link.

[Link]

GraphJam » Mainstream Now Means Everyone Hates It

Wednesday 22 November 9:29:10 UTC 2017

Music pop Line Graph - 7851447296 Graph by: The_Meme_Maker Tagged: Music , pop , Line Graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Wizard Made It

Wednesday 22 November 9:29:08 UTC 2017

Bar Graph destruction fence spellcheck-much strength the wiz video games - 3996968192 Graph by: Tiger20777 Tagged: Bar Graph , destruction , fence , spellcheck-much , strength , the wiz , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: Blow It Up Already!

Wednesday 22 November 9:29:05 UTC 2017

explosions mythbusters Pie Chart - 5660644352 Graph by: Intyalle Tagged: explosions , mythbusters , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Shapes of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets

Wednesday 22 November 9:29:04 UTC 2017

boot chicken chicken nuggets circle fast food gross head McDonald's Pie Chart shape tombstone - 3598317056 Obviously, this is a breakdown of the shapes Chicken McNuggets come in. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: boot , chicken , chicken nuggets , circle , fast food , gross , head , McDonald's , Pie Chart , shape , tombstone Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Couple of Derps

Wednesday 22 November 9:29:01 UTC 2017

how people see me meat Owl statue twilight vampire wtf - 5148681984 Submitted by: beeeeeeeeer Tagged: how people see me , meat , Owl , statue , twilight , vampire , wtf Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hierarchy of Haters

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:57 UTC 2017

hierarchy of needs haters pyramid - 7041707776 Graph by: (via NYMag) Tagged: hierarchy of needs , haters , pyramid Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Punch Buggy!

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:55 UTC 2017

car games Pie Chart volkswagen VW - 4839741440 Graph by: themailman1230 Tagged: car games , Pie Chart , volkswagen , VW Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why I'm Single:

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:54 UTC 2017

single relationships - 6957904128 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: single , relationships Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » These Boots Were Made for Bumping

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:53 UTC 2017

boots furniture Pie Chart protecting shins - 4399769600 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: boots , furniture , Pie Chart , protecting , shins Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Periodic Table of Cupcakes

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:50 UTC 2017

best of week Chemistry cupcakes food periodic table science - 5873087232 Science Has Dropped Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , Chemistry , cupcakes , food , periodic table , science Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People's Reaction to Me Being an Art Student

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:45 UTC 2017

art draw dreams make money paint Pie Chart reaction student - 2662248960 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: art , draw , dreams , make , money , paint , Pie Chart , reaction , student Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Shortcuts Are Sometimes the Longest

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:43 UTC 2017

doghouse diaries Bar Graph lazy work - 7856325888 Submitted by: (via doghouse diaries) Tagged: doghouse diaries , Bar Graph , lazy , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » May the Charts Be With You

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:42 UTC 2017

best of week force movies Pie Chart star wars yoda - 5947880960 Graph by: D35TR0Y3R Tagged: best of week , force , movies , Pie Chart , star wars , yoda Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Either Way I Want Some

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:41 UTC 2017

currency india misconceptions Pie Chart rubies rupees zelda - 4376503808 Graph by: Jeremy5003 Tagged: currency , india , misconceptions , Pie Chart , rubies , rupees , zelda Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » the internet

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:39 UTC 2017

internet porn technology - 1385587456 LoL by: Unknown Tagged: internet , porn , technology Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Inspiration for K.A. Applegate

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:31 UTC 2017

animorphs blinking giraffes morph photographs Pie Chart - 4280704000 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: animorphs , blinking , giraffes , morph , photographs , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » *Whom, *Other's, *There

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:29 UTC 2017

grammar nazi their there theyre venn diagram - 5704219904 Graph by: SoaD_ftw36 Tagged: grammar nazi , their , there , theyre , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Items in college dorm rooms

Wednesday 22 November 9:28:24 UTC 2017

allowed college dorm items present room venn diagram - 2693093376 Graph by: toph3r818 Tagged: allowed , college , dorm , items , present , room , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Slate has found the cause of all sexual harassment: Men in bathrobes [PSA]

Wednesday 22 November 8:57:33 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Energy company calls deafening explosion and four story fireball that can happen anywhere at anytime, "extremely rare" [Followup]

Wednesday 22 November 8:42:34 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Walmart is Number 1, although I'm sure this is not the title they were shooting for [Obvious]

Wednesday 22 November 8:00:32 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman targeted for her Fark Trump sticker is now selling them. Follow Up tag is in line behind 65,844,954 Farkers waiting to buy one [Spiffy]

Wednesday 22 November 7:40:33 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman asks for funding for breast reduction. With handy picture of what K-sized melons look like [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 November 7:01:32 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Quick quiz: What do arthroscopic surgery to reduce shoulder pain and avoiding glutens have in common? [Obvious]

Wednesday 22 November 6:41:45 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Unsolved

Wednesday 22 November 6:33:19 UTC 2017

On June 30, 1999, the body of 41-year-old Ricky McCormick was discovered near a cornfield in West Alton, Missouri. He’d last been seen alive five days earlier; now he was 15 miles from home though he owned no car. In his pockets were two handwritten notes (click to enlarge): In the ensuing 18 years both the FBI’s Cryptanalysis and Racketeering … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In seeking the authorization to search the properties, police wrote that they became suspicious after internet searches that described "massages with happy endings" [Obvious]

Wednesday 22 November 6:28:20 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy wakes up blind one morning, goes on to work as victim advocate and open a karate school. Wilson Fisk could not be reached for comment [Hero]

Wednesday 22 November 5:52:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shakes the Clown doesn't actually shake things, he's more into squeezing [Creepy]

Wednesday 22 November 5:32:47 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FTA: 'Dressed in cargo pants and a yellow T-shirt, the man spent most of the day standing on the northwest corner of the roof, occasionally yelling and pointing his middle finger into the air.' [Dumbass]

Wednesday 22 November 5:22:16 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » God is forming a really weird band this week [Sad]

Wednesday 22 November 5:20:06 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There was a BIG gas explosion north of Detroit Monday night. Here's video of the sizable blast zone [Scary]

Wednesday 22 November 5:17:31 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newborn baby saves 2-year-old brother by: A) divine intervention; B) CPR; or C) being born [Spiffy]

Wednesday 22 November 4:53:26 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UCF sorority suspended for forcing new sisters "to 'chug' pitchers of alcohol" at local bar, which seems an impossible feat to survive, much less to find bars serving pitchers of pure grain alcohol [Florida]

Wednesday 22 November 4:26:59 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NASA is getting medieval on space exploration and adding chain mail to the tires of the Mars rovers [Spiffy]

Wednesday 22 November 4:18:27 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lawsuit by 450 Vegas shooting victims: This is all MGM's fault because they negligently failed to train their security staff as to what to do if a mass-murdering psycho with a cache of automatic weapons started firing on a crowd from their hotel

Wednesday 22 November 3:52:55 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is that a giant swastika under your gym shorts or are you just happy to see me dig up WWII garbage that doesn't go boom? [Awkward]

Wednesday 22 November 3:50:05 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In these dark times, we all need something like the USC marching band performing songs from Guardians of the Galaxy, transforming into a cassette tape, spaceship and baby Groot [Spiffy]

Wednesday 22 November 3:38:28 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family gatherings this holiday season will make for uncomfortable conversation for one family. "So, tell us again how you rolled your truck while drunk, then left your toddler at the scene" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 22 November 3:32:10 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In today's 'No shiat Sherlock' department: Don't eat spoiled turkeys from the trash [Obvious]

Wednesday 22 November 3:24:14 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man sells car to Craigslist contact for $6,200 in cash. Since you're reading this here, you can already guess that all those Franklins were actually Franglins [Fake]

Wednesday 22 November 3:20:05 UTC 2017

Fake [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Georgia dome implosion gets bus-blocked. This headline gets Urban Dictionaried [Repeat]

Wednesday 22 November 2:50:05 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida Man, fed up with dangerous drivers at one particular intersection, joins the crowd, deliberately drives head-on into SUV running stop sign. There. That'll teach 'em all [Florida]

Wednesday 22 November 2:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who doesn't drink receives 3rd OWI [Stupid]

Wednesday 22 November 1:58:45 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man running from the cops stops to pet cats and gets arrested. To be fair, this would probably snare at least 70% of Farkers, too [Florida]

Wednesday 22 November 1:50:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Amid all the sexual harassment in the entertainment industry, it's nice that we have Pixar as an example of…really? Crap [Sick]

Wednesday 22 November 1:20:05 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme – A stunt that Evel Knievel never would've attempted [Photoshop]

Wednesday 22 November 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The NYPD will SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING for the Thanksgiving Day Parade [Obvious]

Wednesday 22 November 0:50:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In the interest of science, groups of people were assigned to take cold showers. As a result, they missed less work, had more shrinkage [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 November 0:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Archive

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