John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Remember the Navy pilot that drew a penis, that's right a PENIS, in the sky with his jet? Well here's the video footage we've all been waiting for. Penis. SKY PENIS [Followup]

Tuesday 21 November 23:50:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Uber has had a security data breach that has affected 57 million people. Rather than let you know about it, Uber paid the hackers $100,000 not to use the data [Scary]

Tuesday 21 November 23:20:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're an Evangelical Christian whose wall proudly displays that fragment of the Dead Sea Scrolls that you bought, you just may have been duped (again) [Obvious]

Tuesday 21 November 22:50:06 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reading Rainbow's LeVar Burton bombarded with tweets from angry Trump fans who think he's LaVar Ball. If only they had some sort of devices to improve their vision [Facepalm]

Tuesday 21 November 22:45:46 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [189 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The New York Times discovers that free drinking water may be obtained in public places from a device known as a "water fountain." No, really [Asinine]

Tuesday 21 November 22:42:48 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A group of Iraqi hackers decided they could fight ISIS better than the government by inserting pornography into ISIS propaganda [Hero]

Tuesday 21 November 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scooby the camel gets loose but recaptured in Ohio. It said it was trying to run away from the ghosts it saw along with its stoner friend [Strange]

Tuesday 21 November 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man found dead in NYC homeless shelter with mystery demonic marking on back of head [Creepy]

Tuesday 21 November 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this bat wing [Photoshop]

Tuesday 21 November 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bikini baristas fight back against crack down. Isn't that what the bikini is for? [Followup]

Tuesday 21 November 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's school bus driver accused of driving drunk on the job is brought to you by Indiana [Asinine]

Tuesday 21 November 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » RIP to Farkette Morrisbird. Your humor and generosity will be missed [Sad]

Tuesday 21 November 20:09:36 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Good Boy

Tuesday 21 November 19:58:36 UTC 2017

Elisabeth Mann Borgese taught her dog to type. In her book The Language Barrier she explains that her English setter, Arli, developed a vocabulary of 60 words and 17 letters, though “He isn’t an especially bright dog.” “[Arli] could write under dictation short words, three-letter words, four-letter words, two-letter words: ‘good dog; go; bad.’ And he would type it out. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fiona watches hopefully through the glass, wishing that she, too, will meet the love of her life while at the Cincinnati Zoo's Hippo Exhibit [Sappy]

Tuesday 21 November 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pennsylvania man accused of beating his roommate to death over stolen beer told investigators he confronted his 58-year-old roommate about the Keystone Ice and fought with him, then left him lying on the floor and went to bed [Facepalm]

Tuesday 21 November 19:20:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » With Thanksgiving coming up, here are some helpful safety tips for those wanting to deep-fry a turkey. In other news, Fark braces for rash of 'Dumbass,' 'Fail,' and 'Florida' submissions [PSA]

Tuesday 21 November 18:50:04 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OMG bbwwhahahahah On no, poor….HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…Poor Yogi. That's HAHAHAHA That's a real Boo Boo, right there. *tears*. Tough guy tries to walk it off like a CHAMP. (Oh and you HAVE to read the comments) [Awkward]

Tuesday 21 November 18:35:53 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After an arduous battle with cancer, Farker too-old has passed away. RIP, old friend [Sad]

Tuesday 21 November 18:25:08 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [176 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Monkey Bread' top-searched term by Iowans, thankfully not on PornHub [Murica]

Tuesday 21 November 18:11:53 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption these model scientists [Caption]

Tuesday 21 November 18:00:01 UTC 2017

Caption [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian woman drives in car with massive spider "staring" at her for over 20 minutes (w/video) [Scary]

Tuesday 21 November 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » City bus photobombs Georgia Dome implosion [Followup]

Tuesday 21 November 17:41:29 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And here's how you can help stop the gutting of Net Neutrality [Followup]

Tuesday 21 November 17:19:40 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seeing a shortage of Christmas trees this year? Blame the small plantings after the 2008 recession, and the shortage of trucks created by hurricane relief work [Interesting]

Tuesday 21 November 17:04:21 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sometimes the Pot runs a world famous news site and writes articles about the Kettle. This guy's quote could be the alternate headline for every other news article they run [Ironic]

Tuesday 21 November 16:42:32 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FCC Chair tells agency to abandon net neutrality. This is a News Flash, but in the future, you won't know about it unless you paid the premium, biatch [NewsFlash]

Tuesday 21 November 16:41:37 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [362 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Zimbabwe's president Robert Mugabe resigns, hopefully setting precedent for U.S. [NewsFlash]

Tuesday 21 November 16:41:07 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If there's anything our local fire department doesn't need it is the negative image of its members all shirtless and flexing while holding rescue animals. Good thing the chief is putting a stop to that [PSA]

Tuesday 21 November 16:18:32 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Prescott Valley AZ police department is asking for your help in locating a Glock 19 9mm handgun, serial number YHC 944. It's not evidence in a crime or anything like that; it's just that the chief of police left it in a public bathroom [F

Tuesday 21 November 15:58:32 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British embassy cat in Jordan appointed chief mouser. How the cat got inside of him we may never know [Amusing]

Tuesday 21 November 15:38:32 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Whitefish stops 'working' on Puerto Rico power grid, claims it's owed $83 million [Facepalm]

Tuesday 21 November 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [165 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman who lost her legs after someone spiked her drink and left her on train tracks has a pretty good comedy act on Tinder [Hero]

Tuesday 21 November 15:06:58 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [178 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australians join together in unison to scream at US journalist Darren Rovell eating a meat pie with cutlery, because if there's one thing that brings people together it's someone enjoying food the wrong way [Amusing]

Tuesday 21 November 14:49:50 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Twitter: "What bots?" [Facepalm]

Tuesday 21 November 14:44:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman goes to the mall wearing nothing but body paint, pasties and a thong and you're gone. If anyone is still here, I would like to recite a poem I wrote. It's called "Ode to a Green Lump of Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morni

Tuesday 21 November 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [156 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: Classic (or modern) film posters using Lord of the Rings characters [Photoshop]

Tuesday 21 November 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turkeys causing a ruckus in San Francisco. So it begins [Scary]

Tuesday 21 November 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump administration can't even beat one judge. Order cutting funding to sanctuary cities permanently blocked [Followup]

Tuesday 21 November 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [80 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Skiing Mt. Everest

Tuesday 21 November 12:57:03 UTC 2017

May 6, 1970: Japanese extreme skier Yuichiro Miura became the first person to ski on Mt. Everest. And amazingly, he didn't die. The stunt was filmed and was the subject of a 1975 documentary, The Man Who Skied Down Everest. Check out the clip below.

Miura later became the oldest person to reach the summit of Everest, climbing it at … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This party is LIT [Scary]

Tuesday 21 November 12:06:55 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The wealthy people of Houston whose homes filled with water when the federal govt. acted to avoid a dam failure are not particularly supportive of the whole "flooding the few to save the many" strategy [Sad]

Tuesday 21 November 11:59:51 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [153 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Messy Girls Gift Book

Tuesday 21 November 10:43:00 UTC 2017

With Xmas just around the bend, the search for presents intensifies. Who wouldn't like a book of photos of women covered in foodstuffs?

More pix here at eBay for as long as the auction is up.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally, some good news. Trump's charitable foundation, which has admitted violating federal rules on "self-dealing," is in the process of shutting down [News]

Tuesday 21 November 10:25:51 UTC 2017

News [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump supporter tells Maxine Waters not to infringe on his freedom from opinions he doesn't like. "You're going to wind up dead, Maxine, 'cause we'll kill you." Police then infringe on his freedom from arrest. See? See? [Asini

Tuesday 21 November 9:37:52 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [93 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Don't You Mean Measurable Helicopter Blades?

Tuesday 21 November 9:30:04 UTC 2017

school rulers helicopter Pie Chart - 7887389952 Graph by: WHATSERFACE Tagged: school , rulers , helicopter , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Here's One for the Pie Chart Hall of Fame

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:59 UTC 2017

worst Pie Chart 2013 newspaper - 7044260608 Graph by: (via Apple.copydesk) Tagged: worst , Pie Chart , 2013 , newspaper Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Behind the Facebook Like

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:58 UTC 2017

like facebook infographic - 7074668800 Graph by: (via Boostlikes) Tagged: like , facebook , infographic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Police Are Using Computers to Solve Crimes

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:55 UTC 2017

crimes infographic police technology - 7948356352 Graph by: NowSourcing (via www.computersciencedegreehub.com) Tagged: crimes , infographic , police , technology Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: Seriously, It's Annoying…

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:52 UTC 2017

annoying Pie Chart long story none of your business - 6670971136 Graph by: freakconformist Tagged: annoying , Pie Chart , long story , none of your business Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Do Teachers Do On Weekends? Mystery Solved.

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:50 UTC 2017

school teacher weekend funny g rated School of FAIL - 7788069376 Submitted by: (via We Are Teachers) Tagged: school , teacher , weekend , funny , g rated , School of FAIL Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When Pouring Soda

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:49 UTC 2017

glass pouring soda - 5813847040 Graph by: Regrubezeehc Tagged: glass , pouring , soda Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Is Why You Don't Work at Starbucks

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:47 UTC 2017

caffeine bad idea Starbucks - 7368809472 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: caffeine , bad idea , Starbucks Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Every Bit Helps

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:46 UTC 2017

crane flow chart homeless sick whooping cough - 6156692736 Graph by: buckles_b (via www.bite.ca) Tagged: crane , flow chart , homeless , sick , whooping cough Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Questions you'll answer on the phone in retail

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:45 UTC 2017

business hours job phone retail store - 1525014272 LoL by: Unknown Tagged: business , hours , job , phone , retail , store Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A New Perspective of the Day: Understanding Human Lifespan Through the History of the Universe

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:44 UTC 2017

lifespan history infographic - 7804158720 Prepared to be blown away. In a fascinating attempt at putting our everyday lives in proper perspective, the humor blog Wait But Why compiled a series of timelines growing in scale with each successive period, starting from the last 24 hours to the history of the universe since the Big Bang, which reveal a humbling perspective on just how minuscule … [Link]

GraphJam » Muppet Actors

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:43 UTC 2017

actors muppet jim henson - 7038797568 Graph by: (via Chartgeek) Tagged: actors , muppet , jim henson Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Venn Denzelgram

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:40 UTC 2017

denzel washington facial hair glasses hat malcolm x venn diagram - 4449828096 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: denzel washington , facial hair , glasses , hat , malcolm x , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » GraphJam and Me

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:37 UTC 2017

graphjam graphs situational humor - 1714936576 LoL by: flashstorm Tagged: graphjam , graphs , situational humor Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Book Potter vs. Movie Potter

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:36 UTC 2017

Alan Rickman best of week books characters Daniel Radcliffe Harry Potter Movie - 6422683648 Graph by: (via Out of Print Clothing) Tagged: Alan Rickman , best of week , books , characters , Daniel Radcliffe , Harry Potter , Movie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Works IRL Too

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:35 UTC 2017

frustration life Pie Chart video games - 4673776384 Graph by: coryv Tagged: frustration , life , Pie Chart , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Breakdown of a Pack of Sour Skittles

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:33 UTC 2017

candy chart art counting creative IRL numbers skittles sour - 4558015488 Graph by: pcman1985 Tagged: candy , chart art , counting , creative , IRL , numbers , skittles , sour Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This One Covers Them All!

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:29 UTC 2017

memebase Pie Chart - 7928968960 Graph by: CryptonicNova Tagged: memebase , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Breaking the Speed Limit

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:28 UTC 2017

Submitted by: (via Minute Physics) Tagged: Minute Physics , physics , science , speed of light , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Yet They Keep Coming

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:26 UTC 2017

graphjam memebase meta pacman Pie Chart wakka wakka - 4356258304 Graph by: DampSponge Tagged: graphjam , memebase , meta , pacman , Pie Chart , wakka wakka Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Useful Flowchart

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:25 UTC 2017

QR code wtf flow chart - 7293577984 Graph by: Nontenda Tagged: QR code , wtf , flow chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Worst Office Ever

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:24 UTC 2017

boss cubicle Maps Office the worst work - 6175774720 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: boss , cubicle , Maps , Office , the worst , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Did You Name it Roomba?

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:23 UTC 2017

roomba food dogs - 7429203456 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: roomba , food , dogs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You're in Trouble Now

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:19 UTC 2017

Harry Potter draco malfoy Father - 5213069568 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Harry Potter , draco malfoy , Father Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Look for Hidden Messages

Tuesday 21 November 9:29:16 UTC 2017

dirty words hidden messages Pie Chart see also word search - 4333716480 Graph by: Feff Tagged: dirty words , hidden messages , Pie Chart , see also , word search Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Roy Moore accuser Leigh Corfman explains why she waited so long to tell her story. "It's very simple, really – I did tell people" [Followup]

Tuesday 21 November 8:55:14 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hatin' Porta Potty Prince orders Haitians to Port-au-Prince [News]

Tuesday 21 November 8:16:15 UTC 2017

News [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bank of America is at it again [Asinine]

Tuesday 21 November 7:26:53 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What I learned when I tried to make a gluten-free, kosher, no-soy, vegan, organic, low-acid, no-dairy Thanksgiving – I'm a raging tool suspiciously absent [Sick]

Tuesday 21 November 7:14:16 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Blades of Glory

Tuesday 21 November 6:30:19 UTC 2017

I don’t know why this never caught on — in 1959 Klara Karwowska invented little windshield wipers for eyeglasses: The present invention is directed to a wiper means for maintaining the lenses clean or clear of steam, rain, snow, or other foreign matter, and the wiper mechanism of the present invention includes a source of electrical energy such as the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canadian who treated son's meningitis in the most Canadian manner is not very Canadian about it [Asinine]

Tuesday 21 November 6:25:31 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Upscale restaurant selling cannabis-infused meals coming to Chicago. This is an improvement over the meals usually ingested by cannabis-infused diners, like a 2 AM run to White Castle [Weird]

Tuesday 21 November 3:50:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How to cook Thanksgiving dinner in a microwave. Step one: abandon all pretense of shame or dignity [Interesting]

Tuesday 21 November 3:28:15 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are plenty of gorgeous islands in the Caribbean. Like Tortola, St. James, Guadeloupe, Virgin Gorda, that garbage island over there, Sint MaaWAIT WHAT? [Sick]

Tuesday 21 November 3:06:26 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drinking is bad for your brain according to Drs. N.S. Sherlock and Carrie Nation of the Romeo Oncology Institute [Unlikely]

Tuesday 21 November 2:44:37 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In case you are ever pulled over for speeding in Delhi, here are some great excuses [PSA]

Tuesday 21 November 2:00:59 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On the next Tales from the Crypt: Did YOU Bury Your Hamster Alive [Scary]

Tuesday 21 November 1:39:10 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not News: Officers realize the best way to stop drunk drivers is to approach them in the parking lot. Fark: And give them taxi vouchers [Spiffy]

Tuesday 21 November 1:17:21 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple complains to Waffle House corporate after finding dead frog floating in their water glass instead of in their omelet [Florida]

Tuesday 21 November 1:06:34 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mike Love won't say what exactly Manson did to his cousin Dennis Wilson; "Let's put it this way: I didn't send flowers" In other news, even The Manson Family threw off the Beach Boys for The Beatles [Followup]

Tuesday 21 November 1:01:26 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: The difficulties of living in an 8-bit world [Photoshop]

Tuesday 21 November 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bacon? Really?: 10 Thanksgiving foods you didn't know were kosher [PSA]

Tuesday 21 November 0:55:32 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are three (or fewer) Iron Lung users left in America. Four if you count Mr Frump [Interesting]

Tuesday 21 November 0:33:43 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's Thanksgiving week, so Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) will have songs dealing with food (or food type substances) and eating. The show closes out with a Thanksgiving staple [Live]

Tuesday 21 November 0:30:09 UTC 2017

Live [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently the "Charlie Rose Show" involved Charlie showing you his penis [Sick]

Tuesday 21 November 0:22:29 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [215 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Surely there's some surviving relative of Manson, or else in 10 days he'll wind up as garbage [Followup]

Tuesday 21 November 0:11:54 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Archive

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