Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Man dead after Logan stabbing. Snikt [News]

Thursday 16 November 23:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Visit Peoria, Illinois Come for the Portillo's. Stay for the Portillo's. Eat Portillo's. Portillo's [Stupid]

Thursday 16 November 23:33:43 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Today's vaccine shortage is brought to you by the letter A [Sick]

Thursday 16 November 23:11:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » University accused of failing to take action against student with strange sexual fetish. What strange sexual fetish you ask? Well, you'll just have to click to find outHE DRESSES UP AS A BABY HAHAHA [Weird]

Thursday 16 November 22:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » THIS JUST IN: Locking your car doors is an effective way to prevent your car being robbed [Facepalm]

Thursday 16 November 22:35:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Not news: Man finds car after forgetting where he parked it. Fark: Twenty years later [Fail]

Thursday 16 November 22:14:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Here it is.. Your Fark Turkey Day sides thread. Share what you're making/taking to the feast. Canned Cranberries shall be banned at the door [Interesting]

Thursday 16 November 22:00:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Apparently we're now so stupid we have to be reminded to breathe [Amusing]

Thursday 16 November 21:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » ← Free Cows (WARNING: Graphic images) [Followup]

Thursday 16 November 21:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this uplifting sign [Photoshop]

Thursday 16 November 21:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Connecticut state education official Stephen Wright arrested for violating probation in drunken driving arrest. When asked for a comment, he said, "24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?" [Dumbass]

Thursday 16 November 20:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Germany replaces U.S. as country with best image, the real news being that the U.S. ever had this title to begin with [Murica]

Thursday 16 November 20:37:25 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Pro tip: When breaking into homes, it's best if you do not leave your resume at one of the crime scenes and your cell phone in another [Dumbass]

Thursday 16 November 20:10:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "OK, heads – we go with Gordie, our incumbent mayor who's been doing a fine job these past 20 years. Or tails – we go with this new guy who's muttering to himself and stroking his AR-15" [Weird]

Thursday 16 November 19:46:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The U.S. House just passed the Fark the Poor and Reward the Wealthy Tax Act [News]

Thursday 16 November 19:17:55 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Ireland's FOTA Wildlife Park celebrates birth of new Brazilian Tapir and needs help naming him. Difficulty: No Tapir McTapirFace [Sappy]

Thursday 16 November 18:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Canada's foolish tradition of not locking the front door comes to its inevitable horrific conclusion: 19 dead, including mother, father, 6 children, 3 dogs, 1 cat, several goldfish- ok, just kidding, the cops showed up and took a drunk guy home [

Thursday 16 November 18:20:06 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » An Orderly Alphabet

Thursday 16 November 16:55:29 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons In the early days of typewriting, this was usually the first thing typed on each new typewriter after it rolled off the production line: Amaranath sasesusos Oronoco initiation secedes Uruguay Philadelphia A worker known as an aligner typed it to check that the resulting letters were aligned correctly on the platen. How does it work? ‘Amaranath,’ the misspelled … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meanwhile in Japan, they are still crazy for the cheeseburger that Donald Trump ate [Interesting]

Thursday 16 November 16:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Someone thought carrying about $190,000 in cash in a backpack in the Bronx was a good idea [Facepalm]

Thursday 16 November 16:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Japanese train company felt compelled to issue an apology for a train not leaving on time. It left 20 seconds early [Amusing]

Thursday 16 November 15:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "If you can't keep your animal under control, you will have to leave the plane." "That is my therapy pig." "I was talking to the pig" (possible nsfw content on page) [Dumbass]

Thursday 16 November 15:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Police: We knew he had a stockpile of guns, and we knew he was in violation of a court order barring him from having guns. We just waited until the inevitable happened before we tried to stop him [Asinine]

Thursday 16 November 14:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Twitter bans white supremacist groups [Obvious]

Thursday 16 November 14:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these beautiful berries [Photoshop]

Thursday 16 November 14:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Hobby Lobby's Museum of Antiquities Theft set to open in D.C this week. bring the kids, it'll be great fun for all [Murica]

Thursday 16 November 13:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » And all along you thought you knew why the theater floor was sticky [Creepy]

Thursday 16 November 13:02:35 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Takes $1.95 Dispute to Supreme Court

Thursday 16 November 12:52:09 UTC 2017

During the gasoline shortage of 1979, New York state ordered a $7 minimum purchase of gas at stations, to stop people topping up. Frank Makara's tank would only hold $5.05 woth of gas, but he had to pay the full $7 minimum anyway. Outraged, he sued the BP station that charged him the $7, and took his suit all the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Explorer has gone missing in Papua New Guinea while searching for a tribe of headhunters. So I guess he found them [Obvious]

Thursday 16 November 12:02:35 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » The Fountain of the World Cult

Thursday 16 November 11:58:00 UTC 2017

"Members of Fountain of the World cult in Chatsworth are pallbearers and mourners at funeral of their leader Krishna Venta and two other cult members killed in dynamiting of their headquarters."

Read a long fascinating article on this Manson precursor at the LA WEEKLY. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I understand I have 12 children of our own, at the same time, what we have on the back of our truck is nothing compared to what you see every day on the music videos, see on TV and video games" [Followup]

Thursday 16 November 11:48:34 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fark could be offline forever as early as next month, thanks to the FCC [Asinine]

Thursday 16 November 11:34:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Vista Ridge Mall is about to become Roy Moore's favorite place to "shop" [Awkward]

Thursday 16 November 11:17:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » God is coming and She is pissed at Alabama [Murica]

Thursday 16 November 10:42:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Keep farking that chicken, you'll kill it. Literally [Sick]

Thursday 16 November 10:24:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Tis the season… to update what it would cost you to buy everything from the 12 Days of Christmas song. This is a repeat from every year since forever [Interesting]

Thursday 16 November 10:02:30 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » F-35 testing to boost air force base population by 3,500, including crash crews, mechanics, firefighters, medics, and maybe even a couple pilots [Misc]

Thursday 16 November 9:39:43 UTC 2017

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GraphJam » Pee Graph

Thursday 16 November 8:42:15 UTC 2017

bathroom humor line Line Graph peeing toliet - 6327762176 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bathroom humor , line , Line Graph , peeing , toliet Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Anne Frank Always Wins

Thursday 16 November 8:42:12 UTC 2017

apples to apples best of week cards Pie Chart that sounds naughty - 5203605248 Graph by: overlordtoast Tagged: apples to apples , best of week , cards , Pie Chart , that sounds naughty Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Odds of Missing a Note on Guitar Hero

Thursday 16 November 8:42:09 UTC 2017

alone Bar Graph Guitar Hero impress missing notes rock band video games - 2623675648 Graph by: kate1738 Tagged: alone , Bar Graph , Guitar Hero , impress , missing , notes , rock band , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't Forget To Check For Snakes/Spiders in the Toilet

Thursday 16 November 8:42:06 UTC 2017

bathroom murderers Pie Chart - 7941996800 Graph by: markot9 Tagged: bathroom , murderers , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » President's Popularity

Thursday 16 November 8:42:04 UTC 2017

Line Graph president politics - 5234298112 Graph by: StarsHallelujah Tagged: Line Graph , president , politics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And It Mooooves Us Alllll

Thursday 16 November 8:42:03 UTC 2017

lyrics Pie Chart sing the circle of life - 5326926848 Graph by: doctorwhofan63 Tagged: lyrics , Pie Chart , sing , the circle of life Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Hope So

Thursday 16 November 8:41:59 UTC 2017

charity venn diagram fapping good - 6871666176 Graph by: (via Best Nate Smith Ever ) Tagged: charity , venn diagram , fapping , good Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things that happen in Underground Parking Garages in the movies

Thursday 16 November 8:41:58 UTC 2017

cars chase corporate explosives garages information meetings movies murder parking political rape - 2031196416 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cars , chase , corporate , explosives , garages , information , meetings , movies , murder , parking , political , rape Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman steals Highlander, upgrades by stealing Lexus, upgrades again by stealing BMW, all in a few hours while out on bail for car theft [Amusing]

Thursday 16 November 7:19:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Charles Manson reaching the bottom of the slide [News]

Thursday 16 November 7:10:58 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Good news, America: Eric and Don Jr. can once again legally bring endangered African animal parts home [Sick]

Thursday 16 November 6:34:59 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » A high school principal would summon girls by intercom to his office, so PedoMoore could hit on them over the phone [Sick]

Thursday 16 November 6:17:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Emergency services at VP Mike Pence's house, roads closed and no further information. UPDATE: Bomb threat/Nothing found [News]

Thursday 16 November 6:05:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Colorado: Home of the first marijuana overdose [Scary]

Thursday 16 November 5:58:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Girl dies from wifi allergy. Wait, you can DIE from a made-up "disease"? [Scary]

Thursday 16 November 5:10:49 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 654: "Top This". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 16 November 5:01:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Consumer Product Safety Commission announces recall of 7 hoverboard brands in case the barn hasn't burned down after the horse left last year [Followup]

Thursday 16 November 4:50:03 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You're doing it wrong [Sad]

Thursday 16 November 3:33:34 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Chainsaw-wielding hitchhiker more popular than Trump in Puerto Rico [Cool]

Thursday 16 November 3:15:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » When asked about California shooter's history of stabbing neighbors and firing guns from his house, police say there's no way they could have anticipated his rampage [Murica]

Thursday 16 November 3:13:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » PSA: Calling 911 while you're being chased by police and demanding to speak to Donald Trump because he's your friend will not help – not even in Florida [Florida]

Thursday 16 November 3:11:02 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Bill Gates' "smart city" in Arizona is not smart, not a city, and has little to with Bill Gates. At this point, I'm not even sure that Arizona exists [Stupid]

Thursday 16 November 2:41:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Lamborghini delivers a special edition white-and-gold Huracan built just for Pope Francis, who autographed the hood and then sent it to an auction house to raise money for charities helping Iraqi Christians, sick kids in Africa, and migrant women [Sp

Thursday 16 November 0:58:38 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » This is America. Freedom of speech does not exist here [Murica]

Thursday 16 November 0:32:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Women's boobs are not free speech, says federal court [Boobies]

Thursday 16 November 0:30:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Randy buck mounts, attempts to bonk two deer-shaped ornaments on family's lawn. Doesn't score but hilarity ensues [Fail]

Thursday 16 November 0:24:21 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons