John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Cops bust two burglars wearing 'Ronald Reagan' masks, post your pithy comment about trickle-down economics, giving to the 1% et al. to the right [Amusing]

Saturday 11 November 23:25:21 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gambler gets kicked out of Las Vegas casino. Pulls slot machine handle, OJ…..OJ…..OJ Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding [Dumbass]

Saturday 11 November 22:25:25 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this aerial assault [Photoshop]

Saturday 11 November 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can [Scary]

Saturday 11 November 20:23:38 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The smallest Thanksgiving meal you've ever seen will leave you wanting seconds… maybe thirds and fourths [Weird]

Saturday 11 November 19:50:58 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Look two families to the right. Look two families to the left. One in five American households have 'zero or negative' wealth [Scary]

Saturday 11 November 19:19:39 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » At least he'll get a 10 for creative parking [Fail]

Saturday 11 November 18:20:30 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Complain to restaurant owner that your fries are cold? That's a strangling [Scary]

Saturday 11 November 18:06:38 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ It's like raaaaiiin..on your wedding day ♫ [Ironic]

Saturday 11 November 16:56:08 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I'm in a high speed chase, bro." And then the tazing began [Dumbass]

Saturday 11 November 16:44:12 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your self driving car is going to be able to talk to bicycles, mainly to tell them to stop being red-light-running asshats, spandex looks ridiculous, and they suck [Interesting]

Saturday 11 November 16:25:39 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » LAPD officer records himself planting drugs on a suspect. That's some fine police work there, Lou [Fail]

Saturday 11 November 15:40:26 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [243 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stonehenge and 12 other world-famous tourist attractions that are smaller and less impressive when seen in person. "Honestly America, this is not a character assassination. But only you would build part of your national psyche around a boulder&#3

Saturday 11 November 15:25:52 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [243 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reporter is shocked, just SHOCKED, to discover sweetened cereals have a ton of sugar in them. Reporter obviously raised on instant cream-o-wheat as a child or, even worse, Grape Nuts [Obvious]

Saturday 11 November 15:15:43 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [97 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #334

Saturday 11 November 14:37:21 UTC 2017

Suits for brawlers or bullies only?

Original ad here.

UPDATE: now unfortunately hidden behind THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE paywall.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this reader [Photoshop]

Saturday 11 November 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman decides she wants to adopt a cat, one that had to be a middle-aged calico, and if she found such a cat she would it name it Bella. She goes to the shelter and is greeted by a 6-year-old calico … named Bella. Serendipity, thy name is Caturday

Saturday 11 November 13:00:00 UTC 2017

Caturday [link] [655 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Picnic Table Pyramid

Saturday 11 November 12:14:54 UTC 2017

Was it a prank, or was it art?

Des Moines Tribune – Aug 1, 1963 [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Discrimination and not stupidity is the reason this man says he can't get a job in retail because of his neck tattoo [Dumbass]

Saturday 11 November 12:05:28 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The deadly assault rifle known as the AR-15 was never meant to be owned by civilians. For obvious reasons [Obvious]

Saturday 11 November 11:55:00 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [302 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Birthday Cards

Saturday 11 November 11:36:41 UTC 2017

birthday birthday card aging graphs funny - 4496080640 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: birthday , birthday card , aging , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Some People Just Can't Wait

Saturday 11 November 11:36:40 UTC 2017

christmas holiday Pie Chart november winter - 6808524288 Graph by: Savagespike101 Tagged: christmas , holiday , Pie Chart , november , winter Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Is This Also Where You Learned to Spell?

Saturday 11 November 11:36:38 UTC 2017

data graphs meta Pie Chart - 5195621632 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: data , graphs , meta , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This is Known in Marketing as 'Hollister Lighting'

Saturday 11 November 11:36:36 UTC 2017

interrogation lighting hollister prison - 7690660352 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: interrogation , lighting , hollister , prison Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » So This is How the Zombie Apocalypse Starts

Saturday 11 November 11:36:34 UTC 2017

slacker zombie nerd college - 7683313408 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: slacker , zombie , nerd , college Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Even When I JUST Ate Lunch

Saturday 11 November 11:36:32 UTC 2017

stomach graphs funny Pie Chart exams - 7514072576 Graph by: CrusadeTheBest Tagged: stomach , graphs , funny , Pie Chart , exams Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » We Could All Learn Something Here

Saturday 11 November 11:36:30 UTC 2017

cheezburger grammar graphjam learning lols Pie Chart spelling - 4259899136 Graph by: H3nQ Tagged: cheezburger , grammar , graphjam , learning , lols , Pie Chart , spelling Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Mythbusters Method

Saturday 11 November 11:36:27 UTC 2017

blown up experiment mythbusters TV - 2553514240 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: blown up , experiment , mythbusters , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Damn You, Blue Shell!

Saturday 11 November 11:36:26 UTC 2017

angry blue shell Mario Kart Pie Chart video games - 6393112832 Graph by: ThunderCougerFalconBird Tagged: angry , blue shell , Mario Kart , Pie Chart , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They're Getting Loose With the Definition of 'History'

Saturday 11 November 11:36:25 UTC 2017

Aliens history channel pawn stars Pie Chart TV - 6274328064 Graph by: VbelacV Tagged: Aliens , history channel , pawn stars , Pie Chart , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Move Along

Saturday 11 November 11:36:19 UTC 2017

Line Graph obi wan star wars stormtrooper - 4580266240 Graph by: Smart1dude Tagged: Line Graph , obi wan , star wars , stormtrooper Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Can't Stop

Saturday 11 November 11:36:18 UTC 2017

Bar Graph distractions internet work - 6103188992 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , distractions , internet , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Different Animals Are Spending the Weekends

Saturday 11 November 11:36:13 UTC 2017

animals FRIDAY Pie Chart TGIF weekend - 6078312960 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: animals , FRIDAY , Pie Chart , TGIF , weekend Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 50 Years of Christmas Toys

Saturday 11 November 11:36:11 UTC 2017

Chart christmas toys - 7952016128 Submitted by: (via abbyryandesign) Tagged: Chart , christmas , toys Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Discuss Amongst Yourselves

Saturday 11 November 11:36:09 UTC 2017

pie charts FPS halo graphs cod funny Halo 4 - 7580997376 Graph by: xXxDarkBearxXx Tagged: pie charts , FPS , halo , graphs , cod , funny , Halo 4 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Like My Vegetables Covered in Grease

Saturday 11 November 11:36:08 UTC 2017

best of week Pie Chart pizza pizza is a vegetable vegetable - 5456350208 Graph by: travijedi Tagged: best of week , Pie Chart , pizza , pizza is a vegetable , vegetable Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Now if Only I Could Fly to Work

Saturday 11 November 11:36:06 UTC 2017

airports infographic planes safety transportation Travel - 6177734656 Graph by: Scott (via HowStuffWorks) Tagged: airports , infographic , planes , safety , transportation , Travel Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Oh, I Love Caricature Drawings

Saturday 11 November 11:36:05 UTC 2017

artist caricature drawings Pie Chart - 5934899712 Graph by: owls6499 Tagged: artist , caricature , drawings , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Data Hungry Apps

Saturday 11 November 11:36:04 UTC 2017

data hungry facebook apps friends infographic - 6636969728 Graph by: kitteh_pleaz (via Zonealarm) Tagged: data , hungry , facebook , apps , friends , infographic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Computer Maintenance Steps

Saturday 11 November 11:36:03 UTC 2017

best of week computer freak out maintenance - 6133488896 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: best of week , computer , freak out , maintenance Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chapsticks

Saturday 11 November 11:36:02 UTC 2017

chapstick finished laundry Pie Chart washing machine - 2934421760 Graph by: MrFiock Tagged: chapstick , finished , laundry , Pie Chart , washing machine Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wholly Unnecessary

Saturday 11 November 11:35:59 UTC 2017

bar graphs back to the future graphs funny - 7609779200 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bar graphs , back to the future , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Don't Want to Go to Bed, Therefore Insomnia

Saturday 11 November 11:35:57 UTC 2017

insomnia internet Pie Chart teens - 6334397184 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: insomnia , internet , Pie Chart , teens Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » If It Blinds You, It's Probably the Sun

Saturday 11 November 11:35:56 UTC 2017

meteor moon sky comet light sun - 7736372480 Submitted by: (via The League of Lost Causes) Tagged: meteor , moon , sky , comet , light , sun Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Just Want a Lightsaber

Saturday 11 November 11:35:55 UTC 2017

lightsaber star wars Jedi - 7259512320 Graph by: sambroom Tagged: lightsaber , star wars , Jedi Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Use of the Word Literally

Saturday 11 November 11:35:53 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 7433849344 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You Goddamn communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out Now you DO love the Virgin Mary, don't ya? [Sad]

Saturday 11 November 10:59:09 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Father passes out in his car parked at a Taco Bell parking lot. Employees noticed the car but did nothing; apparently, they missed the 3 and 7 year-old children in the backseat trying to wake up their drunk father multiple times [Fail]

Saturday 11 November 9:30:00 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Overly dramatic disinherited grandson has "physically and verbally aggressed" three staff members in an attempt to see ailing grandfather. In other news, Gandalf has a side job [Awkward]

Saturday 11 November 8:35:55 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good: Man wants to avoid his wife getting a DUI. Gallant: So he agrees to pick her up from party. Fark: Man is killed in a DUI accident on the way to pick up his wife from party [Ironic]

Saturday 11 November 7:33:19 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » White House TPP'd [News]

Saturday 11 November 7:30:27 UTC 2017

News [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » He Who Falls

Saturday 11 November 6:44:24 UTC 2017

French acrobat and dancer Yoann Bourgeois created “Celui qui tombe” for the 2014 International Dance Biennial of Lyon. He calls the six dancers “a mankind in miniature.” “It’s clear that if you do it ‘your way’ rather than the group’s way, you imperil and unbalance the joint venture,” wrote Luke Jennings in a Guardian review. “But you also get freedom. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cats act stoned after eating marijuana plants. Listen, they're cats. How can you tell? [Unlikely]

Saturday 11 November 6:06:31 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I refuse to believe it's a lifelong imprint, yet, with age 70 in clear view, I admit to wondering whether I will ever entirely heal that young girl who was pinned down" [Sad]

Saturday 11 November 5:56:33 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Suddenly, bears [PSA]

Saturday 11 November 5:23:35 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Taco Bell decided since we pretty much live in a "Idiocracy come true" time already we might as well dress like it [Murica]

Saturday 11 November 4:42:29 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » United realizes that jet engines can't chew their air [Scary]

Saturday 11 November 3:55:39 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Naked Canadian kidnapping due to "trippy tea". "Drunk D" no longer a suspect [Followup]

Saturday 11 November 3:50:07 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fox News guest storms off during the middle of interview because the host doesn't accept basic math [Awkward]

Saturday 11 November 2:38:40 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [154 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ If I could save Mom in a bottle / The first thing that I'd like to do / Is to pack her inside / Toss her into the prevailing tide / Just to send her to you ♫ [Florida]

Saturday 11 November 2:30:07 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Are you one of those people who actually boils okra? Do you use pumpkins for something other than decorating and making pie? Come talk about your worst veggie recipes after you take the Weekly Weird News Quiz 10/29-11/4 Rutabaga Edition [Sick]

Saturday 11 November 2:16:13 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » $12/hour really doesn't cover this. With bonus mugshots [Asinine]

Saturday 11 November 1:10:07 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chief of Massachusetts State Police, who ordered coverup of arrest of judge's daughter, resigns [Followup]

Saturday 11 November 1:05:38 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this giant sphere hat [Photoshop]

Saturday 11 November 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Eluding multiple traffic stops is hungry work, so why not swing by the McDonalds surrounded by marked police cars? [Dumbass]

Saturday 11 November 0:56:44 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Archive

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