John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Chickens in SPAAAAACE [Amusing]

Thursday 9 November 23:49:56 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Serial masturbators' in Cook County custody rewarded with pizza for 30-day abstention: Lawsuit [Interesting]

Thursday 9 November 23:32:47 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Transport Canada update: "Okay, knives are allowed again, but no baby powder" [Facepalm]

Thursday 9 November 23:15:39 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just how bad is the opioid crisis in America? Police in Arkansas are warning customers to wipe off grocery cart handles due to potential Fentanyl residue. UPDATE: Debunked by Snopes [Unlikely]

Thursday 9 November 23:00:39 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption this intimate moment [Caption]

Thursday 9 November 23:00:01 UTC 2017

Caption [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Egyptian accidentally shoots groom in the genitals during stag-do celebration [Fail]

Thursday 9 November 22:45:39 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More about those two "sailors" rescued by the Navy after being adrift for months. It seems some of their friends are starting to reveal what really happened (NSFW) [Followup]

Thursday 9 November 22:29:39 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [138 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ARM demands felony charges for cow abuse. Meanwhile, the Core Commander happily lights a grill made out of destroyed Pee Wee [Florida]

Thursday 9 November 22:13:39 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: How do you incorporate greens into meals without just preparing a side salad? Help your fellow Farkers eat healthier meals by showing us how easy it is to go green [Interesting]

Thursday 9 November 22:00:19 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [132 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Walk out of your car covered in gasoline and holding a lighter? That's a tasi—FFOOOOMMMMP [Sad]

Thursday 9 November 21:55:11 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man arrested for DUI on lawnmower. On the bright side, he wasn't smoking grass [Florida]

Thursday 9 November 21:36:44 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Good Girl

Thursday 9 November 21:22:11 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons Four years ago, the city was making extensive repairs for a number of blocks along our main thoroughfare here in Pasadena, putting in a complete new set of pipes. After two weeks, the day came when I was to have my hair done. I heard machinery in the distance, but decided to go on. I soon found myself … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Groundbreaking has begun on Fark's new headquarters [Cool]

Thursday 9 November 21:16:44 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this eerie woman [Photoshop]

Thursday 9 November 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ontario passes idiotic pot regulations. New Brunswick: hold my spliff and watch this [Asinine]

Thursday 9 November 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news for anyone hoping for another remake of "On The Beach": North Korea apparently underestimated the amount of radiation that would escape from their recent tests (possible nsfw content on page) [Scary]

Thursday 9 November 20:41:54 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nutella publicly acknowledges they changed their recipe. People who apparently like Nutella are not taking it well [Amusing]

Thursday 9 November 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ikea is selling sluts [Weird]

Thursday 9 November 20:08:31 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Louis CK's movie premiere canceled in anticipation of a New York Times article that could be about anything really [Dumbass]

Thursday 9 November 19:55:50 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [399 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toddler smacks into windshield after Florida woman chases boyfriend at 90 mph and hits the brakes. See, that's why I keep them strapped down in the cargo area. For safety [Florida]

Thursday 9 November 19:40:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three out of four Washington State drivers refuse to honk their horns. Of course, that fourth one is an actual Washington State native honking angrily at all the people who've moved in and screwed the place up [Interesting]

Thursday 9 November 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [181 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Amazon psychedelic shaman potion is better at treating addiction than LSD or shrooms, and it qualifies for free shipping to an alternate universe [Spiffy]

Thursday 9 November 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More people retiring to Pittsburgh than Miami because when you don't have much time left you want every moment to feel like an eternity [Weird]

Thursday 9 November 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You should probably wait until the trial is over to hit on the jurors [Florida]

Thursday 9 November 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gunfire at Walmart triggered by shoelace remark [Followup]

Thursday 9 November 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [180 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, the postal manifest said 'stuffed animals', but it didn't specify stuffed with what [Fail]

Thursday 9 November 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More bad booze news for the Irish: Your cheap booze is about to double in price after a new booze bill gets passed soon by those that want you healthy and sober [Sad]

Thursday 9 November 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this calculator [Photoshop]

Thursday 9 November 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Smile Mirror

Thursday 9 November 13:59:03 UTC 2017

Visual Arts student Berk Ilhan has created a mirror that will only work if you smile. His idea was that this would help cheer up cancer patients by forcing them to smile. He's hoping to sell these for between $2000 and $3000 each. So far, the reaction to his invention has been, shall we say, not positive.

Some of the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you try to rob a liquor store this time of year, don't be surprised when the clerk cracks you in the head with a bottle of Bailey's Pumpkin Spice [Fail]

Thursday 9 November 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old creep serial pervert had a contract that allowed him to keep being old creep serial pervert. Weinstein? Why no. O'Reilly [Followup]

Thursday 9 November 13:22:53 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently times are so tough that kids are trying to make DIY braces for their teeth at home [Creepy]

Thursday 9 November 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gina? Lovely country, terrific. Terrific country. No, they don't take advantage of us. Great people. Great wall [Facepalm]

Thursday 9 November 11:50:31 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » )-: [Repeat]

Thursday 9 November 11:12:31 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [43 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The Annals of State-Sponsored Corporal Punishment

Thursday 9 November 11:11:00 UTC 2017

Kids these days–so unreasonable!

Original article here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Joyriding on a stolen electric shopping cart and getting it stuck in the snow, that's a felony [Amusing]

Thursday 9 November 10:50:42 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japan is going crazy for the Trump burger. It tastes like nothing [Silly]

Thursday 9 November 9:14:31 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [73 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Our Generation's Shakespeare

Thursday 9 November 8:58:23 UTC 2017

describe perfect Pie Chart shakespeare twilight - 5469299456 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: describe , perfect , Pie Chart , shakespeare , twilight Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: I See No Difference

Thursday 9 November 8:58:21 UTC 2017

end of the world Pie Chart replotted SOPA - 5742372608 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: end of the world , Pie Chart , replotted , SOPA Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Few Trillion Kills and Counting

Thursday 9 November 8:58:17 UTC 2017

best of week frag halo infographic kills online video games xbox - 6126972160 Get Over Here and Play a Video Game Graph by: Jambei Tagged: best of week , frag , halo , infographic , kills , online , video games , xbox Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Go Team Apocalypse!

Thursday 9 November 8:58:13 UTC 2017

abs bella edward go team venture Jacob Pie Chart twilight - 4254804992 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: abs , bella , edward , go team venture , Jacob , Pie Chart , twilight Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's an Experience

Thursday 9 November 8:58:12 UTC 2017

computer movies theater - 5205872384 Graph by: (via Tumblr) Tagged: computer , movies , theater Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Bad Marketing

Thursday 9 November 8:58:11 UTC 2017

Movie snooki three stooges venn diagram - 6038823424 Graph by: chickenman78 Tagged: Movie , snooki , three stooges , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chance of realising that that small piece of metal is a vital part of your computer

Thursday 9 November 8:58:10 UTC 2017

computers floor metal object piece trash - 2011153152 Graph by: JaneD Tagged: computers , floor , metal , object , piece , trash Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And 'Playing' Means Killing Everybody

Thursday 9 November 8:58:07 UTC 2017

fire killing Pie Chart sims 3 video games - 6094522112 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: fire , killing , Pie Chart , sims 3 , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Thought It Was Called Breakunchinner

Thursday 9 November 8:58:06 UTC 2017

breakfast brunch lunch dinner - 7719850240 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: breakfast , brunch , lunch , dinner Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sadly, True

Thursday 9 November 8:58:05 UTC 2017

homework answers google - 7764867072 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: homework , answers , google Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sports Don't Require Facts

Thursday 9 November 8:58:02 UTC 2017

sports rumors Bar Graph - 7995110656 Graph by: Dotpenn Tagged: sports , rumors , Bar Graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Aren't Forced Conversations the Best?

Thursday 9 November 8:58:01 UTC 2017

Awkward family Pie Chart school - 5388646656 Graph by: alex6922 Tagged: Awkward , family , Pie Chart , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Can't We Read Something Else?

Thursday 9 November 8:57:56 UTC 2017

books school pie charts twilight reading - 6666799616 Graph by: watergurl Tagged: books , school , pie charts , twilight , reading Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Always Wanted a Pet Tiger

Thursday 9 November 8:57:55 UTC 2017

childhood disney Pie Chart princesses - 4556608768 Graph by: 43906138 Tagged: childhood , disney , Pie Chart , princesses Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But Everyone Cares About What I Post, Right?

Thursday 9 November 8:57:54 UTC 2017

facebook posts status updates venn diagram - 5807541504 Graph by: Valii- Tagged: facebook , posts , status updates , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They're All Corgreat!

Thursday 9 November 8:57:50 UTC 2017

corgis cute dogs infographic - 4750462976 Graph by: (via loldwell) Tagged: corgis , cute , dogs , infographic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Cinnamon Toast Ceral Commercials Teach Kids

Thursday 9 November 8:57:46 UTC 2017

breakfast cereal cinnamon toast crunch commercials eat eating friends important Pie Chart teach - 3247525888 Graph by: gigglemonster8 Tagged: breakfast , cereal , cinnamon toast crunch , commercials , eat , eating , friends , important , Pie Chart , teach Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Paying Money to Use Money? WTF!?

Thursday 9 November 8:57:42 UTC 2017

ATM bank fees robbery venn diagram - 6108044288 Graph by: (via This Is Indexed) Tagged: ATM , bank , fees , robbery , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Can't Wait

Thursday 9 November 8:57:41 UTC 2017

february The Walking Dead Pie Chart Valentines day - 6977617920 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: february , The Walking Dead , Pie Chart , Valentines day Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Mustn’t be Afraid to Dream a Little Bigger, Darling

Thursday 9 November 8:57:40 UTC 2017

dreams Inception movie quotes Pie Chart - 4576192512 Graph by: H3nQ Tagged: dreams , Inception , movie quotes , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Daylight "Savings" is Too Confusing

Thursday 9 November 8:57:39 UTC 2017

daylight savings australia map - 7935937024 Graph by: GonzoRulz Tagged: daylight savings , australia , map Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » No Taste

Thursday 9 November 8:57:38 UTC 2017

Music school no taste Pie Chart - 6787318528 Graph by: Zarvanis Tagged: Music , school , no taste , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't Panic!

Thursday 9 November 8:57:37 UTC 2017

alarm car dont-panic Pie Chart - 5736755712 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: alarm , car , dont-panic , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One thing Millennials aren't ruining is astrology and witchcraft; they're taking to it like ducks to water [Interesting]

Thursday 9 November 8:25:59 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [279 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I should buy a cat couch [Cool]

Thursday 9 November 7:58:44 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hooker shoots victim twice in the head because he is performing oral sex wrong. I didn't know there would be a test [Scary]

Thursday 9 November 7:09:14 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Navy Captain releases his own report on McCain and Fitzgerald collisions [Followup]

Thursday 9 November 6:50:15 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Snug

Thursday 9 November 6:26:39 UTC 2017

Canada’s René-Levasseur Island is larger than the lake that surrounds it. The island occupies 2,020 square kilometers, while the surrounding Lake Manicouagan covers 1,942. Visible from space, the feature is sometimes called the Eye of Quebec. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Homemade ad for used Honda Accord drives price so high eBay cancels auction [Followup]

Thursday 9 November 6:07:18 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man gets out of his marriage by convincing the judge he isn't married. Ergo: the tag [Hero]

Thursday 9 November 5:20:11 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 653: "Purple 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 9 November 5:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Harvard hosts annual 'Anal Sex 101' course – where everyone ends up at the bottom of the class [Giggity]

Thursday 9 November 4:46:48 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Landlord won't fix a broken door. Sunshine State Solution: Shoot selves during staged home invasion for insurance money [Florida]

Thursday 9 November 4:24:41 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iowa man dies in the most Iowa way possible [Strange]

Thursday 9 November 4:06:42 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Insurance companies picking up birth control costs for religious employers [Spiffy]

Thursday 9 November 3:49:59 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Liberian refugee elected mayor of Helena, Montana, campaigned for stricter enforcement of overdue fees [Repeat]

Thursday 9 November 3:44:08 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sex offender arrested for exposing himself at a Dollar Tree. Told police he didn't feel like getting all dressed up to go to Walmart [Creepy]

Thursday 9 November 3:09:51 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Luckily, I only plan on staying in 79 Cuban hotels [News]

Thursday 9 November 2:41:00 UTC 2017

News [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Sure, I called her 'Sugar-t*ts' and asked her to buy sex toys, but you are taking those comments out of context" says Trade Minister [Dumbass]

Thursday 9 November 2:35:34 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Investigators suspect 249 ghosts worked at stadium. Trump immediately proposes ghost ban and astral plane wall [Fail]

Thursday 9 November 2:01:17 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even after checking their sources, USA Today Stihl got it wrong [Fail]

Thursday 9 November 1:58:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman goes to Walmart self-checkout, rings up $1,800 worth of merchandise for $3.70 [Dumbass]

Thursday 9 November 1:36:55 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia presses ahead with combat robots, hoping to simultaneously reduce risks for their military forces and free them up to post on Facebook [Interesting]

Thursday 9 November 1:27:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this speedster [Photoshop]

Thursday 9 November 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'll have 3 Boston Creme donuts, some Munchkins, some heroin, some meth and a large coffee [Dumbass]

Thursday 9 November 0:52:43 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some vehicles aren't designed for quick U-turns. This ship captain found a way. With video [Facepalm]

Thursday 9 November 0:39:42 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dick says goodnight moon [Sad]

Thursday 9 November 0:18:26 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Archive

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