John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Tomi Lahren makes statement about Texas shooting as if she's a 'real Texan' even though she's only lived there since 2015. Native Texans not amused [Dumbass]

Tuesday 7 November 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [179 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Warrior comes up with plausible solution to gun violence [Spiffy]

Tuesday 7 November 23:30:14 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [158 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A backed up sewer created a 'pond of human excrement' at an Indian restaurant and now the owners are up shiat creek [Sick]

Tuesday 7 November 23:20:05 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cops: Is there a lot of meth in there? Woman: What's a lot? Cops: Say 10 grams or so. Woman: Oh, more than that [Dumbass]

Tuesday 7 November 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In this episode of the Paradise Papers: The island that swapped donkey rides for offshore cash. (No need to visit Urban Dictionary; they're talking actual donkeys.) [Interesting]

Tuesday 7 November 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When being interrogated by a detective, do you: A) Fess up to the crime, B) Ask for a lawyer, or C) Start farting until the detective ends the interview and leaves the room for air? [Amusing]

Tuesday 7 November 22:02:33 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Bundy bunch returns to court, bringing their best lawyers [Followup]

Tuesday 7 November 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Accidentally packing your husband's prescription pain pills on a trip to Egypt? That's a death by hangin' [Scary]

Tuesday 7 November 21:20:39 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [206 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter… WITHOUT ANY F***ING INFRASTRUCTURE [Followup]

Tuesday 7 November 21:20:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this balancing seal [Photoshop]

Tuesday 7 November 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark it, lets just legalize everything [Interesting]

Tuesday 7 November 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chicago is just seven kills away from leveling up [Scary]

Tuesday 7 November 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two NYPD officers resign after indictments for allegedly sexually assaulting a teen in custody [Sick]

Tuesday 7 November 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [165 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When fleeing from the cops, have a better plan than paddling your surfboard out into the ocean [Florida]

Tuesday 7 November 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who needs a beer keg when you can get yourself a Hidden Valley Ranch keg? [Giggity]

Tuesday 7 November 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Misc

Tuesday 7 November 18:36:41 UTC 2017

In 1898 Sam Clemens signed a hotel register “S.L. Clemens. Profession: Mark Twain.” Jonathan Swift invented the name Vanessa. How many outs are in an inning of baseball? Six. Isaac Asimov’s collected papers fill 71 meters of shelf space at Boston University. “He is greatest who is most often in men’s good thoughts.” — Samuel Butler After starring as the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida woman being bounced from bar earns a blue ribbon for her weapon of choice. A whole case of it, actually [Florida]

Tuesday 7 November 18:20:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas authorities refuse to use name of church shooter to avoid encouraging potential copy cats or admit the guy is a terrorist [Interesting]

Tuesday 7 November 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [195 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Wife unlocks sleeping husband's phone with fingerprint, discovers affair. Fark: Ensuing fracas forces emergency landing of long distance flight [Facepalm]

Tuesday 7 November 17:43:24 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Southwest flies themed planes like Shamu, penguins, Lone Star, and now, Icarus [Scary]

Tuesday 7 November 17:16:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas church shooting was the tragic culmination of a family feud. Steve Harvey unavailable for comment [Followup]

Tuesday 7 November 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [199 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian man who says he was born on Mars claims the Sphinx can be unlocked by a device behind the structure's ear [Strange]

Tuesday 7 November 16:41:53 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida State skips double secret probation and goes right to indefinite suspension of entire Greek system. (Sad tag is for latest binge drinking fatality) [Sad]

Tuesday 7 November 16:20:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Congratulations, America – you and Syria are no longer the only countries on earth to oppose the Paris climate change agreement [Followup]

Tuesday 7 November 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [201 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The Chocolate Choo-Choo

Tuesday 7 November 15:44:17 UTC 2017

Despite what the YouTube poster writes, this song was issued to the marketplace, as you can see from the pic of the physical record and the advert.

But those circumstance do not make the song, with its faintly scatological title, any less weird.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Citizens of Tatarstan demand that Tatar language classes for Tatar tots be mandatory in Tatar schools [Interesting]

Tuesday 7 November 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Eating two burgers is healthier and better for you than eating a burger and fries [PSA]

Tuesday 7 November 15:14:41 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who shot daughter's boyfriend in the groin has all charges dropped [Followup]

Tuesday 7 November 14:48:01 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Science says mayonnaise is disgusting [Fake]

Tuesday 7 November 14:24:01 UTC 2017

Fake [link] [222 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Modern-day Flintstones [Photoshop]

Tuesday 7 November 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This used to be a nice neighborhood before the old ladies started moving in [Silly]

Tuesday 7 November 13:49:18 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ted Cruz on gun control in wake of Texas shooting: "Evil is evil is evil, and will use the weaponry that is available." In related news, Ted Cruz accidentally made a good point for restricting civilian access to assault rifles [Followup]

Tuesday 7 November 13:39:53 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [517 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Name That List, #43

Tuesday 7 November 12:35:11 UTC 2017

What is this a list of? The answer is below in extended.

Adventurous Clever Crafty Cunning Deep Full of resources Ingenious Many-sided Much-versed Of many a turn Of many fortunes Of many wiles Of twists and turns Of wide-ranging spirit Prudent Restless Sagacious Shifty Skilled in all ways of contending Various-minded Versatile Wary and wise [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meanwhile, in Canada… [Amusing]

Tuesday 7 November 12:34:53 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Come back and lie to us about why you lied to us [Obvious]

Tuesday 7 November 11:52:52 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [55 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Life vs. School

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:40 UTC 2017

life memorize problem solving school - 6107878400 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: life , memorize , problem solving , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Disturbance in the Pie

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:37 UTC 2017

glitch error disturbance - 7715521536 Graph by: -HAPPYCAT- Tagged: glitch , error , disturbance Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People Use Email to Much

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:36 UTC 2017

security wtf email - 7298301440 Graph by: Stephanie Garcia Tagged: security , wtf , email Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Not Like They Read the Whole Thing Anyway

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:34 UTC 2017

essays Pie Chart reports school word count - 6498689024 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: essays , Pie Chart , reports , school , word count Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hell's Vending Machine

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:33 UTC 2017

hell spiders sunflower seeds vending machine - 6035099136 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: hell , spiders , sunflower seeds , vending machine Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When Someone Brings in Doughnuts, All Bets Are Off

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:32 UTC 2017

hunger work Line Graph lunch graphs funny - 7506515200 Graph by: TrollCat86 Tagged: hunger , work , Line Graph , lunch , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » True Occupiers Make Their Own Clothes

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:28 UTC 2017

name brand Occupy Wall Street protesters venn diagram - 5331801088 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: name brand , Occupy Wall Street , protesters , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Line You Don't Want to Cross

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:25 UTC 2017

pools graphs line graphs funny - 7594887424 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pools , graphs , line graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Shaded Area is a Shout Out to all the Bloody Mary Lovers

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:23 UTC 2017

alcohol venn diagram bacon - 7857982720 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: alcohol , venn diagram , bacon Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who Do You Want to Be?

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:21 UTC 2017

4chan anonymity facebook infographic social network transparency - 5046524672 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: 4chan , anonymity , facebook , infographic , social network , transparency Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What I do when people compliment my shirt

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:20 UTC 2017

clothing compliments look Pie Chart shirt thank you - 3214896128 Graph by: redzoo13 Tagged: clothing , compliments , look , Pie Chart , shirt , thank you Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Are There Really Any Other Options?

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:19 UTC 2017

college english fast food major Pie Chart teaching truancy story - 5873047552 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: college , english , fast food , major , Pie Chart , teaching , truancy story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » So THAT'S how it works

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:17 UTC 2017

3d blue glasses lens movies red science venn diagram - 4197228288 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: 3d , blue , glasses , lens , movies , red , science , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Money through Time

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:11 UTC 2017

50s 60s 70s 80s 90s Line Graph money time - 3254964224 Graph by: knifewounds Tagged: 50s , 60s , 70s , 80s , 90s , Line Graph , money , time Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Curse You, Pigs!

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:09 UTC 2017

angerbirds angry Pie Chart pig video games - 6341926144 Graph by: KingC776 Tagged: angerbirds , angry , Pie Chart , pig , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Coming to Theaters Everywhere: Summer 2050

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:08 UTC 2017

bar graphs transportation cars graphs funny space flight - 7648929024 Graph by: matrixcode Tagged: bar graphs , transportation , cars , graphs , funny , space flight Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Well, That's Something

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:07 UTC 2017

Jon Snow Game of Thrones graphs funny - 7430519808 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Jon Snow , Game of Thrones , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hipster Venn

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:05 UTC 2017

venn diagram hipster - 5247759872 Know the source of this? comment and tell us! Graph by: peruvianidol Tagged: venn diagram , hipster Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And It Actually Worked!

Tuesday 7 November 10:09:03 UTC 2017

featured graph passion Pie Chart self referential - 6249478912 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: featured , graph , passion , Pie Chart , self referential Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Like Doing Squats

Tuesday 7 November 10:08:59 UTC 2017

exercise jogging parenting Pie Chart - 4945812992 Graph by: kara975 Tagged: exercise , jogging , parenting , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The More Brains the Better

Tuesday 7 November 10:08:58 UTC 2017

best of week food food pyramid zombie - 5277782784 Source: CaptainMyotis Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , food , food pyramid , zombie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Overlapping Oversleeping

Tuesday 7 November 10:08:57 UTC 2017

body math school sleep time venn diagram - 4496471040 Graph by: noseonarug17 Tagged: body , math , school , sleep , time , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Popularity of Iranian Unrest In The News

Tuesday 7 November 10:08:55 UTC 2017

before die election iran michael jackson neda news popularity protests violence - 2324020992 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: before , die , election , iran , michael jackson , neda , news , popularity , protests , violence Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Need That Last One to Complete the Set!

Tuesday 7 November 10:08:53 UTC 2017

collectable memebase Pie Chart school self referential - 5385829888 Graph by: SoaD_ftw36 Tagged: collectable , memebase , Pie Chart , school , self referential Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Shake Vigorously and Dismantle the Pen, Losing the Spring in the Process

Tuesday 7 November 10:08:52 UTC 2017

annoying Office pens Pie Chart school writing - 4664965632 Graph by: kristinoct14 Tagged: annoying , Office , pens , Pie Chart , school , writing Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We live in an age where food products require all ingredients to be clearly labeled and nutritional information listed in great detail, and yet most of us couldn't tell you what exactly is in a bottle of vermouth" [Strange]

Tuesday 7 November 10:06:53 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet folksy Bank of Utah, known for wholesome community programs like children's festivals, collecting coats for the poor, and secretly registering Russian oligarch private jets [Murica]

Tuesday 7 November 9:14:21 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why is a megachurch in Houston flying the Russian flag? [Interesting]

Tuesday 7 November 8:30:40 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police capture fugitive polygamist and his wife and his wife and his wife and his wife [Cool]

Tuesday 7 November 7:30:39 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Liszt Fragment

Tuesday 7 November 6:57:18 UTC 2017

On April 10, 1886, Edward Elgar visited the Crystal Palace to attend a performance in honor of 75-year-old Franz Liszt, who was visiting England after an absence of many years. In the margin of his program Elgar made a cryptic notation: What does it mean? Anthony Thorley suggested that it was a cipher representing the words GETS YOU TO JOY, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Harvey Weinstein employed a veritable army of retired intelligence agents and private military contractors to make sure no trumped up allegations of misconduct were made by his alleged victims [Sick]

Tuesday 7 November 6:30:48 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dallas man arrested near White House for threatening to kill Sting [Stupid]

Tuesday 7 November 5:30:00 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Somewhere along the line poverty became a crime in America [Sad]

Tuesday 7 November 4:14:12 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The main question raised by the Texas church shooting? Why are good guys with guns so shiatty at stopping mass shootings? [Murica]

Tuesday 7 November 4:00:19 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [243 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » U.S. Air Force: "Oops, our bad" [Asinine]

Tuesday 7 November 3:30:20 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rheumatologist loses license for discussing stiff joints with patients [Sick]

Tuesday 7 November 2:50:05 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Miss I Hate Antonia Wright, we are sorry that we added "I hate" to your name in our first letter to you. We were supposed to write "I have written to" instead. Won't happen again. Yours, Doncaster Council. P.S. oops [Amusing]

Tuesday 7 November 2:30:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Saudi Arabia says Lebanon has declared war on it, the baba ganoush has hit the fan [News]

Tuesday 7 November 2:03:15 UTC 2017

News [link] [158 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can call tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) "The Avis Show" or "The We Try Harder Show" or even the "Missed it by THAT Much Show". Each song played tonight peaked at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart [Live]

Tuesday 7 November 1:31:08 UTC 2017

Live [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who needs coffee? Woman tells officers she smokes meth to 'stay awake' [Florida]

Tuesday 7 November 1:10:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this twisted dancer [Photoshop]

Tuesday 7 November 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man's wife trips over a small shopping cart being pushed by a young child. Naturally this is a great time to pull out a gun [Dumbass]

Tuesday 7 November 0:42:09 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Archive

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