John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Hot "Full Beaver Moon" pictures nowhere near as sophomoric as you hoped [Obvious]

Friday 3 November 23:56:45 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man killed in Sanford's fifth shooting this week. Jeez, Lamont, do something already [Florida]

Friday 3 November 23:46:45 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kevin Spacey was my friend, then he wasn't [Sick]

Friday 3 November 23:32:49 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What should we do with Native American artifacts unearthed by a storm? Seemingly unrelated pic provides an answer [Interesting]

Friday 3 November 23:16:45 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If your erection lasts more than 6,000 feet, seek immediate Alps. (Not safe for work) [Weeners]

Friday 3 November 22:46:45 UTC 2017

Weeners [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » MURICA-ready headline: So many Walmart shoppers drew their own handguns during Colorado Walmart attack that police were unable to quickly identify the suspect on CCTV [Murica]

Friday 3 November 22:16:45 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [151 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As Prince William prepares to welcome his third child, he warns that there are too many people in the world – especially in Africa [Awkward]

Friday 3 November 21:46:45 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man's amazing Technicolor house isn't winning any rave reviews with his neighbors [Stupid]

Friday 3 November 21:16:45 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hot Mexican actress arrested for battering boyfriend with birthday cake [Florida]

Friday 3 November 20:46:45 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas renames Robert E. Lee High School to Legacy of Educational Excellence High School. LEE High School, if you will [Facepalm]

Friday 3 November 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Technically Color

Friday 3 November 20:14:12 UTC 2017

Alfred Hitchcock’s 1945 film Spellbound was shot in black and white, but the conclusion contains two frames of red when a gun is fired (1:54:40 above). (This involves a big spoiler, so don’t click if you haven’t seen the movie.) [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I really have to pee ….. What's it going to be the door with Caitlyn Jenner on it or the door with Bruce Jenner on it? Confused? Not in Texas [Amusing]

Friday 3 November 20:14:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these scary balloons [Photoshop]

Friday 3 November 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » James Taylor arrested for walking down a country road to meet a teen for sex, explains that he's seen lonely times when he could not find a friend [Creepy]

Friday 3 November 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption this new iPhone X customer in Shanghai [Caption]

Friday 3 November 19:00:01 UTC 2017

Caption [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » German man calls police after mistaking a zuchinni for a bomb left over from World War 2. No word if any of his eggplants look like AR-15s [Dumbass]

Friday 3 November 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Woman gets DUI | News: On a horse | Fark: Awesome pic of sad horse by police car [Florida]

Friday 3 November 18:43:24 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One person escapes as home explodes in Sultan. Man, if they'd had a swing, they'd really have been in dire straits [Scary]

Friday 3 November 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone thinks this is the most expensive taco in the world. They have not seen Subby's $10.5M taco made from unicorn meat and pixie dust [Asinine]

Friday 3 November 17:46:45 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Department of Defense is not planning a nation-wide EMP pulse on November 4, according to spokesman. Good, I wouldn't want that to interfere with getting murdered by Antifa death squads [Facepalm]

Friday 3 November 16:50:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [197 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rare condition causes man to hear England's National Anthem playing in his head on a loop [Strange]

Friday 3 November 16:20:06 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » AWOL reigning champion Bowe Bergdahl avoids prison [Repeat]

Friday 3 November 16:08:02 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [251 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Secret Service apprehends person for suspicious activity in front of White House. Suspicious activity inside White House still under investigation [Murica]

Friday 3 November 16:08:01 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thieves steal more than $300,000 worth of new iPhones from a truck in San Francisco. Police hope to recover all 300 phones. That's not a joke [Murica]

Friday 3 November 16:08:01 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chief executive of Kenya film classification board: Gay lions 'need counselling' and 'must have been influenced by homosexual men behaving badly in national parks'. Jesus Christ [Stupid]

Friday 3 November 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone's not lovin' it [Dumbass]

Friday 3 November 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If God exists, then how come space does too? [Interesting]

Friday 3 November 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [302 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hershey to introduce a new candy bar with no chocolate. This is different from their other bars how? [Interesting]

Friday 3 November 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [44 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » French Key Ring Craze

Friday 3 November 14:17:42 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man takes to streets of Las Vegas wearing t-shirt with cool-looking foreign word on the front, is surprised to discover it means "Sisterf***er" and not "I love you" [Awkward]

Friday 3 November 13:50:05 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [96 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Coffee For Dogs

Friday 3 November 13:35:00 UTC 2017

Nordic entrepreneur Jakutyte is trying to launch a new product on Kickstarter. It's coffee for dogs. Or, as she's calling it, "Rooffee." She came up with that name, she said, by combining the words roots and coffee. (Surprised me it wasn't Wroof and coffee… but that would be Wrooffee.) She swears she didn't know there's a date-rape drug called roofies. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this red hat society [Photoshop]

Friday 3 November 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: Woman who got her dead dog's paw prints tattooed on her breasts worries it's made her undateable [Creepy]

Friday 3 November 12:50:07 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [245 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No, you should not put mayonnaise on your houseplants [Silly]

Friday 3 November 12:11:20 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stupid: Trying to break into fried chicken shop. Stupider: Getting stuck in an air vent for 7 hours (link fixed) [Awkward]

Friday 3 November 11:20:05 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It. Was. The. Russians. [News]

Friday 3 November 10:47:45 UTC 2017

News [link] [259 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One of the younger brothers of the Las Vegas shooter is just as charming, caring, and compassionate as his big bro [Scary]

Friday 3 November 9:18:20 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Earth's ozone hole has shriveled back down to the size it was in 1988. Take that, Al Gore [Spiffy]

Friday 3 November 8:29:03 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [82 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » It's the Little Things That Matter

Friday 3 November 8:20:50 UTC 2017

best of week desert island desserts spelling venn diagram - 6416752128 Graph by: (via Sunny-Nihilist) Tagged: best of week , desert island , desserts , spelling , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Game of Thrones

Friday 3 November 8:20:49 UTC 2017

Game of Thrones flowcharts graphs funny - 7575205376 Graph by: (via Cam's Internet Brain) Tagged: Game of Thrones , flowcharts , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When I Get Sick

Friday 3 November 8:20:48 UTC 2017

fun weekend sick - 7782877696 Graph by: history507 Tagged: fun , weekend , sick Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Food Looks

Friday 3 November 8:20:47 UTC 2017

food menu neighbor picture plate - 2359842048 Graph by: Alcnor Tagged: food , menu , neighbor , picture , plate Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who Needs a Panflute?

Friday 3 November 8:20:46 UTC 2017

wtf panflute flowchart - 7415836928 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: wtf , panflute , flowchart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Something About Kinetic Energy, or Was It Potential

Friday 3 November 8:20:44 UTC 2017

infinite cycle battery energy - 7709420288 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: infinite , cycle , battery , energy Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Good Rule of Thumb on Powerpoint Presentations

Friday 3 November 8:20:42 UTC 2017

work powerpoint Line Graph - 7887661824 Submitted by: (via estreitinho) Tagged: work , powerpoint , Line Graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Shortest Review of Prometheus You Will See

Friday 3 November 8:20:40 UTC 2017

best of week plot holes prometheus review trucks - 6351557376 Graph by: buckles_b (via Bite) Tagged: best of week , plot holes , prometheus , review , trucks Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Venn Diagrams? You Can't Explain That

Friday 3 November 8:20:38 UTC 2017

bill-oreilly god the moon universe venn diagram you-cant-explain-that - 4463638272 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bill-oreilly , god , the moon , universe , venn diagram , you-cant-explain-that Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Loud My Computer's Speakers Are

Friday 3 November 8:20:37 UTC 2017

computer crowded early Line Graph listening loud morning Music perfect silent speakers Video watching - 2582379008 Graph by: blackrapier Tagged: computer , crowded , early , Line Graph , listening , loud , morning , Music , perfect , silent , speakers , Video , watching Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Too Cute To Work

Friday 3 November 8:20:36 UTC 2017

dogs Bar Graph puppies work cute - 7846034432 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: dogs , Bar Graph , puppies , work , cute Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How people die in Final Destination

Friday 3 November 8:20:33 UTC 2017

annoying Death Final Destination kit kat movies Pie Chart - 5125884672 [polldaddy poll="5453503"] Graph by: mybigfannypack (via Kingsley) Tagged: annoying , Death , Final Destination , kit kat , movies , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Think I May Fall Into the Hate Category

Friday 3 November 8:20:32 UTC 2017

cat hate love pets venn diagram - 4820189184 Graph by: (via Pleated-Jeans) Tagged: cat , hate , love , pets , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They Do Have the Power Rangers Movie, Though

Friday 3 November 8:20:31 UTC 2017

movies netflix streaming television venn diagram watch instantly - 4916503808 Graph by: tsel Tagged: movies , netflix , streaming , television , venn diagram , watch instantly Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And Never the Two Shall Meet

Friday 3 November 8:20:29 UTC 2017

movember mustache venn diagram - 7901168128 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: movember , mustache , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Scary Out There

Friday 3 November 8:20:28 UTC 2017

outside Pie Chart summer tan - 5022873856 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: outside , Pie Chart , summer , tan Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Maybe It Will Do Something This Time

Friday 3 November 8:20:21 UTC 2017

fish magikarp Pie Chart Pokémon splash - 5773309696 Graph by: eebootwo Tagged: fish , magikarp , Pie Chart , Pokémon , splash Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not Pictured: Stalking Hotties

Friday 3 November 8:20:20 UTC 2017

google earth Maps Pie Chart satellite - 4648272896 Graph by: Ancel3 Tagged: google earth , Maps , Pie Chart , satellite Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'm Not Aging Gracefully

Friday 3 November 8:20:19 UTC 2017

farts aging graphs line graphs funny - 7602152448 Graph by: allenrw3 Tagged: farts , aging , graphs , line graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » American Map According to Europeans

Friday 3 November 8:20:17 UTC 2017

americans bigger europeans idiots infographic Maps texans - 4041717760 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: americans , bigger , europeans , idiots , infographic , Maps , texans Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Go Study in a Dungeon

Friday 3 November 8:20:16 UTC 2017

internet Line Graph procrastination studying - 4741473792 Graph by: Tagged: internet , Line Graph , procrastination , studying Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Key to Success

Friday 3 November 8:20:12 UTC 2017

FAIL youtube success girls Pie Chart - 7003402240 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: FAIL , youtube , success , girls , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Some People Think You Can Never Be Blessed Enough

Friday 3 November 8:20:11 UTC 2017

bless you doctor ocd pope sneezing - 6565061376 Graph by: buckles_b (via Bite) Tagged: bless you , doctor , ocd , pope , sneezing Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Oh my God! Edward Cullen is a Zubat!!

Friday 3 November 8:20:10 UTC 2017

edward cullen shiny vampires venn diagram zubat - 6445753856 Graph by: luffyremy Tagged: edward cullen , shiny , vampires , venn diagram , zubat Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Should've Called it the Xbox 2Pi

Friday 3 November 8:20:07 UTC 2017

consoles gaming nintendo 64 ps2 graphs xbox 360 funny xbox one PlayStation 4 ps3 - 7497115136 Graph by: MasterKitteh Tagged: consoles , gaming , nintendo 64 , ps2 , graphs , xbox 360 , funny , xbox one , PlayStation 4 , ps3 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Wish

Friday 3 November 8:20:05 UTC 2017

dodge ball PE Pie Chart school truancy story - 5957794304 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: dodge ball , PE , Pie Chart , school , truancy story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Your Friends Are Jerks

Friday 3 November 8:20:04 UTC 2017

injury friends crutches - 7205071104 Graph by: Flutter_S Tagged: injury , friends , crutches Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Care for Some Tea?

Friday 3 November 8:20:03 UTC 2017

best of week Jedi Memes posh royalty tea time the force - 6335470592 Submitted by: littlesisterlauren Tagged: best of week , Jedi , Memes , posh , royalty , tea time , the force Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » All plastic-handled Kidde-brand fire extinguishers made since 1973 have been recalled [Interesting]

Friday 3 November 7:07:06 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » An Ear for Geography

Friday 3 November 6:30:11 UTC 2017

Is it possible for someone who has had no musical training whatsoever, and who has never learned the names of the notes, to be known by others to have absolute pitch? The answer is YES! I knew a police officer who was totally unmusical, and never knew the names of the notes, who nevertheless was known to have absolute pitch. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chinese hipster millionaire graphic novel artist traveling with grandma spends $10K on fake Scotch whiskey. No, this is not a Mad Lib [Interesting]

Friday 3 November 6:05:32 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This steak is a little stringy [Strange]

Friday 3 November 5:45:15 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ugly-ass Asian clawed otter pups born squeeking away in Santa Barbara [Sappy]

Friday 3 November 5:09:43 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If your dog gets hit by a car, beating the closest pedestrian won't bring the dog back bring the dog back [Florida]

Friday 3 November 4:57:20 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OMFG shut the hell up, Pat [Asinine]

Friday 3 November 4:57:07 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [160 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » France tightens rules to award the Legion of Honor; having co-starred in Jerry Lewis films remains questionable qualification [Interesting]

Friday 3 November 4:00:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bomb making suspects plot foiled when they bought wrong type of nail polish remover. He must have missed that day in ISIS school [Fail]

Friday 3 November 3:59:13 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A political pamphlet encourages voters to deport: A): The Blacks, B): The Jews or C): The Asians [Dumbass]

Friday 3 November 3:02:46 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Soon-to-be-bankrupt bar offering $5 Moscow Meullers for every time an indictment is made public [Amusing]

Friday 3 November 2:44:07 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Union bosses tell DNAInfo and Gothamist employees that threats to shut down the sites if they unionize are just "textbook union-busting tactics." DNAInfo and Gothamist employees then vote to join union. Guess what happens next [Awkward]

Friday 3 November 2:43:50 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [177 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "So pop your cherry and have a good night's sleep. Interestingly, that also works in a more metaphorical sense" [PSA]

Friday 3 November 2:17:27 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Surgeons remove 639 nails from patient's intestines. Apparently he misunderstood the diagnosis of an iron deficiency [Strange]

Friday 3 November 2:02:30 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Babysitter kidnaps boy, convinces ex-boyfriend the child was theirs, may not have thought her plan through [Dumbass]

Friday 3 November 1:40:47 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dad steals kids' trick or treat haul and discovers treats are 18 years out of date, reacts in the most British way possible: "Bloody hell, that's weird" [Strange]

Friday 3 November 1:24:07 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two white men are charged with murder after they dragged a black man behind a truck where they also stabbed him because he'd been socializing with a white woman. Sadly not a repeat from the '50s but it is in the South [Sick]

Friday 3 November 0:31:43 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not content with the status quo, Australia imported a couple thousand Portuguese Man O'Wars [Scary]

Friday 3 November 0:30:47 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man shoots himself in penis while robbing hot dog stand [Weeners]

Friday 3 November 0:21:19 UTC 2017

Weeners [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Male mammoths died in more stupid ways than females, usually after trumpeting, "Hold my beer and watch this" [Weird]

Friday 3 November 0:04:07 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this piece of wood [Photoshop]

Friday 3 November 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Archive

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