John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » That time after a match when Ric Flair ordered 137 Kamikazes [Hero]

Wednesday 1 November 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently, Osama was a hentai porn-hound [Giggity]

Wednesday 1 November 23:47:55 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man found dead at Tunbridge Wells sex festival died from MDMA overdose. In other news, THERES A SEX FESTIVAL AT TUNBRIDGE WELLS, KENT (possible nsfw content on page) [Interesting]

Wednesday 1 November 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Corrosion exceeding technical limits" found on a) Yugo steering column, b) 1960s-era nuclear submarine shower pipes, c) brand-spanking-new F-35A outer panel where it meets the airframe [Facepalm]

Wednesday 1 November 22:38:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The next time your mom or your wife chides you for falling asleep during the sermon just tell her you are following the lead of the Pope [Interesting]

Wednesday 1 November 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's quitting, and there's quitting in style, and then there's quitting and blowing everything up on the way out [Amusing]

Wednesday 1 November 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Audi Owner: Hi, I'm calling to check to see if my Audi R8 is ready to pick up from service. Service Manager: Yeah, about that…. [News]

Wednesday 1 November 20:50:05 UTC 2017

News [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Surprising no one, the NYC Home Depot truck terrorist turns out to be Florida Man [Florida]

Wednesday 1 November 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this forlorn automobile [Photoshop]

Wednesday 1 November 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Navy faults both U.S. warships in recent collisions, as predicted by Farkers [Followup]

Wednesday 1 November 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here are 3 things to do with leftover Halloween candy, and they're actually pretty good ideas [PSA]

Wednesday 1 November 19:20:05 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family unwittingly stays in and favorably reviews Airbnb flat owned by one of Paul Manafort's shell corporations, and now can't decide if it's creepy, weird, or kind of awesome [Weird]

Wednesday 1 November 19:11:50 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's poppin' off the top of Papadopoulos' esophagus is rockin' this metropolis [Interesting]

Wednesday 1 November 19:05:11 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Our city has become a giant attraction park" due to terrible phenomenon of beer bikes [Cool]

Wednesday 1 November 18:50:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Non-smokers given extra paid time off to compensate for smoke breaks in one Japanese company. For Americans, 'paid time off' is when you get paid for not being at work [Interesting]

Wednesday 1 November 18:20:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Despite magic underwear, more Utah high school seniors drinking alcohol [PSA]

Wednesday 1 November 17:50:05 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Skyline

Wednesday 1 November 17:35:48 UTC 2017

At a 1931 costume ball, seven New York architects appeared as their own buildings. Left to right: A. Stewart Walker as the Fuller Building; Leonard Schultze as the Waldorf-Astoria; Ely Jacques Kahn as the Squibb Building; William Van Alen as the Chrysler Building; Ralph Walker as One Wall Street; D.E. Ward as the Metropolitan Tower; and Joseph H. Freedlander as … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'High air pressure' prevents televisions in UK from working. Jeez, get a tire gauge, guys, UK electronics are only rated for 30 PSI [Strange]

Wednesday 1 November 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kum & Go robbed Monday night, Boy George wanted for questioning [Misc]

Wednesday 1 November 16:50:05 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The best thing about this article on the 25 average longest commute times in the U.S. may be the picture selected to represent St. Louis [Amusing]

Wednesday 1 November 16:27:38 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [232 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman attacks a man with her breasts because he harassed her, charged with attempted mamslaughter (possibly not safe for work) [Strange]

Wednesday 1 November 16:26:39 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Open Enrollment for the ACA starts today, get it before it's gone [Murica]

Wednesday 1 November 16:20:04 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yes? [Murica]

Wednesday 1 November 15:36:32 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Felon who fired his public defenders, to act as his own attorney in fatal shoot-out case, starts rough when his ex-girlfriend testifies for the prosecution: "When did your feelings change?" "When you shot at the car" [Murica]

Wednesday 1 November 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [52 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Japananese McDonald’s Cherry Blossom Menu

Wednesday 1 November 15:11:56 UTC 2017

The drink.

The fries.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » It took Levi more than a dozen pumpkins and 4 and a half hours to carve out "will you marry me" along with "yes". Technically he could have saved himself some work carving 'no' [Sappy]

Wednesday 1 November 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Idiot lights a firework clenched between his bum cheeks. Shockingly, it doesn't go well (not safe for work) [Stupid]

Wednesday 1 November 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [75 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Pinky Bonded

Wednesday 1 November 13:29:00 UTC 2017

Rachel Deckert was supposed to turn herself in at the Lewis County Jail on an outstanding misdemeanor warrant. She did. Problem was, she was pinky bonded to her girlfriend, and they couldn't separate. As a form of couples therapy the two had used epoxy to glue their pinky fingers together inside a copper pipe.

Said Detective Patty Finch, "They haven’t … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Terror suspect was a rude customer at a local NJ supermarket. If that's the bar for determining a who is a potential terrorist in NYC, Trump better build that wall at the Lincoln Tunnel [Obvious]

Wednesday 1 November 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this couple out for a drive [Photoshop]

Wednesday 1 November 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More adorable costume-wearing dogs for this Halloween Woofday Wednesday [Cool]

Wednesday 1 November 13:00:00 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Starbucks begins its war on Christmas [PSA]

Wednesday 1 November 12:50:06 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's better to be a true materialist instead of a true consumerist because at least a materialist takes pleasure in what he or she already owns [Interesting]

Wednesday 1 November 12:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Letter writer to agony aunt: Oh, poor me, my sweet, loving, caring boyfriend who isn't afraid to show me how he feels and sends me sweet random texts throughout the day isn't romantic enough [Facepalm]

Wednesday 1 November 11:50:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [193 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A tunnel collapses under Best Korea's nuclear mountain, trapping 100 miners. So they send in another 100 miners to rescue them. Then the tunnel collapses again [Scary]

Wednesday 1 November 11:46:56 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What with all this sexual assault by Hollywood types and Donald Trump, at least we have men of the cloth that we can count on to do the right thing. Right? [Creepy]

Wednesday 1 November 11:26:02 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baby with the last name of 'Frankenstein' born at a Florida hospital on Halloween. That's Fronkensteen [Florida]

Wednesday 1 November 10:38:22 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Giggle Wiggles Family Fiesta : Family Fiesta [FarkParty]

Wednesday 1 November 10:27:59 UTC 2017

FarkParty [link] [23 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » They All Go into Hiding

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:57 UTC 2017

anne frank diary Harry Potter hiding hitler venn diagram voldemort - 4405707008 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: anne frank , diary , Harry Potter , hiding , hitler , venn diagram , voldemort Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Musical Taste is Not Genetic

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:55 UTC 2017

Music metallica screamo siblings graphs funny brothers venn diagram - 7497206528 Graph by: Banamina Tagged: Music , metallica , screamo , siblings , graphs , funny , brothers , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'm Not Picky

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:54 UTC 2017

eat food location Pie Chart - 4807266048 Graph by: ShadowAce Tagged: eat , food , location , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Neutral Like A Switzerland Gym Leader

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:52 UTC 2017

genwars Pokémon the internet video games - 7857922048 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: genwars , Pokémon , the internet , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Boy paradox

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:51 UTC 2017

asshole boy dumb gay handsome nerd nice paradox smart venn diagram - 2596182528 Graph by: dvhk Tagged: asshole , boy , dumb , gay , handsome , nerd , nice , paradox , smart , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'm Pretty Gangster Myself

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:50 UTC 2017

best of week gang signs gangster - 5902723840 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: best of week , gang signs , gangster Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Slow Peel or Fast Rip?

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:49 UTC 2017

bandaids band aids Bar Graph injuries ow pain wounds - 4671557376 Graph by: Fede310 Tagged: bandaids , band aids , Bar Graph , injuries , ow , pain , wounds Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Stay in School, Kids

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:48 UTC 2017

drop out inmates school bus stay in school - 6411427584 Graph by: (via Jalopnik) Tagged: drop out , inmates , school bus , stay in school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » There Is no Try

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:47 UTC 2017

dagobah Pie Chart star wars swamp yoda - 4652179200 Graph by: (via Pop Chart Lab) Tagged: dagobah , Pie Chart , star wars , swamp , yoda Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That Doesn't Seem Ethical

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:46 UTC 2017

animals infographic peta Sad - 5020481024 Graph by: GrinningRat Tagged: animals , infographic , peta , Sad Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things We Will Do

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:43 UTC 2017

Songs taylor swift Music we are never ever getting back together the time warp - 6765469952 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Songs , taylor swift , Music , we are never ever getting back together , the time warp Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Derpiest Font

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:38 UTC 2017

comic sans critters dogs fonts - 4773445120 Graph by: GrinningRat Tagged: comic sans , critters , dogs , fonts Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » In It to Win It

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:37 UTC 2017

cake birthday friend - 7651780864 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cake , birthday , friend Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Country Where I Want to Be

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:36 UTC 2017

Finland infographic languages spelling weird - 4643449344 Graph by: stag3k Tagged: Finland , infographic , languages , spelling , weird Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Decisions Did Everyone Make in Mass Effect 3?

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:34 UTC 2017

BioWare mass effect mass effect 3 infographic - 7166091520 Submitted by: (via Twitter) Tagged: BioWare , mass effect , mass effect 3 , infographic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Tie-agram

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:33 UTC 2017

chart art difficult flow chart tie T.Shirt tying - 3972198656 via http://hawaiiansdonotblog.tumblr.co~ Graph by: Unknown Tagged: chart art , difficult , flow chart , tie , T.Shirt , tying Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Rock, Paper, I Will Cut You

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:30 UTC 2017

hand games rock paper scissors rules - 4903684608 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: hand games , rock paper scissors , rules Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » At Least You Can Still Look Cool

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:29 UTC 2017

Bar Graph fuel efficiency green motorcycle - 6186510848 Comic by: fordps3 Tagged: Bar Graph , fuel efficiency , green , motorcycle Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Strength of My Phone's Vibrate Function

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:25 UTC 2017

airplane asleep Bar Graph cell phones cinema class function loud Movie need nuclear war school strength take off vibrate walking - 2626969600 Graph by: iainbanana Tagged: airplane , asleep , Bar Graph , cell phones , cinema , class , function , loud , Movie , need , nuclear war , school , strength , take off , vibrate , walking Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » No Good Answer Here

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:22 UTC 2017

bad idea answer am i fat - 4505057024 Graph by: SkyFly Tagged: bad idea , answer , am i fat Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Said DON'T Do It

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:19 UTC 2017

look dont Pie Chart - 6788987136 Graph by: zackaroowho01 Tagged: look , dont , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Appeal of Twilight in relation to age of girl.

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:17 UTC 2017

age appeal fangirl girl Line Graph mom mother scary twilight - 2667985664 Graph by: EliCarro Tagged: age , appeal , fangirl , girl , Line Graph , mom , mother , scary , twilight Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: It's the Best Use

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:16 UTC 2017

self referential meme classic Pie Chart - 6973757952 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: self referential , meme , classic , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » If You Don't Pass This Along, a Girl Will Die

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:15 UTC 2017

Bar Graph emails inbox weird al - 5230754304 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , emails , inbox , weird al Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Never Gonna Trust That Link

Wednesday 1 November 10:11:12 UTC 2017

Pie Chart rick roll short link tinyurl - 5204082688 Graph by: pocketpiglet Tagged: Pie Chart , rick roll , short link , tinyurl Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pop quiz – You're driving drunk on the Interstate and carrying coke. What's the best way to show your wang to other drivers? [Dumbass]

Wednesday 1 November 10:06:56 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Millennial "baller on a budget" amazed at the browning of meat prior to cooking it another way. Extra millennial tip? Better quality meat tastes better [Sad]

Wednesday 1 November 9:07:55 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This story has it all. A Bishop sleeping with 2 sisters, voodoo curses, exorcisms, jealous psychics, Dan Cortese [Weird]

Wednesday 1 November 8:40:55 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have you had a blood transfusion? Congratulations You probably have Alzheimer's [Scary]

Wednesday 1 November 7:46:09 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When a 5-year-old hears "Fire Safety Week," guess what word catches their attention the most? [Stupid]

Wednesday 1 November 7:00:05 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » National Pervert Radio [Sick]

Wednesday 1 November 6:37:01 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Elderly Arkansas woman shoots, kills 19-year-old home intruder [Hero]

Wednesday 1 November 6:35:07 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [160 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Falsely arrested Utah nurse settles for $500,000 [Followup]

Wednesday 1 November 6:25:06 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Above It All

Wednesday 1 November 6:07:08 UTC 2017

Here’s a lost art: “Ceiling walking” was a popular form of American entertainment as early as 1806, when “Sanches, the Wonderful Antipodean” wore iron shoes that were “fitted in grooves in a board fastened to the top of the stage.” Spectacles such as this were drawing crowds right through the 19th century. In New Orleans in the 1880s a young … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not News: Two young men argue. News: One shoots the other twice in the head. Fark: They were arguing over the Biblical meaning of forgiveness [Stupid]

Wednesday 1 November 5:57:57 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some Schmunk decided the best way to transport a kid's swimming pool would be on top of the mini van. With a child inside it. But don't worry, he was strapped into the pool [Facepalm]

Wednesday 1 November 5:45:02 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Real cricket tacos now on sale at Atlanta Hawks arena, much better those other guys' fake cricket tacos [Strange]

Wednesday 1 November 4:28:21 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » White girl who rubbed used tampons on her black roommate's bag gets arrested [Weird]

Wednesday 1 November 4:05:59 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NPR nails it [Amusing]

Wednesday 1 November 3:23:07 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who do you turn to if you want to find out how to hack a butt plug? Why, a penetration tester, of course [Giggity]

Wednesday 1 November 3:16:06 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I-Mockery's annual ultimate guide to the Halloween candies of 2017 has arrived [Cool]

Wednesday 1 November 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Butt dial 911 while playing "Call of Duty"? You better believe that's a robust police response [Fail]

Wednesday 1 November 2:10:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not the usual Rodney Dangerfield joke ending [Asinine]

Wednesday 1 November 1:30:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Trick or meth" is itself a trick: the trick is meth, and the meth is meth. Your kid is getting meth [Scary]

Wednesday 1 November 1:25:32 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC will finally shed its conservative stifled attitude, and allow dancing in bars. I had a footloose joke that was great when I read this on the train this morning, trust me, but now I can't remember it [Followup]

Wednesday 1 November 0:51:24 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cop says to black girl on street, "Let's dance". Then…. what? They actually dance? Awwww [Sappy]

Wednesday 1 November 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hostage situation at an elementary school in Riverside, CA, as reports say parent has taken a teacher hostage [News]

Wednesday 1 November 0:38:19 UTC 2017

News [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 50 years ago UFOs attacked Newfield, New York and the Air Force was called in [Scary]

Wednesday 1 November 0:10:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this clown somewhere unexpected [Photoshop]

Wednesday 1 November 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Archive

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