John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Man has surgery to reduce his 11 pound testicles, 3 foot penis, and wheelbarrow stable [Scary]

Thursday 26 October 23:53:59 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Heartbeats matter [News]

Thursday 26 October 23:39:31 UTC 2017

News [link] [337 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Learned It in Prison

Thursday 26 October 23:39:14 UTC 2017

Female cube dweller: We're moving next week, but it's taking forever to get everything packed. Michael is such an anal packer. Charleston, South Carolina [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why do men fear female armpit hair? [Interesting]

Thursday 26 October 23:33:27 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [195 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know how some people leave a religious tract instead of a tip? This is like that, except awesome [Spiffy]

Thursday 26 October 23:20:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Girl Scouts cleaning shoreline of Brooklyn creek find 7 dead cats in plastic bags, say it's a nice change of pace from dead hookers and mob informants [Sick]

Thursday 26 October 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family Dollar truck gets stuck on sharp mountain highway curve. Recovery efforts to cost more than truck's contents [Fail]

Thursday 26 October 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: It's that time of year so break out the squash recipes and help your fellow Farkers enjoy the season [Interesting]

Thursday 26 October 21:00:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "And who's been sleeping in my bed?" asked Goldilocks [Amusing]

Thursday 26 October 20:46:44 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Four Play

Thursday 26 October 20:32:50 UTC 2017

It’s a popular recreation to try to arrange four 4s into various expressions to generate the whole numbers, like so: 1 = 4 ÷ 4 + 4 – 4
2 = 4 – (4 + 4) ÷ 4
3 = (4 × 4 – 4) ÷ 4
4 = 4 + 4 × (4 – 4)
5 = (4 × … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you like free booze and are over 50 years old? Do we have a study for you [Cool]

Thursday 26 October 20:16:44 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this child and his chicken [Photoshop]

Thursday 26 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » National Park Service realizes that a 45-foot statue of a naked woman on the National Mall would have breasts and other icky womanly things; reverses its approval [Stupid]

Thursday 26 October 19:34:04 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Head tax for homeless irks businesses. To be fair, if there's a homeless person with more than one head, they probably should be taxed more somehow [Interesting]

Thursday 26 October 19:10:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » China tests out world's first driverless train that doesn't run on rails. Off the rails Casey Jones, still driving while on cocaine impressed [Interesting]

Thursday 26 October 18:43:24 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If your nipples leak, you might have a brain tumor [Interesting]

Thursday 26 October 18:16:44 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Twitter is banning ads from Russian media outlets RT, Sputnik and Fark.com [Interesting]

Thursday 26 October 18:08:06 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Indiana appeals court rules sex offenders can attend church with children present. Guess there won't be a priest shortage after all [Asinine]

Thursday 26 October 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » College of the Ozarks creates mandatory patriotism class. Would you like to know more? [Murica]

Thursday 26 October 17:31:53 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tampa mayor to city's police force: "Give me head"… waitasec…Well it was something like that [Florida]

Thursday 26 October 17:10:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know it's an epic 'hold my beer' moment when the homemade explosive device you are working on explodes and the cops don't find your body until a day later [Murica]

Thursday 26 October 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gun safety lesson inadvertently teaches 10-year-old boy valuable lesson, to wit: "Do not attend gun safety lessons taught by Florida police" [Florida]

Thursday 26 October 16:37:13 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For some reason, the U.S. Air Force is tweeting that Santa Claus isn't real [Weird]

Thursday 26 October 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone in Louisiana just hit the $191.1 million dollar jackpot. Will immediately buy shoes, teeth [Obvious]

Thursday 26 October 16:06:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » RCMP accused of not telling employees there was lead at a firing range, hydrogen in snow [Asinine]

Thursday 26 October 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Denver news anchor tries the "worlds spiciest potato chip," The Aristocrats ensues [Fail]

Thursday 26 October 15:35:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boa constrictor found in hotel bed, found before it could do what is described in that Shel Silverstein poem [Scary]

Thursday 26 October 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Massachusetts may leave the Eastern Time Zone. Here come the post-8 a.m. sunrises [Silly]

Thursday 26 October 15:08:34 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oooooooo, Ahhhhhhhhh [Scary]

Thursday 26 October 14:46:45 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Jack Punter’s House

Thursday 26 October 14:21:45 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC mayoral candidate Aaron Commey once hijacked an airplane with a handgun and demanded it be flown to Antarctica or Argentina to battle a make-believe group of evil-doers. He should be fun [Strange]

Thursday 26 October 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida woman's dress repeatedly blows up to expose her lady parts, obviously necessitating MASSIVE law enforcement response [Florida]

Thursday 26 October 14:14:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nose-picking masturbator terrorizes NYC subway riders [Creepy]

Thursday 26 October 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's sticky item spilled all over a highway: Mango juice [Misc]

Thursday 26 October 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [27 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » All Are Welcome

Thursday 26 October 13:19:00 UTC 2017

There's been controversy recently in the town of Groton, Massachusetts over eight stone markers that were installed on roads leading into the town engraved with the phrase "Town of Groton — All Are Welcome."

Some citizens expressed concern that the phrase might be taken literally, and that "those with a criminal or terrorist background" might feel they were being invited … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this love bread [Photoshop]

Thursday 26 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Like bananas? Prepare to live without them [Sad]

Thursday 26 October 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [175 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Game change: sexual harassment edition [Creepy]

Thursday 26 October 12:13:26 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline: "I'm selling my ranch after aliens tried to abduct my wife" [Amusing]

Thursday 26 October 11:36:27 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nazis are using leaked psychological manipulation techniques in their war against non-Nazis. Nazissuckreally shortmicroweenies [Creepy]

Thursday 26 October 11:19:27 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [151 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cheerios will no longer be able to call itself "gluten-free". "Taste-free" still perfectly acceptable [Asinine]

Thursday 26 October 11:18:00 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Every minute" said gamblers, confidence men, Steve Bannon, and maybe even P. T. Barnum. "Every minute" [Hero]

Thursday 26 October 10:54:26 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If we all really want clean air, instead of making electric cars why don't we just get rid of cars altogether? [Unlikely]

Thursday 26 October 10:35:27 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [187 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline: Woman who married herself gives in to temptation and cheats on herself [Silly]

Thursday 26 October 9:47:26 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arizona opens up its first marijuana dispensary drive-thru, because that's just how they roll [Spiffy]

Thursday 26 October 8:20:00 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's one thing Kate Middleton never wears, if you know what I mean [Giggity]

Thursday 26 October 7:35:03 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [91 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Level of attraction between me and the waitress versus drinks taken

Thursday 26 October 7:18:42 UTC 2017

attractive drinking drunk waitress - 1840396544 LoL by: nevillesingular Tagged: attractive , drinking , drunk , waitress Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Way to Take the Magic Away

Thursday 26 October 7:18:39 UTC 2017

cartoons drugs prescription Sad winnie the pooh - 5042541312 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cartoons , drugs , prescription , Sad , winnie the pooh Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Real Reason Why Tyra Banks Does America's Next Top Model

Thursday 26 October 7:18:36 UTC 2017

Americas Next Top Model face models opinions panel Pie Chart pose reality tv stupid supermodels talk TV Tyra Banks - 3452644608 The real reason why Tyra does what she does Graph by: lasloan Tagged: Americas Next Top Model , face , models , opinions , panel , Pie Chart , pose , reality tv , stupid , supermodels , talk , TV , Tyra Banks Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » CHANCES I'LL CATCH MY TYPOS

Thursday 26 October 7:18:32 UTC 2017

Bar Graph careful catch nanosecond proofreading save typos - 2566184192 Graph by: dogheadbuttchow Tagged: Bar Graph , careful , catch , nanosecond , proofreading , save , typos Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How To Succeed At Job Interviews, Or Just About Anything, Really

Thursday 26 October 7:18:31 UTC 2017

job job interviews knocker - 5531244544 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: job , job interviews , knocker Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons Why I've feared for my life on a plane

Thursday 26 October 7:18:30 UTC 2017

airline airport bathroom children emergency fear kids plane - 1789198592 LoL by: AATFC Tagged: airline , airport , bathroom , children , emergency , fear , kids , plane Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Epic Drum Solo Time

Thursday 26 October 7:18:29 UTC 2017

drum solo pie charts pencils graphs funny - 4489338624 Graph by: Samsaysheyllo Tagged: drum solo , pie charts , pencils , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Birds Have Nothing on My Anger

Thursday 26 October 7:18:28 UTC 2017

angry birds Pie Chart pig video games - 5763960832 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: angry birds , Pie Chart , pig , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Context is Important

Thursday 26 October 7:18:26 UTC 2017

radio bar graphs ipod favorite song graphs funny - 4458012416 Graph by: Vilame Tagged: radio , bar graphs , ipod , favorite song , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Like a Napkin You Wear

Thursday 26 October 7:18:24 UTC 2017

napkins hands Pie Chart pants - 6662078208 Graph by: rosexoxo Tagged: napkins , hands , Pie Chart , pants Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Two Music Titans Go Head to Head

Thursday 26 October 7:18:22 UTC 2017

Music spotify infographic pandora - 7111418368 Graph by: (via Thinkstripes) Tagged: Music , spotify , infographic , pandora Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Nyan!

Thursday 26 October 7:18:21 UTC 2017

animals cat creepy cute Line Graph - 4795718400 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: animals , cat , creepy , cute , Line Graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sweet Mother o' Mercy

Thursday 26 October 7:18:19 UTC 2017

fergie guns n roses oh gosh what is that sound Pie Chart super bowl XLV sweet child of mine - 4438648576 Graph by: vahkichaser2 Tagged: fergie , guns n roses , oh gosh what is that sound , Pie Chart , super bowl XLV , sweet child of mine Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Pls Stahp

Thursday 26 October 7:18:18 UTC 2017

Music Vanilla Ice hammer time - 5163441152 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Music , Vanilla Ice , hammer time Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why I Became a Professor

Thursday 26 October 7:18:17 UTC 2017

free impress people Pie Chart professor stuff teacher university young - 2437088000 Graph by: fish_stew Tagged: free , impress , people , Pie Chart , professor , stuff , teacher , university , young Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Bane of Karaoke Nights

Thursday 26 October 7:18:16 UTC 2017

Music graphs line graphs funny - 7579349760 Graph by: Jeffreyd1 Tagged: Music , graphs , line graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My Bucket List

Thursday 26 October 7:18:15 UTC 2017

best of week bucket bucket list pig Willy Wonka - 5508994816 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: best of week , bucket , bucket list , pig , Willy Wonka Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Even on Vibrate

Thursday 26 October 7:18:14 UTC 2017

Bar Graph loud noise phone sms text message - 4731712512 I swear, my phone always manages to find my keys so the noise is even louder. Graph by: TheSuperFace Tagged: Bar Graph , loud , noise , phone , sms , text message Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Fear of Teenagers

Thursday 26 October 7:18:13 UTC 2017

20s 30s 40s 50s 60s elderly fear kids teenagers - 2254365952 Graph by: chrisrichards Tagged: 20s , 30s , 40s , 50s , 60s , elderly , fear , kids , teenagers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time for My Break

Thursday 26 October 7:18:12 UTC 2017

angry birds bathroom break time Pie Chart work - 6309001216 Graph by: mcdaash Tagged: angry birds , bathroom , break time , Pie Chart , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wait, Are Canadian's Invading Us?!

Thursday 26 October 7:18:11 UTC 2017

Canada map usa - 7926326784 How is 30% of the US Farther Norht than Windsor, Ontario, Canada? Submitted by: (via whatsdifferentincanada) Tagged: Canada , map , usa Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hormones? You?

Thursday 26 October 7:18:09 UTC 2017

crying emotions Pie Chart women - 5156310016 Graph by: djlynx Tagged: crying , emotions , Pie Chart , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Mom, Can I PLEASE Go to the Gym Instead?

Thursday 26 October 7:18:07 UTC 2017

Just Dance mile Pie Chart running sweating wii - 4344582400 Graph by: MLIA.FTW Tagged: Just Dance , mile , Pie Chart , running , sweating , wii Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Avenge ALL the Things!

Thursday 26 October 7:18:06 UTC 2017

Line Graph Movie The Avengers - 6250655232 Graph by: (via TDYLF) Tagged: Line Graph , Movie , The Avengers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Should Keep a Magazine in There

Thursday 26 October 7:18:04 UTC 2017

bathroom graphs shampoo bottle funny Pie Chart - 7491096064 Graph by: lobsterassassin Tagged: bathroom , graphs , shampoo bottle , funny , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Expect More From You Guys

Thursday 26 October 7:18:03 UTC 2017

love triangle gale peeta books hunger games twilight Pie Chart - 5293116416 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: love triangle , gale , peeta , books , hunger games , twilight , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Do You Mean 'No Pay Raise' This Year?

Thursday 26 October 7:17:59 UTC 2017

interest job review performance Pie Chart salary - 5072224768 Graph by: markdotnet Tagged: interest , job review , performance , Pie Chart , salary Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not Now, There's Fun to Be Had!

Thursday 26 October 7:17:55 UTC 2017

school weekends illness breaks Pie Chart - 6907921664 Graph by: sanichegehog Tagged: school , weekends , illness , breaks , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Obesity Rates in the US

Thursday 26 October 7:17:53 UTC 2017

fatties us obesity - 7321718016 Graph by: (via Netorama) Tagged: fatties , us , obesity Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Catholics and Lutherans celebrate divorce [Ironic]

Thursday 26 October 6:54:26 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Some Enchanted Evening

Thursday 26 October 6:32:44 UTC 2017

In Southeast Asia, fireflies synchronize their flashing. Observing them in Siam in the 1920s, naturalist Hugh Smith wrote, “Imagine a tenth of a mile of river front with an unbroken line of [mangrove] trees with fireflies on every leaf flashing in synchronism. … Then, if one’s imagination is sufficiently vivid, he may form some conception of this amazing spectacle.” The … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kentucky taxpayers, you're on the hook 'cuz of your biatch named Karma [Murica]

Thursday 26 October 5:22:49 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 651: "Nightmare Fuel". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 26 October 4:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We can do this the easy way or the hard way." Gas station clerk chooses hard way, with picture goodness of the effect on the robber. Hero tag is for clerk [Hero]

Thursday 26 October 3:16:34 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nasty woman complains that Whitefish stinks [News]

Thursday 26 October 3:04:00 UTC 2017

News [link] [187 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge serves three day notice to "vacate the premises" to overdue baby. Baby listens and demands her security deposit back [Amusing]

Thursday 26 October 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Medium well done [Sick]

Thursday 26 October 2:07:21 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mother charged for having daughter undergo female genital mutilation asks judge to remove GPS monitor from ankle because it's "physically uncomfortable and causes irritation to the skin" [Unlikely]

Thursday 26 October 1:42:34 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [179 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Parent angered by weed delivery service flyer left at her home. Well, maybe little Suzie and Jimmy won't need to get high if you stop letting the Kardashians and $#* My Dad Says raise them 24/7 oh and btw HOLY CRAP WEED HOME DELIVERY [Spiffy]

Thursday 26 October 1:29:01 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you feel your Soul is headed in the wrong direction, surrender it to the maker [Misc]

Thursday 26 October 1:14:21 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Administrators in one southern California school district have been receiving extra payments from a secret "profit sharing" fund for decades, and no one seems to know why. Not even the people receiving them [Interesting]

Thursday 26 October 0:50:46 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When Kimmie says literally, he MEANS literally, and has the nukes to back it up. Or so he says, as sabres continue to rattle [News]

Thursday 26 October 0:21:21 UTC 2017

News [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Russian wedding [Photoshop]

Thursday 26 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

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