John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Proud dad overjoyed to find his son's fake ID confiscated in liquor store [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 October 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Armed man tries to rob store wearing scuba mask. He must have been the designated diver [Florida]

Tuesday 24 October 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Are you having trouble paying your Vegas gambling debts? Are you or a loved one dead? There may be a solution [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 October 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh, sure Earl. Everyone knows about them, we just didn't tell you [Creepy]

Tuesday 24 October 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When America sends food to Puerto Rico, they're not sending their best. They're sending Skittles. They're sending Cheez-Its. They're sending pudding cups. And some, I assume, is good food [Murica]

Tuesday 24 October 21:20:06 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida couples argue less than average as compared to couples nationwide, which is completely understandable because, once that knife goes into the chest, argument's over [Florida]

Tuesday 24 October 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Knick-knack shop hit by truck full of irony [Ironic]

Tuesday 24 October 20:40:01 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » DARPA created a headband that makes you smarter. The first thing you do when you turn it on is you stop reading The Daily Mail [Spiffy]

Tuesday 24 October 20:30:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this fire and rescue [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Flavor Flav was right [Scary]

Tuesday 24 October 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » North Korea could defeat America in three days [Unlikely]

Tuesday 24 October 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [254 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Men may not know very much about how to use tampons. Period [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 October 19:12:17 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protestor throws small Russian flags at Trump as he walks inside U.S. Capitol. Trump immediately comes to attention, places hand over heart [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 October 19:05:59 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh ve thought they vere poachin' da deer up der ya and don't cha know they thought they were from that movie catchin' ghosts or something. Nice folks ya know just some odd [Weird]

Tuesday 24 October 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » More Word Sums

Tuesday 24 October 18:37:13 UTC 2017

Back in 2012 I mentioned that if A=1, B=2, C=3, etc., then ARM + BEND = ELBOW and KING + CHAIR = THRONE. Peter Dawyndt of Ghent University challenged his students to come up with more, and they found these: WHITE (65) + HOUSE (68) = GOVERNMENT (133)
PETER (64) + PAN (31) = NEVERLAND (95)
COMIC (43) + BOOK … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Belgium had a crazy gang of robbers that robbed and killed their way through the early '80s and then suddenly ceased operations. A man claiming to be that gang's leader recently confessed on his deathbed [News]

Tuesday 24 October 18:20:05 UTC 2017

News [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It seems like when a school has cougar problems, it's usually one of the faculty, not an actual cougar [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 October 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In related news, Bill O'Reilly announces that he named his penis "God" [Creepy]

Tuesday 24 October 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [148 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New simulations show how a 9.0 magnitude earthquake could affect Seattle. No word if said simulations just involved taking a dozen eggs and throwing them at the floor [Scary]

Tuesday 24 October 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman dies when molten caramel enters huge tank she is cleaning at confectionery factory. Friends and coworkers remember her for her sweet disposition, soft heart, and chewy center [Sad]

Tuesday 24 October 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In yet another blow to the retirement planning efforts of lower and middle class Americans, the cost of a Mega Millions lottery ticket is about to double [Murica]

Tuesday 24 October 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Assembly day in the school gym. First up: That troupe that uses trampolines to do acrobatic slam dunks. Then Mr Putin will talk to us about the horrors of genetically-modified superhuman armies of our dystopic future [Strange]

Tuesday 24 October 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Urban Explorer/newspaper publisher on Chicago roof "died doing what he loved", if your love is re-creating Frank Nitti's last scene in "The Untouchables" [Sad]

Tuesday 24 October 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Having a dilapidated, crumbling, eyesore building in an otherwise upscale neighborhood is a common urban problem, but only in Washington, DC do you have the potential of sparking an international incident if you try to force the owners to clean it up

Tuesday 24 October 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drone delays helicopter rescue of hiker who broke his leg. Next time he'll spring for Prime shipping [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 October 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this engine [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is Australia really that dangerous or is the country just full of idiots? [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 October 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [55 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » How to pepper a ceiling

Tuesday 24 October 12:47:01 UTC 2017

The ingenuity of teenagers knows no bounds.

The Salem News – Sep 17, 1953

PRANKSTERS PEPPER CEILING — Teenagers have forgotten the goldfish-swallowing fad which swept the U.S. a few years back, but they've started another one which is giving restaurant owners a headache. The new fad requires some drinking straws, chocolate syrup and a bit of wind power. Tom Taylor, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It can really sting if you're born a Scorpio. Or date a Scorpio. Or live next door to a Scorpio. Or work for a Scorpio. In fact, it's probably best if you just avoid Scorpios altogether [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 October 12:36:24 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [182 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » R.I.P. Matilda, the famous NYC Algonquin Hotel cat. Such a lobby diva you were [Sad]

Tuesday 24 October 12:10:02 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you run a magazine and decide to host a women's empowerment panel, maybe you should put some women on the panel [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 October 11:54:24 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stephen Hawking farked up the internet [Followup]

Tuesday 24 October 10:00:30 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [53 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Paperbacks from Hell

Tuesday 24 October 9:55:00 UTC 2017

For Halloween or Xmas, what could be a better gift? A brilliant art and history book about the crazy-ass horror novel covers of yore?

Read a review here.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The president just made his own additions to the constitution [Awkward]

Tuesday 24 October 9:48:24 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » All those recently caught in a cave-in raise your hand [Sad]

Tuesday 24 October 8:55:01 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [47 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Loud Noises!

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:52 UTC 2017

Bar Graph Cats fireworks loud noises new years - 5645388032 Graph by: Nye Tagged: Bar Graph , Cats , fireworks , loud noises , new years Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:51 UTC 2017

animals dogs elephants sunglasses - 1772460800 LoL by: Jessi_Leigh Tagged: animals , dogs , elephants , sunglasses Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Inception is Tricky

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:50 UTC 2017

wtf Inception movies - 4513090048 Graph by: MattheJ1 Tagged: wtf , Inception , movies Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Pinpointing Pain Levels at the Gym

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:47 UTC 2017

gym painting - 7819798272 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: gym , painting Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This IS the Man You Are Looking For

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:46 UTC 2017

star wars talking Pie Chart dating - 6964662784 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: star wars , talking , Pie Chart , dating Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Is My Grandson, Scrotie McBoogerballs

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:45 UTC 2017

obscene Pie Chart Pokémon professor oak scrotie mcboogerballs - 5476542208 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: obscene , Pie Chart , Pokémon , professor oak , scrotie mcboogerballs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why People are on Crutches

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:44 UTC 2017

athletic crutches play - 1809496320 LoL by: Trixie1184 Tagged: athletic , crutches , play Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Prove It!

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:43 UTC 2017

boyfriend fine gum masturbation Pie Chart proof - 4399216384 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: boyfriend , fine , gum , masturbation , Pie Chart , proof Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Putting the Forever In Forever Alone

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:42 UTC 2017

like never Pie Chart single taken - 5253120512 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: like , never , Pie Chart , single , taken Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Meta-Venn

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:40 UTC 2017

Inception meta venn diagram explanation - 7671519232 Graph by: TheGame364 Tagged: Inception , meta , venn diagram , explanation Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why Do You Only Ask When I'm Planning a Secret Teen Mom Marathon?

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:39 UTC 2017

loser Pie Chart plans weekend - 4774141440 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: loser , Pie Chart , plans , weekend Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Universal Management Flow Chart

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:38 UTC 2017

boss flow chart management work - 6016833536 Graph by: Benjamin F Jones (via graphitebunny) Tagged: boss , flow chart , management , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: I Was Using Flowcharts Before They Were Cool

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:36 UTC 2017

hipsters before they were cool flowcharts classic vintage - 6767844352 Graph by: (via Graphic Contents) Tagged: hipsters , before they were cool , flowcharts , classic , vintage Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Bear Grylls Hopes It's Filled With Piss

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:35 UTC 2017

glass optimist pessimist - 4796467712 Graph by: kasdbp100 Tagged: glass , optimist , pessimist Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The List of All Lists

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:34 UTC 2017

important list reasons - 7769700608 Submitted by: (via A Zillion Dollars Comics) Tagged: important , list , reasons Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Zombie's Life

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:31 UTC 2017

brains clock dead eat infographic sleep zombie - 4153456128 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: brains , clock , dead , eat , infographic , sleep , zombie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Happy Fourth of July!

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:29 UTC 2017

pie charts fireworks graphs funny fourth of july - 7617520384 Graph by: t_strike Tagged: pie charts , fireworks , graphs , funny , fourth of july Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And There Goes the Screen

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:28 UTC 2017

breaking drop Pie Chart smart phone - 5997712384 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: breaking , drop , Pie Chart , smart phone Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Black Pie Slice is a Lie

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:22 UTC 2017

Pokémon Theme Song Pie Chart Music g rated - 7732676352 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: Pokémon , Theme Song , Pie Chart , Music , g rated Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Didn't Care About Passing That Class, Did You?

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:20 UTC 2017

school term papers ink college printer - 6789346816 Graph by: _Justin_ Tagged: school , term papers , ink , college , printer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Use the Force

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:19 UTC 2017

Luke star wars how people react Pie Chart - 7140519680 Graph by: User#4175718 Tagged: Luke , star wars , how people react , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Occupation Vs. Wake Up Time

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:18 UTC 2017

afternoon artist doctor evening hobo lawyer morning occupation secretary time wake up - 2175305984 LoL by: sarahrockel Tagged: afternoon , artist , doctor , evening , hobo , lawyer , morning , occupation , secretary , time , wake up Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Actual Drugs Don't Count

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:15 UTC 2017

health hipocrite organic smoking venn diagram - 5748788480 Graph by: jimmyg100 Tagged: health , hipocrite , organic , smoking , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Deliciousness of a Resturant Meal

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:12 UTC 2017

food lazy leftovers meals midnight snack snacks tasty yummy - 3653689856 Deliciousness of a Resturant Meal Graph by: dumpw33d Tagged: food , lazy , leftovers , meals , midnight snack , snacks , tasty , yummy Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hottie Watson

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:10 UTC 2017

emma watson gryffindor Harry Potter houses news Pie Chart - 4968769792 Graph by: H3nQ Tagged: emma watson , gryffindor , Harry Potter , houses , news , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Y U No Skip Ahead!?

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:08 UTC 2017

wait youtube videos buffering ads loading - 6831393792 Graph by: redrover9 Tagged: wait , youtube , videos , buffering , ads , loading Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » There's No Place Like Home

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:07 UTC 2017

lies love of course not Pie Chart sigh wizard of oz - 4426760960 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: lies , love , of course not , Pie Chart , sigh , wizard of oz Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Items in Wal Mart

Tuesday 24 October 8:38:04 UTC 2017

items made in china made in the usa Pie Chart products Walmart - 2534901760 Graph by: donneyboy Tagged: items , made in china , made in the usa , Pie Chart , products , Walmart Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Firefox is deporting 80% of its mextensions next month [Asinine]

Tuesday 24 October 8:23:01 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nicaragua just signed the Paris Climate Accords, meaning only two countries remain that refuse to sign. One is a violent, divided country where guns are easily accessible and the dictator in charge thrives on hate and discord. The other is Syria [Fol

Tuesday 24 October 7:15:08 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [170 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Swearing In

Tuesday 24 October 6:47:31 UTC 2017

Houston attorney Robert Malinak sent this courtroom transcript to the Texas Bar Journal in 1999. He said it had been sent to him by “a credible New York lawyer”: CLERK: Please repeat after me: “I swear by Almighty God.” WITNESS: “I swear by Almighty God.” CLERK: “That the evidence I give …” WITNESS: That’s right. CLERK: Repeat it. WITNESS: “Repeat … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I'll have a skull and a few eyeballs with a side of severed fingers". Mmmmm [Creepy]

Tuesday 24 October 6:31:07 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nothing good can happen by slapping the ass of a police horse on active duty [Florida]

Tuesday 24 October 6:30:14 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bear has surgery to remove massive 3kg tongue, worries he'll no longer be as popular with the lady bears [Weird]

Tuesday 24 October 5:51:36 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news ladies: You can put away the tweezers, big eyebrows are back. Emma Watson ecstatic [Misc]

Tuesday 24 October 4:05:26 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scalpel? Scalpel. Suture? Suture. Flashlight? Flashlight. Batteries? [Sad]

Tuesday 24 October 3:25:16 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It was 50 years ago that Andy Warhol punked the entire state of Oregon [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 October 2:38:33 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UAE finally warming up to men touching each other in bars [Followup]

Tuesday 24 October 2:18:33 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Corgi-Con takes over California beach [Spiffy]

Tuesday 24 October 1:58:33 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man steals ambulance crashes a few blocks away before rushing into CVS and storming the counter for 'pills'. Witnesses unsure if cops or suspect then said 'tada' [Fail]

Tuesday 24 October 1:38:33 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "When some people mistake Malala for Mia Khalifa" [Ironic]

Tuesday 24 October 1:18:33 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tip: Do not offer to use your semen rag to wipe the vaseline off your driver's license when stopped for speeding wearing nothing but a bikini thong [Strange]

Tuesday 24 October 1:18:23 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » GF sets fire to ex's home because if she can't have the teddy bear, then nobody can [Florida]

Tuesday 24 October 0:58:33 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bahamas resort for obese tourists welcomes guests with meter-wide chairs, reinforced beds, and zero judgment at the pool. It's being hailed as tons of fun [Cool]

Tuesday 24 October 0:40:45 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drug sniffing dog finds two pounds of meth inside Pound Puppy. Meanwhile, Teddy Ruxpin's drug empire remains out of reach [Strange]

Tuesday 24 October 0:38:33 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » President Emmanuel Macron's dog Nemo recently caught taking a leak on the fireplace in the presidential office while the president was busy in a meeting with junior ministers [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 October 0:18:33 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these Australians [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

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