John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » This just in from the Ric Romero Institute: How well you recover from Hurricane Harvey may depend on how much money you have [Obvious]

Monday 23 October 23:58:33 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No "live" show tonight on Paul's Memory Bank. Putting the server on auto-pilot mixing up music & comedy (8PM EDT). Next week, the Annual Halloween Show featuring "The War of the Worlds". Got time for a few requests [Audio]

Monday 23 October 23:47:03 UTC 2017

Audio [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's been a lot less dead hookers since Craigslist started offering erotic services [Interesting]

Monday 23 October 23:38:33 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know that old lady in front of you on the NYC subway who cannot figure out how to swipe her metro card? Just wait until she has to pay using her phone [Cool]

Monday 23 October 23:36:02 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Belgian sex education website recommended for 7-year-old kids demonstrates advanced sex techniques even subby hasn't heard of. Stupid Flanders (NSFW) [Awkward]

Monday 23 October 23:18:33 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Paul admits he would have not gone through with it had he not been drunk" [Dumbass]

Monday 23 October 22:58:33 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bionic woman takes 24 hours to complete a 10-mile run. She's never going to get back into OSI at that rate [Spiffy]

Monday 23 October 22:38:33 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Naming your kid Jihad is the new Hitler [Asinine]

Monday 23 October 22:20:06 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Underwear bomber complains about the fruits of his loom(ing) long term incarceration. A thousand tiny violins begin warming up [Followup]

Monday 23 October 22:08:32 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Federal Courts: Whales are fish [Stupid]

Monday 23 October 21:39:47 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Live Briefing on Niger Ambush -history in the making [News]

Monday 23 October 21:23:50 UTC 2017

News [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » At 12 years old, Louie the dog is getting a bit old and slow, so when he disappeared one day, his owners were a bit freaked out. What they didn't know was that he was out being a hero. GOOD BOY [Sappy]

Monday 23 October 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The President of the Czech Republic has affronted reporters by brandishing a replica AK-47 with the words "for journalists" inscribed on it during a press conference. To his credit, the gun shoots alcohol [Strange]

Monday 23 October 20:04:45 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this German bus [Photoshop]

Monday 23 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember, the police standoff isn't over until the Florida Man sings [Florida]

Monday 23 October 19:40:45 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good Morning, fellow Palestinians. Good Morning, automated Facebook translation service. Good Morning, Israeli police [Fail]

Monday 23 October 19:16:45 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 16 Afghan soldiers training in Alabama have gone AWOL, "may pose a security risk" due to age, military training, higher thread count [Scary]

Monday 23 October 18:50:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Please Help!

Monday 23 October 18:41:28 UTC 2017

Futility Closet is a full-time endeavor for me, and the website is supported entirely by its readers. If you value this site, please consider making a contribution to help keep it going. You can make a one-time donation on our Support Us page, or you can pledge a monthly contribution to get bonus posts and other rewards. Thanks for your … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Priests have been trying to get into tiny holes while avoiding detection since the 1500s [Interesting]

Monday 23 October 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When asked why officers fired 137 rounds at the two unarmed men, a police source replied, "They didn't have 138" [Obvious]

Monday 23 October 17:46:46 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [171 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman sweats blood. Doctors baffled but say it's nothing to feel stigmatacized about [Weird]

Monday 23 October 17:20:06 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Queen Elizabeth owns a lot of property, including Regent Street, racecourses, posh hotels, a McDonald's in Oxford, several castles…wait, what? [Interesting]

Monday 23 October 16:48:03 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Fark rules! [FarkBlog]

Monday 23 October 16:30:08 UTC 2017

FarkBlog [link] [269 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Salvation Army welcomes all donations…well most donations….maybe not occupied urns [Unlikely]

Monday 23 October 16:13:30 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-10-15 to Sat 2017-10-21 [FarkBlog]

Monday 23 October 15:46:50 UTC 2017

FarkBlog [link] [0 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Depeche Mode concert goers find their car tires slashed after concert, are forced to try walking in their own shoes [Strange]

Monday 23 October 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Things you might find on a weekend jog in Pennsylvania – couples in the park, people walking their dogs and of course, armor-piercing tank rounds [Strange]

Monday 23 October 15:00:01 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Tis the season for asshats throwing pumpkins from overpasses at the cars below [Asinine]

Monday 23 October 14:30:01 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gym fanatic blames protein shakes and testosterone for making him feel 'confused and disorientated' after he walked naked into female changing rooms and touched woman's butt (NSFW images in sidebar) [Dumbass]

Monday 23 October 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The FDA is about to decide whether it should loosen the definition of "dietary fiber" to allow food companies to keep calling things like Froot Loops and breakfast bars "healthy" [Murica]

Monday 23 October 13:30:01 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this awesome glass [Photoshop]

Monday 23 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Miss Food Freezer

Monday 23 October 12:33:09 UTC 2017

Continuing our exploration of strange beauty contests, here's the Miss Food Freezer contest of 1951.

Arizona Republic – Mar 6, 1951

The favorite to win seemed to be Marianne Davis, who had already won the title of Miss General Electric. I could be wrong, but in the publicity photo below I think they've got her wrapped in freezer wrap while she … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alaskan photographer wakes up to a mama Lynx and her seven kits hanging out on his back porch. With pics of adorable big-footed fuzzy killers [Cool]

Monday 23 October 12:20:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rhino spots poacher tracking and preparing to kill it, so it decides to attack first, injuring the would-be murderer. Hero tag is for the rhino [Hero]

Monday 23 October 11:58:43 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Too late to SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING [Followup]

Monday 23 October 11:30:45 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let's see what is in the mail today: Bill, bill, bill, catalog, bill, catalog, catalog, child porn, bill, bill [Strange]

Monday 23 October 10:53:45 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Mystery Illustration 60

Monday 23 October 10:09:00 UTC 2017

Can the appearance of all these white males from 1957 lead us to guess what their common bond was? Judges? Cops? Farmers? Fuller Brush salesmen?

The original has gone dark behind the CHICAGO TRIBUNE ARCHIVES paywall. But luckily I saved the answer–after the jump. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fifty years ago, a bunch of acid-dropping anti-war activists tried to "levitate" the Pentagon to end the Vietnam War. As you know, it didn't work because of those damn unicorns [Interesting]

Monday 23 October 10:06:36 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maybe it's time to give up your road rage shenanigans when you run over yourself with road rage [Dumbass]

Monday 23 October 9:32:45 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's hard to beat the old "put the fox in charge of the hen house" argument [Facepalm]

Monday 23 October 8:24:42 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [27 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » I Have to See How Much Worse This Version Is!

Monday 23 October 7:45:26 UTC 2017

complaints fans star wars venn diagram - 5280323584 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: complaints , fans , star wars , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Bet You Think You're So Much Better Than Me

Monday 23 October 7:45:25 UTC 2017

best of week eating food Pie Chart respect vegan vegetarian - 6331259392 Graph by: buckles_b (via Bite) Tagged: best of week , eating , food , Pie Chart , respect , vegan , vegetarian Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Hope There's an Eevee Inside

Monday 23 October 7:45:21 UTC 2017

childhood Pie Chart pokeball Pokémon - 5315126272 Graph by: doctorwhofan63 Tagged: childhood , Pie Chart , pokeball , Pokémon Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What My Microwave Heats

Monday 23 October 7:45:17 UTC 2017

burn cold container food Heat ice microwave - 2142089472 Graph by: moonjunio Tagged: burn , cold , container , food , Heat , ice , microwave Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why We Can't Have Nice Things?

Monday 23 October 7:45:16 UTC 2017

best of week nice things patrick Pie Chart sparta Sponge Bob Squarepants this-is-why-we-cant-have - 5416377600 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , nice things , patrick , Pie Chart , sparta , Sponge Bob Squarepants , this-is-why-we-cant-have Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Every Other Animal It Sees, That Is

Monday 23 October 7:45:13 UTC 2017

pee outside dogs Pie Chart - 6950548992 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pee , outside , dogs , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Fantastical Fictive Beers

Monday 23 October 7:45:12 UTC 2017

beer alcohol Chart poster television - 7866709504 Click here to enlarge the poster and see all of it's details, or click here to buy it form Pop Chart Lab. Submitted by: (via pop chart lab) Tagged: beer , alcohol , Chart , poster , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That Feel

Monday 23 October 7:45:09 UTC 2017

terrified feel excitement Pie Chart Father - 6932746752 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: terrified , feel , excitement , Pie Chart , Father Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Harry Potter vs Twillight

Monday 23 October 7:45:08 UTC 2017

Harry Potter twilight infographic - 7130128896 just some facts that show which one is the better story… Graph by: Qwertzuy (via Arguscarhire) Tagged: Harry Potter , twilight , infographic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Save Time; Start With a Salad

Monday 23 October 7:45:05 UTC 2017

hard shell noms Pie Chart taco taco salad - 5114133248 Graph by: Baconyin Tagged: hard shell , noms , Pie Chart , taco , taco salad Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Look So Handsome and Cunning With That 'Stache

Monday 23 October 7:45:03 UTC 2017

Memes moustaches mustaches sir win - 4827344384 See the original at mosmakeadifference Graph by: Jandosk8 Tagged: Memes , moustaches , mustaches , sir , win Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Probability of Food Spill in Terms of Shirt Price

Monday 23 October 7:45:02 UTC 2017

clothing food prices - 1707926272 LoL by: crazyninjanick Tagged: clothing , food , prices Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Cats Find Interesting

Monday 23 October 7:44:59 UTC 2017

Cats interesting packaging Pie Chart toys - 2575182080 Graph by: KieferSkunk Tagged: Cats , interesting , packaging , Pie Chart , toys Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Final Exams

Monday 23 October 7:44:58 UTC 2017

course exams learning school study tests - 2077637376 Graph by: jonbca Tagged: course , exams , learning , school , study , tests Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Far East Spreadsheet

Monday 23 October 7:44:57 UTC 2017

far east movement like a g6 lyrics Music so fly spreadsheet - 4306916352 Graph by: David Tagged: far east movement , like a g6 , lyrics , Music , so fly , spreadsheet Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Five Minerals With Unusual Names

Monday 23 October 7:44:55 UTC 2017

infographic minerals names - 7953158912 Graph by: neomam Tagged: infographic , minerals , names Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Every Single Time

Monday 23 October 7:44:54 UTC 2017

job work customers Pie Chart - 6903278080 Graph by: Lizadeth Tagged: job , work , customers , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Working the Same Time Everyday: The Last Minute

Monday 23 October 7:44:53 UTC 2017

deadline Line Graph procrastination productivity work ethic - 5363057408 Graph by: thijsrog Tagged: deadline , Line Graph , procrastination , productivity , work ethic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Now You Wish You Were Falling Off That Cliff In Real Life

Monday 23 October 7:44:52 UTC 2017

dreams human graphs - 7984484608 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: dreams , human , graphs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Brave Are You Feeling?

Monday 23 October 7:44:51 UTC 2017

internets lemon party Pie Chart rick roll tiny url trolling - 6284196352 Graph by: MusicalL0ver Tagged: internets , lemon party , Pie Chart , rick roll , tiny url , trolling Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Widow Tweed, What Are You Doing?!

Monday 23 October 7:44:50 UTC 2017

Bar Graph Sad tod why - 4748164096 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , Sad , tod , why Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The More You Know: Bourbon Vs Whisky

Monday 23 October 7:44:48 UTC 2017

bourbon whisky infographic funny after 12 g rated - 7865129728 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: bourbon , whisky , infographic , funny , after 12 , g rated Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Predictable / Little Government Regulation / Damaging Our Children's Future

Monday 23 October 7:44:47 UTC 2017

bp childrens damaging debt economic future ga ga global government lady little oil our predictable regulation spill warming - 3637864704 Predictable / Little Government Regulation / Damaging Our Children's Future Graph by: Tagged: bp , childrens , damaging , debt , economic , future , ga ga , global , government , lady , little , oil , our , predictable , regulation , spill , warming Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Always Have the Best Intentions And Then…

Monday 23 October 7:44:46 UTC 2017

homework free time Pie Chart - 6898530048 Graph by: mbrewer Tagged: homework , free time , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Let's Take a Second and Map How Americans Talk

Monday 23 October 7:44:45 UTC 2017

How do you speak? Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: americans , talking , dialects Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Could Do This For Hours

Monday 23 October 7:44:44 UTC 2017

school doghouse diaries language - 7802308096 Hours. Hours? Ho-urs? Hou-rs? How-ares? Submitted by: (via Doghouse Diaries) Tagged: school , doghouse diaries , language Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Many Do You Have?

Monday 23 October 7:44:42 UTC 2017

facebook infographic photos profile profile pics - 4839704832 Graph by: (via www.socialmediaexplorer.com) Tagged: facebook , infographic , photos , profile , profile pics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Visible Tom Waits

Monday 23 October 7:44:41 UTC 2017

sand paper Music here be dragons Tom Waits gravely voice - 6841950720 Source: Jim Locky Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: sand paper , Music , here be dragons , Tom Waits , gravely voice Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My, How You've Grown!

Monday 23 October 7:44:39 UTC 2017

donkey kong link mario video games - 5256317952 Graph by: maxystone Tagged: donkey kong , link , mario , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » She Can See Sound?

Monday 23 October 7:44:38 UTC 2017

accents girls irish looks personality Pie Chart sight sound - 4560378112 Graph by: xkdbyf Tagged: accents , girls , irish , looks , personality , Pie Chart , sight , sound Share on Facebook [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 174: Cracking the Nazi Code

Monday 23 October 7:00:16 UTC 2017

In 1940, Germany was sending vital telegrams through neutral Sweden using a sophisticated cipher, and it fell to mathematician Arne Beurling to make sense of the secret messages. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll describe the outcome, which has been called “one of the greatest accomplishments in the history of cryptography.” We’ll also learn about mudlarking … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's kind of adorable when a town in Alabama with a population of less than 15,000 thinks it actually has a chance to land the new Amazon headquarters [Unlikely]

Monday 23 October 6:23:45 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thank you, officers, for keeping this kind of crime off our streets [Asinine]

Monday 23 October 5:25:57 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » La David Johnson's widow wrote letter denouncing Rep. Frederica Wilson using her husband for political purposes. Either that, or the right-wing fake news folks wrote it. Difficulty: timestamp on letter [Fail]

Monday 23 October 3:10:35 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [162 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wild hog messes with Texas dude and is shot dead. Of course, hoggy has been tearing up Texas dude's property for the last five years so it took him awhile [Murica]

Monday 23 October 2:18:35 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In China cranes are a traditional symbol of immortality, longevity, vigilance, prosperity, and happiness. Side effects of unscheduled visits may include sudden unexpected urge to purchase a new car, underwear (brain-jarring video) [Scary]

Monday 23 October 1:55:36 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I do say, m'lady, that this divorce card of yours is quite stunning. Prithee, may I see your back painting and then perhaps inquire as to your interest in a rousing game of Puff Billiards or Battle Ball? Splendid [Interesting]

Monday 23 October 1:29:16 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An abused, mistreated dog that was adopted by a family is terrified of everyone and everything: except a newborn baby that it frequently cuddles with and oh dear god the pictures are so damned cute [Sappy]

Monday 23 October 1:27:36 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [1 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pesticide religion has doomsday prediction. In other news, there's a pesticide religion [Strange]

Monday 23 October 1:06:28 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » U.S. preparing to put nuclear bombers back on 24-hour alert. Sleep tight [Scary]

Monday 23 October 0:27:36 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [206 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this odd sculpture [Photoshop]

Monday 23 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

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