John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Kangaroo boxing match captured on infrared video. It's the X-Games for marsupials [Cool]

Wednesday 18 October 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Novelist Margaret Atwood receives Franz Kafka prize, or at least she will once the paperwork makes it through a nightmarish bureaucracy run by shadowy, malevolent forces [Interesting]

Wednesday 18 October 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » At a time when opioid deaths in the U.S. are on the rise, they're actually dropping in Colorado. Wonder why? [Obvious]

Wednesday 18 October 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy figures out clever way to let people know he had sex [Stupid]

Wednesday 18 October 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former hostage couple on having children while in Taliban captivity: "We always planned to have a big family and decided, hey let's make the best of this and at least go home with a larger start on our dream family. We're Irish, haha"

Wednesday 18 October 21:26:37 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The list of banned items for the white supremacy speech, rally, and protest at University of Florida tomorrow. Underpants and service animals appear to be allowed [Followup]

Wednesday 18 October 21:20:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cranes spotted around the 'Hotel of Doom' putting up finishing touches. This is not a repeat from 1987, 1992, 2006, 2008 or 2013. Really, it's going to open this time [Followup]

Wednesday 18 October 20:50:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this polka-dotted lady [Photoshop]

Wednesday 18 October 20:30:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Insurance company sends letter to 9-month-old boy explaining he's too expensive to keep alive" [Facepalm]

Wednesday 18 October 20:20:07 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Smartphone use by drivers is killing more people than ever, but few people want to know just how many; come for the frightening statistics, stay for the link to the driver's ed film by Werner Herzog [Obvious]

Wednesday 18 October 19:20:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [191 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian women are ditching boob jobs and opting for bum enhancements to copy 'booty queen' look flaunted by the stars. Also known as the Iggy Effect. (NSFW) [Facepalm]

Wednesday 18 October 18:50:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's a new boy in Fiddler's Green [Sad]

Wednesday 18 October 18:03:02 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [201 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Domestic violence case against man dropped because of his "cultural incompetence" [Strange]

Wednesday 18 October 17:50:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Domestic Situations

Wednesday 18 October 17:21:31 UTC 2017

A couple of items concerning servants: In his Memoirs and Anecdotes, Philip Thicknesse notes that in 1742 the Duke of Somerset had his dinners announced in a sort of diminishing echo: … a servant entered, holding a silver staff in his right hand, something like a bishop’s crozier, and bare headed, announced the splendid repast three times thus; Forte, — … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photographer captures the o_O faces of women before, during and after [Giggity]

Wednesday 18 October 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [229 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OK, forget yesterday's Bigfoot article, as this one out of Arizona is much more cromulent. In fact, the photo isn't even blurry [Followup]

Wednesday 18 October 17:10:03 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » He's been to Conjunction Junction. All of his tenses are perfect. He once wrote a total ellipsis that turned the sky dark and terrified superstitious peasants. He is the most interesting writer on Fark, and this is your Fark Writer's Thread [

Wednesday 18 October 16:35:46 UTC 2017

CSB [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A 6-year-old Kansas boy who loves cops decided to hand out doughnuts and lemonade to his local officers. While the police appreciated his gesture they let him know it's not going to help with any speeding tickets in 10 years or so [Cool]

Wednesday 18 October 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The most popular Halloween candy sold in every state. Louisiana, I think we need to have a talk [Interesting]

Wednesday 18 October 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [200 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After memorable Ménage à Trois, researcher gets PhD in threesomes [Giggity]

Wednesday 18 October 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I can guarantee with my life that the train will be called Trainy McTrainface" [Cool]

Wednesday 18 October 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's mass shooting comes to you from Maryland [NewsFlash]

Wednesday 18 October 14:29:59 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [611 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man surrenders to police while bringing in a dozen donuts for them [Amusing]

Wednesday 18 October 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have you ever found a razor in your kid's Halloween candy? No you haven't [Interesting]

Wednesday 18 October 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple spotted on CCTV having sex in a Domino's spared jail after judge decides the pizza was punishment enough [Followup]

Wednesday 18 October 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [69 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Oyster Flatulence

Wednesday 18 October 13:15:22 UTC 2017

I didn't even realize that oysters produced flatulence, but I guess this is now something new to worry about.

A study published in the Scientific Reports journal shows that clams, mussels and oysters produce one-tenth of methane and nitrous oxide gases in the Baltic Sea as a result of digestion. Therefore, researchers have warned that shellfish “may play an important … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what's in her hand [Photoshop]

Wednesday 18 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you want a team, get a pack of wolves. If you want a family member, get a dog. Here's your Woofday Wednesday thread [Interesting]

Wednesday 18 October 13:00:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can you be too fat for prison? An attorney is trying to keep his 273 lb. client out of it with this argument [Unlikely]

Wednesday 18 October 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Aviation police that dragged guy off of United plane are forcibly removed from their jobs [Followup]

Wednesday 18 October 12:22:42 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So why DOES a museum keep burying whales under Raleigh NC? [Strange]

Wednesday 18 October 12:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're a gamergater who got doxxed by gamergaters, so you went after liberals for being pedophiles. Then you found your parents were liberals. So you took a stand about ethics in patricide [Strange]

Wednesday 18 October 11:31:41 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [266 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is Popeye's corporate being kept abreast of the situation? Who will finally blink in this game of chicken? Who will rule the roost and earn their wings? This story has legs [Fail]

Wednesday 18 October 11:02:52 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kentucky, see what happens when you handcuff 8- and 9-year-olds? ACLU lawyers kick your ass [Followup]

Wednesday 18 October 11:00:42 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hero EMT saves civilians when officer has a panic attack after firing seven rounds at an unarmed man. With bodycam "goodness" embedded (warning, autoplay.) [Hero]

Wednesday 18 October 10:40:42 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » People have been wondering if the missing security guard from the Las Vegas shootings was possibly involved in it? Or maybe he was kidnapped? Or maybe…. oh, never mind, he's just a sellout. Jesus Campos to appear on Ellen show [Followup]

Wednesday 18 October 10:32:52 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jealous of recent nearby southern California wildfires, oil refinery in El Segundo sets itself ablaze [Scary]

Wednesday 18 October 10:03:25 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [17 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The Fish

Wednesday 18 October 9:28:00 UTC 2017

An early forerunner of "Rock Lobster." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember the fires in Oregon and Washington? The good news: Atmospheric River to bring them rain. The bad news: A 5000 mile long atmospheric river that may bring up to 15" of rain [Unlikely]

Wednesday 18 October 9:15:41 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [36 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » I'm Afraid I Can't Print That, Dave

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:56 UTC 2017

best of week computers error Pie Chart printers scumbag - 6491299840 Graph by: (via Something of That Ilk) Tagged: best of week , computers , error , Pie Chart , printers , scumbag Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » As Little as Possible

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:55 UTC 2017

best of week internet explorer Pie Chart web browser - 5410971136 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , internet explorer , Pie Chart , web browser Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Comfort is King!

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:52 UTC 2017

toilet vacation - 7787785984 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: toilet , vacation Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hatred Is Bliss

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:51 UTC 2017

hate like love Pie Chart relationships - 4746772480 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: hate , like , love , Pie Chart , relationships Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 15 Ridiculous Law

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:49 UTC 2017

laws ridiculous weird - 6210188288 Graph by: (via Prism Casino) Tagged: laws , ridiculous , weird Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Show Some Creativity

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:48 UTC 2017

bar graphs colors evil graphs funny - 7523085312 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bar graphs , colors , evil , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Aside From the Suit Itself

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:47 UTC 2017

rdj tony stark iron man suit - 7427526400 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: rdj , tony stark , iron man , suit Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » GraphJam: Facial Hair Chart

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:43 UTC 2017

best of week facial hair hitler wizard - 5756426496 Graph by: deadmeat1492 (via Graph Jam) Tagged: best of week , facial hair , hitler , wizard Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not as Straight Forward as We All Thought

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:42 UTC 2017

raking the lawn fall burning arson - 6662739712 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: raking the lawn , fall , burning , arson Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Happy Holidays from GraphJam!

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:40 UTC 2017

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: graphjam , holiday Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Guess I'm Agnostic

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:39 UTC 2017

atheist god internet Pie Chart - 5301158144 Submitted by: vulkanovich Tagged: atheist , god , internet , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Forgot Skipping Songs

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:37 UTC 2017

headphones pandora Pie Chart school studying - 4620414464 Graph by: hoosierragamuffin Tagged: headphones , pandora , Pie Chart , school , studying Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Did You Hear Something?

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:36 UTC 2017

Bar Graph teens high school adults annoying - 6674780672 Graph by: buckles_b (via Bite) Tagged: Bar Graph , teens , high school , adults , annoying Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Damn, Only a Delay

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:34 UTC 2017

delay Pie Chart school school cancelled truancy story - 5729909504 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: delay , Pie Chart , school , school cancelled , truancy story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Alaska and Hawaii Were Fish

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:33 UTC 2017

continental us Maps shark usa - 4819070720 But they got eated. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: continental us , Maps , shark , usa Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Darth Venn

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:32 UTC 2017

darth vader star wars venn diagram venn diagrams - 6422671872 Graph by: (via I Love Doodle) Tagged: darth vader , star wars , venn diagram , venn diagrams Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's a Familiar Taste

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:28 UTC 2017

animation cannibalism cereal cinnamon commercials delicious milk Pie Chart - 4363615744 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eI7U~ Graph by: jsrfmaniac Tagged: animation , cannibalism , cereal , cinnamon , commercials , delicious , milk , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Better Than Nothing

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:27 UTC 2017

creative finish venn diagram - 6958273792 Graph by: (via Robpollak) Tagged: creative , finish , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Finger written comment on a dirty car…

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:25 UTC 2017

cars finger wash - 1868303616 LoL by: mattdoyal Tagged: cars , finger , wash Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And Every Other Occupation

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:24 UTC 2017

productivity bosses work - 7787781376 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: productivity , bosses , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It Uses Splash

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:23 UTC 2017

fishing magikarp Pie Chart Pokémon - 6572194304 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: fishing , magikarp , Pie Chart , Pokémon Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Source of Righteous Fury, or Overwhelming Tyranny

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:20 UTC 2017

best of week crime facial hair law mustache mustaches - 5415044096 Graph by: SirKilmoreRyan (via Bite) Tagged: best of week , crime , facial hair , law , mustache , mustaches Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When You Think You Will Get Attacked By A Shark

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:19 UTC 2017

attack Bar Graph die shark shark week water - 2499558656 Graph by: thatchergleason Tagged: attack , Bar Graph , die , shark , shark week , water Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Mexican Television

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:17 UTC 2017

Excited People Jumping Up and Down Gorgeous Women Mardi Gras Mexican TV mrs-america-pageant The Man Show Unintelligible Speech - 3667195648 Mexican Television El Señor de GIFs would probably loves this graph. Graph by: blackbird34608 Tagged: Excited People Jumping Up and Down , Gorgeous Women , Mardi Gras , Mexican TV , mrs-america-pageant , The Man Show , Unintelligible Speech Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Learn to Tune Him Out

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:14 UTC 2017

best of week friends introductions nice guy not Pie Chart used to - 5281857024 Graph by: gwmoss Tagged: best of week , friends , introductions , nice guy , not , Pie Chart , used to Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Fell Off Again? FFFFUUUUUUUU!!!!

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:13 UTC 2017

best of week Mario Kart Pie Chart swearing video games - 5573759744 Graph by: PhillyWillyNillyChilly Tagged: best of week , Mario Kart , Pie Chart , swearing , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Tis the Season

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:11 UTC 2017

time christmas lights holidays Pie Chart - 6871847424 Graph by: w0lft0r Tagged: time , christmas lights , holidays , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Hate My Brain

Wednesday 18 October 8:16:09 UTC 2017

awake brain Line Graph sleepy - 6263164928 Graph by: maxystone (via Thedoghousediaries) Tagged: awake , brain , Line Graph , sleepy Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thanks to hurricanes and wildfires, nobody's talking about the fact that last week there was an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico that may be the largest since BP's Deepwater Horizon in 2010 [Scary]

Wednesday 18 October 8:03:42 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wait, this is a crime? Sooo, this isn't just a Fark kink?? Well, there goes my plans for tonight [Silly]

Wednesday 18 October 7:17:01 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thief uses coin-operated vacuum cleaner to suck itself off [Misc]

Wednesday 18 October 7:02:55 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well that explains a whole lot about Alex Jones [Obvious]

Wednesday 18 October 6:41:51 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Coverup

Wednesday 18 October 6:38:50 UTC 2017

A problem from the British Columbia Colleges Senior High School Contest for 2000: If I place a 6 cm × 6 cm square on a triangle, I can cover up to 60% of the triangle. If I place the triangle on the square, I can cover up to 2/3 of the square. What is the area, in cm2, of the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're a 'pastor' who owns a grave marker factory, and claim a family didn't pay for 'extras' on their 5 year old's stone. Do you A) Forgive the debt, B) Go to small claims court, or C) Repossess the child's marker? [S

Wednesday 18 October 6:01:49 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kidnapped grandmother fends off knife-wielding attacker by reaching for something that responds much faster than the police [Cool]

Wednesday 18 October 5:45:56 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Free heroin with your Speedway Speedy Rewards card [Murica]

Wednesday 18 October 5:20:12 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump to widow of soldier killed in Niger attack: "He knew what he signed up for" [Asinine]

Wednesday 18 October 4:43:01 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [434 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Syrian surface to air missile battery tries to fire on Israeli airplane for the second time, Israeli air force ensures there will be no third try [Fail]

Wednesday 18 October 4:04:37 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Macaque prefers buddy's attention [Interesting]

Wednesday 18 October 3:55:56 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » High school cheerleaders in Utah proclaim their support for interracial sex. Oh, wait. Nope. Just racist-ass brats [Dumbass]

Wednesday 18 October 2:02:08 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's one way to keep people from calling the police? Arresting them as material witnesses [Scary]

Wednesday 18 October 1:10:00 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police called after a Chicago teen was repeatedly warned about sneaking onto the basketball court at fitness facility. Since this is on Fark, you can guess what happens next [Hero]

Wednesday 18 October 0:52:09 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Little girl perishes from massive crack overdose [Florida]

Wednesday 18 October 0:42:37 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another day, another teacher putting it where it doesn't belong [Sick]

Wednesday 18 October 0:33:09 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this pressure gauge somewhere useful [Photoshop]

Wednesday 18 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

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