John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » I'm not saying that archaeologists have spotted hundreds of mysterious, ancient stone structures put there by aliens in Saudi Arabia on Google Earth, but archaeologists have spotted hundreds of mysterious, ancient stone structures put there by al

Tuesday 17 October 23:02:36 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The sheriff's office said the victim ran as the clown chased him a short distance. Then the clown tripped and fell, and went back into the bushes. " [Florida]

Tuesday 17 October 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Subby never knew there was a "Whiskey Bible," but it has announced the best whiskey of the year [Cool]

Tuesday 17 October 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's why we really like repetition in music. Repetition in music, in music, music, music, mumumumumumusic (video) [Interesting]

Tuesday 17 October 20:50:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [157 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Would you rather have $100,000 or an old letter from the Titanic? Me too, but the article is about the letter [Cool]

Tuesday 17 October 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Kingfisher [Photoshop]

Tuesday 17 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Parents can too co-sleep with their kids and still have a sex life, say parents of kid who's going to be in therapy for decades [Weird]

Tuesday 17 October 19:50:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [138 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OK. This time we have absolute, irrefutable, complete proof of Bigfoot's existence. Maybe [Followup]

Tuesday 17 October 19:43:15 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cow on the loose in Prospect Park, Brooklyn. Citizens in utter panic [Amusing]

Tuesday 17 October 19:40:14 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Action!

Tuesday 17 October 19:08:29 UTC 2017

Don Martin’s cartoons in MAD magazine were famous for their sound effects: ARGLE GLARGLE GLORGLE GLUK: princess using mouthwash BUKKIDA BUKKIDA BAKKIDA BAKKIDA: boxer pummeling opponent’s head CHOOK CHOOK CHOOK CHOOK: man digging DOOT: doctor hitting patient’s knee with a hammer FAGWOOSH SHOSSH GOOGLOOOM FUSH: sounds heard in a seashell FLOOT THWIP THOP KLOP: a man folds up a beach … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Haunted' seaside Maine castle on the market for $3.35M. But don't worry: "If there is a spirit there, it's benevolent" [Scary]

Tuesday 17 October 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Somewhere, in the distance, Kevin Kline is seen murmuring to John Cleese, "You named your daughter after a car?" [Facepalm]

Tuesday 17 October 16:50:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Group of friends build Halloween yard display with a 20 ft, two-story, 1,000 lb, replica of a Star Wars AT-AT. Will be tripped up by snow speeders once the first snow falls [Cool]

Tuesday 17 October 16:20:06 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man tries using a propane torch to burn spiders from under his trailer. Since you are reading this here you would be correct in assuming something went wrong [Dumbass]

Tuesday 17 October 15:50:14 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drones are dropping drugs, cell phones and weapons into prison yards around the U.S. Hollywood now working on Shawshank reboot [Obvious]

Tuesday 17 October 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baltimore fatberg removal to cost $60,000, take up to a week NSFL (Not Safe For Lunch) [Sick]

Tuesday 17 October 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A movie theater that won a lawsuit over Utah's liquor laws and the movie "Deadpool" is asking for a lot of chimichangas in attorney's fees [Obvious]

Tuesday 17 October 14:20:06 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just like there are no gays in Iran, there is no sexual harassment in China [Unlikely]

Tuesday 17 October 13:50:05 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fire chief, wife arrested after husband crashes motorcycle, wife interferes with investigation, follows husband to hospital, forces her way into ER, pulls out husband's IV, tosses his drawn blood into waste can, husband hits cop arresting wife. T

Tuesday 17 October 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this curious cub [Photoshop]

Tuesday 17 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is pulling your laptop out of your carry-on bag your favorite part of going through airport security? It is? You're definitely going to want to fly through BWI, then [Stupid]

Tuesday 17 October 12:50:05 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [116 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Left wife, lived in forest for 10 years

Tuesday 17 October 12:34:57 UTC 2017

Malcolm Applegate claims that he got fed up with his wife's nagging. So he left and went into hiding in a thick woodland outside of London for ten years.

Applegate has since emerged from the woodland, reconnected with his wife, and he says, "We now have a great relationship again."

It reminds me of that story of the Iranian guy … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Che Guevara would probably not be too happy with what Cuba looks like today. And don't even get him started on how much one of his shirts costs [Obvious]

Tuesday 17 October 12:20:06 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lottery machine picks out the same numbers for six days in a row and nobody at the lottery company notices. What are the odds? [Facepalm]

Tuesday 17 October 12:04:51 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The government is responsible for the opioid crisis. This cannot be overstated [Obvious]

Tuesday 17 October 11:48:36 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [228 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Researchers are getting closer than ever to linking sugar to cancer. Sweet [Interesting]

Tuesday 17 October 11:43:52 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Made for Fark headline: "The secret to amazing chocolate chip cookies? Bang them" [Creepy]

Tuesday 17 October 11:24:52 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [44 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #330

Tuesday 17 October 10:26:00 UTC 2017

This wife has a problem bigger than an inconsiderate husband–he's a clinical alcoholic!

From THE ELKS MAGAZINE for November 1950. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gang bang ends in bang bang [Stupid]

Tuesday 17 October 10:04:52 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jesus has left the building [Unlikely]

Tuesday 17 October 9:52:51 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Election interference, Canadian style [Misc]

Tuesday 17 October 9:11:14 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Headline reminded me I still need to send Delta a thank you card [Asinine]

Tuesday 17 October 8:52:52 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [88 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » How my cigarette tastes

Tuesday 17 October 7:53:14 UTC 2017

cigarette quit smoking - 1551522560 LoL by: Unknown Tagged: cigarette , quit , smoking Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Moment of Silence for the Dearly Departed

Tuesday 17 October 7:53:13 UTC 2017

hammer pants quotes dead Music - 7770505728 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: hammer pants , quotes , dead , Music Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Preacher Problem

Tuesday 17 October 7:53:12 UTC 2017

religion preaching venn diagram convert - 6836159744 Graph by: B-Dasher Tagged: religion , preaching , venn diagram , convert Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Always a Good Idea

Tuesday 17 October 7:53:11 UTC 2017

drinking good idea flow chart - 7038782208 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: drinking , good idea , flow chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Collars of the DNC

Tuesday 17 October 7:53:06 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 6569745664 Check out more political fun at Pundit Kitchen. Graph by: (via Election) Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » PERRY Used Grappling Hook! It's Super Effective!

Tuesday 17 October 7:53:05 UTC 2017

perry the platypus phineas and ferb platypus Pokémon Psyduck - 5413148416 Graph by: i_has_lolz Tagged: perry the platypus , phineas and ferb , platypus , Pokémon , Psyduck Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: All the Best Things in Life

Tuesday 17 October 7:53:03 UTC 2017

embarrassment life - 7063941632 Graph by: (via Wendymacnaughton ) Tagged: embarrassment , life Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When My Mom Asks Me to Do Something

Tuesday 17 October 7:53:02 UTC 2017

chores graphs mom funny - 7440502272 Graph by: artistchick Tagged: chores , graphs , mom , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Na Na Na Na, Bat Plot

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:59 UTC 2017

batman does this work graph IRL math - 5029239552 Graph by: maxystone (via jokeradar.com) Tagged: batman , does this work , graph , IRL , math Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Tooth About Truthpaste

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:57 UTC 2017

best of week dyslexia toothpaste truth - 5712945920 Graph by: pariksit007 Tagged: best of week , dyslexia , toothpaste , truth Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Tell Jabba I've Got His Money

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:56 UTC 2017

jabba money movies Pie Chart star wars - 6297220864 Graph by: (via Wired) Tagged: jabba , money , movies , Pie Chart , star wars Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sick Day

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:55 UTC 2017

sick day illness Pie Chart - 6955129600 Source: xkcd Graph by: Unknown Tagged: sick day , illness , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What's the Web Address for Google Again?

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:54 UTC 2017

bing search engine google Pie Chart - 7080611584 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bing , search engine , google , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things I would do for a Klondike Bar

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:51 UTC 2017

amputate arm buy fire klondike bar light myself parachute Pie Chart sharks skydive store swim - 2913346816 Graph by: ArgentumKnight Tagged: amputate , arm , buy , fire , klondike bar , light , myself , parachute , Pie Chart , sharks , skydive , store , swim Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » His Paws in the Air Sometimes

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:50 UTC 2017

ayoo cat dynamite food meow pets Pie Chart taio cruz throw up vomit - 4575530752 Saying me-ow-o. Graph by: chumbawumba Tagged: ayoo , cat , dynamite , food , meow , pets , Pie Chart , taio cruz , throw up , vomit Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » One More Memory Block Couldn't Hurt

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:49 UTC 2017

assassins creed best of week grades homework Pie Chart school - 5368581376 Graph by: Jaimegirl96 Tagged: assassins creed , best of week , grades , homework , Pie Chart , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Mars Rovers Relative Wheel Size

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:48 UTC 2017

curiosity mars rover size wheels - 6513647360 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: curiosity , mars rover , size , wheels Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: Just Your Average Day, For a Former Dictator

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:46 UTC 2017

dictator Kim Jong-Il korean North Korea Pie Chart popstar - 5701451008 Submitted by: 666ilovecake666 Tagged: dictator , Kim Jong-Il , korean , North Korea , Pie Chart , popstar Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Much Congressmen and Senators Care

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:45 UTC 2017

Bar Graph congressmen family future important love money safety senators vote - 2525381376 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , congressmen , family , future , important , love , money , safety , senators , vote Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Please Wait Until the Plane Comes to a Complete Stop

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:43 UTC 2017

airplane exit flight - 5737865216 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: airplane , exit , flight Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » FYI, Jesus Returns in 2018…and in 2023?

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:42 UTC 2017

earth future infographic timeline xkcd - 4667651584 Graph by: (via xkcd) Tagged: earth , future , infographic , timeline , xkcd Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What I Remember From My Childhood

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:37 UTC 2017

childhood nostalgia Parenting Skills Pie Chart - 3825660928 Graph by: inkytabitha Tagged: childhood , nostalgia , Parenting Skills , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » "Oh Sure, Your Eyes are 'Watery' Because You 'Yawned'"

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:36 UTC 2017

crying eyes Pie Chart Sad tears yawning - 4626287616 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: crying , eyes , Pie Chart , Sad , tears , yawning Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things you do when you get a Mac

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:35 UTC 2017

computers mac new photobooth Pie Chart safari - 3324043264 Graph by: Tagged: computers , mac , new , photobooth , Pie Chart , safari Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Final Frontier

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:33 UTC 2017

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: Astronomy , awesome , infographic , learning , science , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What About Cone-ing?

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:31 UTC 2017

Cone-ing drive thru Pie Chart - 5380464128 Graph by: Altoid55 Tagged: Cone-ing , drive thru , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » There Are Others?

Tuesday 17 October 7:52:26 UTC 2017

best of week dubstep Music Pie Chart skrillex - 5883977472 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , dubstep , Music , Pie Chart , skrillex Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Aww nuts [Dumbass]

Tuesday 17 October 7:28:37 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Restocking

Tuesday 17 October 6:55:56 UTC 2017

LINENLESSNESSES has one I, two Ls, three Ns, four Es, and five Ss. (Discovered by Sir Jeremy Morse.) [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three coal-fired power plants generating more than 4,000 MW to be shut down by the end of 2018 in the God-forsaken, over-regulated, job-killing hell-hole of….Texas [Followup]

Tuesday 17 October 6:08:30 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Student who inhaled 360 nitrous oxide canisters in one week learns she may never walk again. Who's laughing now? [Dumbass]

Tuesday 17 October 5:43:48 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman fleeing California wildfire uses a duffel bag as a makeshift sidecar for her 70-pound dog [Hero]

Tuesday 17 October 5:02:58 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » United passenger pissed on and off simultaneously [Weeners]

Tuesday 17 October 4:53:45 UTC 2017

Weeners [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Way to go, Hamilton [Florida]

Tuesday 17 October 4:38:44 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maybe, just maybe, if we actually want to MAGA, we could start by getting every kindergartner free milk with their lunch, rather than relying on other five-year-olds having to raid their own piggybanks to pay for their peers. #sotiredofwinning [Asini

Tuesday 17 October 4:30:44 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [220 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your bear wants steak [Obvious]

Tuesday 17 October 4:16:28 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) it's "Psychedelia Night". Some songs are classified as "psychedelic rock", while some songs are a bit more blatant with the drug references, especially the comedy bits [Live]

Tuesday 17 October 3:09:21 UTC 2017

Live [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This story is bizarre even by Florida standards: Florida man commits murder over imaginary girlfriend [Florida]

Tuesday 17 October 2:55:41 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » North America's second-oldest Snow Monkey gets a promotion [Sad]

Tuesday 17 October 2:42:50 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Proving he's still learned nothing, Pharma Bro trolls the press [Dumbass]

Tuesday 17 October 1:03:00 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kneel for the anthem? Bad. Sit on the flag? Good [Misc]

Tuesday 17 October 0:21:43 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these New Zealand police officers [Photoshop]

Tuesday 17 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Archive

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