John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Painting of Weird Al Yankovic expected to fetch $100 million at auction [Interesting]

Thursday 12 October 23:40:44 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » White Widow killed in drone strike. Black Widow still a sexy badass [Dumbass]

Thursday 12 October 23:10:44 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet Diploscapter pachys, a tiny worm who hasn't had sex in 18 million years. And you thought you were in a dry patch [Interesting]

Thursday 12 October 22:40:44 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And the latest person to succumb to Harvey Weinstein's taint is…Steve Bannon. OK, now this is just getting gross [Sick]

Thursday 12 October 22:14:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Recording of sound tied to diplomat attacks in Cuba surfaced. Nickelback officially cleared of all wrongdoing [Followup]

Thursday 12 October 21:41:53 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [149 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Red Wings welcome back "banned for life" Canadian who tossed the 1st octopus on ice at Little Caesar's Arena, book-ending his previous accomplishment: "since I threw the last one at the Joe(Louis Arena), I had to try" [Spiffy]

Thursday 12 October 21:20:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » JFK Airport guards might not catch many terrorists, but nobody has them beat for forced sex voyeurism [Weird]

Thursday 12 October 21:15:27 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Sure, Thanksgiving is coming soon, but turkey can be enjoyed all year long. Besides.. what if you don't want a whole bird? Faires may be closing up but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy a mighty fine leg or breast at hom

Thursday 12 October 21:00:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On your son's first birthday, don't just give him memories. Give him diabetes and a lifetime of crippling obesity [Strange]

Thursday 12 October 20:56:59 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian mall owner to invading bees: I see you've played buzzy-stingy before [Scary]

Thursday 12 October 20:38:32 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Pakistan, you can sell clothes with Hitler's name on it because the average Pakistani doesn't know who Hitler was [Weird]

Thursday 12 October 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Take a hit of this weed, it's out of this world. Literally [Spiffy]

Thursday 12 October 20:20:00 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wheelchairs have an even worse record vs. trains than cars [Scary]

Thursday 12 October 20:07:12 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this imminent catch [Photoshop]

Thursday 12 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you live in Toronto? Well, now you can sample seal meat, while thinking of their cute faces [PSA]

Thursday 12 October 19:50:04 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Icelandic carbon dioxide scrubbing system turns CO2 to stone, prompting Jeff Lynne to sue for copyright infringement [Spiffy]

Thursday 12 October 19:37:13 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This just in: Tourists attending 'hooker holiday' might get screwed. (w/ not safe for work video) [Obvious]

Thursday 12 October 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Facebook reveals its new tag to identify fake news stories. What a great idea, why didn't we think of that months ago? [Fake]

Thursday 12 October 19:07:12 UTC 2017

Fake [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Jump Cut

Thursday 12 October 18:54:53 UTC 2017

This must have scared the daylights out of people in 1895 — The Execution of Mary Stuart, one of the first films to use editing for special effects. After the executioner raises his ax, the actress is replaced with a mannequin. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can you spot the yellow M&M in this pile of candy corn? Meh, call me when it's candy pumpkins [Amusing]

Thursday 12 October 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Headline "Why the Vegas shooter did it". Article: Fark if anybody really knows at this point because the investigation is ongoing, but here's 20,000 words of me using the tragedy to explain to you what *I* think is wrong with society [Fai

Thursday 12 October 18:41:53 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brazilian family all have 12 fingers each. Whoa, that's a lot of fingers [Strange]

Thursday 12 October 18:20:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Uh, yeah, 911? This is the museum down the road, we've got a couple of WW2 artillery shells on display here and we're not sure if they're live. Can you help us?" 911larity ensues [Stupid]

Thursday 12 October 18:18:27 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maybe if I put a "No prostitutes allowed" sign in my yard, the prostitutes will stop leaving used condoms around [Florida]

Thursday 12 October 18:00:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hurricane Ophelia set to give the UK a weather Brexit (possible nsfw content on page) [Scary]

Thursday 12 October 17:40:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police on the lookout for double entendre [Amusing]

Thursday 12 October 17:10:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today in Fark's media outreach program (details in thread) [Followup]

Thursday 12 October 17:00:00 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I got Snickers and M&Ms What did you get?" "I got something that says 'the penalty for your crimes against God is death and eternal hell'" [Stupid]

Thursday 12 October 16:30:04 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [169 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't steal a ring off a dying cancer patient's finger, and if you do, don't leave the pawn shop receipt out in the open where her daughter can see it when she confronts you [Asinine]

Thursday 12 October 16:10:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm not saying that Congress is full of pill-popping septuagenarians, but this article is [Fail]

Thursday 12 October 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida Man visits Seattle, discovers legal edible marijuana, punches out flight attendant on the way home while trying to open the emergency door, then claims it wasn't his fault. Judge agrees [Florida]

Thursday 12 October 15:38:32 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dan Brown says that God will be replaced by "collective consciousness"…as foretold by the prophecy that he created in his own book that he just happens to have just completed [Weird]

Thursday 12 October 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New research shows that pumas are not actually all that solitary. Most of this research likely took place on Pornhub, because that's where you discovered this fact years ago [Interesting]

Thursday 12 October 15:06:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Hey let's go backpacking in Afghanistan. What could possibly go wrong?" Five years later… [Followup]

Thursday 12 October 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » US: Coal 4evah dawgs. Rest of world: Yeah, no [Obvious]

Thursday 12 October 14:34:19 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best way to quit ever: Spray painting 'up yours I quit' and 'stick your job up your a***' on your boss's car. Worst way to quit ever: Also writing 'worse boss ever' [Fail]

Thursday 12 October 14:15:52 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former Miss USA contestant Candace Smith asks Trump defender and harassment shield Kellyanne of Green Goebbels why Trump was in her dressing room in 1997 while she was getting dressed for the pageant [Followup]

Thursday 12 October 13:59:52 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [227 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Facebook thinks you might want to use your friends and family account to be friends with clients from your secret life as a sex worker [Amusing]

Thursday 12 October 13:43:52 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Woman finds naked intruder in her home eating pineapple." Well, at least she didn't put the pineapple on top of a pizza [Florida]

Thursday 12 October 13:27:52 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Postman delivers mail to burned out California homes in apocalyptic drone video. Wasn't this a Kevin Costner movie? [Strange]

Thursday 12 October 13:11:52 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this residential restroom [Photoshop]

Thursday 12 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So why did the Vikings have 'Allah' on their clothes? That's nobody's business but the Turks' [Interesting]

Thursday 12 October 12:50:03 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [69 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Rubber Creatures from Outer Space

Thursday 12 October 12:04:50 UTC 2017

All this month the Durham Art Guild is presenting a collection of clothes made from recycled bicycle inner tubes. The collection is called Rubber Creatures from Outer Space!

The clothes were created by artist Tom Buhrman, who also created an accompanying Rubber Creatures website. Plus, there's a soundtrack for the show that you can download for free.

More info: heraldsun.com … [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Tony Sarg

Thursday 12 October 12:04:49 UTC 2017

Tony Sarg, "America's Puppet Master," did some weird stuff, among which were early Macy's Thanksgiving Parade balloons; the cartoon below; and his inflatable beach monster on Nantucket.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Equifax hacked. This is not a repeat from a month ago [Facepalm]

Thursday 12 October 11:50:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sex doll brothel owner says visitors have disturbing requests. Sorry, you lost me at "sex doll brothel" (possibly Not Safe for Work) [Plug]

Thursday 12 October 11:10:40 UTC 2017

Plug [link] [222 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not having anything else to do (cough. Puerto Rico. cough. Harvey. cough. Health Care. cough cough cough cough cough cough) Trump takes it on himself to give the NFL a little advice [Stupid]

Thursday 12 October 10:22:58 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [65 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Well, That Sounds Exciting

Thursday 12 October 10:15:13 UTC 2017

australia desert Maps sharks stereotypes steve irwin - 5126548736 Graph by: Commander_Epic_the_Great Tagged: australia , desert , Maps , sharks , stereotypes , steve irwin Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That Feel When You Realize Your Crush Is Way More Attractive Than You

Thursday 12 October 10:15:12 UTC 2017

attractive crush i know that feel venn diagram - 5587694080 Graph by: GoliathJT Tagged: attractive , crush , i know that feel , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Kids Reaction to New Toys

Thursday 12 October 10:15:11 UTC 2017

after before buy kids need toys - 2353561856 Graph by: smartash Tagged: after , before , buy , kids , need , toys Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But It's so Tasty!

Thursday 12 October 10:15:10 UTC 2017

beverages exercise gatorade life sports venn diagram - 4649289472 And kind of salty. Graph by: Strudel19 Tagged: beverages , exercise , gatorade , life , sports , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » BRB, Moving to Japan

Thursday 12 October 10:15:08 UTC 2017

according to anime Japan Pie Chart - 5102142976 Graph by: GuyWithAMoustache Tagged: according to , anime , Japan , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 'Cause They Try, and They Try, and They Try

Thursday 12 October 10:15:07 UTC 2017

Music Pie Chart rolling stones satisfaction - 5344704256 Graph by: 101001 Tagged: Music , Pie Chart , rolling stones , satisfaction Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Not Like You Kick the Ball With Your Feet or Something

Thursday 12 October 10:15:06 UTC 2017

english fail football infographic language soccer - 4705942016 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: english fail , football , infographic , language , soccer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things to Release at a Wedding

Thursday 12 October 10:15:05 UTC 2017

Bar Graph best of week kraken marriage released wedding - 6391092736 Graph by: (via Coolness Graphed) Tagged: Bar Graph , best of week , kraken , marriage , released , wedding Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Now You're Thinking With Petabytes

Thursday 12 October 10:15:04 UTC 2017

data infographic numbers petabyte - 5148455424 Graph by: Reinforcement Tagged: data , infographic , numbers , petabyte Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Are They Putting in Those Bears?

Thursday 12 October 10:15:01 UTC 2017

Bar Graph dog toys dogs teddy bears - 5470177792 Graph by: DoctorWhoFanGeekAwesome Tagged: Bar Graph , dog toys , dogs , teddy bears Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The amount of jerks you befriend in Junior High

Thursday 12 October 10:14:56 UTC 2017

friends jerks junior high school - 1391430400 LoL by: Unknown Tagged: friends , jerks , junior high , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Volume of my Alarm Clock

Thursday 12 October 10:14:55 UTC 2017

alarm Bar Graph class clock morning nap ready saturday shower time volume - 3283975936 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: alarm , Bar Graph , class , clock , morning , nap , ready , saturday , shower , time , volume Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'm All of the Above!

Thursday 12 October 10:14:54 UTC 2017

chat Omegle perverts Pie Chart trolling - 5407492608 Graph by: Error104 Tagged: chat , Omegle , perverts , Pie Chart , trolling Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Gotta Get a Fancy Hat

Thursday 12 October 10:14:53 UTC 2017

heroes movies television venn diagram video games - 4625926144 Graph by: BatterySphere Tagged: heroes , movies , television , venn diagram , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Unless There's Free Food In the Office

Thursday 12 October 10:14:52 UTC 2017

call in sick flow chart sick work yes - 5038536960 Graph by: (via This Isn't Happiness) Tagged: call in sick , flow chart , sick , work , yes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Revised Hierarchy of Needs

Thursday 12 October 10:14:51 UTC 2017

best of week hierarchy internet needs - 6378375424 Graph by: (via Tastefully Offensive) Tagged: best of week , hierarchy , internet , needs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Lesson I Should Have Learned Last Semester

Thursday 12 October 10:14:50 UTC 2017

finals Bar Graph facebook graphs funny - 7492292608 Graph by: captainmeemo Tagged: finals , Bar Graph , facebook , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » On the subject of Grammatical Errors…

Thursday 12 October 10:14:49 UTC 2017

complain computer errors grammar hypocrites internet - 2315561216 Graph by: bizniz Tagged: complain , computer , errors , grammar , hypocrites , internet Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Types at the gym

Thursday 12 October 10:14:47 UTC 2017

elderly fit gay gym men obsessive people shape types - 2943012352 Graph by: graphs1001 Tagged: elderly , fit , gay , gym , men , obsessive , people , shape , types Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Length Of Hair Of Male Singer vs. music genre

Thursday 12 October 10:14:46 UTC 2017

hair length metal Music pop rap rock - 2002645248 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: hair , length , metal , Music , pop , rap , rock Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wizard of Oz

Thursday 12 October 10:14:45 UTC 2017

bears lion tigers wizard of oz - 2138191104 Graph by: cz_squishy Tagged: bears , lion , tigers , wizard of oz Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Finally, I'll Have Time to Sleep

Thursday 12 October 10:14:44 UTC 2017

parents Pie Chart school summer - 5175289344 Graph by: hamfam Tagged: parents , Pie Chart , school , summer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Talking speed in parts of medicine commercials

Thursday 12 October 10:14:42 UTC 2017

ask commercials doctor fast medicine normal side effects slow speed talking - 3211100672 Graph by: David_the_Bored Tagged: ask , commercials , doctor , fast , medicine , normal , side effects , slow , speed , talking Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But I'm Always Thinking About Elephants!

Thursday 12 October 10:14:41 UTC 2017

classic psychology dont think elephants elephants is a code word for sex losing Pie Chart sex is a code word for politics the game - 4490878976 Graph by: Siouxperman Tagged: classic psychology , dont think , elephants , elephants is a code word for sex , losing , Pie Chart , sex is a code word for politics , the game Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Perfectly Centered Venn Diagram

Thursday 12 October 10:14:35 UTC 2017

ego venn diagram - 7934359296 Self-Centered. Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: ego , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Accursed Device!

Thursday 12 October 10:14:33 UTC 2017

best of week computer fourth dimension USB - 6423111936 Graph by: (via Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal) Tagged: best of week , computer , fourth dimension , USB Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But What If You Use Google Hangout?

Thursday 12 October 10:14:30 UTC 2017

friends Pie Chart the internet social life - 7880391680 Graph by: YakuzaDuragon Tagged: friends , Pie Chart , the internet , social life Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Debt Limit Explained

Thursday 12 October 10:14:29 UTC 2017

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: debt limit , Video , politics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Of the Tiger

Thursday 12 October 10:14:28 UTC 2017

eye of the tiger i will survive imma be lyrics Pie Chart whip my hair - 4543379200 Graph by: chuckles-the-pig Tagged: eye of the tiger , i will survive , imma be , lyrics , Pie Chart , whip my hair Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » We All Can't Be the Voldemort's Nemesis

Thursday 12 October 10:14:27 UTC 2017

Harry Potter Nemesis Pie Chart - 5259410432 Graph by: harrypotter4life Tagged: Harry Potter , Nemesis , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Greg Gianforte's (R-eporter attacking numbnuts) mugshot finally released [Fail]

Thursday 12 October 7:05:06 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even on Fark, the words "sex toy" and "day care" should never appear in the same headline. SFW video [Sick]

Thursday 12 October 6:56:51 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Black and White

Thursday 12 October 6:41:18 UTC 2017

“We now give what is acknowledged to be the finest two-move problem extant,” wrote J.H. Blackburne in the Strand in 1908. “It is by the American expert, W.A. Shinkman, and is also claimed by G.E. Carpenter, a fellow countryman of his. Here we have not only a difficult key-move, but also beauty of theme and artistic construction, the three essential … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So I fresh-grated a potato, added garlic salt and black pepper, fried in a hot skillet, and my hasbrowns still came out a bit mushy. Help me out or take the Weekly Weird News Quiz for October 1-7, hashbrown edition [Strange]

Thursday 12 October 5:24:33 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [279 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet the 2017 MacArthur Genius Grant Winners. Yes, they're better and smarter than you, but could they take you in Elite: Dangerous? I think not. I think not at all [Hero]

Thursday 12 October 5:12:17 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Intoxicated on call, involved in a kneeling during anthem argument at Denny's with a SWAT Car full of guns is no way to go through life son. Difficulty: Baltimore [Dumbass]

Thursday 12 October 4:19:00 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 649: "That's No Moon 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 12 October 4:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kansas: We are missing over 70 children that were in foster care. What happened to them? Companies running the state's foster care system: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [Asinine]

Thursday 12 October 3:45:48 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Students from Carpe Diem charter school seize the day, authorities seize the video [Awkward]

Thursday 12 October 3:07:03 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone just gave the TripAdvisor HQ a one bullet review [Murica]

Thursday 12 October 2:20:05 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The bestest of best men blows up the groom's butt with firecrackers after tying him to a lamppost [Dumbass]

Thursday 12 October 2:10:38 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hilarity ensues when defense attorney asks witness to explain LMFAO [Awkward]

Thursday 12 October 1:40:05 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis takes her gay marriage fight to Romania. Next up: Transylvania couples [Dumbass]

Thursday 12 October 1:06:14 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man accused of vandalizing, trying to burn Sheboygan home blames actions on extraterrestrials, kinda looks like one [Facepalm]

Thursday 12 October 1:00:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Article complains that Puerto Rican town where Trump tossed paper towels to desperate residents still doesn't have water or electricity. How ungrateful. Water? Electricity? Should he have tossed water balloons and taser people? People are never h

Thursday 12 October 0:52:47 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In news that I'm certain drooling gun fetishists will accept calmly and rationally, 9th Circuit Court rules that there's no constitutional right to sell firearms [Spiffy]

Thursday 12 October 0:40:02 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Indian airport customs authorities confiscate 22 pounds of butt nuggets [Plug]

Thursday 12 October 0:20:05 UTC 2017

Plug [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this whacked-out wheel-chair [Photoshop]

Thursday 12 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

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