John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Talking drone tries to lure kids away from school playground, says Skynet has great candy in its van [Scary]

Tuesday 10 October 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rhode Island man wins world record with Heaviest Squash, weighing in at 4.1 Rhode Islands [Weird]

Tuesday 10 October 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some Farkers would welcome such interaction, including subby [Giggity]

Tuesday 10 October 22:20:06 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Ohhh thanks so much, darling. Just what I always wanted: pasta jewelry made from silver" [Strange]

Tuesday 10 October 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest in inappropriate Halloween costumes [Giggity]

Tuesday 10 October 21:20:04 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man shocked when his offer of donuts doesn't prevent cops from arresting him (with smiley mugshot) [Florida]

Tuesday 10 October 20:50:03 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That smoke detector video cam in your Airbnb room? Yeah, that's for my sex parties [Creepy]

Tuesday 10 October 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out the Texas Tech shooting was really, really illegal [Followup]

Tuesday 10 October 20:08:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [154 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Indian bug [Photoshop]

Tuesday 10 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vampire Removal Services advertised in Brooklyn. Eddie Murphy unavailable for comment [Strange]

Tuesday 10 October 19:44:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Disneyland takes on eerie, orange glow thanks to wildfires, Air Force One flyover [Creepy]

Tuesday 10 October 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California declared major disaster area, and not just Hollywood this time [Scary]

Tuesday 10 October 19:09:10 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Puerto Rican diaspora has begun with profound implications for America's political landscape [Sad]

Tuesday 10 October 19:02:33 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [157 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Richmond, VA to Boston: Hold your Lite Brite and watch this [Fail]

Tuesday 10 October 18:40:44 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Alphabet Building

Tuesday 10 October 18:21:13 UTC 2017

Dutch architects MVRDV created a unique design for Amsterdam’s Alfabetgebouw, an office building for small and mid-size creative companies. On the building’s east side a series of dotted windows spell out the building’s street number, 52, and on the north side the shape of each window reflects the unit number of its tenant. To make the alphabet fit on a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bad: your team loses. Meh: so you burn their team's jersey. Florida Man: while wearing it [Florida]

Tuesday 10 October 18:14:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tired of overly chipper baristas serving your morning coffee? How about a nice hot cup of Living Death [Strange]

Tuesday 10 October 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to visit the Titanic? Yes, the real one. The one on the bottom of the ocean. Well, if you have $105,129 burning a hole in your pocket, now you can [Spiffy]

Tuesday 10 October 17:31:53 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Salmon farming pens – which collapsed months ago, releasing tens of thousands of non-native fish – found to be mostly operating on the honor system for keeping fish inside [Facepalm]

Tuesday 10 October 17:11:53 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The New Yorker has released its Harvey Weinstein exposé. Just…ewwww [Followup]

Tuesday 10 October 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [363 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man attempts canal jump in his Toyota Corolla instead of driving two blocks out of his way. Roscoe P Coltrane seen in close pursuit [Florida]

Tuesday 10 October 16:38:40 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Wanna hear a scary story? 👻 [FarkBlog]

Tuesday 10 October 16:18:40 UTC 2017

FarkBlog [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Non-white Britons twice as likely to be unemployed, see the violence inherent in the system [Interesting]

Tuesday 10 October 16:11:53 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-10-01 to Sat 2017-10-07 [FarkBlog]

Tuesday 10 October 15:57:57 UTC 2017

FarkBlog [link] [0 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two injured while taking selfies with elk [Dumbass]

Tuesday 10 October 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CCTV cameras in an Ireland school have legitimately captured legitimate proof that legitimate ghosts exist in this, the most legitimately legit video clip of a legitimate poltergeist you'll ever see. Legit [Scary]

Tuesday 10 October 15:35:52 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [173 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Take 2 days off social media and news, then call me in the morning [Murica]

Tuesday 10 October 15:14:03 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alcohol and Bowie knives do not mix [Scary]

Tuesday 10 October 14:50:03 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's illegal to remove more than 25 pounds of rocks from the Great Lakes [Strange]

Tuesday 10 October 14:43:24 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "One of the 22 medically confirmed Americans injured by unexplained attacks in Havana [says] U.S. response to injured embassy personnel was handled 'poorly' and that their complaints were ignored by senior embassy leadership." There a

Tuesday 10 October 14:16:44 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida Man continues superhero training, tells cops Naruto was teaching him how to be a Ninja when he failed to break into a Target store [Florida]

Tuesday 10 October 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Las Vegas police have altered their timeline so that the heroic unarmed security guard who stopped the shooter's rampage actually got shot before the rampage ever started. Pray they do not alter it further [Fail]

Tuesday 10 October 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [184 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this colorful fashion statement [Photoshop]

Tuesday 10 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you are travelling abroad for cosmetic surgery, chances are you'll look a bit different from your passport photo on the way back [Amusing]

Tuesday 10 October 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Catholic Hipster Handbook

Tuesday 10 October 11:56:45 UTC 2017

New from Ave Maria Press comes the Catholic Hipster Handbook. According to the publisher's blurb, the book is about "yearning to learn more about the faith by seeking out 'Catholic cool'—overlooked saints, forgotten prayers and feast days, and traditional practices long set aside by mainstream believers."

The book sounds interesting. But it reminded me that four years ago I posted … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't want to pay your restaurant bill? Fake a bomb threat [Dumbass]

Tuesday 10 October 11:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Racist with poor taste in beer finds that his GED in law doesn't prevent him from getting kicked off of the subway [Dumbass]

Tuesday 10 October 11:37:41 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Islamic Society of Orange County announces on Twitter they're opening their doors for those forced to leave their homes due to the massive brush fire. Being Twitter the imam has to put out a Twitter troll fire, and does so in an amazing way [Hero

Tuesday 10 October 11:20:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [71 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » 6 Reasons Pumpkins are the Best Anything

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:56 UTC 2017

pumpkins october halloween fall - 6639623424 See all the best pumpkins on Cheezburger's new Halloween site! Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: pumpkins , october , halloween , fall Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just Don't Go Wandering Off in the Tall Grass

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:54 UTC 2017

amusement parks best of week Japan moving Pie Chart Pokémon - 6256354048 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: amusement parks , best of week , Japan , moving , Pie Chart , Pokémon Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Graphs, Graphs, Graphs!

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:52 UTC 2017

hamlet not to be Pie Chart shakespeare to be words words words - 4272029440 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: hamlet , not to be , Pie Chart , shakespeare , to be , words words words Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How does Lady Gaga like her steak?

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:50 UTC 2017

food Hall of Fame lady gaga lyrics medium rare raw steak well done - 3295819520 Graph by: bonertime98 Tagged: food , Hall of Fame , lady gaga , lyrics , medium , rare , raw , steak , well done Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't Forget the Lord of the Rings References

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:49 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 5509804544 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Seeing Good in the World: Kiva Loans

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:48 UTC 2017

See over 600,000 people making loans to those in need through Kiva, then try to tell me you aren't even a little bit inspired. Learn more about Kiva loans here. Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: cool , loans , map , Maps , microfinance , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Splash Damage

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:46 UTC 2017

games truth damage bazooka - 4456020992 Graph by: 1337speaker Tagged: games , truth , damage , bazooka Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Should You Get a Tattoo?

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:43 UTC 2017

flowchart tattoo regret - 7047003136 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: flowchart , tattoo , regret Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Ugh, Never Sitting Again

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:42 UTC 2017

gross movies Pie Chart Popcorn - 4744246272 Graph by: Lucyhallgr18 Tagged: gross , movies , Pie Chart , Popcorn Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Short Ribs Are Definitely Full of Wishes

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:40 UTC 2017

anatomy infographic myth unicorns - 4628201472 And delicious! Graph by: (via I Raff I Ruse) Tagged: anatomy , infographic , myth , unicorns Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Of Course I've Been Flossing

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:36 UTC 2017

dentists flossing Line Graph oral hygiene teeth - 6324621056 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: dentists , flossing , Line Graph , oral hygiene , teeth Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Name That Space Rock!

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:35 UTC 2017

meteor asteroid comet space - 7080314112 Graph by: (via Narwhalcreative) Tagged: meteor , asteroid , comet , space Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Amount of fun you are having while Sledding.

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:32 UTC 2017

Bar Graph bottom climbing fun hill sledding top - 3068390400 Graph by: Marisaaaaa Tagged: Bar Graph , bottom , climbing , fun , hill , sledding , top Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Below-Ground Swing Sets Sound Exciting!

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:29 UTC 2017

classy creepy pools swings - 4825542400 Graph by: Danger Barron (via www.marriedtothesea.com) Tagged: classy , creepy , pools , swings Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Opposite of the Five Finger Discount

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:28 UTC 2017

charity five finger discount money touching TSA venn diagram - 4328732672 Graph by: sonalis Tagged: charity , five finger discount , money , touching , TSA , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Please, I Won't Ask for Anything Stupid Ever Again!

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:27 UTC 2017

football god Pie Chart praying religion sports - 6306064640 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: football , god , Pie Chart , praying , religion , sports Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Look Out! He's Slashing!

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:25 UTC 2017

chainsaw hockey mask Pie Chart pyscho slashing sports - 4475224064 Graph by: zombiecatwillgetyou Tagged: chainsaw , hockey , mask , Pie Chart , pyscho , slashing , sports Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who Am I Kidding, Definitely Tonight

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:23 UTC 2017

kidding alcohol Line Graph time Party - 6689878528 Graph by: IAmNotGonnaTellYou Tagged: kidding , alcohol , Line Graph , time , Party Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Interesting Facts About Christmas!

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:20 UTC 2017

christmas infographic facts - 7960751360 Submitted by: (via Maxabout.com) Tagged: christmas , infographic , facts Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Likelihood of experiencing the worst itch ever while performing various activities

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:18 UTC 2017

driving graphjam graphs Guitar Hero Music situational humor - 1703708928 LoL by: nikau Tagged: driving , graphjam , graphs , Guitar Hero , Music , situational humor Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » DESIRABILITY OF SOCKS AS A GIFT

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:17 UTC 2017

Babies Death desire gifts old socks teens young - 2199991552 Graph by: camleiben Tagged: Babies , Death , desire , gifts , old , socks , teens , young Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » To My Future Partner

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:16 UTC 2017

dishwasher equality relationship - 7245464832 Graph by: SupRflyDK (via Chart Attack) Tagged: dishwasher , equality , relationship Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hey Look, Pie Charts Look Like Pac-Man

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:15 UTC 2017

80s board games pacman Pie Chart trivial pursuit video games - 4624794624 Graph by: (via Pop Chart Lab) Tagged: 80s , board games , pacman , Pie Chart , trivial pursuit , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Relationship Graph

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:13 UTC 2017

awkwardness dating marriage relationships - 6602113536 Graph by: (via Koreh) Tagged: awkwardness , dating , marriage , relationships Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons for Volunteering

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:10 UTC 2017

pie charts volunteering graphs funny - 7524813056 Graph by: RedIronCrown Tagged: pie charts , volunteering , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » There's Always One in a Group

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:09 UTC 2017

alphabet Bar Graph letters syllables - 7984673536 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: alphabet , Bar Graph , letters , syllables Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Where to Find These People

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:08 UTC 2017

chat rooms craigslist internet murderers pedophiles prostitutes - 2139023104 Graph by: Mantis15 Tagged: chat rooms , craigslist , internet , murderers , pedophiles , prostitutes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Damn Low Heart Sound

Tuesday 10 October 10:47:07 UTC 2017

Death legend of zelda hearts - 7148828672 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Death , legend of zelda , hearts Share on Facebook [Link]

Weird Universe » Crazy Cafe

Tuesday 10 October 10:26:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mark Zuckerberg's cartoon avatar virtually exploring storm-ravaged Puerto Rico is the whitest thing whitey ever white-splained while white [Dumbass]

Tuesday 10 October 10:13:41 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Recent Google search trends definitely won't make you feel any better about the country [Sad]

Tuesday 10 October 9:43:46 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 17th annual Vermont tractor parade "inspires awe", was "highly anticipated", was "talked about all year". Subby couldn't go, he was too busy having sex with his gorgeous wife, Morgan Fairchild [Unlikely]

Tuesday 10 October 8:33:41 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Got a uterus? That's a visit to HR [Asinine]

Tuesday 10 October 7:15:19 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » PSA: When making donations to the food bank please make sure it's within the expiration date and not 46 years old [Facepalm]

Tuesday 10 October 6:47:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ok, for all you old-school Farkers out there, an almost blast from the past. It's not the old Mugshot Roundup, but close. Feast your eyes on the worst mugshot haircuts to be found on the internet [Amusing]

Tuesday 10 October 6:46:47 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Hedgehog’s Dilemma

Tuesday 10 October 6:00:44 UTC 2017

“On cold days people manage to get some warmth by crowding together,” writes Schopenhauer in his Counsels and Maxims, “and you can warm your mind in the same way — by bringing it into contact with others. But a man who has a great deal of intellectual warmth in himself will stand in no need of such resources.” He offers … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Neighbor sees woman being mauled by dog, grabs gun. What happens next will surprise you [Facepalm]

Tuesday 10 October 5:52:24 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The black man who was severely beaten by a pack of neo-Nazis in a Charlottesville parking garage has now been charged for defending himself (bloody image warning) [Asinine]

Tuesday 10 October 5:26:21 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [379 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you've ever stolen anything from the historic Washington Marriott Wardman Park, the hotel wants you to know that it would like its stuff back, please. And you could earn a free stay by returning it. Just don't, you know, steal anything els

Tuesday 10 October 5:11:31 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man dressed in shark costume outside of a McShark store arrested and fined for violating Austria's burqa ban [Amusing]

Tuesday 10 October 3:50:39 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drain cleaner has not been shown to be an effective decay preventative dentifrice when used in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care [Scary]

Tuesday 10 October 3:50:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mysterious drifter on homemade raft full of guns fits descriptions of local arsonist, but lack of police means he has to be bribed with cigarettes to stay out of town. This story brought to you by A: Clint Eastwood, B: Fallout, or C: Alaska [Strange]

Tuesday 10 October 3:44:58 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's tone deaf, and then there's this [Facepalm]

Tuesday 10 October 3:20:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Head lice lurking in that thrift store Halloween costume? It's more likely than you think [Creepy]

Tuesday 10 October 2:40:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Farker king of vegas quoted in article about Vegas shooter and the lifestyle of video poker pros [Interesting]

Tuesday 10 October 2:37:54 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The sex robots are coming… but only after you've fallen asleep [Scary]

Tuesday 10 October 1:42:21 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apple's Chief Design Officer has some advice for customers who experience problems with their iPhones: Stop misusing them. And what does misusing them involve? Using them, apparently [Facepalm]

Tuesday 10 October 1:30:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Groundbreaking study finds fewer men will hold down productive jobs when they're passed out in an alley behind a bar with a heroin needle sticking out of the arm [Murica]

Tuesday 10 October 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cup it Up closes it up [Followup]

Tuesday 10 October 0:10:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [214 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this toy boat [Photoshop]

Tuesday 10 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

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