John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Two-story-tall, street-food-eating raccoon invades Philly neighborhood [Spiffy]

Saturday 7 October 23:56:36 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to be a decent human being when you go to dump someone? Here's the decent science [Interesting]

Saturday 7 October 23:12:19 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Parents, teachers, and employers be forewarned: Marijuana is going mainstream [Scary]

Saturday 7 October 22:16:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man takes Halloween decorating to a new extreme [Sick]

Saturday 7 October 21:19:37 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Baron von Redberry and Sir Grapefellow [Photoshop]

Saturday 7 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you've misplaced a number of potted pot plants, the Gainesville Police Department would like you to please come pick them up. (with helpful photo of the plants) [Florida]

Saturday 7 October 19:58:33 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Plainclothes NYPD cop doesn't clown around when it comes to NY Comic Con [Creepy]

Saturday 7 October 19:38:40 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In 1966, 1,600 airmen were exposed to radiation after an H-bomb-carrying plane crashed while refueling. 50 years later, veterans still unable to file disability claims because the Pentagon won't release results of medical tests [Asinine]

Saturday 7 October 17:39:22 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline "Topless dancer loses pot-laced box of bakery." Police require more time to investigate how baked the bakery will bake you [Awkward]

Saturday 7 October 17:15:33 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The FBI thwarted ISIS terror attacks on New York's subway system and Times Square, but feel enough time has passed they can tell us about it [Spiffy]

Saturday 7 October 17:12:40 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New on the state fair menu: the cotton candy burrito (pics) [Sick]

Saturday 7 October 17:02:26 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you mistake a Jack Daniel's flag for an ISIS banner, you likely have had a bit too much of the former to drink. Just saying [Facepalm]

Saturday 7 October 16:59:29 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Would you date someone shorter or taller than you? Would you date a smoker? Would you date someone that did recreational drugs? Would you date someone that had to move back in with their parents for financial reasons? [Silly]

Saturday 7 October 16:55:11 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Misc

Saturday 7 October 15:55:03 UTC 2017

Dick Gregory gave his twin daughters the middle names Inte and Gration. Trains were invented before bicycles. CONSTRAINT = CANNOT STIR “We must believe in free will — we have no choice.” — Isaac Bashevis Singer “How Rumors Spread,” a palindrome by Fred Yannantuono: “Idiot to idiot to idiot to idiot to idiot to idi …” [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Garnishing your drink with orange peels or mint leaves. New alcohol-inspired creativeness: Garnishing your drink with Shishiato peppers or green corn shoots [Spiffy]

Saturday 7 October 15:52:19 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nose hair extensions are the next hot beauty trend everyone needs to try (w/ pics) (possible NSFW content on page) [Unlikely]

Saturday 7 October 15:48:20 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I want to believe ….that mermaids exist [Weird]

Saturday 7 October 15:12:39 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Car plows into pedestrians outside the Natural History Museum in London. Police responding [News]

Saturday 7 October 14:48:04 UTC 2017

News [link] [163 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To the surprise of nobody anywhere, having a car loaded with touchscreens, navigation devices, texting abilities, and elaborate music systems can be distracting to the driver [Obvious]

Saturday 7 October 14:39:18 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Orleans residents: "Oh crap…here we go again" [Followup]

Saturday 7 October 14:21:18 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I have a funny habit of eating Pringles on airplanes. I'm not sure why, as it's really the only time I eat them" [Strange]

Saturday 7 October 13:42:18 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cute video of an owlet taking a bath. Whooooo the hell would film that? [Amusing]

Saturday 7 October 13:19:16 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this fall fruit. Difficulty: no POTUS [Photoshop]

Saturday 7 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Chickens as traffic control

Saturday 7 October 12:50:20 UTC 2017

1975: Rather than installing expensive signs or speed bumps, Napa, California experimented with using chickens to slow down motorists on one of its streets — Streblow Drive, bordering Kennedy Park. They simply let 85 chickens roam the park and street at will. Said park superintendent Bob Pelusi, "Only occasionally does an errant driver charge through the flock. In the nine … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I bet she didn't see this coming [Dumbass]

Saturday 7 October 12:48:31 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nurse Raisin, please report to the OR, Nurse Raisin to the OR on Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 7 October 12:00:00 UTC 2017

Caturday [link] [692 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » A Date With Your Family

Saturday 7 October 10:52:00 UTC 2017

No one, even at the time, thought of incest allusions? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It really is great to see family members spending quality time together. And only one going to jail [Stupid]

Saturday 7 October 9:43:46 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [27 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Bourbon and Cola

Saturday 7 October 8:56:11 UTC 2017

Bar Graph drinking FRIDAY - 6476311040 Graph by: daniandan Tagged: Bar Graph , drinking , FRIDAY Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Me Missing Work vs. Boss Noticing

Saturday 7 October 8:56:10 UTC 2017

bar graphs boss day early extra image late long lunch minutes missing normal noticing sneak work working - 3059204864 Graph by: dcalive Tagged: bar graphs , boss , day , early , extra , image , late , long , lunch , minutes , missing , normal , noticing , sneak , work , working Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Then Throw the Ball!

Saturday 7 October 8:56:09 UTC 2017

dogs graphs funny Pie Chart - 7459644672 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: dogs , graphs , funny , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People Who Say They Are 90's Kids

Saturday 7 October 8:56:08 UTC 2017

90 kids Pie Chart - 7048485120 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: 90 , kids , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Make It Happen, Captain.

Saturday 7 October 8:56:07 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3944297984 http://www.themorningnews.org/archi~ Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: Opposite of Progress

Saturday 7 October 8:56:05 UTC 2017

Congress opposite politics venn diagram - 5492257536 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Congress , opposite , politics , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Should Have Been a Doctor

Saturday 7 October 8:56:03 UTC 2017

best of week Greys Anatomy medical drama Pie Chart TV - 5846565376 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , Greys Anatomy , medical drama , Pie Chart , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Law School vs Practice

Saturday 7 October 8:56:02 UTC 2017

law school venn diagrams Lawyers graphs funny - 7619060992 Graph by: chelsea_fc Tagged: law school , venn diagrams , Lawyers , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Is That Even a Real Question?

Saturday 7 October 8:55:57 UTC 2017

hermoine intelligence bella idiots - 5134546176 Graph by: N.1HPFAN Tagged: hermoine , intelligence , bella , idiots Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hit the Lights and Dive Under the Covers!

Saturday 7 October 8:55:56 UTC 2017

bed time blankies cold Pie Chart shadow lurker - 6481323008 Graph by: C05MAT053 Tagged: bed time , blankies , cold , Pie Chart , shadow lurker Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I've Always Wanted to Do That

Saturday 7 October 8:55:55 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 7091767040 Graph by: Lis (via friendship-circle.tumblr.com) Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Have a Huge Hot Sauce Stash

Saturday 7 October 8:55:54 UTC 2017

fast food gross infographic McDonald's men - 4853630208 Graph by: (via blog.lab42.com) Tagged: fast food , gross , infographic , McDonald's , men Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Your Hot Sauce Says About You

Saturday 7 October 8:55:52 UTC 2017

hot hot sauce spicy peppers personality - 6823305984 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: hot , hot sauce , spicy , peppers , personality Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Michael Jackson

Saturday 7 October 8:55:50 UTC 2017

ambiguous black color ebony and ivory michael jackson white - 2162134272 Graph by: shane956 Tagged: ambiguous , black , color , ebony and ivory , michael jackson , white Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Pisses me Off in Skyrim

Saturday 7 October 8:55:49 UTC 2017

annoying lydia Skyrim - 7396793600 Graph by: yrgul65 Tagged: annoying , lydia , Skyrim Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Much I Want Candy

Saturday 7 October 8:55:48 UTC 2017

after candy eating gone last Line Graph opening want - 2500437760 Graph by: chozobozo Tagged: after , candy , eating , gone , last , Line Graph , opening , want Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How You Doin?

Saturday 7 October 8:55:42 UTC 2017

greetings Hey internet Sad - 4896086272 Graph by: musicalphotons (via poorlydrawnlines.com) Tagged: greetings , Hey , internet , Sad Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Amazing

Saturday 7 October 8:55:41 UTC 2017

candy maracas - 7286991104 Graph by: stormchaser18 Tagged: candy , maracas Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Everything You Wanted to Know About Christmas’s Ugly Sweaters

Saturday 7 October 8:55:40 UTC 2017

fashion christmas ugly sweater - 7960717312 Submitted by: (via graphs.net) Tagged: fashion , christmas , ugly sweater Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Morgan Freeman's Chain of Command

Saturday 7 October 8:55:37 UTC 2017

best of week chain of command flow chart Memes Morgan Freeman movies - 6031751168 Quantifying Everything For Great Justice Submitted by: ultimatum1895 Tagged: best of week , chain of command , flow chart , Memes , Morgan Freeman , movies Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Actual People On A Teenage Chatroom.

Saturday 7 October 8:55:36 UTC 2017

chatroom internet technology - 1525224704 LoL by: skatesock Tagged: chatroom , internet , technology Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chances of Being in a Slasher Film

Saturday 7 October 8:55:33 UTC 2017

horror hot chick movies police rappers slasher film victims - 1767727872 LoL by: officefan93 Tagged: horror , hot chick , movies , police , rappers , slasher film , victims Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Government and Business

Saturday 7 October 8:55:32 UTC 2017

government venn diagram business - 7858274816 Submitted by: (via thinksquad) Tagged: government , venn diagram , business Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Art of Trolling: Nothing, Nothing, and More Nothing

Saturday 7 October 8:55:31 UTC 2017

australia best of week continent country Maps - 5811803136 Trolling is a art. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: australia , best of week , continent , country , Maps Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Can Has Cheezburger?: The Most Popular Cat Breeds

Saturday 7 October 8:55:29 UTC 2017

breeds cat breeds Cats charts comics illustrations infographics jim benton silly - 6596213504 Brazilian Shoe Poopers are as cute as they are rare and expensive! LoL by: (via Jim Benton) Tagged: breeds , cat breeds , Cats , charts , comics , illustrations , infographics , jim benton , silly Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Africkin' Huge

Saturday 7 October 8:55:28 UTC 2017

africa continents cool map Maps - 4839721216 Graph by: (via @brainpicker) Tagged: africa , continents , cool , map , Maps Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wal-Mart

Saturday 7 October 8:55:27 UTC 2017

around Bar Graph employees number open registers standing wal mart - 2797939200 Graph by: Adfirmus Tagged: around , Bar Graph , employees , number , open , registers , standing , wal mart Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Restaurant's owners at lunch: Go on Facebook to declare 100% support for Trump, drug screening welfare recipients and repealing Obamacare; but not kneeling during the Anthem or global warming. Restaurant owners by dinner: Delete. Delete. Delete [

Saturday 7 October 6:28:08 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [266 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sanctuary state? Sounds like you have lots of folks we might be interested in [Stupid]

Saturday 7 October 5:43:07 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Criminal mastermind riding stolen motorcycle with revoked license notices the cops have his roommate pulled over in another stolen car, figures he may as well stop to ask what's going on [Facepalm]

Saturday 7 October 5:41:19 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mattel decides to pull the plug on letting the internet babysit your kids [Facepalm]

Saturday 7 October 5:38:30 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Missouri, the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled on The Temple's appeal in their case to claim religious exemption from the state's informed consent and mandatory waiting period abortion restrictions. Fark: The Satanic Temple [Giggity]

Saturday 7 October 4:37:12 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We've got too much bad news yet again this week. Take some time away from it with the Fark News Quiz, Sept. 24-30 banana edition. Because it's bananas [Cool]

Saturday 7 October 3:37:31 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump will be visiting Hamburg, Pennsylvania Wednesday, according to White House briefing. Although, it's more than likely he just thought they made the very best hamburgers there and he wants one for lunch [Dumbass]

Saturday 7 October 3:36:31 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Convicted killer's strange statement invoking Trump halts sentencing hearing [Florida]

Saturday 7 October 3:15:25 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » GA Middle school history teacher gives her class a homework assignment to create a "Colorful Mascot" representing the Nazi party. Needless to say parents are Fuherious [Dumbass]

Saturday 7 October 2:48:22 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha… it was only a matter of time [Amusing]

Saturday 7 October 2:11:24 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One way to get drivers to slow down for pedestrians is to confuse them. Also works on cats, but summoning professionals recommended (possible nsfw content on page) [PSA]

Saturday 7 October 2:00:22 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FINALLY…a reason to go back to church [Cool]

Saturday 7 October 1:30:20 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Immortal

Saturday 7 October 1:20:10 UTC 2017

In 1929 James Barrie donated all his revenues from Peter Pan to the Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children in London. After Barrie died in 1937, the copyright became a major source of revenue for the hospital. Normally in the United Kingdom a copyright lasts until 50 years after the author’s death, so Peter Pan entered the public domain at … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lottery winners to receive A: Cash? B: Trips? or C: Decorative manhole covers? Difficulty: Japan [Strange]

Saturday 7 October 1:12:22 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 75% of the population of Venezuela has lost an average of 19 lbs due to food shortages and currency collapse. Meanwhile you gained another two pounds in the time it took you to read this headline [Sad]

Saturday 7 October 0:50:43 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Investigators probing whether others were in Las Vegas gunman's suite, besides Bump Stocks 'R' Us sales reps [Followup]

Saturday 7 October 0:12:22 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this unusual abode [Photoshop]

Saturday 7 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Archive

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