John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » To be fair, naked, drunk, and firing guns in the air IS a way to go through life, at least in Florida [Florida]

Wednesday 4 October 23:15:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Journalist arrested for writing an article about the first lady's used underwear. Difficulty: Not Melania [Obvious]

Wednesday 4 October 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OJ's lawyer to Simpson after Las Vegas massacre: "I hope nobody tries to pin any of this on you." Wow, class act, counselor [Dumbass]

Wednesday 4 October 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally the most important question about the Las Vegas shooting has been answered. Namely "who can we sue?" Stephen Paddock was recently prescribed benzodiazepine, a sedative that can cause people with underlying anger issues to "become

Wednesday 4 October 22:10:45 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And today's metaphor-of-the-day award goes to the sign that fell apart behind the UK Prime Minister while she gave a speech on Brexit [Facepalm]

Wednesday 4 October 21:44:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Sears Canada exec reneges on 40% of the court-approved Hardship Fund that was to be set aside for destitute laid-off workers. Fark: Because he's personally keeping the money as a bonus [Sick]

Wednesday 4 October 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Conspiracy theorists and amateur criminal behavioral analysts forced to reset as news surfaces that the Vegas gunman appears to have originally planned to attack the "Life is Beautiful" festival headlined by Chance the Rapper a week earlier [

Wednesday 4 October 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gas station attendant asks customer not to smoke while fueling his car. Customer refuses. Gas station attendant regretfully says he really must insist [Hero]

Wednesday 4 October 20:46:44 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [133 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gulf Coast residents prepare for impact of another hurricane, paper towels [Scary]

Wednesday 4 October 20:20:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop El Celacanto [Photoshop]

Wednesday 4 October 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » House passes bill to ban killing some fetuses [News]

Wednesday 4 October 19:50:04 UTC 2017

News [link] [473 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Catalonia preparing to declare independence from Spain. No big deal, it's not like the last Spanish Civil War led up to anything bad [Scary]

Wednesday 4 October 19:46:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chinese man admits to sneaking snakes in socks. Although why a snake would wear socks I dunno [Strange]

Wednesday 4 October 19:20:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let's go back in time to L.A.'s early days with palm trees, movie stars, and Klan rallies. Yes, that's right, I said palm trees [Strange]

Wednesday 4 October 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man carrying a .357-caliber Magnum, a loaded .45-caliber semi-automatic, a .223-caliber fully automatic assault rifle, a .308-caliber fully automatic assault rifle, more than 900 rounds of ammunition, and survival equipment pulled over for speeding [

Wednesday 4 October 18:40:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [264 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Free Standard Shipping

Wednesday 4 October 18:29:25 UTC 2017

Just a note: From today through Monday, standard shipping is free on all Futility Closet merchandise — shirts, mugs, hoodies, phone cases, baby bodysuits, even frickin’ aprons. Aprons! Think of it! Just enter coupon code FSH17 into the Coupon field when going through checkout. Thanks for your support! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Student banned from using college internet after illegally downloading Rick and Morty [Amusing]

Wednesday 4 October 18:16:44 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida to seek death penalty against killer clown. Considering the legal costs, that's just pound foolish, but Pennywise [Florida]

Wednesday 4 October 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arrr, check out me mugshot you buccaneers [Dumbass]

Wednesday 4 October 17:16:48 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [59 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Notice on CHICAGO TRIBUNE links

Wednesday 4 October 17:10:00 UTC 2017

Friends–I always delighted in searching the open archives of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE, and finding many items there to highlight on WU, with links back to the source.

This week the formerly open archives went behind a paywall. I understand the economics of it, but I'm still sad.

And of course, the old links won't work now.

Well, it was fun … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Colorado police would like you to stop calling them about the Mad Pooper [PSA]

Wednesday 4 October 16:46:48 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turkish archaeologists have found it. They've found the tomb of the guy responsible for Christmas. Believers rejoice. Hallelujah [Cool]

Wednesday 4 October 16:20:08 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge: Sir, are you classified as human? Sovereign Citizen: Negative. I am an agricultural product [Stupid]

Wednesday 4 October 15:50:06 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [199 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We must destroy these statues of oppression and hate. Take that, Virgin Mary [Asinine]

Wednesday 4 October 15:20:07 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vegas shooter stockpiled 33 weapons in the last 12 months, which would have sent off some warnings at the ATF that he might have been up to no good, if there wasn't a loophole in purchase tracking that excludes rifles [Murica]

Wednesday 4 October 14:50:05 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [786 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Girl falls down manhole and breaks her ankles. If only it'd been a girlhole, she would have been fine. See, 'cause manholes are for men. Is this thing on? [Sad]

Wednesday 4 October 14:20:06 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As if Las Vegas hasn't suffered enough, Trump plans visit to city today. No word what he'll be throwing to the crowds this time [Followup]

Wednesday 4 October 13:58:56 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [242 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's animals that got loose are….a bunch of goats and a donkey roaming the streets of Pittsburgh [Misc]

Wednesday 4 October 13:20:06 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this boredom with the police state [Photoshop]

Wednesday 4 October 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woofday Wednesday – Principal has the best excuse to bring her emotional support dog to school with her [Sappy]

Wednesday 4 October 13:00:00 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [157 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why is Las Vegas silent in the wake of the domestic terror attack that ravaged the city? [Followup]

Wednesday 4 October 12:50:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Harvest Moon, Full Hunter's Moon, Travel Moon, the Dying Moon, whatever you call it, get ready for a very special full moon tomorrow night [Cool]

Wednesday 4 October 11:50:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [68 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Tiny Food

Wednesday 4 October 11:49:38 UTC 2017

Artist Tom Brown creates tiny food in his tiny kitchen. He recently became famous on the Internet when George Takei shared the video below on Facebook, leading to 2.8 million views. Check out Tom's website here.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Spain could be headed to full-fledged civil war [Obvious]

Wednesday 4 October 11:30:30 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [163 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy would have been fine if it wasn't for that crazy butterfly he imagined. The imaginary butterfly defense, that old chestnut [Unlikely]

Wednesday 4 October 11:20:06 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York cop sues black man he wrongfully assaulted [Asinine]

Wednesday 4 October 10:43:30 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [101 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Unauthorized Dwellings 3

Wednesday 4 October 10:17:00 UTC 2017


[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The U.S. Food and Drug Administration may start cracking down on unproven claims that marijuana has health benefits. Other useless herbal supplements still just fine and dandy [Asinine]

Wednesday 4 October 8:20:00 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [150 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » So You're Playing Diablo III

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:48 UTC 2017

best of week computer diablo 3 dungeon crawlers flow chart RPG video games - 6261047808 Get Over Here and Play a Video Game WIN! Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , computer , diablo 3 , dungeon crawlers , flow chart , RPG , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Law of Drama

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:46 UTC 2017

drama hypocrites Line Graph law - 6698543360 Source: xkcd Graph by: Unknown Tagged: drama , hypocrites , Line Graph , law Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Would You Like Another Basket?

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:45 UTC 2017

basket cheddar biscuits expensive food meal Pie Chart red lobster - 4543758848 Graph by: Nik Tagged: basket , cheddar biscuits , expensive , food , meal , Pie Chart , red lobster Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Teams the refs make bad calls on

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:42 UTC 2017

games referee sports teams - 1621390592 LoL by: boogoyle22 Tagged: games , referee , sports , teams Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Jean Cruelty Is Real

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:38 UTC 2017

jorts never no - 7776653312 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: jorts , never , no Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 15k For Hitting a Hipster on a Bike

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:37 UTC 2017

driving joggers Pie Chart points - 4753539584 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: driving , joggers , Pie Chart , points Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Only Winning Move…

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:36 UTC 2017

pie charts internet graphs funny politics - 4477087488 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pie charts , internet , graphs , funny , politics Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Occupy Dracula's Castle!

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:35 UTC 2017

best of week dracula Occupy Wall Street rich vampires - 5351569920 Graph by: (via Pleated-Jeans) Tagged: best of week , dracula , Occupy Wall Street , rich , vampires Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sorry, I Was Looking Up Recipes for My Party

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:27 UTC 2017

holiday Line Graph productivity weekend - 5302910976 Graph by: thaeryn Tagged: holiday , Line Graph , productivity , weekend Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Typical Villain

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:26 UTC 2017

best of week Harry Potter Pie Chart voldemort - 5433165312 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , Harry Potter , Pie Chart , voldemort Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Do You Suffer from Archive Fever?

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:25 UTC 2017

the internets comic flow chart - 7874037760 Submitted by: (via oliver bendorf) Tagged: the internets , comic , flow chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » World's Sky in One Day

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:24 UTC 2017

24 hours of Air Traffic in a few seconds Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: world , planes , traffic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Smart Phones Make Me Feel

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:23 UTC 2017

cell phones dead battery Line Graph smart phones - 6443064064 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: cell phones , dead battery , Line Graph , smart phones Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » DEATH TOLLS

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:22 UTC 2017

Bar Graph black plague count Death flu swine flu toll world war wwI WWII year - 2568505088 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , black plague , count , Death , flu , swine flu , toll , world war , wwI , WWII , year Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why I Prefer Spring and Fall

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:20 UTC 2017

cold day hot night seasons - 4994750720 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: cold , day , hot , night , seasons Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They Know

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:18 UTC 2017

Pie Chart spying subtle sunglasses - 5323240448 Why do people think they can get away with gawking just because they're wearing a pair of shades? I CAN STILL SEE YOU. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Pie Chart , spying , subtle , sunglasses Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Exam Night Anatomy

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:17 UTC 2017

studying anatomy school Line Graph exam night stress test college - 6791665920 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: studying , anatomy , school , Line Graph , exam night , stress , test , college Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How far back your seat tilts on an airplane

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:14 UTC 2017

airplanes guy recline seats tilts - 2389909248 Graph by: dothevu Tagged: airplanes , guy , recline , seats , tilts Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They Probably Hid You From Their Feed a Long Time Ago

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:13 UTC 2017

facebook hide status update caring no one - 6685064960 Graph by: zoesco Tagged: facebook , hide , status update , caring , no one Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Royal Trends

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:12 UTC 2017

George royal baby trend royal - 7693361152 Graph by: (via Meltwater) Tagged: George , royal baby , trend , royal Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Tears for Fears Knows What's Up

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:09 UTC 2017

rule the world tears for fears everybody - 7322537472 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: rule the world , tears for fears , everybody Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Where Do They All Come From?

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:08 UTC 2017

girlfriend hot girls Pie Chart temptations - 4872156928 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: girlfriend , hot girls , Pie Chart , temptations Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Gummy Grizzlies

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:07 UTC 2017

bears candy food infographic - 4644570112 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: bears , candy , food , infographic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Ugh, What Are We Feeding You?

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:06 UTC 2017

Bar Graph breath-holding cat smells bad swimming - 6536567040 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , breath-holding , cat , smells bad , swimming Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Just Missed the Most Epic Play, Ever

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:03 UTC 2017

bathroom epic football Pie Chart play sports - 5440533248 Graph by: RawrSlayer Tagged: bathroom , epic , football , Pie Chart , play , sports Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Look at It Splash!

Wednesday 4 October 7:29:00 UTC 2017

graphics Pie Chart video games water - 5252782848 Graph by: Sabbath_Ink Tagged: graphics , Pie Chart , video games , water Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From the atheier-than-thou files: "New Atheists are not atheist enough" [Strange]

Wednesday 4 October 7:09:38 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Southern Literature

Wednesday 4 October 6:52:20 UTC 2017

During Robert Falcon Scott’s first Antarctic expedition, 1901–04, Ernest Shackleton edited an illustrated magazine, the South Polar Times, to entertain the crew. Each issue consisted of a single typewritten copy that would circulate among up to 47 readers aboard the Discovery, Scott’s steam-powered barque, through each of two dark winters. Contributors would drop their anonymous essays, articles, and poems into … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Las Vegas Strip hotels Wynn and Encore begin checking guests' bags with metal detectors [Murica]

Wednesday 4 October 6:08:40 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When caught on the ground during the Vegas Massacre, the King of Instagram outed himself joining the Chickenhawk Brigade [Awkward]

Wednesday 4 October 5:58:25 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [170 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Does anyone know what the record is for number of DWI convictions? This man just got his 28th, and his mug shot seems to support the story [Dumbass]

Wednesday 4 October 4:30:33 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I have a sudden urge to go screwdriving (Not safe for work) [Giggity]

Wednesday 4 October 3:45:47 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hero? "I don't see myself that way. I would want someone to do the same for me. No one deserves to lose a life coming to a country festival" [Hero]

Wednesday 4 October 3:30:02 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » DC area police chief says officers should learn to drink and hire prostitutes [Silly]

Wednesday 4 October 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Equifax, the company that hired a music major with ZERO IT background as their CIO, has finally come clean on the root cause of their breech: "It was Carl from the Help Desk. He forgot to patch stuff" [Stupid]

Wednesday 4 October 2:17:12 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » People quickly notice something amiss with conference on feminism [Facepalm]

Wednesday 4 October 1:38:58 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Immigration and Customs Enforcement's new snitch line "VOICE" is very popular with people who secretly try to get their in-laws deported. A classic American win-win situation [Followup]

Wednesday 4 October 1:14:48 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Taylor Ham…Serious Business [Obvious]

Wednesday 4 October 1:03:46 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So many Vegas restaurants were donating food for emergency workers, victims and blood donors today, that one hospital had to start turning them away [Spiffy]

Wednesday 4 October 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Vegas gunman had a perfectly legal device called a "bump stock" which allows a semi automatic weapon to become fully automatic [Facepalm]

Wednesday 4 October 0:04:49 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [484 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man and his munificent beard [Photoshop]

Wednesday 4 October 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Archive

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