John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Writer apparently has a stroke while trying to disprove atheism [Strange]

Wednesday 27 September 23:54:09 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [173 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Washington Post submits headline to Fark, does not get approved, posts it on their own site in a fit of pique [Amusing]

Wednesday 27 September 23:49:55 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Boy who swallowed a Playmobil toy traffic cone has to have it surgically removed. Fark: 40 years later [Interesting]

Wednesday 27 September 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mother has affair with daughter's husband. Then it gets Florida [Florida]

Wednesday 27 September 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Contractors temporarily stop building prototype walls along the Mexican border because a construction worker fell down a 40 foot shaft [Facepalm]

Wednesday 27 September 21:20:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Forget lazy millennials, "Generation Z" is eager to buy houses and confident they'll be able to. So don't worry about the housing market, those 0- to 15-year-olds and their stellar financial planning have it covered [Unlikely]

Wednesday 27 September 21:08:23 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What would happen if a warehouse containing almost 190,000 tons of munitions exploded? It might look like this [Scary]

Wednesday 27 September 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California is the state with the most people looking for sex threesomes. Mostly because it's just too expensive for only two people to share an apartment (possible nsfw content on page) [Giggity]

Wednesday 27 September 20:20:04 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Unpatriotic disrespect of American traditions continues to spread when 1st grader takes the knee during class Pledge of Allegiance. Oh, Hell yeah, hilarity ensues [Florida]

Wednesday 27 September 20:14:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [409 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Some Enchanted Evening

Wednesday 27 September 20:00:07 UTC 2017

In 1993, reseachers Suzanna Rose and Irene Hanson Frieze asked 135 undergraduates to describe what had happened on their most recent first date: Women Men Groomed and dressed Picked up date Was nervous Met parents/roommates (Man:) Picked up date Left Introduced to parents, etc. Picked up friends (Man:) Courtly behavior (open doors) Confirm plans Left Talked, joked, laughed Confirm plans … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this tasty treat [Photoshop]

Wednesday 27 September 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The National Archives has until October 26 to disclose the remaining files related to JFK's 1963 assassination – including more than 3,000 that have never been seen by the public and more than 30,000 that have been previously, but with redactions

Wednesday 27 September 19:46:45 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Measles hasn't been spotted in the UK for three years [Spiffy]

Wednesday 27 September 19:20:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baby found with $5,500 and cell phone in Oklahoma. Baby refuses to answer questions, tries to grab officer's nose [Strange]

Wednesday 27 September 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Missouri bar owner wants you to know he's not as racist as his homemade doormat might make you think he is [Facepalm]

Wednesday 27 September 18:42:27 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [283 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mayor arrested for public intoxication on college campus, before he could go streaking across the quad to the gymnasium [Amusing]

Wednesday 27 September 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This year's trending Halloween costumes in the UK give you a choice between bad hair and worse hair (possible nsfw content on page) [Amusing]

Wednesday 27 September 17:54:45 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Had a long and stressful day? Why not relax and pet your dog on Woofday Wednesday? [Sappy]

Wednesday 27 September 17:45:52 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [196 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman arrested in killer clown cold case. In 1990, she dressed as a clown and killed the wife of her future husband. She would have gotten away with it if it weren't for the big floppy shoe imprint on the body [Strange]

Wednesday 27 September 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember when strategic analysts were saying war with NK was unlikely despite all the rhetoric because neither side was initiating any sort of troop or equipment movement? North Korea just initiated troop and equipment movement [Scary]

Wednesday 27 September 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [233 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man's execution halted due to juror who watched too much Chris Rock [Scary]

Wednesday 27 September 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Penthouse, my wife and I went to a swinger's party and you'll never believe what *VROOOM* *CRASH* [Weird]

Wednesday 27 September 15:46:44 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ducks found in park pond with bills zip-tied. If only they had some kind of supplemental insurance [Sick]

Wednesday 27 September 15:16:44 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "My son was racially bullied and turned into a meme by his classmates all because he wore a confederate sweatshirt to honor California's confederate heritage" [Fail]

Wednesday 27 September 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [416 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Origami butterflies with ominous "you are not safe" and "9-28-17" messages appearing in Seattle, causing concern. To be fair, the butterfly effect is unpredictable [Scary]

Wednesday 27 September 14:28:26 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The next innocuous thing that MAY KILL US ALL AND BRING ABOUT THE END OF CIVILIZATION FOR ALL TIME — the office kitchen coffee mug [Scary]

Wednesday 27 September 14:20:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [127 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Name That List, #42

Wednesday 27 September 13:40:56 UTC 2017

What is this a list of? The answer is below in extended.

Fuzzy Pumper Count Creepyhead & Friends Doctor Drill 'n FillPumper No. 9 Pinkie Pie Pretty Parlor Fix Me Up Doc Oddkins Barnyard PalsPress OutsHunny Pumper [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Labour MP who has clearly never seen an Apache helicopter claims Prince Harry can't actually fly them. "I've been told that's an absolute fact that somebody sits beside him and *drives* the helicopters for him." Dumbass tag explod

Wednesday 27 September 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this gravity-defying child [Photoshop]

Wednesday 27 September 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pretty soon the vodka in your screwdriver will be cheaper than the orange juice [Florida]

Wednesday 27 September 12:50:06 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you've been waiting for Steven Seagal to weigh in on the NFL knee protests before deciding where you stand, then today is finally that day [Dumbass]

Wednesday 27 September 12:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [233 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh, nothing. It's just that the elevator I'm in is flooding. At the World Trade Center. Why do you ask? [Scary]

Wednesday 27 September 11:51:43 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Swiss zoos are now accepting unwanted pets. But don't expect to go visit them [Sick]

Wednesday 27 September 11:19:28 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If Hurricane Harvey didn't kill you, the ensuing flesh-eating bacteria will [Scary]

Wednesday 27 September 10:50:51 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [25 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Dawn Langley Simmons

Wednesday 27 September 10:08:00 UTC 2017

I believe every word that Dawn Langley Simmons says.

Source. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ROUSes? I don't believe they exist [Creepy]

Wednesday 27 September 10:01:28 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Paul Horner, writer of fake news who said that Trump won the presidency because of him, apparently realized that Trump won the presidency because of him [Sad]

Wednesday 27 September 9:30:29 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [99 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » States In Which I Hear "Sweet Home Alabama" On The Radio.

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:52 UTC 2017

Alabama always bar chart Idaho Iowa maine never ohio radio Songs states sweet home alabama - 2553446912 Graph by: sm9sn1 Tagged: Alabama , always , bar chart , Idaho , Iowa , maine , never , ohio , radio , Songs , states , sweet home alabama Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People who hate Michael Phelps for his bong photo.

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:51 UTC 2017

20s archie bunker athletes bongs children dads dolores umbridge god little league Michael Phelps moms people TV - 1900044032 LoL by: tylerss20 Tagged: 20s , archie bunker , athletes , bongs , children , dads , dolores umbridge , god , little league , Michael Phelps , moms , people , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Handy Anglo-EU Translation Guide

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:50 UTC 2017

Chart language British - 7867568128 Graph by: rotten-sheep-of-evil Tagged: Chart , language , British Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Is That Cause Your Using Blood Flavored Floss?

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:49 UTC 2017

best of week Blood dentist flossing mint Pie Chart - 5441599232 Graph by: Coaster105 Tagged: best of week , Blood , dentist , flossing , mint , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Not Appeeling

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:47 UTC 2017

appealing citrus eyes orange peeling Pie Chart puns squirts - 4543195136 Graph by: DJMantis Tagged: appealing , citrus , eyes , orange , peeling , Pie Chart , puns , squirts Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Where your child will vomit

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:46 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 1627350784 LoL by: sah9193 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's in Narnia Now

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:45 UTC 2017

battery cell phone cracked drop narnia Pie Chart - 6249921024 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: battery , cell phone , cracked , drop , narnia , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Tripped So Hard That I Fell For Susan Glenn

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:44 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 6414704128 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Definitive Anatomy of a Bird

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:42 UTC 2017

anatomy bird definitive dumb - 6628597504 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: anatomy , bird , definitive , dumb Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Cycle of Sickness

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:41 UTC 2017

drinking cycle illness sickness depression health - 6766546176 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: drinking , cycle , illness , sickness , depression , health Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Life Sucks

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:40 UTC 2017

college jobs life sucks parents - 6594174720 Graph by: (via Jackie Taylr) Tagged: college , jobs , life sucks , parents Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Cats of the World

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:39 UTC 2017

world pets flags countries Cats - 6759668224 Submitted by: (via Zkotami) Tagged: world , pets , flags , countries , Cats Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things That Attract My Cat's Attention

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:38 UTC 2017

attention Cats eating food hand interest junk mine - 1769118464 LoL by: Artscrafter Tagged: attention , Cats , eating , food , hand , interest , junk , mine Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Must Strive to Become a Chuck

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:37 UTC 2017

chuck norris How People View Me science - 5094008320 Submitted by: tekrat Tagged: chuck norris , How People View Me , science Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Start of the Chrismas Season

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:36 UTC 2017

advent christmas eve fabric halloween january Line Graph merry christmas season september start stores thanskgiving year - 2888981760 Graph by: alagaesian Tagged: advent , christmas eve , fabric , halloween , january , Line Graph , merry christmas , season , september , start , stores , thanskgiving , year Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Uses of a laser pointer

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:32 UTC 2017

animals business Cats dogs laser work - 1784627968 LoL by: Tearz` Tagged: animals , business , Cats , dogs , laser , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Most Annoying Form of Travel

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:31 UTC 2017

Airplane Seating Chart airplanes best of week flying - 5411285504 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: Airplane Seating Chart , airplanes , best of week , flying Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Graph About Graphs About Graphs? Graph-ception

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:30 UTC 2017

Inception Pie Chart self referential yo dawg - 5912939776 Graph by: beanboy10 Tagged: Inception , Pie Chart , self referential , yo dawg Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Simple Graph

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:28 UTC 2017

awesome justin bieber no - 7330049792 Graph by: IWANTCUPCAKE Tagged: awesome , justin bieber , no Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: M.C. Escher Over Time

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:26 UTC 2017

Bar Graph mc escher - 7085927680 Graph by: bbrucker2 Tagged: Bar Graph , mc escher Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Navigating a Large Convention

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:25 UTC 2017

navigating convention day path - 6961626880 Graph by: kitteh_pleaz (via Columnfivemedia) Tagged: navigating , convention , day , path Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Somebody Buy That Man a Razor

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:22 UTC 2017

facial hair infographic mario moustaches nintendo - 4638541568 Graph by: Lolcat3500 Tagged: facial hair , infographic , mario , moustaches , nintendo Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Instant Leg Warmers!

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:21 UTC 2017

Bar Graph legs seasons shaving - 4808719104 Graph by: beeashleigh Tagged: Bar Graph , legs , seasons , shaving Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Hate Pyros

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:20 UTC 2017

Pie Chart team fort TF2 video games - 4932062208 Graph by: praetor_alpha Tagged: Pie Chart , team fort , TF2 , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » RIAA vs. The Pirate Bay

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:18 UTC 2017

piracy pirate bay Music Movie download ipod illegal money - 6669570048 Graph by: Anonymous User (via Cracked) Tagged: piracy , pirate bay , Music , Movie , download , ipod , illegal , money Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Please, We Can Work This Out!

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:17 UTC 2017

Pie Chart we need to talk relationships STDs fear - 5364965376 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Pie Chart , we need to talk , relationships , STDs , fear Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That's the Only Important Part

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:16 UTC 2017

drugs health class Pie Chart school - 5944271872 Graph by: lycoming Tagged: drugs , health class , Pie Chart , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Safe… This Time

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:15 UTC 2017

bathroom maniac pee Pie Chart - 5831468544 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bathroom , maniac , pee , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Proof That Women Are Evil!

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:14 UTC 2017

best of week equation evil math money time women - 5620724480 Graph by: Marushin Tagged: best of week , equation , evil , math , money , time , women Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Movie Is Piss-Poor

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:13 UTC 2017

Movie peeing Pie Chart poor thoughts - 4269208320 Graph by: Seanco999 Tagged: Movie , peeing , Pie Chart , poor , thoughts Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How sticky tape is

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:10 UTC 2017

fingers sticky tape - 2317291264 Graph by: Darren96r Tagged: fingers , sticky , tape Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » No, Mom, You Can't See My Facebook

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:09 UTC 2017

Awkward internet parents Pie Chart - 4792446976 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Awkward , internet , parents , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The On-Going, Unintentional Game of Hide and Seek

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:07 UTC 2017

find hide and seek venn diagram mom lost - 6888099840 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: find , hide and seek , venn diagram , mom , lost Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:04 UTC 2017

everyday im shufflin lmfao Party Rock Anthem Pie Chart - 6278222336 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: everyday im shufflin , lmfao , Party Rock Anthem , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Down the Hatch

Wednesday 27 September 8:42:03 UTC 2017

eating Inception movies shallow - 6619317504 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: eating , Inception , movies , shallow Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beer + Beer + Pot + Machete + Driving in the wrong lane = $10,000 bail and an appearance on Fark for your dumbass t-shirt [Dumbass]

Wednesday 27 September 8:16:28 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Intel unveils neuromorphic AI chip that mimics the human brain. It's out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dea

Wednesday 27 September 7:42:39 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gentleman, you can't fight in here. This is the Empathy Tent [Asinine]

Wednesday 27 September 6:11:12 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » For Short

Wednesday 27 September 6:03:56 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons According to Elsdon Smith’s 1967 Treasury of Name Lore, Gwendolyn Kuuleikailialohaopiilaniwailaukekoa~ Kekino had a birth certificate to prove her name. Her family called her Piikea. Albert K. Kahalekula of Wailuku, Hawaii, was a private in the Army in 1957. The K stood for Kahekilikuiikalewaokamehameha. Until Albert’s 29-letter middle name was registered, his brothers had the longest middle names … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Contractors begin building prototype walls along the Mexican border [Murica]

Wednesday 27 September 4:07:33 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anthony Weiner sexted ANOTHER girl and bragged his nose 'is so big that it hits the clit' [Amusing]

Wednesday 27 September 3:47:26 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're doing a heck of a job, Trumpy [Fail]

Wednesday 27 September 3:22:28 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study finds that one third of people told to evacuate during a natural disaster will become Fark headlines [Dumbass]

Wednesday 27 September 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One if he was standing. Two if he was sitting [Weird]

Wednesday 27 September 1:30:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No [Obvious]

Wednesday 27 September 1:19:39 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "It's just a little bit. I can throw it out," responds man to cop regarding his 3,100 pounds of skunky marijuana [Facepalm]

Wednesday 27 September 0:10:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these EOD divers [Photoshop]

Wednesday 27 September 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Archive

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