John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Twitter just doubled the chances that World War 3 will be started by a single tweet [Scary]

Tuesday 26 September 23:24:14 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » At the Greenpeace Prosthetic Whale Penis Factory

Tuesday 26 September 23:08:59 UTC 2017

Male coworker #1: Well, we played with it enough, it's not hanging out as much.
Male supervisor: Yeah, if you beat on it enough, eventually these things go in.
(uncomfortable silence)
Male supervisor: Do you think I could go see it?
Male coworker #2: Yeah, just make sure you don't pull on it! Richland, Washington Overheard by: I think they were talking about a server… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » North Korea: "We reserve the right to shoot down any American bombers we see." South Korea: "Actually, it doesn't appear that your radars saw them flying up your coast at all" [Followup]

Tuesday 26 September 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple arrested for having $1M worth of unicorns, melting faces, and mesmerizing kitchen tile [Silly]

Tuesday 26 September 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Was there a sale on flamethrowers? Because everyone seems to be VERY VERY ANGRY today. Well, I have 2 words for you: Bunny Lingerie. This link was brought to you by Classic Fark, when beer and boobies were more important than politics or even cats [G

Tuesday 26 September 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [264 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A teenage couple, 17 and 16, 'relaxing' at a popular lookout point, plunge down a 20-metre cliff in their 4WD – after someone grabbed the wrong stick shift [Scary]

Tuesday 26 September 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hurricane Maria is still a thing and she's laying mines on NC beaches [Scary]

Tuesday 26 September 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man named Eric killed by swarm of bees, presumably unlicensed [Sad]

Tuesday 26 September 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this spitfire [Photoshop]

Tuesday 26 September 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In 2016 more people were arrested for marijuana possession than for all crimes the FBI classifies as violent. Does everyone feel safer? [Asinine]

Tuesday 26 September 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Right after Our Mandatory Three PM Mani/Pedi

Tuesday 26 September 19:35:02 UTC 2017

Supervisor: Hey, we’re all here today… Let’s have a meeting!
Employee #1: About what?
Employee #2: American Idol! Financial center
New York, New York Overheard by: working hard [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Minneapolis' Dedicated German-American Sex Workers

Tuesday 26 September 19:35:01 UTC 2017

Office gal #1: Yeah, cause we usually have them all laid out: who we're gonna do, and when.
Office gal #2: We usually do them Tuesdays and Wednesdays, right Anne?
Office gal #1: Yeah, we do it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
Office gal #2: How many are there to do?
Office gal #1: Eight.
Office gal #2: So that's two each to do. Do we know who's … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But It Turns Out I Was Wrong

Tuesday 26 September 19:35:00 UTC 2017

Receptionist on phone in earshot of a client: She said that she told her manager, ‘I hate my fucking job.’ I told her that it was completely inappropriate to say ‘fuck’ at work. Austin, Texas [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …From His Adorable Little Mouse Car

Tuesday 26 September 19:34:59 UTC 2017

accounting rep: *screams and kicks away from her desk* did y'all see that shit! Stuart little got the audacity to sit on my desk and look at me! Fort Mill, SC [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Mom’s No Miracle Worker

Tuesday 26 September 19:34:58 UTC 2017

Mom, as toddler runs into doorway: Look out, Helen Keller! E Hadley Road
Indiana Overheard by: Amanda [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Um, This Is Chuck E. Cheese, Sir.

Tuesday 26 September 19:34:57 UTC 2017

Manager on phone: Making kids restaurant-friendly… Here's a tip, hire a babysitter. The number one problem with the housing bust is that instead of moving out of my hip, edgy neighborhood when they want to start a family, couples can't, so they breed in place, which totally inconveniences me. Dallas, Texas Overheard by: iheartmaps [Link]

Futility Closet » Syllogism

Tuesday 26 September 19:17:05 UTC 2017

All cats are mortal. Socrates is mortal. Therefore Socrates is a cat. — Ionesco, Rhinocéros [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news, everyone: Rapper B.o.B. has now raised enough money to conclusively prove that the Earth isn't flat [Amusing]

Tuesday 26 September 19:14:08 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Saudi Arabia decides to let women drive. Your dad submitted this with a tagline he stole from the 1970s [News]

Tuesday 26 September 19:13:04 UTC 2017

News [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nearly half the US is unaware that Puerto Ricans can just hop on a plane and fly to the mainland to relocate like any other US citizen [Obvious]

Tuesday 26 September 19:10:07 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [184 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baltimore doubles number of speed and red light camera systems, doubles profit. Submitter successfully installs red lights onto all of his headlines, waits for payout [Interesting]

Tuesday 26 September 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't ghost your significant other – it might come back to haunt you [Dumbass]

Tuesday 26 September 16:59:44 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [189 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British train operator wants people to stop leaving stuff on their trains after collecting 10,021 items during their first six weeks of operation. Shark, ironing board, barrister's wig, false teeth and leather chair – check, Paddington Bear – not

Tuesday 26 September 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drinking coffee could cause cancer, according to lawsuit. To be fair, not drinking coffee results in FIST OF RAGE [Scary]

Tuesday 26 September 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [88 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » My new book came out today!

Tuesday 26 September 15:21:27 UTC 2017

My new book came out today!If my dogs were a pair of middle-aged men is now available for purchase.View [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Detroit is back on top again, it was a hard struggle but with the cooperation of its residents, Detroit regains its top spot in the U.S. as a force to be reckoned with [Fail]

Tuesday 26 September 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [167 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So you've missed your connecting flight and have to stay overnight at the airport. Do you A: Try to get another flight? B: Grab a nearby hotel? or C: DANCE PARTY? (with video) [Amusing]

Tuesday 26 September 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FBI arrests 10 in NCAA basketball corruption sting. Duke sucks [News]

Tuesday 26 September 14:31:52 UTC 2017

News [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gay serial killer gets life for torturing victim to death in police-themed webcam sex session. If that doesn't get you reading then my name isn't Clickbait Clarence [Interesting]

Tuesday 26 September 14:20:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's largest uncut diamond sells for 6 Rhode Islands [Cool]

Tuesday 26 September 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And a salute to Johnny Appleseed, whose record for spreading seed stood for two centuries until recently broken by Antonio Cromartie [Spiffy]

Tuesday 26 September 13:20:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Photoshop Tennis Match: Desert edition [Photoshop]

Tuesday 26 September 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Limerick, a furious lover / Shot at his ex-girlfriend's mother / The miscreant fled / The woman's not dead / And don't panic – the manhunt is over [Sick]

Tuesday 26 September 12:50:03 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Army reservist owes thousands for court costs, bond after he was wrongfully arrested in burglary cases [Fail]

Tuesday 26 September 12:20:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [110 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The Love Machine

Tuesday 26 September 12:07:02 UTC 2017

Created in the late 1960s by Hollywood auto customizer George Barris, who's best known as the designer of the original Batmobile.

The Love Machine featured velvet upholstery, a revolving circular bed, psychedelic lights, entertainment console, mirrored ceiling, and a crystal chandelier. It did the rounds at auto shows until the mid-1970s, where it was promoted as the "world's first x-rated … [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Mystery Illustration 58

Tuesday 26 September 12:07:01 UTC 2017

What was the topic or theme of the article accompanying this illustration?

The answer is here.

And after the jump. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The good news is that there is only a very small chance that the parasitic sea lice infesting farmed salmon will ever make it to your dinner plate [Sick]

Tuesday 26 September 11:34:05 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The effects of Hurricane Maria on Puerto Rico in 2 pictures [Scary]

Tuesday 26 September 11:28:16 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Massive magnitude 1.5 earthquake felt 'right under people's feet' in New Jersey. No report of shoelaces becoming untied yet [Scary]

Tuesday 26 September 10:55:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » They Told Me It Only Happens after Sex with Boys

Tuesday 26 September 10:49:59 UTC 2017

Girl #1: I’m not pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh, good! I found out this weekend that I’m not pregnant, either. Boarding high school dorm
Beverly, Massachusetts Overheard by: Teacher in the hallway… like they were trying to go through this together? [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Whatever You Say, Santa

Tuesday 26 September 10:49:58 UTC 2017

Tech: I don't need a list. I am very rememberful. Pearl, Mississippi Overheard by: Brain Dancing [Link]

Overheard In The Office » My Moist Hands Will Be No Match for Their Dry Wit!

Tuesday 26 September 10:49:57 UTC 2017

Burly custodial guy, spotting hand lotion in office break room: Oooh, jasmine! (puts some on his hands) The boys are going to be laughing at me today! Seattle, Washington Overheard by: calgon, take me away [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Don't Count on It, Mate

Tuesday 26 September 10:49:56 UTC 2017

Male staff member: Yeah, but knowing my luck, it'll happen again when I'm not here!
Female staff member: It's okay. You're married now. You'll get lucky one day! Blockbuster
Australia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » That's What You Said About Carrot Top

Tuesday 26 September 10:49:55 UTC 2017

CFO, looking for chocolate: It looks like a goddess with flaming hair or an upside-down horse. Boston, Massachusetts Overheard by: Natalie [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And Photograph, As Needed.

Tuesday 26 September 10:49:54 UTC 2017

Female coworker to another female coworker: "if you've gotta pee, I'll watch." Raleigh, NC [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 1PM Lunch

Tuesday 26 September 10:49:53 UTC 2017

Co-worker #1: You should say this word [unintelligible] next time you have a curry.
Co-worker #2: What does it mean?
Co-worker #1: Just say it, then get ready to run.
Co-worker #2: What language is it?
Co-worker #1: You know what they all speak. Muslim. Shell Oil
Rig T/O S711
North Sea [Link]

GraphJam » My Food Senses Are Tingling

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:34 UTC 2017

cat food Pie Chart spidey sense - 5944060160 Graph by: ignus34 Tagged: cat , food , Pie Chart , spidey sense Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Self-Confidence Men vs. Women

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:31 UTC 2017

appearance Bar Graph confidence perception reality - 5560043008 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: appearance , Bar Graph , confidence , perception , reality Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But Our Princess Is In Another Castle

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:30 UTC 2017

Death infographic mario Super Mario bros video games - 4718255616 Graph by: Danieke (via bourgy.net) Tagged: Death , infographic , mario , Super Mario bros , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Methods of translating words from English to Spanish

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:29 UTC 2017

class dictionary english friend latin Pie Chart remember root spanish translating word - 3125177088 Graph by: DisSleeper Tagged: class , dictionary , english , friend , latin , Pie Chart , remember , root , spanish , translating , word Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » If You Move Fast Enough Maybe No One Will See

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:28 UTC 2017

front door Line Graph night time paranoid running xckd - 6297396992 Graph by: (via xkcd) Tagged: front door , Line Graph , night time , paranoid , running , xckd Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Soon Until We're Giving Them to Newborns?

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:26 UTC 2017

phones Bar Graph - 7127649024 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: phones , Bar Graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Had Me at Bacon

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:25 UTC 2017

bacon internet kevin bacon venn diagram - 6524622080 Graph by: roflcopterdefenceforce Tagged: bacon , internet , kevin bacon , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What World of Warcraft players desperately need

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:24 UTC 2017

boyfriend exercise girlfriend hobby mountain dew need Pie Chart sleep world of warcraft - 2369098496 Graph by: WalRoss Tagged: boyfriend , exercise , girlfriend , hobby , mountain dew , need , Pie Chart , sleep , world of warcraft Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Does Your NFL Team's Owner Rank?

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:21 UTC 2017

sports nfl owners football money - 7803764480 Click to see a bigger version of this graph and to read the article's detailed owner-by-owner breakdown. Submitted by: (via motherjones) Tagged: sports , nfl , owners , football , money Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Yeah, Cause That's Enough

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:20 UTC 2017

bathroom courtesy Pie Chart toilet paper - 4660038144 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bathroom , courtesy , Pie Chart , toilet paper Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Falling asleep VS. being woken up

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:19 UTC 2017

alarm annoying asleep impossible late simple sleep sleeping waking work - 2053864704 Graph by: breahali Tagged: alarm , annoying , asleep , impossible , late , simple , sleep , sleeping , waking , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Get an Umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:18 UTC 2017

Bar Graph life rain umbrella - 4592654080 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , life , rain , umbrella Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sounds Like You Need *Sunglasses* a Smoking Jacket, YEAHHHH!!!

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:17 UTC 2017

cold jacket Pie Chart quit smoking - 5811977472 Graph by: Jesterbwoy Tagged: cold , jacket , Pie Chart , quit , smoking Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Exactly. Wait, WTF??

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:16 UTC 2017

Bar Graph please stop poop - 7946143488 Graph by: Odieville2 Tagged: Bar Graph , please stop , poop Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » He Was Adopted?

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:13 UTC 2017

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: josh sundquist , rip , steve jobs , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who's Laughing Now, Pigs?

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:12 UTC 2017

angry birds physics Pie Chart pig video games - 5881572608 Graph by: LOLdogexpert Tagged: angry birds , physics , Pie Chart , pig , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Am Smaug

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:11 UTC 2017

dragons smaug smoking Pie Chart - 7034873344 Graph by: cbastedo Tagged: dragons , smaug , smoking , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Doggie Language

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:09 UTC 2017

best of week doggie emotions language - 6074231296 Graph by: (via Doggie Drawings) Tagged: best of week , doggie , emotions , language Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Which Is Worse?

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:08 UTC 2017

bus public transportation school worst - 6003838208 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: bus , public transportation , school , worst Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Road-Tripping with the Solar System

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:07 UTC 2017

planets characters road trip - 7751777792 Submitted by: (via The Gentlemans Armchair) Tagged: planets , characters , road trip Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't Act Like You Wouldn't

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:06 UTC 2017

best of week Pie Chart Star Trek - 5394654720 Graph by: (via The Oatmeal) Tagged: best of week , Pie Chart , Star Trek Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Strawberry isn't Even an Option

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:05 UTC 2017

drinks milk pie graph - 7909332992 Graph by: YakuzaDuragon Tagged: drinks , milk , pie graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Percent of Green and Red Lights While Driving

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:04 UTC 2017

Bar Graph driving early green late lights red traffic work - 2447195392 Graph by: KingMercury531 Tagged: Bar Graph , driving , early , green , late , lights , red , traffic , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Happen to Clothes I Got as Gifts that I Want to Return

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:03 UTC 2017

clothes gifts huge lazy lost mysterious receipt return stain - 3025853696 Graph by: gmoney19 Tagged: clothes , gifts , huge , lazy , lost , mysterious , receipt , return , stain Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Uses of Cotton Swabs

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:01 UTC 2017

cotton swabs graphs funny - 7457476864 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cotton swabs , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Can't Trust Anything On the Internet

Tuesday 26 September 10:11:00 UTC 2017

Bar Graph school trustworthy wikipedia - 5307936768 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , school , trustworthy , wikipedia Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Worse Than I Thought; He's Turned Into Lieberman

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:59 UTC 2017

politics lieberman snoopy Political Debate barack obama - 6643089920 Source: Bradmantv Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: politics , lieberman , snoopy , Political Debate , barack obama Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People Are the Worst

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:58 UTC 2017

group projects people Pie Chart school work - 4817470464 Graph by: loserfaceman Tagged: group projects , people , Pie Chart , school , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chipmunks 4: The Is-Anyone-Watching-This-Crap-quel?

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:57 UTC 2017

chipmunks movies venn diagram - 5620958464 Graph by: Iamsang1616 Tagged: chipmunks , movies , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Hard To Believe It's Only Been a Year

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:56 UTC 2017

christmas christmas tree lights Pie Chart spiders - 5572846336 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: christmas , christmas tree , lights , Pie Chart , spiders Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Diabetes Recipe: The 9 Way PBJHMN

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:55 UTC 2017

pbj diabetes nutella sandwich - 7670022400 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pbj , diabetes , nutella , sandwich Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Can't Explain That!

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:53 UTC 2017

apps basketball iphone video games you-cant-explain-that - 5565660416 Graph by: LHIGGY Tagged: apps , basketball , iphone , video games , you-cant-explain-that Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:52 UTC 2017

Pokémon - 4456527360 Graph by: HappyHereford Tagged: Pokémon Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Truth About "True Story"

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:51 UTC 2017

extra panel Pie Chart Rage Comics true story - 6626168576 Graph by: Rage_Machine Tagged: extra panel , Pie Chart , Rage Comics , true story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 50 Insane Driving Laws From Around The World

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:50 UTC 2017

world cars driving infographic - 7949427968 Graph by: Mark Porter (via www.barringtonfreight.co.uk) Tagged: world , cars , driving , infographic Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why I'm indecisive

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:49 UTC 2017

idk Pie Chart indecisiveness - 6739133952 Graph by: markot9 Tagged: idk , Pie Chart , indecisiveness Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Marriage is a Compromise, But Punctuality Isn't

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:48 UTC 2017

relationship time marriage venn diagram - 7862772224 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: relationship , time , marriage , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Downside of Amazing Graphics

Tuesday 26 September 10:10:47 UTC 2017

pie charts graphs video games funny acrophobia - 7560267776 Graph by: Echo_of_Snac Tagged: pie charts , graphs , video games , funny , acrophobia Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Mad Pooper of Colorado Springs has a spokesman. Then it gets weird [Followup]

Tuesday 26 September 10:09:16 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When you're Mark Zuckerberg you can't even pull up in a limousine to a cheesesteak shop in Philadelphia and order six cheesesteaks with Cheese Whiz and fried onions without igniting a culture war on social media [Obvious]

Tuesday 26 September 9:18:17 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [190 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If it ain't bent that way, keep pushing [Asinine]

Tuesday 26 September 8:41:16 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Hanging Out by the Water Cooler…

Tuesday 26 September 7:57:52 UTC 2017

Woman #1: So my phone rings at like 2 in the morning and I was sleeping, so now I’m fricken pissed that my phone is ringing at 2 in the morning. It’s one of my husbands friends and he says, “I need a place to stay, I just got kicked out of my house. My brother–” blah, blah, blah, blah. … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But With Better Healthcare

Tuesday 26 September 7:57:51 UTC 2017

Coworker #1, looking at map of Canadia: I find it interesting that 90% of the people in Canadia live within 100 miles of the US border.
Coworker #2: Yeah, they're like the white Mexicans. St. Louis, Missouri Overheard by: durp [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Let’s All Brush Up on Our Speakerphone Etiquette

Tuesday 26 September 7:57:50 UTC 2017

IT guy on phone: Be ready when I get home.
(clicks it to speakerphone)
IT guy’s wife: Well, that is fine but I did not put the butt plug in the freezer yet.
IT guy: (clicks speaker phone off) Hey! Sorry, I know you hate the speakerphone… Naval Base
Pensacola, Florida [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Ooooh, “Whores”.

Tuesday 26 September 7:57:49 UTC 2017

Secretary to boss: What? The legal department is corporate? Manhattan, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » The Colonel's Demon-Spawn Lives on in Michigan

Tuesday 26 September 7:57:48 UTC 2017

Admin on phone: …and the baby smelled like fried chicken! Grand Rapids, Michigan [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 1PM Lunch Break

Tuesday 26 September 7:57:47 UTC 2017

Co-worker #1: I heard that the wood plant is going to take a floating holiday and shut down for opening day of hunting season.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, kind of like IT’s unofficial holiday for opening day of Star Wars. 901 44th Street SE
Grand Rapids, Michigan [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Makes Me Grateful Just to Be Stupid

Tuesday 26 September 7:57:46 UTC 2017

Office lady: This girl that was in the Paralympics has 1.5 arms and no legs below the knee. She won 5 medals in the games, and is an engineer.
Office guy: What? Like on a train?
Office lady: No… For BC Hydro, duh! Vancouver
Canadia Overheard by: LJ [Link]

Overheard In The Office » My Career Is in Your Tiny Hands

Tuesday 26 September 7:57:45 UTC 2017

Navy commander to his three-year old who’s locked herself in the connecting bathroom again: Susie*, open this door at once! I command you! Visiting officer’s quarters, Tachikawa Air Force base
Tokyo
Japan [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …Don't You Ever Just Need Something to Suck On?

Tuesday 26 September 7:57:44 UTC 2017

Female coworker, raiding candy bowl on guys desk: How do you stay away from this candy all day?
Male coworker: I thought you were a nut girl.
Female coworker: I am, but sometimes I need my hard sweets. Little Rock, Arkansas [Link]

Overheard In The Office » They’re Hiring Santas Already?

Tuesday 26 September 7:57:43 UTC 2017

HR gal: …we’re looking to see if he killed anybody, that’s all. If he killed anybody, the deal’s off. 5900 Wilshire Blvd
Los Angeles, California [Link]

Futility Closet » “The Attack of Love”

Tuesday 26 September 6:56:32 UTC 2017

How a woman assails a man’s heart, by German map publisher Matthäus Seutter, 1730. Princeton map curator John Delaney explains: [F]orces are attacking and defending the fortress of Manhood that sits in a frozen, passionless sea. The side of Love, representing the fairer sex, employs four sets of artillery batteries (on the left) to bombard the walls with appeals to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The wedding was attended by 90 invitees and 200 extremely confused shoppers [Silly]

Tuesday 26 September 6:31:19 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just make it stop already [Sick]

Tuesday 26 September 5:20:19 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently to some in the PC crowd, it's now time to rewrite the Declaration of Independence so it's 'gender-neutral'. *rolls eyes* [Facepalm]

Tuesday 26 September 4:46:20 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [229 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Tim Horton's [Silly]

Tuesday 26 September 3:29:51 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Smokin' Ed looks to break another world record, ring of fire [Spiffy]

Tuesday 26 September 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California state dinosaur announces official California state dinosaur [Interesting]

Tuesday 26 September 2:20:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Proof that Rule 34 applies to everyone, even funeral directors [Sick]

Tuesday 26 September 1:50:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your cop uncle is out of town. Do you 1. Wear his uniform to impress your girl | 2. Take his patrol car and pull over people | Spoiler Alert: Both [Florida]

Tuesday 26 September 1:20:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Too pretty to go to prison. New hotness: Too bright to go to prison [Asinine]

Tuesday 26 September 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Accidentally scratch someone's parked car? An apology note, $40, and half a joint ought to make things right. Yes, it was Colorado [Amusing]

Tuesday 26 September 0:38:52 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Katie Quackenbush, the woman in Nashville who shot a homeless man from her Porsche, is the classic definition of country music struggle. She has a $2.5 million trust fund, is an $800-an-hour escort, and is seeking a reality TV show and music career (

Tuesday 26 September 0:37:46 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [221 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're running late for court, using fake police lights on your car while trafficking ecstasy and meth is a really bad idea [Dumbass]

Tuesday 26 September 0:20:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what Darth Vader is really watching/playing [Photoshop]

Tuesday 26 September 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [36 comments] [Link]

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