John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.” RSS » 79 years ago, New Englanders enjoyed the Caribbean experience. Subby's Grandmother never tired of relating stories of the damage [Scary]

Thursday 21 September 23:40:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [28 comments] [Link] RSS » Enough with all the lies, where did the phrase "liar liar pants on fire" really come from? [Interesting]

Thursday 21 September 23:13:25 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [46 comments] [Link] RSS » Today, from the Ric Romero Institute for consumer advocacy: "DIY cosmetic surgery can lead to disaster" [Obvious]

Thursday 21 September 22:46:45 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [18 comments] [Link] RSS » The times that Russia used nuclear bombs on themselves with mixed results [Interesting]

Thursday 21 September 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [38 comments] [Link] RSS » District attorney indicted for perjury during lover's divorce proceedings beats rap by marrying key witness against him [Asinine]

Thursday 21 September 22:01:53 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [39 comments] [Link] RSS » Godzilla falls out of sea bed, causes magnitude-6.1 earthquake off coast of Japan east of Fukushima. Fukushima nuclear plant wonders if he'll be coming for breakfast [Scary]

Thursday 21 September 21:40:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link] RSS » World's richest woman dies peacefully at home, moments before every vulture in her life starts killing each other to be the person to inherit it all [Sad]

Thursday 21 September 21:20:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [60 comments] [Link] RSS » "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. We'll be cruising at an altitude of five thousand feet, dropping bits of our exploding engine all over people's yards, and then landing again in short order" [Scary]

Thursday 21 September 21:07:12 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [49 comments] [Link] RSS » Alexa, send me all the crackers [Amusing]

Thursday 21 September 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [33 comments] [Link] RSS » Salute, the U.S. Marine Corps prepares to welcome the first female infantry officer [Hero]

Thursday 21 September 20:38:32 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Black and White

Thursday 21 September 20:26:57 UTC 2017

By Robert A. Lincoln. White to mate in two moves. SelectClick for Answer 1. Ka5! Kxa2 2. Kb4# [Link] RSS » 18-year-old Illinois man steals bulldozer, runs over squad car, leads police on chase and ends with a faceplant on the pavement. Tah Dah (with video suitable for Yakety Sax) [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 September 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [50 comments] [Link] RSS » Please do not pet the radioactive puppies of Chernobyl [PSA]

Thursday 21 September 20:12:48 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [47 comments] [Link] RSS » Photoshop this wild goose chase [Photoshop]

Thursday 21 September 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link] RSS » Happy 70th birthday, Stephen King [Cool]

Thursday 21 September 19:57:48 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [60 comments] [Link] RSS » Fake memorial pays tribute to fake news of 'Brooklyn Bridge Elephant Stampede of 1929' [Fake]

Thursday 21 September 19:42:48 UTC 2017

Fake [link] [24 comments] [Link] RSS » Your driver's license says SEX PREDATOR on it? There's a fix for that (with mugshot) [Florida]

Thursday 21 September 19:25:39 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [131 comments] [Link] RSS » Teacher of the Year none the wiser as middle schoolers launch real-life TorD thread [Florida]

Thursday 21 September 19:08:31 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [47 comments] [Link] RSS » Mattis hints at secret "kinetic" action against Best Korea. I'm pretty sure that's where you blow shiat up just by thinking it [News]

Thursday 21 September 19:06:50 UTC 2017

News [link] [364 comments] [Link] RSS » Fight over biscuit making job ends in disorderly conduct citations, in story which could only be more Southern if grits and incest were involved [Strange]

Thursday 21 September 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [47 comments] [Link] RSS » Head of Puerto Rico's Power Board on when residents could expect service back after Maria left the entire island without power: " it's a good time for dads to buy a glove and ball and change the way you entertain your children..cook on ga

Thursday 21 September 18:37:13 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [83 comments] [Link] RSS » Not going to work during a hurricane? That's a legal firing in a right-to-work state [Florida]

Thursday 21 September 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [138 comments] [Link] RSS » Death Wish Coffee recalled because the product might actually be true to its name [Scary]

Thursday 21 September 18:07:12 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [53 comments] [Link] RSS » Five things Virginia schools taught about slavery and the Civil War during the Confederate monuments boom. Yes, it's pretty much what you expect [Murica]

Thursday 21 September 17:37:13 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [169 comments] [Link] RSS » Lake Placid student brings loaded gun and knife to school. Placid, my ass [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 September 17:07:12 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [74 comments] [Link] RSS » How to survive the upcoming planetary collision this Saturday. Knowing there won't be a collision strangely absent [Amusing]

Thursday 21 September 16:38:32 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [145 comments] [Link] RSS » Suddenly, deer [Scary]

Thursday 21 September 16:05:54 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [151 comments] [Link] RSS » The staggering numbers behind Oktoberfest. Your move, St. Patrick's Day [Spiffy]

Thursday 21 September 15:44:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [85 comments] [Link] RSS » France may soon surrender to wolf-whistling ban [Interesting]

Thursday 21 September 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [96 comments] [Link] RSS » Arkansas teacher accused of having sex with teen will be played by Rick Moranis in the movie [Creepy]

Thursday 21 September 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [151 comments] [Link] RSS » Australia mails out gay marriage vote ballots with best bar code ever [Amusing]

Thursday 21 September 14:18:07 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [86 comments] [Link] RSS » SEC hacked. Big Ten and ACC unavailable for comment [PSA]

Thursday 21 September 13:43:50 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [52 comments] [Link] RSS » Photoshop this fall harvest [Photoshop]

Thursday 21 September 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link] RSS » You know how actors pretend to get shot in their bulletproof vests and pop right back up? A real police officer shows the ginormous bruise the bullet leaves behind when someone shoots your vest. (Possibly NSFW) [Scary]

Thursday 21 September 12:59:35 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [261 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » A Kookie Little Paradise

Thursday 21 September 12:56:13 UTC 2017

Since when did Tarzan inhabit the jungles of the Caribbean? [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The Exploding Recipe

Thursday 21 September 12:51:00 UTC 2017

May 1978: Random House issued a recall of a cookbook, Woman's Day Crockery Cuisine, after realizing that one of the recipes "could cause a serious explosion."

The recipe in question was for "Silky Caramel Slices." The problem was that it instructed people to heat an unopened can of condensed milk in a crockpot for four hours. A statement from Random … [Link] RSS » Narwhal tusk-smuggling ex-mountie gets 5 years in prison and becomes the name of my new garage band [Strange]

Thursday 21 September 12:29:35 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [25 comments] [Link] RSS » Fireball spotted over Alabama, in many glasses Tuesday night [Cool]

Thursday 21 September 12:16:58 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [24 comments] [Link] RSS » Christ, what a prick [Asinine]

Thursday 21 September 11:36:58 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [32 comments] [Link] RSS » "Hey Sheriff Joe, you just got pardoned by POTUS – what are you going to do next?" "I'm going to give an interview to a Holocaust denial website" [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 September 11:28:47 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [158 comments] [Link] RSS » You know you're hardcore when you film yourself burying your own heart [Weird]

Thursday 21 September 10:37:35 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [45 comments] [Link] RSS » After 40 years of planning and construction, your new canal project is finally at the eve of opening. What could possibly go wrong? [Fail]

Thursday 21 September 10:15:57 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [40 comments] [Link] RSS » "What? No GRAVY?" [Amusing]

Thursday 21 September 9:27:34 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [69 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Procrastination Pie Chart

Thursday 21 September 8:37:05 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3305219840 Graph by: f.u.b.a.r Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What happens when you get the fast shoes in Sonic the Hedgehog

Thursday 21 September 8:37:04 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3764444672 Graph by: Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Thursday 21 September 8:37:03 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3856745216 Graph by: iandobb Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What I do in nursing clinicals

Thursday 21 September 8:37:02 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 5406376448 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People Who Hate Tumblr

Thursday 21 September 8:37:01 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3765854720 Graph by: aaronvincible Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » One Minute

Thursday 21 September 8:37:00 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4889770240 Graph by: (via Go-Globe) Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why Conservatives Hate Obama

Thursday 21 September 8:36:59 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3551869184 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

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Thursday 21 September 8:36:58 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4560507392 Graph by: MattPurkis Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Thursday 21 September 8:36:57 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4872853504 Graph by: ironshredder Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What you do after you get the Fire Flower in Super Mario

Thursday 21 September 8:36:56 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4917301248 Graph by: Maboroshi Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Groundhog Day

Thursday 21 September 8:36:55 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4416774144 Aw, crap. Graph by: skadus Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why Rich People Dont Give Out Money

Thursday 21 September 8:36:54 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3502679296 Graph by: Fuey500 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things Candace does on Phineas + Ferb

Thursday 21 September 8:36:53 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 7497282560 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What cats claw at

Thursday 21 September 8:36:52 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3114238976 Graph by: remy Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Merging Dynamics

Thursday 21 September 8:36:51 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3594603776 Graph by: KevlarKitty Share on Facebook [Link]

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Thursday 21 September 8:36:50 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4154309632 Graph by: Sonic8222 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Thursday 21 September 8:36:49 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3911792896 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Successful bands Bands where the drummer is the most popular member Band Drummer Blink 182 Motley Crue

Thursday 21 September 8:36:48 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3821002240 Graph by: sfsteve15 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » New Graphs This is a public measage to all you wannabes out there. Please, find your OWM graph ideas.

Thursday 21 September 8:36:47 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3447406848 Graph by: 1208samantha Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How do I even start?

Thursday 21 September 8:36:46 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 6496571904 Comic by: (via Spiked Math) Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Thursday 21 September 8:36:45 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4050926336 Graph by: XileLord Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Who I See On The Subway

Thursday 21 September 8:36:44 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3455850752 Graph by: Shnorbatron Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Thursday 21 September 8:36:43 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 7111516672 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

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Thursday 21 September 8:36:42 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3914697984 Graph by: stephencanhazcheezburger Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Thursday 21 September 8:36:41 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4296121600 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The best of all subjects…

Thursday 21 September 8:36:40 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 6576378880 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

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Thursday 21 September 8:36:39 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4529686272 Graph by: EndingsWithoutStories Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Coding, using a SQL method

Thursday 21 September 8:36:38 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 8505225472 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Thursday 21 September 8:36:37 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3859031296 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Online adverts

Thursday 21 September 8:36:36 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3193996544 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Thursday 21 September 8:36:35 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4642657280 Graph by: Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Top Albums of 2012

Thursday 21 September 8:36:34 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 6955698176 Graph by: (via Information Is Beautiful) Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Thursday 21 September 8:36:33 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3937093888 Graph by: jruhlen Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What a Studio Audience Laughs at during a TV Sitcom

Thursday 21 September 8:36:32 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3138887936 Graph by: smoothmoves97 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Thursday 21 September 8:36:31 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4784137216 Submitted by: xyzpdq1 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time spent during the State of the Union

Thursday 21 September 8:36:30 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3166225920 Graph by: noahkoch Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The thoughts of pinhead from the hellraiser films.

Thursday 21 September 8:36:29 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3451009792 Graph by: lepresy Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Content of the articles aboutDennis Ritchie's death

Thursday 21 September 8:36:28 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 5310493952 Graph by: Bruttoformo Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When significant other asks for a bite of your food

Thursday 21 September 8:36:27 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3210593536 Graph by: Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Likelyhood of Over Pouring Wine

Thursday 21 September 8:36:26 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 8573037312 Graph by: 21329873 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things that are belong to us Your Base According to Lord Cats

Thursday 21 September 8:36:24 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3745052160 Graph by: Megaton Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things I Needed To Get Done Today Things I Did Today Laziness

Thursday 21 September 8:36:23 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3749716736 Graph by: rinskins Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Pain of braces over time

Thursday 21 September 8:36:22 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3576418048 Graph by: Baileymetal Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Thursday 21 September 8:36:21 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4475809280 Graph by: duobrowman Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Thursday 21 September 8:36:20 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4394779904 Graph by: slobaum Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My reaction to Chicken Vindaloo

Thursday 21 September 8:36:19 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3814668800 Graph by: Bestiary Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » There are actually GOOD things to eat in the house when….

Thursday 21 September 8:36:18 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3295432448 Graph by: Smilez520 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Thursday 21 September 8:36:17 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4873349376 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » leveling up in skyrim

Thursday 21 September 8:36:16 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 7351661568 Graph by: zairoga23 Share on Facebook [Link] RSS » Activists want a large ocean garbage patch to be named as a new country. Others say it's unnecessary to make a statement about trashy land masses because we already have New Jersey [Unlikely]

Thursday 21 September 8:11:57 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [47 comments] [Link] RSS » "Defendant did steal a thing of value to-wit: Hamburger," an officer wrote in the complaint [Facepalm]

Thursday 21 September 7:11:30 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The RNA Tie Club

Thursday 21 September 6:58:23 UTC 2017

In 1954, James Watson and George Gamow formed a “gentleman’s club” to “solve the riddle of the RNA structure and to understand how it built proteins.” There were 20 members, each of whom was designated by an amino acid: Member Training Tie Designation George Gamow Physicist ALA Alexander Rich Biochemist ARG Paul Doty Physical Chemist ASP Robert Ledley Mathematical Biophysicist … [Link] RSS » Controversial and generally unhinged former sheriff David Clarke threatens to rape reporter and his horse [Scary]

Thursday 21 September 6:53:30 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [131 comments] [Link] RSS » You've just boldly stolen some vodka. Do you drink some then cause a disturbance at the correctional centre? [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 September 5:46:30 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [16 comments] [Link] RSS » Iceland customs officials seize nearly 200 shipments of Melatonin, classified as an illegal drug there. Because no one needs naturally-occurring sleep inducing supplements in a country where it's 24/7 daylight for almost 6 months in a row [Stupid

Thursday 21 September 5:22:16 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [61 comments] [Link] RSS » Having beige fat can help you lose weight. Wearing beige can help you remain home alone on weekends [Interesting]

Thursday 21 September 4:28:31 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [33 comments] [Link] RSS » Prosecutors say Anthony Weiner deserves over two years in prison for having a minor strip naked and touch herself in video chats, but when pressed concede he does do a great Grumpy Cat impression [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 September 4:02:36 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [85 comments] [Link] RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 646: "Eclipses". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 21 September 4:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [70 comments] [Link] RSS » Good: Powerball winner says money won't change his heart. Bad: Pedophile [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 September 3:52:36 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [58 comments] [Link] RSS » Psychiatric exam ordered for Pharma Bro. Mental illness? Clever ploy to get him out of jail? Or is he just an a-hole? [Interesting]

Thursday 21 September 3:00:22 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [80 comments] [Link] RSS » With typical British understatement, UK police say the mysterious object that forced the closure of a major highway today was a trash bag full of "possibly hydrochloric acid" and they are "keeping an open mind as to how the object was lef

Thursday 21 September 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link] RSS » Meanwhile, in Australia the mosquitoes might be transmitting flesh-eating bacteria [Obvious]

Thursday 21 September 2:48:01 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [62 comments] [Link] RSS » American Academy of Pediatrics' first guidance document on tattoo and piercing safety to the left. Pictures of your saggy and wrinkled teenage regerts to the right [Interesting]

Thursday 21 September 1:56:25 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [70 comments] [Link] RSS » This Stanford professor's puckered starfish theory that "we are living in Peak A$hole" just might be on to something [Interesting]

Thursday 21 September 1:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [69 comments] [Link] RSS » Ontario suggests $10/gram as a baseline for legal pot sales next summer. Pearl-clutching will still be free, however [Spiffy]

Thursday 21 September 1:34:20 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [129 comments] [Link] RSS » French acting legend Gérard Depardieu is pretty sure the Pentagon may have created AIDS. That, and he's still in love with his BFF Vladimir Putin [Unlikely]

Thursday 21 September 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [34 comments] [Link] RSS » Activists demand that racist Native American tapestry be taken down. Pawnee city officials say that it's part of their history and it should remain up [Facepalm]

Thursday 21 September 0:48:25 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [58 comments] [Link] RSS » Facebook is very, very sorry they were caught selling ads to Nazis, racists, Russians, Slaanesh, the Thule Society, the World Crime League, the Dark Overlords of the Universe, Hydra, Thulsa Doom, and Lincoln F. Sternn, and promise not to do it again

Thursday 21 September 0:44:38 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [74 comments] [Link] RSS » St. Louis business owner speaking out after violence, threats, and harassment are thrown his way — by the St. Louis Police Department and its union [Asinine]

Thursday 21 September 0:41:29 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Initial Velocity

Thursday 21 September 0:27:31 UTC 2017

In 2008, University of Michigan psychologist Jesse Chandler and his colleagues examined donations to disaster relief after seven major hurricanes and found that a disproportionately large number of donations came from people who shared an initial with the hurricane (e.g., people named Kate and Kevin after Hurricane Katrina). It’s not clear why this is. It’s known that generally people attend … [Link] RSS » Photoshop this train operator [Photoshop]

Thursday 21 September 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]


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