John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » It's still illegal to dance in most bars and restaurants in New York City [Stupid]

Friday 15 September 23:38:04 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iceland's government collapses due to pedophile. Hmmm, must have been a load-bearing pervert [Repeat]

Friday 15 September 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You are a rich white boy that witnesses the Tube bombing and decide to tweet. Do you write: a) Hopes and Prayers b) Stay Strong c) This is why I don't take the Tube. Bonus hashtag; #therichdontdie [Dumbass]

Friday 15 September 22:43:02 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Iceland, you can get your civil rights, or "honor" restored after a conviction if three people are willing to write a letter vouching for you. But if you are a pedophile, and one of the letters is from the PM's dad, it might collapse a

Friday 15 September 22:08:45 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rare white giraffes have been spotted in Kenya. Well, they're not actually spotted [Interesting]

Friday 15 September 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The most boring article with the term "clitoral hood" you'll read all day [Giggity]

Friday 15 September 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this fire-breather [Photoshop]

Friday 15 September 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Researchers: "These bones unearthed in the 19th century are female." Reporters: "Viking warrior was a woman." Viking Historian: "Reporters are idiots" [Followup]

Friday 15 September 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [168 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British PM reaction to Trump's public guessing about London attack: "STFU Noob" [Followup]

Friday 15 September 19:13:33 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The deaf community in Manatee County, Florida may not have been adequately briefed on the impending hurricane, but they were definitely prepared for monsters and bears [Repeat]

Friday 15 September 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Cash and Carry

Friday 15 September 18:41:20 UTC 2017

During the London Gin Craze of the early 18th century, when the British government started running sting operations on petty gin sellers, someone invented a device called the “Puss-and-Mew” so that the buyer couldn’t identify the seller in court: The old Observation, that the English, though no great Inventors themselves, are the best Improvers of other Peoples Inventions, is verified … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman claims her boyfriend died by falling off a cliff while somehow managing to lose his clothes and get his throat slit on the way down before landing near spent candles and a live cat in a cage [Unlikely]

Friday 15 September 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The problem with getting cut out of your mom is your grammar sucks [Strange]

Friday 15 September 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Academics uncover 30 words 'lost' from English language such as CompUSA, Korvette's, A&P, Oldsmobile, GeoCities [Interesting]

Friday 15 September 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple busted for filming themselves having sex in public library definitely looks like they have a librarian fetish [Sick]

Friday 15 September 17:16:44 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NC mom invents a spray she guarantees will attract any Bigfoot within a mile and a half. Also guaranteed to attract Loch Ness monsters, chupacabras, unicorns, jackalopes and leprechauns [Unlikely]

Friday 15 September 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Aspen police: Don't take selfies with bears [Facepalm]

Friday 15 September 16:43:24 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Are cats liquid or solid? How does holding a crocodile influence gambling? Does playing the didgeridoo cure snoring? They were among the things honored at the Ig Nobel Prize spoof awards [Amusing]

Friday 15 September 16:16:44 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After weeks of delays for fears of riots, cop acquitted of murder. Judge said cop's use of personal firearm and yelling "I'm going to kill this motherfarker" was ambiguous and not indicative of intent [Facepalm]

Friday 15 September 16:10:44 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [327 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » R.I.P. Nutmeg the Tabby…World's oldest cat dies at the age of 32 (that's 144 in cat years) of heart failure. At least he lived a long good life and was spoiled rotten [Sad]

Friday 15 September 15:46:45 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [161 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You like whiskey, you like coffee, this is the best whiskey to put in your coffee [Spiffy]

Friday 15 September 15:14:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One of those "hot cops" from Hurricane Irma is, according to his Facebook history, an anti-Semite. There's always something [Followup]

Friday 15 September 14:41:54 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [148 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know how Hurricane Jose wasn't supposed to be an issue for the U.S.? Yeah, about that [Interesting]

Friday 15 September 14:14:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Low on "gas" and its orbit decaying, the command was given and the Cassini Probe went out like a boss, swan-diving into the atmosphere of Saturn. At 7:55 AM signal was lost for the last time, ending its planned 13-year mission that began in 1

Friday 15 September 13:55:45 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [173 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge: Who should be on a box of Wheaties [Photoshop]

Friday 15 September 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [53 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Wasabi Smoke Alarm

Friday 15 September 12:29:04 UTC 2017

Fire alarms for the deaf typically involve strobe lights or vibration (such as a vibrating bed or pillow to wake a sleeper). But over in Japan, a few years back, researchers invented an alarm that sprayed the smell of Wasabi into the air. Tests revealed it could wake sleepers within two minutes.

The researchers also tested the smells of banana, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's come to this: Police officer sues claiming he can't get a promotion because he's white [Facepalm]

Friday 15 September 12:19:32 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [303 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Los Angeles County Fair had judges awarding blue ribbons to hogs and cows inside, while a California DMV sting sent bogus handicap placard owners to see the judge outside [Murica]

Friday 15 September 11:41:46 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [143 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man finds out too late that his wife is into butt stuff [Asinine]

Friday 15 September 11:20:05 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Motel 6 employees will no longer get the ICE for every Hispanic guest [Followup]

Friday 15 September 10:08:43 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [158 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists invent method to give children autism with a single injection [Cool]

Friday 15 September 9:46:33 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [51 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Roadside America Miniature Village

Friday 15 September 9:40:00 UTC 2017

Their Wikipedia page.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yo moms, I heard you like mom jeans [Strange]

Friday 15 September 9:19:32 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Explosion reported in London tube carriage [News]

Friday 15 September 8:41:38 UTC 2017

News [link] [238 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who rides their jet skis over a humpback whale? Honestly [Asinine]

Friday 15 September 8:12:32 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Infected Hairball, only coincidentally the name of my Def Leppard cover band, kills British teen [Sick]

Friday 15 September 7:40:43 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [41 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Online Gaming vs. Online Dating

Friday 15 September 7:36:34 UTC 2017

gaming gamers relationships video games infographic online dating - 6795796736 Source: Online University Graph by: (via Daily Infographic ) Tagged: gaming , gamers , relationships , video games , infographic , online dating Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You're Listening to KSHA

Friday 15 September 7:36:32 UTC 2017

all-keha-all-the-time annoying hatred keha Pie Chart radio Songs - 4282598400 Graph by: bobicool Tagged: all-keha-all-the-time , annoying , hatred , keha , Pie Chart , radio , Songs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Venusaur, Is That You?

Friday 15 September 7:36:31 UTC 2017

dinosaur Pokémon raptors tall grass venn diagram - 4685240576 Graph by: -PYRO- Tagged: dinosaur , Pokémon , raptors , tall grass , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Honey Sutra

Friday 15 September 7:36:30 UTC 2017

sutra Ruined Childhood teddy bears honey sticky - 6701615616 Vermont Teddy Bears getting a lil sticky! Submitted by: Josh Kernoff Tagged: sutra , Ruined Childhood , teddy bears , honey , sticky Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Broseph Central High School

Friday 15 September 7:36:29 UTC 2017

Pie Chart school dbags - 7931631872 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Pie Chart , school , dbags Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Fake Ass Rapper, or Just Fake Ass?

Friday 15 September 7:36:28 UTC 2017

fake hip hop Music nicki minaj Pie Chart plastic posterior - 5988962560 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: fake , hip hop , Music , nicki minaj , Pie Chart , plastic , posterior Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: Gotta Catch 'em All!

Friday 15 September 7:36:25 UTC 2017

gotta catch em all Pie Chart Pokémon science universe - 5908168960 If the multiverse theory is true, then there is an infinitely close to 100% chance that Pokemon do exist somewhere in the multiverse, and that all the Pokemon masters must find it! Graph by: TeslaCOILSandKITTEHZareEPIC Tagged: gotta catch em all , Pie Chart , Pokémon , science , universe Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Incidentally, That's a Great Movie Title

Friday 15 September 7:36:24 UTC 2017

batteries cell phones dead battery Death movies Pie Chart thrillers zombie - 3999480576 Graph by: manci5 Tagged: batteries , cell phones , dead battery , Death , movies , Pie Chart , thrillers , zombie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Risky Business

Friday 15 September 7:36:23 UTC 2017

risk quit board games pie graph - 7682142208 Graph by: GISTPodcast Tagged: risk , quit , board games , pie graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Win This Round

Friday 15 September 7:36:22 UTC 2017

fly pests Pie Chart - 5285730048 Graph by: Annie6599 Tagged: fly , pests , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]


GraphJam » You + Me = Love 5Ever

Friday 15 September 7:36:21 UTC 2017

3 <3 5ever best of week equation love math relationships - 6345847552 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: 3 , <3 , 5ever , best of week , equation , love , math , relationships Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You're Welcome

Friday 15 September 7:36:20 UTC 2017

tie knot - 7067369728 Submitted by: Emi_Chan Tagged: tie , knot Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: Old Yeller, NOOOO!!

Friday 15 September 7:36:19 UTC 2017

animals crying movies old yeller Pie Chart - 6492432128 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: animals , crying , movies , old yeller , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » LOL, Dongs

Friday 15 September 7:36:18 UTC 2017

doodles kids graphs funny - 4456490240 Graph by: Tagged: doodles , kids , graphs , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When my cat sleeps on me

Friday 15 September 7:36:14 UTC 2017

attention cat games halo pets sleep xbox - 1392483584 LoL by: ArkX Tagged: attention , cat , games , halo , pets , sleep , xbox Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When It Comes to Tests

Friday 15 September 7:36:13 UTC 2017

know school tests venn diagram - 6090339584 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: know , school , tests , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things That Solve Problems vs. Success Rate of Said Things

Friday 15 September 7:36:12 UTC 2017

arguement problem situational success - 1493741312 LoL by: JayThwack Tagged: arguement , problem , situational , success Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Now You Ski Me, Now You Don't

Friday 15 September 7:36:11 UTC 2017

ninja Pie Chart robber ski mask - 5863192576 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: ninja , Pie Chart , robber , ski mask Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » In a Frosty Mug

Friday 15 September 7:36:08 UTC 2017

rootbeer venn diagram - 7147847936 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: rootbeer , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Number One China Dragon Lucky Garden 16

Friday 15 September 7:36:04 UTC 2017

buffet full chinese - 7769018368 Graph by: Nymm Tagged: buffet , full , chinese Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » See Also: People with Only One Friend

Friday 15 September 7:36:02 UTC 2017

friends gardeners hauling pickup trucks Pie Chart rednecks seats - 4520220416 Graph by: bobjohnson110 Tagged: friends , gardeners , hauling , pickup trucks , Pie Chart , rednecks , seats Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » All Things Halloween in Graphs and Charts

Friday 15 September 7:36:01 UTC 2017

Chart halloween infographic holidays hallowmeme g rated - 7874467072 Submitted by: (via the gentlemans armchair) Tagged: Chart , halloween , infographic , holidays , hallowmeme , g rated Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Born in Minnesota, 50% Resistance to frost

Friday 15 September 7:35:59 UTC 2017

best of week elder scrolls map Maps morrowind Skyrim united states - 5553631232 Graph by: Leonidas8879 Tagged: best of week , elder scrolls , map , Maps , morrowind , Skyrim , united states Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hatzoned

Friday 15 September 7:35:58 UTC 2017

fashion fadora Chart internet hats - 7846632704 Graph by: TheCrossRoss Tagged: fashion , fadora , Chart , internet , hats Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A toddler's favorite words

Friday 15 September 7:35:57 UTC 2017

child favorite no Pie Chart swear words toddler words - 3168112128 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: child , favorite , no , Pie Chart , swear words , toddler , words Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Darth Obvious

Friday 15 September 7:35:56 UTC 2017

darth vader evil flow chart lightsaber obvious red star wars - 4413012480 Graph by: Evertide Tagged: darth vader , evil , flow chart , lightsaber , obvious , red , star wars Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Bros Icing Selves

Friday 15 September 7:35:55 UTC 2017

air hockey bros goal icing Pie Chart ricochets - 4262336256 Graph by: DrUNIX Tagged: air hockey , bros , goal , icing , Pie Chart , ricochets Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Best of All Time Universe Worlds

Friday 15 September 7:35:54 UTC 2017

Supernatural venn diagram doctor who Sherlock science fiction television - 7977239040 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Supernatural , venn diagram , doctor who , Sherlock , science fiction , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't Worry, She Thinks You're Adorable

Friday 15 September 7:35:52 UTC 2017

grandmother impress looking cool Pie Chart - 5142121984 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: grandmother , impress , looking cool , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wheel of College

Friday 15 September 7:35:50 UTC 2017

college debt wheel of fortune - 5954991872 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: college , debt , wheel of fortune Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chance You Will Return To That Dream You Were Just Having

Friday 15 September 7:35:48 UTC 2017

au natural Bar Graph Blood dreams flying nightmare return sexy shopping terror ultimate work - 2669583872 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: au natural , Bar Graph , Blood , dreams , flying , nightmare , return , sexy , shopping , terror , ultimate , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How a Government Gets a Job Done

Friday 15 September 7:35:47 UTC 2017

dictatorship ethically futuristic generations hike insane late novel science fiction tax tyranny venn diagram - 2816080384 Graph by: emanedoc1 Tagged: dictatorship , ethically , futuristic , generations , hike , insane , late , novel , science fiction , tax , tyranny , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Star Trek Characters and Roles

Friday 15 September 7:35:46 UTC 2017

TV roles characters Star Trek - 6905989376 Graph by: (via Chartgeek) Tagged: TV , roles , characters , Star Trek Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Giant pen is dragged across Utah [Silly]

Friday 15 September 7:10:32 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Worth a Try

Friday 15 September 6:46:21 UTC 2017

Image: Wikipedia The gravestone of John Renie, a 19th-century house painter, at St. Mary’s Priory Church in Monmouth, Wales, is a 285-letter acrostic puzzle — from the central H the sentence “Here lies John Renie” can be traced out (in king’s moves) in 45,760 different ways. Renie probably carved it himself; according to cleric Lionel Fanthorpe, he hoped it would occupy … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Child pornographer found guilty. Fark: He's a 17-year-old who sent out his own dick pics [Asinine]

Friday 15 September 6:32:25 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nagoya officially named most boring city in Japan. Miffed mayor's complaints to Prime Minister fall upon dozing ears, and comedians employ the Nagoya dialect as "the default accent of humiliation" [Obvious]

Friday 15 September 5:21:11 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey, wondering how you can reach more "Jew haters" with your advertising? Facebook is here to help [Sick]

Friday 15 September 5:20:37 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [133 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kentucky man has truck stolen by US border patrol enforcing Mexican laws [Asinine]

Friday 15 September 5:20:30 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Giving away DNA collection kits at a Ravens game is a good thing because it will allow fans to see their genetics. It isn't a DNA databank linked to your name or anything at all [Obvious]

Friday 15 September 4:18:28 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two-year-old police dog can sniff out hidden child porn faster than Jared Fogle can eat a sub [Interesting]

Friday 15 September 3:35:03 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [97 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » More stolen lampposts

Friday 15 September 3:34:00 UTC 2017

Phideaux draws our attention to yet another attempt at stealing lampposts by strapping them to the roof of a car. In Florida, this time. A month ago it was the Netherlands.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Local police: Come see our maths and our braveries for battling remoteness and humidity as we eradicate this jungle of marijuana. Public: Dude, that's wild hemp. Local authorities: Quick… Shut up, delete the post, release the crickets [Fail]

Friday 15 September 2:50:03 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What ever happened to the "don't tase me, bro" guy? Here's what he's doing 10 years on [Amusing]

Friday 15 September 2:19:03 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Discovering that the KKK may have donated $1,000 to the University in 1921, UVA is donating that amount, adjusted for inflation, to a fund set up to pay the medical expenses of victims of Neo-Nazi violence during the Charlottesville riot [Spiffy]

Friday 15 September 2:15:46 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida airports may not be back to normal for days, meaning it will be quite some time before we once again have half-naked Florida Men screaming incoherently and being tasered in Terminal A [Florida]

Friday 15 September 1:41:29 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In an effort to prove Hurricane Irma can't stop him, Florida Man goes to Massachusetts with no pants and a sex toy [Florida]

Friday 15 September 1:40:03 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actually, we can't call the Equifax breach the "worst ever" because, you know, we still don't know how big it is and, actually, "ever" means forever and that hasn't happened yet so, actually, there could be a worse one lat

Friday 15 September 1:20:49 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » All powerful people leave a legacy behind them, and notorious drug lord Pablo Escobar was no different. His hippos live on [Strange]

Friday 15 September 1:07:12 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dairy plant accidentally turns creek into skim milk [Sick]

Friday 15 September 0:32:55 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not News: Fake bomb threats cause evacuations. News: Hundreds of coordinated threats, causing almost 100,000 to be evacuated. Fark: In Russia [Interesting]

Friday 15 September 0:29:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever wonder why you won't find a 7- Eleven store in Alabama? Here's the reason anyway [Interesting]

Friday 15 September 0:13:02 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop whatever the heck is going on here [Photoshop]

Friday 15 September 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Archive

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