John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Tampa Bay residents should feel reassured that should a category 4 or 5 hurricane strike, they're pretty much just expected to become chum [Florida]

Friday 1 September 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Did the Russians elect a new pope? [Strange]

Friday 1 September 23:30:40 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thanks for your patience. Here's your obligatory Friday evening explosive news thread [NewsFlash]

Friday 1 September 23:17:39 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [164 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Great Lakes fish dosed with antidepressants may stop caring about predators, but at least they're happy food [Interesting]

Friday 1 September 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Black and White

Friday 1 September 20:22:58 UTC 2017

By Augusto Piccinini. Imagine that the board is a vertical cylinder, that is, that the a-file and the h-file are joined so that pieces can move across the border. How can White mate Black in two moves? SelectClick for Answer 1. a5! leaves the black king with no moves. Black must move the pawn, whereupon White captures it, giving mate. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tyler Perry donates $250K to Joel Osteen. In other news, Joel Osteen orders five new suits [Obvious]

Friday 1 September 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [174 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop someone who is bad at their job [Photoshop]

Friday 1 September 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Think your heavily regulated city would have fared better than footloose and fancy free Houston? Let's superimpose the rain data and see [Interesting]

Friday 1 September 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [208 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Refuse to take blood from an unconscious patient without a warrant? You better believe that's a out-of-control arrestin'. Bonus: the victim RN was an Olympian [Repeat]

Friday 1 September 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [216 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If convicted the accused will be given a lifetime ban on the possession of airsoft guns [Asinine]

Friday 1 September 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Krispy Kreme announces a one-day only sale of pumpkin spice flavored frosting [Strange]

Friday 1 September 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hostilities between the U.S. and North Korea reach an all-time high after North Korea challenges the U.S. to a dance off [Weird]

Friday 1 September 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The most dangerous sex positions. EVERYBODY ahh ooh PANIC [Scary]

Friday 1 September 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [198 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The police officer who reassured the scared, white, female motorist that "we only shoot black people" has retired [Followup]

Friday 1 September 16:50:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [214 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As you most surely know, Queen Elizabeth owns many of the swans in England. So what do you do if you're 5 years old and want one to keep in the tub? You write to the queen, of course [Spiffy]

Friday 1 September 16:20:06 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Running naked through a hotel and threatening staff with scissors is no way to live your retirement, Grandma and Grandpa [Fail]

Friday 1 September 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » But it was the note the suspect allegedly handed to the teller – reading "This is a robbery, give me 5,000 nobody gets shot." – "The opposite side of the note appeared to be a payroll stub," the warrant says [Dumbass]

Friday 1 September 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oklahoma representative claims massive cuts to education spending are "fake news," only needed three tries to spell it correctly [Facepalm]

Friday 1 September 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teen charged after viral video shows her using an aerosol can and lighter to shoot flames at her dog. Your dog wants Nomex [Asinine]

Friday 1 September 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you've ever wondered what cows think of swans, here's your answer [Fail]

Friday 1 September 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Lament

Friday 1 September 13:03:51 UTC 2017

i'm tired of being a zero vector i'm tired of being a zero vector with no direction no dimension and no magnitude; what i need is another element — but that would be a contradiction of my definition — Eileen Tupaz, a student at Ateneo University, Quezon City, Philippines, in Crux Mathematicorum 26:6 (June 2000), 337 [Link]

Weird Universe » Misunderstood Probability

Friday 1 September 13:01:15 UTC 2017

I'm guessing the 50/50 chance didn't go in his favor.

Marion Star – Dec 28, 1995 [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man with too much time on his hands [Photoshop]

Friday 1 September 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kenya's Supreme Court declares election null and void…Wait a minute, ours or theirs? [Interesting]

Friday 1 September 12:25:09 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Dear Penthouse, I used to think a threesome with your wife and the babysitter only took place in the movies. Until it happened to me' [Sick]

Friday 1 September 12:18:22 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Harvey snuffs the world's ability to addictively huff ethylene gas [Obvious]

Friday 1 September 12:03:53 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You remember the white guy who opened fire on a crowd at Charlottesville and was arrested several days later? Yeah, turns out he's Imperial Wizard of the Confederate White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. This is my shocked face [Followup]

Friday 1 September 11:25:13 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [270 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man plays piano in his waist-deep flooded home. Get ready for the waterworks [Sappy]

Friday 1 September 11:24:54 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We're nowhere near prepared for the ecological disaster that Harvey is becoming [Scary]

Friday 1 September 10:30:22 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [164 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » World Famous Tree House

Friday 1 September 9:30:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

GraphJam » Read It, if You Have the Constitution

Friday 1 September 8:13:09 UTC 2017

america best of week halloween Maps scary states - 5336190976 Graph by: stewtopia (via pleated-jeans.com) Tagged: america , best of week , halloween , Maps , scary , states Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: People Are Just Jerks

Friday 1 September 8:13:07 UTC 2017

jerks life people Pie Chart - 5604805120 Especially you. You know what you did. Graph by: eatatdans Tagged: jerks , life , people , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's the Family Apocalypse!

Friday 1 September 8:13:06 UTC 2017

alcohol christmas equation family survival whisky - 4288121856 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: alcohol , christmas , equation , family , survival , whisky Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Guys Are the Best!

Friday 1 September 8:13:04 UTC 2017

annoying friend best best of week friends venn diagram - 6323541760 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: annoying friend , best , best of week , friends , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My Next Vehicle

Friday 1 September 8:13:03 UTC 2017

cadillac gangsters old men pimps venn diagram - 4655258368 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: cadillac , gangsters , old men , pimps , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » If You Needed Another Reason to Love a Good Beard

Friday 1 September 8:13:01 UTC 2017

venn diagram beard itch sophistication - 6675221504 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: venn diagram , beard , itch , sophistication Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Christmas gifts breakdown

Friday 1 September 8:13:00 UTC 2017

christmas gifts holiday Songs - 1484754688 LoL by: r1ch4rd Tagged: christmas , gifts , holiday , Songs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Trying to Write

Friday 1 September 8:12:59 UTC 2017

venn diagram writing - 7140516608 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: venn diagram , writing Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Like Coffee? Then Major in a Field That Drinks a Lot of It!

Friday 1 September 8:12:58 UTC 2017

wtf jobs coffee funny - 7899741952 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: wtf , jobs , coffee , funny Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Cause I Try, and I Try, and I Try

Friday 1 September 8:12:57 UTC 2017

Line Graph mick jagger rolling stones satisfaction - 5758573824 Graph by: philgoodwin Tagged: Line Graph , mick jagger , rolling stones , satisfaction Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Un-Holy Union

Friday 1 September 8:12:56 UTC 2017

Y U NO Pokémon pikachu memeception - 7675299072 Graph by: Shedletcarkle Tagged: Y U NO , Pokémon , pikachu , memeception Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Pay and Get Played

Friday 1 September 8:12:53 UTC 2017

buying movies paying Pirate - 5101968896 Graph by: Epicluce Tagged: buying , movies , paying , Pirate Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Laws of Thermodymeowics

Friday 1 September 8:12:52 UTC 2017

Cats food pets science venn diagram - 4656191744 Graph by: Sosij Tagged: Cats , food , pets , science , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Love You!

Friday 1 September 8:12:51 UTC 2017

calculator heart math - 4806115328 Graph by: (via Think Geek) Tagged: calculator , heart , math Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wheel of Fortune

Friday 1 September 8:12:50 UTC 2017

TV vanna white wheel of fortune - 1425507584 LoL by: Bengal_Tigger Tagged: TV , vanna white , wheel of fortune Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » She Did Not Say That!

Friday 1 September 8:12:49 UTC 2017

annoying jokes phrases thats what she said venn diagram - 4903403776 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: annoying , jokes , phrases , thats what she said , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Every Time

Friday 1 September 8:12:48 UTC 2017

frustrating Guitar Hero Pie Chart rock band video games - 4699564800 Graph by: Trollface987 Tagged: frustrating , Guitar Hero , Pie Chart , rock band , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What you do when the batteries for the TV remote die.

Friday 1 September 8:12:46 UTC 2017

batteries buttons channel die manual Pie Chart press remote control TV work - 3189294848 Graph by: JasonBourne Tagged: batteries , buttons , channel , die , manual , Pie Chart , press , remote control , TV , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Right in the Childhood

Friday 1 September 8:12:45 UTC 2017

brazzers Memes Pie Chart self referential - 6575154432 Graph by: boynedmaster Tagged: brazzers , Memes , Pie Chart , self referential Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not Pictured: Trolling in Movie Theaters

Friday 1 September 8:12:44 UTC 2017

laser laser pointer pet toy Pie Chart red dot - 4729288192 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: laser , laser pointer , pet toy , Pie Chart , red dot Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Use of the Semicolon

Friday 1 September 8:12:42 UTC 2017

pie charts semicolon tldr - 5244589568 Graph by: jertyuiop Tagged: pie charts , semicolon , tldr Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons to own a Roomba

Friday 1 September 8:12:41 UTC 2017

animals Cats clean floor love owners roomba technology vacuums - 2054432512 Graph by: dzseb Tagged: animals , Cats , clean , floor , love , owners , roomba , technology , vacuums Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Can We Please Stop Playing This Song

Friday 1 September 8:12:40 UTC 2017

guitar one direction oasis song wonderwall flow chart - 6893929728 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: guitar , one direction , oasis , song , wonderwall , flow chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Mesa Marty McFly

Friday 1 September 8:12:39 UTC 2017

back to the future hoverboard jar jar binks marty mcfly Pie Chart star wars - 4329843968 Graph by: Shondells Tagged: back to the future , hoverboard , jar jar binks , marty mcfly , Pie Chart , star wars Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Height Vs. Time On Trampoline

Friday 1 September 8:12:38 UTC 2017

height time trampoline - 1508355328 LoL by: undeadhouseplant Tagged: height , time , trampoline Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Goin Down!

Friday 1 September 8:12:37 UTC 2017

explosions helicopters movies Pie Chart - 5591376640 Graph by: dirtyshark Tagged: explosions , helicopters , movies , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: It's All Caffeine to Me

Friday 1 September 8:12:35 UTC 2017

coffee drinks espresso - 4987019520 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: coffee , drinks , espresso Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Uses of Their/There/They're By People 12-20 online

Friday 1 September 8:12:34 UTC 2017

computers internet language spelling their there theyre - 2014094080 Graph by: crazycrayons Tagged: computers , internet , language , spelling , their , there , theyre Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Consequences of Gays Adopting

Friday 1 September 8:12:33 UTC 2017

adoption america consequences fashion gays god love sexuality - 3684285440 Consequences of Gays Adopting Graph by: albertiam Tagged: adoption , america , consequences , fashion , gays , god , love , sexuality Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Kentucky Residents

Friday 1 September 8:12:32 UTC 2017

america i reckon kentucky Maps percentage state - 4577531904 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: america , i reckon , kentucky , Maps , percentage , state Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Or, They Sign Off

Friday 1 September 8:12:31 UTC 2017

aim instant messaging oh ok Pie Chart typing wordiness - 4243385088 Graph by: ohaiivan Tagged: aim , instant messaging , oh ok , Pie Chart , typing , wordiness Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Contents of my iPod

Friday 1 September 8:12:30 UTC 2017

ipod mp3s Music technology - 1715115776 LoL by: Immortal_Penguin Tagged: ipod , mp3s , Music , technology Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Now It'll Be Stuck in My Head All Day

Friday 1 September 8:12:29 UTC 2017

Music bar graphs daft punk graphs funny g rated - 4477514752 Graph by: dunc237 Tagged: Music , bar graphs , daft punk , graphs , funny , g rated Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » A Rainbow of Fun

Friday 1 September 8:12:28 UTC 2017

kids mixing Pie Chart play-doh rainbow - 6474338048 Graph by: ruyvaert Tagged: kids , mixing , Pie Chart , play-doh , rainbow Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 5 Burgers If You Agree!!!1!1

Friday 1 September 8:12:25 UTC 2017

burgers comments jokes oh-come-on-dont-vote-1-burger-out-of-spite Pie Chart yes i am aware they are graphs and not burgers youtube - 4434208512 Graph by: Erazer Tagged: burgers , comments , jokes , oh-come-on-dont-vote-1-burger-out-o~ , Pie Chart , yes i am aware they are graphs and not burgers , youtube Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Looks About Right

Friday 1 September 8:12:24 UTC 2017

best of week prejudice thats-racist - 6048608256 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , prejudice , thats-racist Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Forever Negative

Friday 1 September 8:12:23 UTC 2017

Bar Graph forever alone negative whatdoestheinternetthink - 5992040192 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , forever alone , negative , whatdoestheinternetthink Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Girls: A Chart

Friday 1 September 8:12:22 UTC 2017

venn diagram girls in your dreams - 6975335936 Graph by: jaymanvea Tagged: venn diagram , girls , in your dreams Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Let's All Be Clear About This

Friday 1 September 8:12:20 UTC 2017

ashamed lies truth stories BS - 7739966976 "Really? I had no idea that you're friends with a space fire-fighter who once sold Brad Pitt a donut in Cabo." Graph by: Brian Tagged: ashamed , lies , truth , stories , BS Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cat that survived Brooklyn blaze that killed its owner finds new home, new delicious owners [Scary]

Friday 1 September 8:05:02 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Of course, stealing a $250,000 stamp collection has no better justification than the owner's a "mean" woman [Florida]

Friday 1 September 5:32:15 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A nurse following a policy the hospital lawyers and police department agreed to regarding blood draws? You better bet that's an arrest. Hero tag is for the nurse [Hero]

Friday 1 September 4:52:14 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [403 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some see a man selflessly giving shelter to those in need. Subby sees a man who knows how much money is going to be spent on new furniture in Houston in the coming months [Followup]

Friday 1 September 3:49:56 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds". Wait, what KIND of snow? And why is this kid asking me for $2? [Dumbass]

Friday 1 September 3:31:29 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sure, we coulda BOOM set those backup generators higher but the BOOM cost was high and the risk was low BOOM [Fail]

Friday 1 September 3:20:19 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can jump into the ocean to outrun the cops, but the sharks will find you. And so will the cops [Dumbass]

Friday 1 September 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman accused of shoplifting jumps in her car and flees the scene. Unfortunately for her, she leaves something important behind [Dumbass]

Friday 1 September 1:30:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So I called Chick-Fil-A and ordered two grilled chicken burritos, extra egg and a boat [Cool]

Friday 1 September 1:10:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yo, Harvey, I'm really happy for you, and Irma let you finish [Scary]

Friday 1 September 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wolverine aids in testing contaminated Belmont tap water. Well, yeah, that guy recovers from anything [Misc]

Friday 1 September 0:10:04 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this male mail box [Photoshop]

Friday 1 September 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

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