Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » "Poland is not defining Europe's future today and nor will it define the Europe of tomorrow" says leader of Western European country who has always been defining Europe's future [Asinine]

Friday 25 August 23:59:31 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » America's best-prepared disaster response planning organization belongs to A) FEMA, B) Red Cross, or C) Waffle House. In other news, "Waffle House Jump Team" is the name of my Bloodhound Gang cover band [Cool]

Friday 25 August 23:56:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Your 8-year-old son has just found what appears to be a gun in a dressing room. The best thing to do is A) leave it where it is and report it to the store manager, B) take it to the nearest counter, or C) pull the trigger to see if it's real [Dum

Friday 25 August 23:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » In 1960, 19 Yale students were told to have a seat over there. Now the then 14-year-old speaks out [Creepy]

Friday 25 August 23:47:02 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Trump signs military transgender ban [NewsFlash]

Friday 25 August 23:20:25 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Perhaps you've been hesitant to use a porta potty at a music festival, but then you would be missing out on a secret rave that could only be entered through one of the units [Strange]

Friday 25 August 23:20:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » This just in: Millennials have found a new way to waste time [Silly]

Friday 25 August 22:54:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Wanna watch Harvey live as it happens? Here are 8 cams to choose from [Cool]

Friday 25 August 22:16:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » MLB "Players Weekend" allows for nicknames on the back of jerseys. FARK: Danny Farquhar is nicknamed after his favorite website [Amusing]

Friday 25 August 21:46:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Girlfriend turns down your proposal? Yep, that's a punchin' [Facepalm]

Friday 25 August 21:16:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Priest: I suck at poker and it's God's fault. I know, I'll collect child porn to get revenge [Dumbass]

Friday 25 August 20:20:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this chandelier [Photoshop]

Friday 25 August 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Escalating Powers

Friday 25 August 19:19:33 UTC 2017

$\displaystyle 1 + 5 + 10 + 24 + 28 + 42 + 47 + 51 = 2 + 3 + 12 + 21 + 31 + 40 + 49 + 50\newline 1^{2} + 5^{2} + 10^{2} + 24^{2} + 28^{2} + 42^{2} + 47^{2} + 51^{2} = 2^{2} + 3^{2} + 12^{2} + 21^{2} + 31^{2} + 40^{2} + 49^{2} + 50^{2}\newline 1^{3} + 5^{3} + 10^{3} + 24^{3} + 28^{3} + 42^{3} + 47^{3} + 51^{3} = 2^{3} + 3^{3} + 12^{3} + 21^{3} + 31^{3} + 40^{3} + 49^{3} + 50^{3}\newline 1^{4} + 5^{4} + 10^{4} + 24^{4} + 28^{4} + 42^{4} + 47^{4} + 51^{4} = 2^{4} + 3^{4} + 12^{4} + 21^{4} + 31^{4} + 40^{4} + 49^{4} + 50^{4}\newline 1^{5} + 5^{5} + 10^{5} + 24^{5} + 28^{5} + 42^{5} + 47^{5} + 51^{5} = 2^{5} + 3^{5} + 12^{5} + 21^{5} + 31^{5} + 40^{5} + 49^{5} + 50^{5}\newline 1^{6} + 5^{6} + 10^{6} + 24^{6} + 28^{6} + 42^{6} + 47^{6} + 51^{6} = 2^{6} + 3^{6} + 12^{6} + 21^{6} + 31^{6} + 40^{6} + 49^{6} + 50^{6}\newline 1^{7} + 5^{7} + 10^{7} + 24^{7} + 28^{7} + 42^{7} + 47^{7} + 51^{7} = 2^{7} + 3^{7} + 12^{7} + 21^{7} + 31^{7} + 40^{7} + 49^{7} + 50^{7}$ [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oblivious Houston dump truck driver gives Mother Nature a head start on Hurricane Harvey [Dumbass]

Friday 25 August 17:47:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "(J)ust because I am a mortician by trade don't mean I don't do anything els(e) . .." would be a great name for a clinic that specializes in circumcisions by a 23-year old bag-piper named Josh [Fail]

Friday 25 August 16:15:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Okay, quick, make a headline with "high speed chase" "Hummer" and "casket" [Facepalm]

Friday 25 August 14:50:05 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Civilization

Friday 25 August 14:21:29 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Butter Coffee

Friday 25 August 13:10:00 UTC 2017

I posted five years ago about Norwegian Egg Coffee. But egg isn't the only unusual thing that people add to their coffee. A few years ago, there was a fad for butter coffee, aka Bulletproof Coffee. As the name implies, you mix butter into your coffee. People often add in some coconut oil as well. Apparently the butter binds with … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this orange organism [Photoshop]

Friday 25 August 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Huge, horny spiders are setting off burglar alarms in homes as they desperately search for mates [Scary]

Friday 25 August 12:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » One of America's few remaining drive-in movie theaters is closing to make room for condos. Your new mid-century vision of Americana will now be stacked cages for humans. As far as the eye can see. How Rockwellian [Murica]

Friday 25 August 12:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » What to Expect During an Ambulance Ride. I'm going to go with 'pain' [Facepalm]

Friday 25 August 11:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Like an invisible rabbit of destruction, Harvey hits Category 2, the first potential landfall hurricane in Texas since 2008 is making life dangerous. Stay safe, Farkers, and check in here. It's your Hurricane Harvey Discussion Thread, Day 2 [Live

Friday 25 August 11:27:55 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Even though the girl was crossing a street in a crosswalk, in a school zone, with signs posted all over the place saying that pedestrians have right of way, the media can't get over the fact that she was hit by a car while using her smartphone [S

Friday 25 August 10:52:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » I'm sure its just some unfortunate, unintended, unforeseen consequence, but, imports of Russian lumber have jumped 42% this year after Trump slapped a massive tariff on imports of Canadian softwood lumber [Obvious]

Friday 25 August 10:37:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Hi, we'd like to continue funding your weird science mumbo jumbo, but per the President, we'll need you to scrub the terms "climate change" and "global warming" from your proposals. That'd be great. Thanks in advance [Face

Friday 25 August 10:29:02 UTC 2017

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GraphJam » Excitement Of English Fans

Friday 25 August 9:37:38 UTC 2017

england excitement fans football soccer world cup years - 3654352640 Excitement Of English Fans Graph by: justasmalltowngirl Tagged: england , excitement , fans , football , soccer , world cup , years Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Confidence in Understanding Spanish Vs. Who's Speaking it

Friday 25 August 9:37:36 UTC 2017

class Line Graph Movie native spanish speakers speaking television understanding - 3067017984 Graph by: Tagged: class , Line Graph , Movie , native , spanish , speakers , speaking , television , understanding Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Hawai'i Is Disappoint

Friday 25 August 9:37:35 UTC 2017

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: continent , math , Video , wtf Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Overburdened Again!?

Friday 25 August 9:37:34 UTC 2017

all the things burden Pie Chart Skyrim video games - 5649297664 Graph by: kazek24 Tagged: all the things , burden , Pie Chart , Skyrim , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » We Just Want Different Things

Friday 25 August 9:37:33 UTC 2017

break up couples truth venn diagram - 5282723072 What lame excuses do you give? Graph by: avallach Tagged: break up , couples , truth , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When You Should Start Dating According To

Friday 25 August 9:37:32 UTC 2017

age Bar Graph dating disney channel never parents school start - 2609070336 Graph by: Spartan004 Tagged: age , Bar Graph , dating , disney channel , never , parents , school , start Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Only Grandmas

Friday 25 August 9:37:30 UTC 2017

grandma internet explorer - 7236061440 Graph by: landsharky53 Tagged: grandma , internet explorer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wait, That's Not What Going Out Means?

Friday 25 August 9:37:29 UTC 2017

dating going steady kids these days Pie Chart - 4710682368 Graph by: Yarfaroni Tagged: dating , going steady , kids these days , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Run For Your Life

Friday 25 August 9:37:28 UTC 2017

creeper creepus explodus minecraft - 4964156928 Graph by: sizzldat (via www.jinx.com) Tagged: creeper , creepus explodus , minecraft Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Don't Understand, I Will Die Without Youtube!

Friday 25 August 9:37:27 UTC 2017

Bar Graph best of week internet interwebs politics teenagers teens youtube - 5445395968 Graph by: beckehz Tagged: Bar Graph , best of week , internet , interwebs , politics , teenagers , teens , youtube Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Playas Gon' Play

Friday 25 August 9:37:26 UTC 2017

2000s 3lw Bar Graph haters players Songs - 4608346880 Graph by: JustinPants Tagged: 2000s , 3lw , Bar Graph , haters , players , Songs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Holy Venn Diagrams!

Friday 25 August 9:37:25 UTC 2017

bat batman venn diagram woman Wombat - 6366791680 Submitted by: (via Stephen Wildish) Tagged: bat , batman , venn diagram , woman , Wombat Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Batman Is a Genius

Friday 25 August 9:37:24 UTC 2017

batman genius gadgets - 5210820352 Graph by: ilovesuperheros7 Tagged: batman , genius , gadgets Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Retail: The customer is always

Friday 25 August 9:37:23 UTC 2017

asshole customers retail right work - 2498827520 Graph by: KingTomburger Tagged: asshole , customers , retail , right , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » No Overlap? There Must Be a Mistake

Friday 25 August 9:37:22 UTC 2017

stuffed crust pizza hot dog dignity venn diagram food - 6943107584 Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: stuffed crust pizza , hot dog , dignity , venn diagram , food Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Where does knowledge of bankruptcy come from

Friday 25 August 9:37:21 UTC 2017

advertising bankruptcy game shows knowledge research TV wheel of fortune - 2226467072 Graph by: Psycho5275 Tagged: advertising , bankruptcy , game shows , knowledge , research , TV , wheel of fortune Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just Face It

Friday 25 August 9:37:20 UTC 2017

best of week flow chart Okay okay face problems - 5505350144 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , flow chart , Okay , okay face , problems Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » the school course paradox

Friday 25 August 9:37:19 UTC 2017

boring classes course difficult easy interesting look looking open paradox school spot terrible transcript venn diagram - 2739749632 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: boring , classes , course , difficult , easy , interesting , look , looking , open , paradox , school , spot , terrible , transcript , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Where trolls really live

Friday 25 August 9:37:18 UTC 2017

bridges mothers the internet trolls - 3650509824 Where trolls really live Graph by: bbozic Tagged: bridges , mothers , the internet , trolls Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But; People Use Them Wrong

Friday 25 August 9:37:17 UTC 2017

; colons grammar Pie Chart semi-colons smarter spelling - 4262152448 Graph by: jellidoenut Tagged: ; , colons , grammar , Pie Chart , semi-colons , smarter , spelling Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 10 Songs in Graph Form

Friday 25 August 9:37:16 UTC 2017

Songs Music list - 19461 A collection of 10 graphed songs for your listening… I mean, viewing pleasure. Comes with some bonus tracks at the end! Graph by: Tagged: Songs , Music , list Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How I Know the Geography of Europe

Friday 25 August 9:37:15 UTC 2017

europe total war graphs funny Maps - 7438537472 Graph by: justAwatermelon Tagged: europe , total war , graphs , funny , Maps Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Love You Too, Turd Burglar

Friday 25 August 9:37:14 UTC 2017

humor insult Pie Chart relationships rude - 4719644160 Graph by: Kid.Congo Tagged: humor , insult , Pie Chart , relationships , rude Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Challenges of being a radiology tech

Friday 25 August 9:37:13 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 8822426112 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Time Spent Outside in the Snow by Age

Friday 25 August 9:37:11 UTC 2017

age outside snow winter - 1451987200 LoL by: Unknown Tagged: age , outside , snow , winter Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Classic: So Good, So Good, So Good!

Friday 25 August 9:37:10 UTC 2017

lyrics Pie Chart Songs sweet caroline - 5155618560 Graph by: TheDonutMaster Tagged: lyrics , Pie Chart , Songs , sweet caroline Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When will I reach position No.1 on Dells Customer Service Phoneline

Friday 25 August 9:37:09 UTC 2017

call center customer service Dell hang up phone calls - 2128130816 Graph by: gemsie Tagged: call center , customer service , Dell , hang up , phone calls Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Always When You Haven't Saved For Three Hours

Friday 25 August 9:37:08 UTC 2017

computer crash homework saved - 5440016128 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: computer , crash , homework , saved Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Which Really Came First?

Friday 25 August 9:37:07 UTC 2017

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: chicken , which came first , egg , science , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Forever Unemployed

Friday 25 August 9:37:05 UTC 2017

job hunting funny unemployed - 7432842496 Graph by: daveosaurus Tagged: job , hunting , funny , unemployed Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Shrinking Real Estate and Rising Responsibility

Friday 25 August 9:37:04 UTC 2017

desk server paper - 7768253184 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: desk , server , paper Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Mircowave Problem

Friday 25 August 9:37:03 UTC 2017

Popcorn food microwave - 6968660736 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Popcorn , food , microwave Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Your Mom's Mouth…

Friday 25 August 9:37:02 UTC 2017

innuendo Pie Chart sexual teenagers your mom - 4706972928 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: innuendo , Pie Chart , sexual , teenagers , your mom Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » All Legal as Far as I Know

Friday 25 August 9:37:01 UTC 2017

Oprah Winfrey Lance Armstrong performance enhancers Pie Chart - 6983557120 Graph by: markot9 Tagged: Oprah Winfrey , Lance Armstrong , performance enhancers , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Use It To Make My Own Fursona

Friday 25 August 9:37:00 UTC 2017

elder scrolls furries khajiit Skyrim video games - 5475782144 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: elder scrolls , furries , khajiit , Skyrim , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Usefulness of Vuvuzela after the world cup.

Friday 25 August 9:36:59 UTC 2017

beer soccer vuvuzelas world cup - 3718918656 Usefulness of Vuvuzela after the world cup Graph by: arthur.154 Tagged: beer , soccer , vuvuzelas , world cup Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The TSA Makes So Much Sense

Friday 25 August 9:36:58 UTC 2017

plane items TSA - 7319599616 Graph by: swolfearch (via SW Specific Thought) Tagged: plane , items , TSA Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Colorblind Friendly?

Friday 25 August 9:36:57 UTC 2017

color friend good graphjam graphs - 1712293632 LoL by: colburbe Tagged: color , friend , good , graphjam , graphs Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Nine Layer Density Tower

Friday 25 August 9:36:56 UTC 2017

density awesome liquids tower layers - 6655742208 Source: Youtube Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: density , awesome , liquids , tower , layers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Mars Has Tall Mountans

Friday 25 August 9:36:55 UTC 2017

mountains science mount everest olympus mons Mars - 7984677120 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: mountains , science , mount everest , olympus mons , Mars Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » At Least It's Not on the Floor

Friday 25 August 9:36:54 UTC 2017

pants pee joke peeing on the floor Pie Chart urinal - 5639412224 Graph by: TraNE577 Tagged: pants , pee joke , peeing on the floor , Pie Chart , urinal Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Even Right Now

Friday 25 August 9:36:52 UTC 2017

spiders arachnophobia Pie Chart - 6678508800 Graph by: (via Sleepdraw) Tagged: spiders , arachnophobia , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sorry, It Needs to Be More Prettier

Friday 25 August 9:36:51 UTC 2017

art class creativity Pie Chart school teachers - 5916821760 Graph by: obsidianz Tagged: art class , creativity , Pie Chart , school , teachers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Walter White is Not Know For His Optimism

Friday 25 August 9:36:50 UTC 2017

breaking bad television - 7824686848 Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: breaking bad , television Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Infinite Loop

Friday 25 August 9:36:49 UTC 2017

loop love life flow chart - 7747643904 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: loop , love life , flow chart Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who posted on social media that he can't wait to drive his truck through a crowd of Trump protesters: "I'm being made into a horrible person over a joke that was just meant to ruffle some feathers" [Dumbass]

Friday 25 August 9:33:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Spies (not) Like Us [Awkward]

Friday 25 August 9:11:59 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Four U.S. servicemen assigned to Vice President Pence's protection detail have been removed because they brought women back to their Panama hotel. Who do they think they are, the Secret Service? [Facepalm]

Friday 25 August 8:57:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Girl Scouts accuse Boy Scouts of trying to undercut their organization through a "covert campaign to recruit girls." That, and give them cooties [Interesting]

Friday 25 August 6:11:34 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » While the debate rages over what to do with Confederate monuments, there's one person still collecting a Civil War pension to this very day [Weird]

Friday 25 August 5:30:20 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Bad news, fellow Farkers: None of us qualify for the Chinese military [Amusing]

Friday 25 August 4:50:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Not News: Two black men post a picture of themselves with luxury shopping bags on a bench in Italy. News: Picture goes viral, Italians rail about "lazy immigrants mooching off of the state." Fark: Said men are Samuel L Jackson and Magic Johns

Friday 25 August 3:45:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Thanks to climate change, a tanker was able to sail through the Arctic without an icebreaker for the first time – 30% quicker than via the southern route, saving fuel and reducing its carbon footprint in the process, helping to counter climate change

Friday 25 August 3:32:39 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you thought that the latest crossword puzzle in the Boise Weekly was impossible, you're not alone [Fail]

Friday 25 August 2:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Aetna notifies 12,000 patients by mail that their HIV medication are going to be changed. Fark: With the letters "HIV" visible from the envelope window. Remember folks, it's spelled HIPAA, not HIPPO [Fail]

Friday 25 August 2:20:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Headline "Even the dumbest Us Weekly headlines look great in New Yorker font". Submitted in Comic Sans MS [Stupid]

Friday 25 August 1:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Newark unveils roving 'job mobile' to match residents with new companies, disappoint people who read the sign too quickly [Unlikely]

Friday 25 August 1:23:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » This is why standing outside to film a lightning storm is a dicey proposition [Scary]

Friday 25 August 1:15:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » 71-year-old woman is considerate enough to leave her dashcam running while she goes out for a round of drunk driving [Fail]

Friday 25 August 1:01:59 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Law and Ordure

Friday 25 August 0:50:31 UTC 2017

Image: Flickr Chicago artist Jerzy Kenar put up this bronze statue in front of his East Village home as a gentle reminder: “I hoped it would motivate dog owners to pick up after their pets.” When the water’s running it looks even more realistic than this. But both mayor Richard M. Daley and Father Michael Pfleger, pastor of St. Sabina Church, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Starting Monday free range organic tofu nuggets at Whole Foodazon.com will be dropping from $15.99lb to $15.97 [Cool]

Friday 25 August 0:31:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Court rules Facebook friends aren't real friends. Tom from Myspace still wants to be your BFF though [Interesting]

Friday 25 August 0:20:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If Mexico is going to pay for the border wall, why is Trump threatening to shut down the government if Congress won't fund it? [Amusing]

Friday 25 August 0:15:41 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons