John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Woman miserable due to disorder that keeps her constantly sexually aroused [Sad]

Saturday 12 August 23:35:25 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [132 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Charlottesville Police Chief is treating case of driver who intentionally rammed into protesters as "criminal homicide" [Obvious]

Saturday 12 August 23:21:11 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [1012 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wallabie damned [Amusing]

Saturday 12 August 22:30:28 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're singing the wrong way [Interesting]

Saturday 12 August 21:29:36 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beach-spreading overtakes man-spreading as the latest Jersey Shore craze [Stupid]

Saturday 12 August 20:19:39 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Australian flower [Photoshop]

Saturday 12 August 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It keeps getting worse: Now a car has plowed into protesters in Charlottesville, casualties reported [News]

Saturday 12 August 18:58:18 UTC 2017

News [link] [1249 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Figuring

Saturday 12 August 18:55:26 UTC 2017

An eight-digit number contains two 1s, two 2s, two 3s, and two 4s. The 1s are separated by 1 digit, the 2s by 2 digits, the 3s by 3 digits, and the 4s by 4 digits. What is the number? SelectClick for Answer 41312432 (or its reverse, 23421314). [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know you've hit a low point when you get so embroiled in lawsuits for so many years, you've resorted to stealing sewer grates to help pay the bills [Sad]

Saturday 12 August 18:45:40 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shiatbag jogger who was arrested for pushing a woman in front of a bus turns out not to be the shiatbag jogger [Followup]

Saturday 12 August 18:21:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police search for kernel of truth to what caused massive corn cob spill. You submitted this with a butter headline [Obvious]

Saturday 12 August 18:09:31 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The KKK Took My Baby Away, Gov. McAuliffe Has Called a State of Emergency, Gabba Gabba Hey [News]

Saturday 12 August 17:16:52 UTC 2017

News [link] [874 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We know you've got a lot on your mind, what with the impending start of WWIII and all, but just in case you're exposed to high levels of radiation for some reason, remember one very important thing: no conditioner [Strange]

Saturday 12 August 17:14:29 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone in Illinois woke up a great mood this morning. Everyone else woke up to the crushing realization that they live in Illinois [Spiffy]

Saturday 12 August 17:04:57 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Children in India have to cross a raging river to get to school. Uphill. Both ways [Scary]

Saturday 12 August 16:52:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is it dusty in here? Couple, inseparable in life, buried in one casket after dying 30 hours apart [Sappy]

Saturday 12 August 16:25:32 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Infraphone

Saturday 12 August 16:23:00 UTC 2017

The Infraphone, invented by Douglas Reddan circa 1960, used infrared light to allow people to communicate wirelessly at distances of several hundred yards. You had to aim your infraphone at another infraphone, which you did by looking through a sight on top of the unit. Then you could talk into the device, just like using a phone.

It's an interesting … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alabama judge affirms constitutional right to have sex with your teachers because Alabama [Obvious]

Saturday 12 August 14:25:56 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The most dangerous thing about the upcoming solar eclipse is: A) Blindness B) Sun exposure C) The Lizard Man [Scary]

Saturday 12 August 14:20:47 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Does Fort Worth ever cross your mind? [Strange]

Saturday 12 August 14:07:48 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alright…how'd he do that? [Cool]

Saturday 12 August 13:50:47 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull turns out to be less unrealistic than previously thought [Cool]

Saturday 12 August 13:41:48 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What sort of hobgoblin vandalizes a bog walk? [Asinine]

Saturday 12 August 13:35:47 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these jumpers [Photoshop]

Saturday 12 August 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yep, the calendar does say 2017. And yet, hundreds of white supremacists just marched through the University of Virginia campus with torches while chanting for racial purity [Sick]

Saturday 12 August 12:30:00 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [690 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An overcrowded shelter was faced with a decision; euthanize 60 kittens still too young to be adopted, or hope for a miracle. Thanks to a small, home-based rescue located across the country, they got their miracle – just in time for Caturday [Caturday

Saturday 12 August 12:00:00 UTC 2017

Caturday [link] [786 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Miss Beverly Hills 1960

Saturday 12 August 11:17:00 UTC 2017

In our continuing annals of oddball beauty contests, this 1948 event must qualify as exceptional.

Newspaper coverage here.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » How come Trump isn't tweeting about how the global stock market lost $1 trillion because the world is freaking out about a nuclear war with North Korea? [Scary]

Saturday 12 August 10:23:45 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » That's What You Said About Shopping Retail!

Saturday 12 August 8:50:51 UTC 2017

Vietnamese coworker using cardboard to fix cubicle, happily: It's like being in refugee camp all over again. Austin, Texas Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Goering Was Especially Tasty

Saturday 12 August 8:50:50 UTC 2017

Man: We’re gonna make some bratwurst.
Woman #1: What’s the difference between sausage and bratwurst?
Woman #2: Well, bratwurst is German.
Woman #1: So they’re just German pigs? Company picnic
Montclair, New Jersey Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Marriage Has Four Seasons, and They're All Too Long

Saturday 12 August 8:50:49 UTC 2017

Cubicle guy #1: Variety is the spice of life!
Cubicle guy #2: Ha ha! Yeah, right, ask your wife that and see what she says! Columbus, Ohio Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Went Home and Rubbed Out a Batch Of My Own

Saturday 12 August 8:50:48 UTC 2017

Cube dweller #1: Did you like the cookies Tom handed out yesterday?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, they were real good.
Cube dweller #3: I liked them.
Cube dweller #1: I love moist cookies. They really excite me! Herndon, Virginia Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » We’re Not Animals.

Saturday 12 August 8:50:47 UTC 2017

Chief petty officer: So, you’re saying the reservists can shoot themselves?
Training officer: Yes, but only with supervision. Barboursville, West Virginia Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Roger Often Regrets Majoring in Basque in College

Saturday 12 August 8:50:46 UTC 2017

Loud girl: Aw shit, I'ma cock-block boo. She gon' get your ass.
Quiet guy in next cubicle, to himself: I am so confused by what goes on in this office sometimes. South Ozone Park
Queens, New York Overheard by: Charlie Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And This Is an HR Issue Why?

Saturday 12 August 8:50:45 UTC 2017

Office guy to another: I just made a big mess with my blow pop. Kitchener
Canadia Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Sure, Just Fill Out a Freudian Slip

Saturday 12 August 8:50:44 UTC 2017

Boss on cell: Is T&A an option? Uh… No, I meant “time and expense.” Is T&E an option? New York City, New York Overheard by: It's ALWAYS an option Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In this day and age where vulgar casualness is the norm, it's nice to know some men will still don a suit, tie, and fedora to go rob a bank [Spiffy]

Saturday 12 August 7:19:45 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, bye [Asinine]

Saturday 12 August 6:28:01 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [208 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, you're a 21st century druid looking to commune with Mother Nature during the upcoming eclipse. Where do you go? Why, Carhenge, of course [Strange]

Saturday 12 August 4:04:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Rich kids eat first" [Asinine]

Saturday 12 August 3:29:01 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [147 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » She’s Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed

Saturday 12 August 2:50:54 UTC 2017

Woman: She made it herself out of paper machete! Massachusetts Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tweakerville now has its own television show as business owner streams the 'North Everett Tweaker Cam.' Next step will be deploying a drone for live audio and potentially hiring a news anchor to compete with Fox News [Followup]

Saturday 12 August 2:41:54 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not what 'one foot in the grave' usually means (warning: graphic image) [Awkward]

Saturday 12 August 2:25:00 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Either three corpse flowers are about to bloom or DC is starting to smell better [Spiffy]

Saturday 12 August 2:20:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » China's navy just fired dozens of missiles near North Korea. They're also fortifying the Sino-Korean border with nuclear-biological-chemical protected bunkers. Nothing to worry about though. It's just standard drills [Scary]

Saturday 12 August 2:15:20 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man dies in elevator after twice pushing emergency button and getting no response. Investigators say something smells fishy. Well, not exactly 'fishy,' but it doesn't smell good [Sad]

Saturday 12 August 1:58:16 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After having his reputation and career destroyed by a blogger who falsely accused him of rape, one Army Colonel decided to fight back — and was just awarded $8.4 million by a jury [Hero]

Saturday 12 August 1:36:27 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [151 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip: when sending a letter to your employer on fake sheriff's office stationery in an attempt to keep your job while serving your six-month sentence, don't misspell any words, and do pick the name of an actual deputy to forge a signature [

Saturday 12 August 1:22:56 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I guess if you're going to impersonate being in the Coast Guard, people on a lake in Montana would be unlikely to know what you're supposed to look like [Fail]

Saturday 12 August 1:14:38 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » GoPro sporting motorcyclist gives an excellent demonstration of physics, when he goes into a turn in the Santa Monica Mountains while doing 68mph [Fail]

Saturday 12 August 0:52:49 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Construction workers catch guy rifling through one of their trucks. Decide to perform citizen's arrest and detain him by lashing him to scaffold [Amusing]

Saturday 12 August 0:50:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NC DMV closes Raleigh license plate agency after audit finds 'operational and performance deficiencies'. Inefficiency at the DMV? Someone fetch my fainting couch [Facepalm]

Saturday 12 August 0:31:00 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Black and White

Saturday 12 August 0:21:56 UTC 2017

By William Anthony Shinkman, 1880. White to mate in two moves. SelectClick for Answer 1. Rd1! and the queen will mate. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mad Dog Mattis meets Jeff Bezos, possibly to find out if Amazon's delivery drones can be fitted with bayonets and flamethrowers [Interesting]

Saturday 12 August 0:09:11 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge: Create a coat of arms for Fark [Photoshop]

Saturday 12 August 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

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