John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Christian Millau, the godfather of the Nouvelle Cuisine movement, dead at the age of 88. Will be buried in an oversized white coffin with a single orchid [Sad]

Wednesday 9 August 23:45:03 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For you history buffs, today is the anniversary of the last time the United States attacked a foreign power with an atomic weapon. Which has totally nothing to do with any current news whatsoever, of course [Interesting]

Wednesday 9 August 23:10:46 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » His and Hers

Wednesday 9 August 23:02:39 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons When Triberg, Germany, unveiled a new parking garage in 2012, it included 12 parking spaces designated for women’s use, as has been required by German law since the 1990s. The spaces are somewhat larger than normal and located near the mall entrance, to reduce the possibility of sexual assault. Due to the Triberg mall’s shape, it also has … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two of 1700 cars parked at Fukushima No. 1 plant during height of 2011 nuclear disaster are still unaccounted for, feared to be radiation-tainted. Neither TEPCO nor the repo men know where they are [Scary]

Wednesday 9 August 22:40:46 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: Bud's Broiler robber ditches bra, takes cash [Strange]

Wednesday 9 August 22:14:06 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Huh. For some strange reason, airlines aren't bumping as many passengers from flights as they used to [Interesting]

Wednesday 9 August 21:27:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "There's CASH in them sinkholes" [Followup]

Wednesday 9 August 21:20:06 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » European butter shortages trigger price hikes, butter emails [Interesting]

Wednesday 9 August 21:03:25 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida family had it with that monkey feather snake in their monkey feather attic [Florida]

Wednesday 9 August 20:43:25 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Investigators ask news station to blur the faces of neglected horses, fearing they may be recognizable, and put their investigation in jeopardy. Mr. Ed wants a digitally altered voice [Strange]

Wednesday 9 August 20:16:45 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this spoonful of goodness [Photoshop]

Wednesday 9 August 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip: If you're going to watch Sookie stripping for Warlow on "True Blood" on your computer, do NOT view it on your work computer, and especially when the screen is in full view in the background during a live news broadcast [Dumbass]

Wednesday 9 August 19:50:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A straight flush beats four of a kind, but a mysterious flush beats thousands of passengers at Orlando International Airport [Florida]

Wednesday 9 August 19:35:54 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Confederate time capsule found under statue contained Confederate Flag, newspapers, and CSA dollar bills. Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend rising again with that stuff [Followup]

Wednesday 9 August 19:11:54 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some in Congress worry N. Korea might strike Guam because of the size of the U.S. military there, another fears our military's weight may actually cause the small island to "tip over" [Interesting]

Wednesday 9 August 18:50:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound and stab us." — Franz Kafka. Huh, I got a nasty paper cut from Catch-22, does that count? This is your Fark Writer's Thread, wounding and stabbing edition [CSB]

Wednesday 9 August 18:38:33 UTC 2017

CSB [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pretty solid who-farted-y'all mugshot after mom abandons kid with special needs in woods [Dumbass]

Wednesday 9 August 18:07:13 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone actually asks Tom Skilling if chemtrails are real [Facepalm]

Wednesday 9 August 17:50:05 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mormons excommunicate one of their leaders for the first time in decades and no one will say why. Article to the left, betting pool to the right. Subby is putting his money on "goat stuff" [Interesting]

Wednesday 9 August 17:37:13 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [158 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Congratulations American travelers, you just set a new record: the largest number of guns confiscated by TSA in a single week. USA USA USA [Murica]

Wednesday 9 August 17:08:32 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York really needs help fixing its crumbling subway infrastructure. Perhaps getting rid of $5 footlongs was a mistake [PSA]

Wednesday 9 August 16:38:32 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This dad is clearly too cool to be a Hanzo main [Cool]

Wednesday 9 August 15:56:54 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Very, very low" levels of plutonium detected in air at Washington nuclear site, state says. Drivers told to roll up windows [Scary]

Wednesday 9 August 15:16:46 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chuck E. Cheese, where a kid can be a kid, and a father can kick a 6-year-old for picking up his tokens [Dumbass]

Wednesday 9 August 14:46:46 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FBI conducted a raid on Paul Manafort's home *last month* [News]

Wednesday 9 August 14:42:30 UTC 2017

News [link] [610 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Sexy Pineapple Diet

Wednesday 9 August 14:31:40 UTC 2017

This diet from 1970 was simple. Just eat only pineapple for two days every week. On the other days you can eat whatever you want. The book is apparently quite a rarity, because I haven't been able to find any used copies for sale.

Over at vice.com, a guy recently tried the diet and claims that he lost 1 kilogram … [Link]

Weird Universe » JFK as Angel

Wednesday 9 August 14:31:39 UTC 2017

Source of text.

Regretably, the only image I could find has this watermark hiding some of the details.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't be an idiot and ride with your feet on the dashboard. The airbag could force your knees through your eye sockets [PSA]

Wednesday 9 August 14:16:45 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » At Least Stop Leaving Your Pinkeye Crusties on My Desk

Wednesday 9 August 13:14:20 UTC 2017

Co-worker: You know, you should stay home when you’re sick. You ruined my whole weekend.
Sick co-worker: [Laughs.]
Co-worker, enraged: I’m not kidding! You ruined my whole weekend! Stay home next time, damnit! Jefferson Road
Cookeville, Tennessee Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » That's What You Said About Shopping Retail!

Wednesday 9 August 13:14:19 UTC 2017

Vietnamese coworker using cardboard to fix cubicle, happily: It's like being in refugee camp all over again. Austin, Texas Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Goering Was Especially Tasty

Wednesday 9 August 13:14:18 UTC 2017

Man: We’re gonna make some bratwurst.
Woman #1: What’s the difference between sausage and bratwurst?
Woman #2: Well, bratwurst is German.
Woman #1: So they’re just German pigs? Company picnic
Montclair, New Jersey Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Marriage Has Four Seasons, and They're All Too Long

Wednesday 9 August 13:14:17 UTC 2017

Cubicle guy #1: Variety is the spice of life!
Cubicle guy #2: Ha ha! Yeah, right, ask your wife that and see what she says! Columbus, Ohio Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Went Home and Rubbed Out a Batch Of My Own

Wednesday 9 August 13:14:16 UTC 2017

Cube dweller #1: Did you like the cookies Tom handed out yesterday?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, they were real good.
Cube dweller #3: I liked them.
Cube dweller #1: I love moist cookies. They really excite me! Herndon, Virginia Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Roger Often Regrets Majoring in Basque in College

Wednesday 9 August 13:14:14 UTC 2017

Loud girl: Aw shit, I'ma cock-block boo. She gon' get your ass.
Quiet guy in next cubicle, to himself: I am so confused by what goes on in this office sometimes. South Ozone Park
Queens, New York Overheard by: Charlie Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And This Is an HR Issue Why?

Wednesday 9 August 13:14:13 UTC 2017

Office guy to another: I just made a big mess with my blow pop. Kitchener
Canadia Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this baseball crowd [Photoshop]

Wednesday 9 August 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you have 1,200 pounds of drugs aboard and are having battery issues on your boat, maybe you shouldn't call the Coast Guard for help [Fail]

Wednesday 9 August 12:20:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hooray, scientists discover potential new treatment for life-threatening blood clots. Fark: An Australian scientist milks Komodo dragons for venom. Bonus: Cute pic of scientist "bonding" with Komodo dragon, and scary pic of milking venom [Spi

Wednesday 9 August 11:20:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And he would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that meddling floater in the toilet [Fail]

Wednesday 9 August 11:00:43 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's first fark ready headline: Attention, men: please do not put your penis in a coconut [Giggity]

Wednesday 9 August 10:09:41 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh nothing, just stomping a baby, as you do [Dumbass]

Wednesday 9 August 9:19:41 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wisconsin's Foxconn deal has turned into a FoxCON. Governor Scooter, still suffering from delusions of grandeur, thinks it will be fantastic for the state [Asinine]

Wednesday 9 August 8:53:29 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [168 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Turnabout

Wednesday 9 August 6:45:20 UTC 2017

Here’s an especially vivid example of the illusion created by Dick Termes’ six-point perspective. If you can convince yourself that the front half of this sphere is transparent, and that the image is painted on the interior of the back half, you’ll find that you’re inside the cage, turning to your left, while the birds are outside the cage, looking … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The U.S. Military has declared open season on drones operating over its bases [Spiffy]

Wednesday 9 August 4:21:40 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » United Airlines continues its customer outreach [Sad]

Wednesday 9 August 3:14:05 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cleveland lawyer who attempted "Breaking Bad" money laundering scam with Federal informant denied appeal. He'll make a great Cinnabon manager when he's paroled [Dumbass]

Wednesday 9 August 2:41:53 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former school bus driver charged with sex, drugs. No word on rock n' roll [Dumbass]

Wednesday 9 August 2:32:30 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Columbian Mammoth found in Montana. ICE immediately begins deportation proceedings [Cool]

Wednesday 9 August 2:28:42 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hamsterdam in New Amsterdam [Interesting]

Wednesday 9 August 2:25:26 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A little baby elephant throws a big temper tantrum [Amusing]

Wednesday 9 August 2:20:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This one time? At Band Camp? 8,000 texts involving content of a "sexual nature" and other topics? Probably not recipes [Sick]

Wednesday 9 August 1:58:15 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: "Couple conspires to rob adult store then she fingers him as suspect, warrant says". Subby is certain he didn't enjoy it [Fail]

Wednesday 9 August 1:41:14 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Collector going through property of deceased veteran discovers WWII mortar shell. "The officers told me it was remarkably well-preserved. And it was wrapped in bubble wrap, which I guess is a great sign" [Scary]

Wednesday 9 August 1:36:26 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You've just committed armed robbery. The best way to throw police off of your trail is: C) enter the police station and report a robbery at the store you just robbed [Dumbass]

Wednesday 9 August 1:14:37 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Screaming kids scare off would-be carjackers, potential dates [Spiffy]

Wednesday 9 August 0:52:48 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC's long war on storefront porn reaches new tipping point for those that haven't heard of the internet [Giggity]

Wednesday 9 August 0:30:59 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dentist accused of practicing painless dentistry. For him, at least. Kind of hard to feel anything with a blood alcohol level of .418 percent [Dumbass]

Wednesday 9 August 0:09:10 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this biker chick [Photoshop]

Wednesday 9 August 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

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