John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Crematory had one job to do. Didn't [Creepy]

Wednesday 2 August 23:52:49 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jesus is watching you. Really [Creepy]

Wednesday 2 August 23:28:49 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You find a set of keys outside a car dealership. You turn them in, expecting a reward, but they refuse. The logical thing to do is A) shrug it off and be on your way, B) call them cheap bastards, or C) punch one of their cars and smear feces on it [D

Wednesday 2 August 23:04:49 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beware condo owners – your building may not allow you to charge your own electric car [PSA]

Wednesday 2 August 22:56:00 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunk man punches Russian journalist in the face on the air [Strange]

Wednesday 2 August 22:40:49 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You just might have a bedbug infestation if they have to bring in a hazmat team to hose down firefighters after they respond to a call at your house [Scary]

Wednesday 2 August 22:16:49 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Minnehaha not so funny right now [NewsFlash]

Wednesday 2 August 21:54:20 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How to make a Frosé, this summer's trendy drink, at home. Step one: Abandon all self respect [Misc]

Wednesday 2 August 21:50:09 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What'd you catch fishing today? Oh, nuthin' just an eagle [Cool]

Wednesday 2 August 21:20:06 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In the wake of video showing officers planting evidence, Baltimore is having to dismiss dozens of felony cases. Bonus: There's another video of different cops planting evidence [Followup]

Wednesday 2 August 20:50:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What are the chances of breaking a dozen double yolk eggs in a row? Better than you think [Weird]

Wednesday 2 August 20:20:06 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these award winning buns [Photoshop]

Wednesday 2 August 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chris Christie says heckler is lucky he didn't spill his nachos on him, as if Christie would willingly part with nachos [Followup]

Wednesday 2 August 19:10:46 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [177 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Freedom

Wednesday 2 August 18:50:27 UTC 2017

In Under the Mask, his 1972 anthology about prejudice in America, Karel Weiss records a scene aboard the slave ship Young Hero in 1788, recounted by ship’s surgeon Ecroide Claxton before the House of Commons: Some of the slaves on board the same ship, says Mr. Claxton, had such an aversion to leaving their native places, that they threw themselves … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good cinderblocks make good neighbors [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 August 18:46:46 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Philadelphia police search for baby formula thief wearing Cowboys hat because that is a crime in Pennsylvania. Everybody knows you gotta wear a Pirates hat, a Phillies Hat, a Stillers Hat. But never a Cowboys hat [Dumbass]

Wednesday 2 August 18:16:46 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First sexually transmitted case of Zika detected in Florida. See, this is why you don't have sex with mosquitos [Florida]

Wednesday 2 August 17:46:46 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Orlando airport employees fired for 'throwing luggage' video [Florida]

Wednesday 2 August 17:16:46 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two words: "Beer Mansion " [Spiffy]

Wednesday 2 August 16:50:06 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Cash me outside' girl cashed again [Followup]

Wednesday 2 August 16:44:06 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [154 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seven priests walk into a bar… [Facepalm]

Wednesday 2 August 16:20:06 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: "Older people dying on job at higher rate than all workers." Analysis: No Shiat [Obvious]

Wednesday 2 August 16:03:45 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Norwegian anti-immigration group posts picture on their Facebook page of bus full of scary Muslim women wearing veils, but are actually just bus seats. Allah Akbus [Fail]

Wednesday 2 August 15:41:56 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mom almost goes blind from holy water, which seems counter to all the holy water stories subby has heard previously [Fail]

Wednesday 2 August 15:20:07 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In case you were still on the fence about cable companies being evil [Scary]

Wednesday 2 August 14:50:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Joey, do you like gladiator movies? Ever seen a grown man naked? Wanna fly the plane? [Asinine]

Wednesday 2 August 14:20:06 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Plane lands, passengers opens door and exits. Everybody in the universe has a problem with this [Dumbass]

Wednesday 2 August 14:16:47 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 1) Preheat oven to 110 degrees. 2) Season long pig with salt and pepper 3) Stuff long pig into aluminum foil tube (pack tightly) 4) Add cup of water occasionally 5) Simmer for six hours [Asinine]

Wednesday 2 August 13:50:07 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » U.S. citizen mistakenly detained by ICE and held for three years is awarded $82,000, but because the statute of limitations ran out while he was in custody, he won't get a dime [Asinine]

Wednesday 2 August 13:20:07 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [243 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this inquisitive golfer [Photoshop]

Wednesday 2 August 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Liquid-filled iPhone cases recalled for causing chemical burns and permanent scarring. What liquid is used in the cases? That's none of your business [Scary]

Wednesday 2 August 12:50:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your everything guide to visiting the Eiffel Tower. Step 1: plan a real vacation somewhere interesting [PSA]

Wednesday 2 August 12:20:05 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » What is a drawing?

Wednesday 2 August 11:59:55 UTC 2017

New Zealand artist Kirsty Lillico recently won the annual Parkin Drawing Prize, which netted her $20,000. The question her win has raised is, was her piece, titled "State Block," actually a drawing? It consisted of pieces of carpet draped over string.

Lillico said, "Drawing, to me, it's not just about a pencil and paper. I'm using a knife and carpet … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One of the last surviving Spitfire pilots dies at age 99. He was walking around and doing interviews and telling corny old jokes until the very end. May we all go out like this guy [Hero]

Wednesday 2 August 11:50:05 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Slave of Passion

Wednesday 2 August 11:46:02 UTC 2017

Here’s something odd: a painting of a young lady riding Aristotle like a pony. In fact what’s surprising is how thoroughly we’ve forgotten this image, which was once one of the most common artistic motifs of the Northern Renaissance, figuring in scores of paintings, sculptures, and engravings. The woman is Phyllis, the consort of Alexander the Great, who was a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 900-year-old human remains uncovered in Ohio. Surprisingly, not your mom [Cool]

Wednesday 2 August 11:18:56 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Sexiest motorcyclist" has sexiest crash [Scary]

Wednesday 2 August 10:39:56 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [163 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How can we stop the worst drug overdose crisis in American history? [Scary]

Wednesday 2 August 10:22:31 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [210 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Snobs and The Upper Crust

Wednesday 2 August 9:59:00 UTC 2017

You can't keep a good idea down.

The Upper Crust.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just in case you thought anti-vaxxers couldn't get more mentally deficient, an increasing number of them in Brooklyn are refusing to vaccinate their dogs for the fear the dogs might get autism [Stupid]

Wednesday 2 August 9:35:56 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Security guard accused of stealing $100K from his company's armored truck on 1st day of work. Spends $15k of it by next morning [Dumbass]

Wednesday 2 August 5:56:14 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cook County retailers appeal the ruling on the area's pop tax [Followup]

Wednesday 2 August 3:53:30 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Edinburgh's new outdoor concert arena will look like a giant hobbit house [Cool]

Wednesday 2 August 2:50:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Next Air Force One to be second hand 747 from bankrupt Russian airline. Unlikely tag last seen taking a toaster into the bathroom [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 August 2:25:47 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newborn calf wants to rock-n-roll all night and party every day [Cool]

Wednesday 2 August 2:10:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I hollered, "Don't look, Ethel," but it was too late. She'd already been mooned. Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers [Weeners]

Wednesday 2 August 1:44:41 UTC 2017

Weeners [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Searchers have climbed the highest mountains, run through the fields, but they still haven't found what they're looking for [Sad]

Wednesday 2 August 1:30:05 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is exactly why we have "stand your ground" and "castle doctrine" laws in some states in the U.S. [Stupid]

Wednesday 2 August 1:06:37 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Changing Views

Wednesday 2 August 0:51:24 UTC 2017

Sculptor John V. Muntean writes, “Our scientific interpretation of nature often depends upon our point of view. Perspective matters.” His carving titled Riddle of the Sphinx combines three profiles in one object — a baby, an adult man, and an old man with a walking stick. With each 120 degrees of rotation, the carving’s shadow presents a different picture. This … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FSU once again makes the Top Party School top 10 list, but falls from #1 to #5. Tulane too drunk to yell, "We're Number One" [Fail]

Wednesday 2 August 0:50:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » McDonalds employee(s) "accidentally" put a piece of bacon on a chicken sandwich ordered by a Muslim family. All 14 sandwiches [Dumbass]

Wednesday 2 August 0:38:46 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [238 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » August 1st is National Girlfriends' Day. Take your hand to lunch [Misc]

Wednesday 2 August 0:10:05 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested after trail camera catches him having sex with donkeys [Sick]

Wednesday 2 August 0:04:50 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these dancers [Photoshop]

Wednesday 2 August 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

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