Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » If you stole hundreds of grenades and explosive charges from Portugal, pretty much every authority in Europe would like to speak with you [Scary]

Tuesday 25 July 23:58:38 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Senate: 97-2. House 419-3. Veto this [Interesting]

Tuesday 25 July 23:43:41 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » News: Men arrested trying to buy drugs. Dumbass tag: At a police station from a police officer [Dumbass]

Tuesday 25 July 23:24:21 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Arizona craft breweries to make beer out of treated sewage water. Makers of Bud Light not impressed [Weird]

Tuesday 25 July 22:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Baby killer whale dies. Babies everywhere breathe sighs of relief [Sad]

Tuesday 25 July 22:40:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » British police post photo of attractive young officer. Sexist comments have gotten so bad they've upgraded their official response from "Oh, I say" to "Wot's all this then?" [Stupid]

Tuesday 25 July 22:14:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Swiss chainsaw attacker arrested after slipping through holes in manhunt [Followup]

Tuesday 25 July 21:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Cop shoots innocent victim. It was himself but he was innocent [Dumbass]

Tuesday 25 July 21:31:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If your phone falls down a trash chute, just let it go, man [Amusing]

Tuesday 25 July 21:10:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Oxford council threatens homeless with £2,500 fine. That'll teach them to be destitute and starving [Sick]

Tuesday 25 July 20:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Sperm count drop 'may lead to human extinction' [Weeners]

Tuesday 25 July 20:40:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Bad: Your Uber driver is obviously distracted. Worse: By the woman giving him a bj in the front seat [Facepalm]

Tuesday 25 July 20:13:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this pointer [Photoshop]

Tuesday 25 July 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Have some background on Slovenia…home of…Melania Trump and maybe that place where the kids were locked up in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang [Cool]

Tuesday 25 July 19:59:39 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Guys working on a bridge work crew are being assaulted by idiots who think they aren't working fast enough [Strange]

Tuesday 25 July 19:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » PSA: Kill it with fire is not a good way to accomplish your mission when it's a bug under the bed [Dumbass]

Tuesday 25 July 19:44:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Inventor of unique topping for French fries gives it the not-offputting-at-all name "man dip" [Creepy]

Tuesday 25 July 19:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Sorry you got sick on our cruise, but you didn't buy the travel insurance so we're just going to leave you to die in Alaska [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 July 19:10:37 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Maryland brewers concerned that the state may be lagging in hop production, which would in turn force them to actually craft a variety of quality beers instead of just thinking up quirky plays on the word "hop" for their labels [Scary]

Tuesday 25 July 18:48:48 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Justine Damond may have slapped police car, making it perfectly reasonable for officers to shoot her [Followup]

Tuesday 25 July 18:30:20 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » My favorite color is Hitler. Wait… what? [Fail]

Tuesday 25 July 18:11:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Ken Ham, who sold the Ark Park from his for-profit LLC to his non-profit church group to get out of paying thousands in safety fees, sells it back to his for-profit LLC to keep its millions in tax rebates [Followup]

Tuesday 25 July 17:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Massachusetts Supreme Court says it's illegal to hold people on ICE detainers [Interesting]

Tuesday 25 July 17:40:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Archeologists search for biblical tabernacle that housed the deadliest weapon of all time. So far, no one's face has melted off [Scary]

Tuesday 25 July 17:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Cop responds to noise complaint about kids playing football in the street by joining the game. "Do you want me to do a police report, because you just got robbed" [Hero]

Tuesday 25 July 17:12:20 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Forget floods, hurricanes or antarctic ice. Climate Change is helping spread a tick that makes humans allergic to red meat. EVERYBODY (finally) PANIC [Followup]

Tuesday 25 July 16:48:20 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you're going to kill yourself, at least be considerate of others. Man calls 9-1-1 to say he's going to kill himself, so they should hurry due to his organ donor status [Strange]

Tuesday 25 July 16:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Woman gets infected with strange new virus by stray cat in Japan. Unfortunately it doesn't give her sexy super powers [Sad]

Tuesday 25 July 15:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Black women choosing guns for self-defense, in move that simultaneously deters attackers and the NRA [Interesting]

Tuesday 25 July 15:46:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you're trying to flee ISIS by posing as a woman, there's one VERY important feature you need to consider when changing your appearance [Dumbass]

Tuesday 25 July 15:43:16 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #321

Tuesday 25 July 15:20:05 UTC 2017

"Dead people like our beer."

From the American Legion magazine for May 1952. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Through a Scanner Farkly: The 2017 Fark Fiction Anthology has arrived. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you may want more bourbon [CSB]

Tuesday 25 July 15:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Road Raging Dad: "You're under a citizen's arrest! Put your hands on the car and prepare to die!" Rest of the world: "That's not how this works. That's not how ANY of this works" [Fail]

Tuesday 25 July 15:11:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fox News is now number two, in more ways than one [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 July 14:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » US Navy fires warning shots at Iranians [News]

Tuesday 25 July 14:28:55 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » New ad campaign from Dan Gilbert proclaims "See Detroit Like We Do". Apparently, they have a really good ability to not see 85% of the city [Stupid]

Tuesday 25 July 14:20:05 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » What does music taste like?

Tuesday 25 July 14:07:00 UTC 2017

Science marches onward! Japanese company Nomura Open Innovation LAB has invented a machine that can translate music into blended juice drinks. It analyzes the music to determine the mix of emotions it represents. It then translates these emotions into juices, with sweet flavors representing happiness, sour as excitement, bitter as sad, etc.

The company promises that one day their machine … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "While in the back of a patrol car on Interstate 80, a suspect stripped off his clothes then defecated and ate his own feces, spitting them at Richmond officers" [Sick]

Tuesday 25 July 13:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » University of Cincinnati cop who killed an unarmed black man for not having a front license plate, and whose bodycam footage showed his story to be a total lie, has charges dismissed with prejudice [Murica]

Tuesday 25 July 13:20:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: The adventures of Florida Man [Photoshop]

Tuesday 25 July 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » North Carolina church accused of bringing hundreds of teens and young adults from its sister congregations in Brazil to the U.S. and forcing them to work for free and beating them when they disobeyed. Umm, didn't we fight a war about this already

Tuesday 25 July 12:59:41 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The first rule of Fish Club is: You do not talk about Fish Club. The second rule of Fish Club is: You do not talk about Fish Club [Repeat]

Tuesday 25 July 12:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » British cooking soon to benefit from the use of traditional American ingredients like chlorine, petroleum, acid and hormones [Sick]

Tuesday 25 July 12:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Pilot said the Nazi design was just for fun [Awkward]

Tuesday 25 July 12:01:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Russia decides turnabout is fair play [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 July 11:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Let's see how things are going since Trump intervened in Yemen. Oh my [Sick]

Tuesday 25 July 11:14:30 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you want your license plate to be DRGDLR, DRUNK, LGLP0T, LOADED, LSD, NTOXC8, REEFER, ST0NED and 1MDRNK, D1MEBG or BONG, don't worry. Missouri goes to great lengths to smarten your stupidity [Silly]

Tuesday 25 July 10:57:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Should men engage in "chestfeeding", the use of hormones to induce lactation so they can feed their babies? [Unlikely]

Tuesday 25 July 10:24:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » What a pisser [Fail]

Tuesday 25 July 9:35:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Air Force says F-35 pilots may be too reliant on oxygen while flying [Satire]

Tuesday 25 July 8:11:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » U.S. missile defense racks up another perfect success, except for the part where a sailor hit the big red button labeled "self-destruct" [Awkward]

Tuesday 25 July 7:01:17 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » While You Wait

Tuesday 25 July 6:08:16 UTC 2017

Old Faithful is sometimes degraded by being made a laundry. Garments placed in the crater during quiescence are ejected thoroughly washed when the eruption takes place. Gen. Sheridan’s men, in 1882, found that linen and cotton fabrics were uninjured by the action of the water, but woolen clothes were torn to shreds. — William C. Riley, Official Guide to the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In case you were wondering why America's best fast food burger franchise will not be expanding to the East Coast, here's why [Cool]

Tuesday 25 July 1:13:40 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons