Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » So it rained all day, you got the A/C on full blast, Junior's mowing the lawn because there's no way you're going out in that humidity – sounds like a good time to take the Fark Weird News Quiz [Cool]

Saturday 15 July 23:59:16 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Chesapeake Bay area residents warned of waterspouts coming on shore. Eensy weensy spiders hardest hit [Scary]

Saturday 15 July 23:46:49 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » I'll see your 8-pound bass caught on a Buzz Lightyear pole and raise with a 381-pound dressed tuna caught by a 12-year-old [Interesting]

Saturday 15 July 23:39:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » First woman to win math's Fields Medal successfully divides by zero [Sad]

Saturday 15 July 23:26:21 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Mom blogger won't let son receive a perfect attendance award so she can make it all about her and what a great parent she is. Did you know she also has a book out too? [Dumbass]

Saturday 15 July 21:40:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this swimming bear [Photoshop]

Saturday 15 July 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Not news: 67-year-old woman finally finds those 27 contact lenses she lost. News: they were all still in her eye, Fark: at the same time. UF: Possibly the first ever link to Optometry Today? [Creepy]

Saturday 15 July 19:50:55 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Today's useless debate: Pancakes vs Waffles (aka pancakes with abs) [Silly]

Saturday 15 July 19:36:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » These guys drank a 61-year-old bottle of Coca-Cola. "Have you ever licked an old couch?" [Amusing]

Saturday 15 July 19:00:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » That's easy: the first is awesome, the second is awesome, and the third is awesome. Any more questions? [Cool]

Saturday 15 July 18:49:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Thousands sign up to clean sewage because they didn't read the wifi terms and conditions [Amusing]

Saturday 15 July 18:19:51 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Teen girl shoots mom in head, tries cleaning up blood, sets fire to house, then posts "I love you so much mom" on Facebook. Brilliant [Sad]

Saturday 15 July 18:08:55 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Five myths about Fark's favorite state [Florida]

Saturday 15 July 18:08:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Police help man escape his obsessive girlfriend, so she chases the police car that's taking him somewhere safe [Creepy]

Saturday 15 July 17:57:51 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Thousands dead, more injured, and no end in sight in The Dunkin' Donuts Hot Cup War [Strange]

Saturday 15 July 16:58:57 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "One of my favourite things to wear at the beach is sand. Or, as I like to call it, 'nature's glitter.'" [Obvious]

Saturday 15 July 16:21:33 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Dry dock photos of USS Fitzgerald shows extent of damage below the waterline [Followup]

Saturday 15 July 16:19:52 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Just because they're spelled alike does not mean 'baseline' rhymes with 'Vaseline' [Facepalm]

Saturday 15 July 16:05:56 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Cops help administer CPR for over 30 minutes, saving a man's life. Almost submitted this with a snarky headline, but everyone's hard work deserves better [Hero]

Saturday 15 July 16:04:27 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » On the positive side, at least United didn't beat up the dog [Facepalm]

Saturday 15 July 15:47:27 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » One photographer's fight to document all the beasties for his Photo Ark. Clouded Leopard cub? Orangutan baby? Yes and yes. Coquerel's sifaka? I don't know what that is, but it's cute as hell [Sappy]

Saturday 15 July 15:45:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » No matter how much you think your job is cool, chances are you didn't get paid to spend 12 hours rescuing a baby elephant 9 miles off the coast of Sri Lanka [Hero]

Saturday 15 July 15:20:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Harvard committee proposes Groucho Marx rule for students: that they don't join any organizations that would have them as members [Asinine]

Saturday 15 July 14:53:56 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » And I think to myself, what a wonderful world [Hero]

Saturday 15 July 14:45:56 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The Saturday Morning Book Club is thinking big this week. Really big. We're looking for the best coffee table books (coffee table sold separately) [Interesting]

Saturday 15 July 14:00:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » It's gettin' rough on the streets of Houston being an ambulance driver. Slashed brake lines, shot out windows by rival ambulance driver gangs [Scary]

Saturday 15 July 13:51:20 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Oh shiat…. Nerd rage inbound…. Brace for impact [Silly]

Saturday 15 July 13:50:20 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Cactus Bikini

Saturday 15 July 13:40:38 UTC 2017

It's become a bit of an iconic image — a young woman wearing a cactus bikini. The photo dates back to 1940 when the Tucson Sunshine Climate Club dressed some University of Arizona coeds up in cactus apparel as a publicity stunt. Of course, it wouldn't have been called a 'bikini' back then, since that term wasn't yet coined. It … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California's Supreme Court moves to make the bar exam easier to pass, because if there's one thing California needs, it's more lawyers [Stupid]

Saturday 15 July 13:35:12 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Lawn care business owner told his lawn isn't big enough to operate [Ironic]

Saturday 15 July 13:05:20 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these vacationing pigeons [Photoshop]

Saturday 15 July 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » TV station tweets photo of Black Lives Matter activist next to headline "Would-be robber arrives early at banks to find doors locked" … which is pretty much par for the course for Idaho and Sinclair Broadcast Group [Facepalm]

Saturday 15 July 12:45:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Wife calls skydiving company in an attempt to stop her husband's suicide. Aww chute [Sad]

Saturday 15 July 12:30:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Oh rats, it's time for Caturday already? [Caturday]

Saturday 15 July 12:00:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » This idea is 20 years too late [Amusing]

Saturday 15 July 11:37:20 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Awww… green golden retriever puppy. You know you want one [Cool]

Saturday 15 July 10:53:36 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Rolls Royce Gift Card

Saturday 15 July 10:06:00 UTC 2017

Source of story.

Apparently still a thing these days, but in digital format. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Body of fugitive-suspect in police chief slaying from 1980 has been found buried on property owned by police chief's wife. The wife led police to the grave and won't be prosecuted, for some unexplained reason. Sounds perfectly cromulent [Weir

Saturday 15 July 9:47:37 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you have to call the cops to your house 55 different times, then yes, on the 55th time they are allowed to use pepper spray [Obvious]

Saturday 15 July 8:45:36 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Rabbinical students on summer visit to Montana dress like Native Americans, speak in fractured Yiddish [Interesting]

Saturday 15 July 7:21:30 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Even if I had half the heart that this kid has I still couldn't complete a triathlon, but I guess that would be a quarter heart [Cool]

Saturday 15 July 7:19:17 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Porn site Kink.com is holding another prop sale. Get 'em while they're still warm [Giggity]

Saturday 15 July 7:18:27 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Late Again

Saturday 15 July 6:33:44 UTC 2017

A problem from P.M.H. Kendall and G.M. Thomas’ Mathematical Puzzles for the Connoisseur, 1962: A road runs parallel to a railway until it bends to cross it, as shown. A man normally cycles to work along the road at a constant speed of 12 mph, and when he reaches the crossing he’s normally overtaken by a train traveling in the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's great to aspire to something, Florida Man, but 'skull-faced comic book level villain' is probably not a good goal [Florida]

Saturday 15 July 5:47:51 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Here in my wagon / I don't feel safest at all / I don't have any doors / It's the only way to live / In wagons [Stupid]

Saturday 15 July 4:47:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Field of Fire Paintball Adventures takes their name a little too literally [Awkward]

Saturday 15 July 3:20:27 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » People trapped in large building fire in Honolulu [NewsFlash]

Saturday 15 July 3:16:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The important thing I think when you're caught in a drug deal is that you stare really intensely into the camera when you're booked, whether you're an insane Seth Green type or a fat Ray Liotta type [Misc]

Saturday 15 July 3:09:38 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Mail thief arrested for attacking Milton officer, choosing to reign in hell instead of serving in heaven [Misc]

Saturday 15 July 2:50:12 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Please note: red light camera tickets will still be sent to you even if you have an airtight alibi, such as being in jail for killing a cop [Florida]

Saturday 15 July 2:45:02 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Chechen president says there are no gays in Chechnya. Goes on to say "We will put the whole world on its knees and screw it from behind" [Ironic]

Saturday 15 July 2:02:12 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons