John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » I could make a real killing if this program were offered to me [Strange]

Thursday 6 July 23:55:27 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ye olde prankster trolls the present with bomb-shaped time capsule [Amusing]

Thursday 6 July 23:38:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alaskans are too busy fishing to worry about being nuked [Murica]

Thursday 6 July 23:36:41 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sadly not news anymore: Female Uber driver accuses her passenger of trying to sexually assault her. News: He's an Oklahoma State Senator. Fark: when cops asked if he'd been drinking his answer was: "No more than anyone else" [Fail]

Thursday 6 July 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former Trump Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City holding a liquidation sale, just in case you want to turn your apartment into an exact replica of the classiest most winningest casino on earth [Interesting]

Thursday 6 July 22:20:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Young girl takes her hamster to the vet because he hasn't moved for days. Fark: Because he was stuck to the cage with a magnet that was in his pouch (Some Not safe for work content in sidebar) [Unlikely]

Thursday 6 July 22:13:29 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bill Gates wants to make it harder for migrants to reach Europe. Why not force migrants to pass through a Windows 10 interface? [Interesting]

Thursday 6 July 21:43:29 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't make macaque angry, You wouldn't like it when it's angry [Florida]

Thursday 6 July 21:16:49 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Poached, fried, used in a dessert.. What do you like to make with the incredible, edible egg? [Interesting]

Thursday 6 July 21:00:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [180 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Illinois governor's budget veto so popular, people are throwing mysterious substances into his office. Bonus: they had to turn off the air conditioning in the whole capital building as a precaution [Asinine]

Thursday 6 July 20:46:49 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California considering adopting Daylight Saving Time all year round [Interesting]

Thursday 6 July 20:20:09 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dangerously adorable Siberian Lynx kittens stolen, then returned to petting zoo. Said to be in good health, but hungry and even more adorable [Interesting]

Thursday 6 July 20:03:43 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this nite shot [Photoshop]

Thursday 6 July 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here comes Santa Claus, Here comes Santa Claus, in a high speed chase in Maine [Unlikely]

Thursday 6 July 19:41:54 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coming up next on NBC, "Saturday Night Liv" [Fail]

Thursday 6 July 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Putin tests his new super limo that he is going to use for his own inauguration ceremony in 2018. It has a minibar and can travel even without tires [Cool]

Thursday 6 July 19:11:58 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vegan cafe goes full Amy's Bakery over negative online review. And so Buttholegate began [Facepalm]

Thursday 6 July 18:50:09 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [278 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fisherman arrested after his wife's body washes ashore tied to an anchor. Perhaps he should have taken an anchor management class beforehand [Sad]

Thursday 6 July 18:41:54 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thousands clash with police in Hamburg in G20 protest. Mayor McCheese urges restraint. Link goes to live video [Live]

Thursday 6 July 18:36:08 UTC 2017

Live [link] [162 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Say thank you to the nice firefighters for rescuing you." Boy gives firefighters the one finger salute [Florida]

Thursday 6 July 18:34:49 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Breakfast through the years. MMMM Bacon [Interesting]

Thursday 6 July 18:10:49 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Daughter of a man killed by a Virginia murderer slated to die today urges the governor to vacate the condemned man's death sentence. Her grandmother: Light the bastard up [Ironic]

Thursday 6 July 17:46:49 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Zoned-out lacrosse goalie reaches for his water bottle with one second left in the quarter [Fail]

Thursday 6 July 17:20:09 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your sister is lying in a hospital bed, behind you, screaming out in pain and in the midst of labor, now THAT'S a perfect time for a SELFIE [Facepalm]

Thursday 6 July 17:20:08 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Missing a Train

Thursday 6 July 16:01:46 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons New York playwright Augustin Daly was walking home one night in 1867, ruminating about a play he had begun to write, when he stubbed his toe on a misplaced flagstone. “I was near my door,” he said, “and I rushed into the house, threw myself into a chair, grasping my injured foot with both hands, for the pain … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Speed Limit 20 MPH when children are present. Or when light is flashing. Or on the second Tuesday of the month. Or on the Vernal Equinox. Or when the category 'Famous Last Words' is chosen on Jeopardy. Or on– *police sirens* [Fail]

Thursday 6 July 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Add "car collecting" to the list of things Americans can't do right, which by now includes geography, science, history, beer making, electing sane people, not being fat, and I'm running out of space to continue [Fail]

Thursday 6 July 15:20:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [314 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Writer claims millennials need to get "an education, a job and a spouse before begetting children" in order to be successful. No word on how they're supposed to pay for the education, find a job, or meet a spouse [Dumbass]

Thursday 6 July 14:50:08 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [327 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Air Force to retired A-10 pilot: Hey, remember the Distinguished Flying Cross we gave you in 2003 for that CAS mission you flew through a hail of AA and a sandstorm? Yeah, we're upgrading it to the U.S. military's third highest decoration for

Thursday 6 July 14:36:47 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 11AM Smart Investing

Thursday 6 July 14:21:43 UTC 2017

Customer: Do you have the new quarters from Texas?
Teller: Yes, we do. How many would you like?
Customer: Just one.
Teller: One roll or one quarter?
Customer: Just one quarter…how much do they cost? 57 Route 206
Tabernacle, New Jersey Overheard by: Kelly [Link]

Weird Universe » Annie Oakley’s Dandruff Shampoo

Thursday 6 July 14:11:44 UTC 2017

Story of its invention here.

Source of second ad.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » For those of you who still have fingers left to make clicky with, it's the Fark Weird News Quiz, 6/25 – 7/1 edition [Spiffy]

Thursday 6 July 14:02:30 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip to all ICE agents: make sure the "undocumented immigrant" you're detaining is not actually a U.S. citizen. Especially since U.S. citizens are the lawsuit-happiest people on earth [Fail]

Thursday 6 July 13:59:58 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [197 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The United States of America is not the best country in the world. I say that without emotion like I can tell you that the Brooklyn Nets are not the best team in the NBA. Saying as much doesn't mean I hate the Nets or hate Brooklyn or hate t

Thursday 6 July 13:50:07 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [212 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh nothing, just an iceberg the size of Delaware breaking off and floating out to sea [Scary]

Thursday 6 July 13:37:24 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man, this story has it all: Live sheep, animal activists and a nine foot tall inflatable Jesus [Stupid]

Thursday 6 July 13:20:06 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » North Korea exposes fatal flaw in America's armor after missile test: Its $40 billion ground-based antimissile program probably doesn't work [Scary]

Thursday 6 July 13:11:00 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [154 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this stick smack [Photoshop]

Thursday 6 July 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Hear Muffs

Thursday 6 July 12:10:00 UTC 2017

Straight out of the 70s. Hear Muffs were the invention of Stephen Hanson of Downers Grove, Illinois. They were headphones encased in a wraparound foam pillow, that came with a washable velour cover.

Hanson started selling them in 1972, but by around 1977 the product seems to have been discontinued. Perhaps because you'd only want to wear them in bed. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Post a random, useless snippet of a screenshot here and call it art [Amusing]

Thursday 6 July 10:36:45 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [150 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not how most people would perform an Upper Decker. 'But Campbell, apparently, is not most people.' Rare real-life GTA trifecta now in play [Dumbass]

Thursday 6 July 10:17:44 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Morose Muslim man morbidly murdered marking militant mastermind's malevolent machinations [Sad]

Thursday 6 July 9:47:47 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Chicago, 100 people were wounded by gunfire with 15 deaths over the long holiday weekend. In other news, Chicago could use some good firearms instructors and higher bullet prices [Murica]

Thursday 6 July 9:15:44 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [175 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In the middle of the Arizona desert there is a mystery monkey farm [Weird]

Thursday 6 July 8:45:44 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's like The Bridges of Madison County but with less Meryl Streep and more otter attacks [Weird]

Thursday 6 July 8:15:43 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, everybody in Western Montana is wide awake now. Subby's a little freaked out. How's everybody else doing? [Scary]

Thursday 6 July 7:04:29 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [143 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Eight year olds shouldn't 420 [Spiffy]

Thursday 6 July 6:57:35 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently Hobby Lobby used all that money they saved on contraception coverage for their employees to buy illegal Iraqi artifacts on the black market…you know, the ones ISIS was selling to fund their operations? Yeah, those [Sick]

Thursday 6 July 4:34:34 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [292 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mumps outbreak hits New Zealand. If only there were something, like a common vaccine, that could have prevented such an outbreak [Scary]

Thursday 6 July 4:08:29 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 635: "Take a Walk on the Wild Side". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 6 July 4:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's his Fark handle? [Hero]

Thursday 6 July 3:45:36 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "And now let's go to our reporter on the scene, Wendy Burch, to find out what's URRPPP with the Hermosa Beach Ironman" [Awkward]

Thursday 6 July 3:44:32 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That'll teach em [Sad]

Thursday 6 July 3:31:19 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back ribs ♫ [Fail]

Thursday 6 July 3:26:46 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember the beginning of 'Idiocracy?' Yeah, it's like that [Scary]

Thursday 6 July 3:18:37 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a pancake artist making heads [Strange]

Thursday 6 July 2:44:07 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida: Where even the ghosts are suicidal [Florida]

Thursday 6 July 2:20:07 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cat masters fidget spinner, wishes her owner would give her something more challenging, like a box [Silly]

Thursday 6 July 1:56:07 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Online study says Olathe, KS, is a better beach town than Miami Beach and Florida is not amused. Sorry Florida, but it's an online study. It's official [Amusing]

Thursday 6 July 1:36:49 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It isn't a good fireworks show until a field catches on fire [Scary]

Thursday 6 July 1:32:07 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » South Dakota changes rules so people can now style black hair at home legally. Gingers still require 2100 training hours, fireproof tools [Obvious]

Thursday 6 July 1:08:07 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman arrested for screaming at cops, resisting arrest, inciting a riot and blocking traffic. Let's review the video, shall we? [Obvious]

Thursday 6 July 0:44:07 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » American woman accidentally brought 100 rounds of live ammo into Tokyo airport. While waiting for connecting flight to SE Asia, she carefully placed it into the trash can. Boom – instant violation of the Swords and Firearms Control Law [Murica]

Thursday 6 July 0:20:07 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these flyer hander outers [Photoshop]

Thursday 6 July 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [11 comments] [Link]

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