John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Cranial forensic experts produce 3-D image of young Irishman who lived 500 years ago. He looks strangely familiar [Strange]

Friday 30 June 23:50:08 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is this a crime? Depends [Dumbass]

Friday 30 June 23:22:06 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida town plagued by 'triple-arse' graffiti:"This is not art. At all" [Florida]

Friday 30 June 23:20:08 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Miami police create "K.R.A.P.P.Y." system to prevent car thefts. Why yes, a Yeti is involved [Facepalm]

Friday 30 June 22:50:08 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We saw that his cleats had been blown off his feet. Almost like he was steam, or smoke, from where he was laying." Lightning strike survivors share their stories [Interesting]

Friday 30 June 22:20:08 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Detroit police looking for bald Rogaine thief. Well, wouldn't they all be bald? [Strange]

Friday 30 June 21:46:47 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Burning our National Parks to the ground may be the only way to save deer and elk population [Interesting]

Friday 30 June 21:20:07 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Shoe Corner

Friday 30 June 20:56:12 UTC 2017

This is interesting — one streetcorner in northwest Indiana abounds with discarded shoes. Somehow it’s become a tradition for people to leave unwanted footwear at 109th and Calumet Avenues in Hanover Township; the highway department removes the shoes periodically, but they keep accumulating. “I have never seen anybody throw a shoe out there,” said St. John town manager Steve Kil, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brain-eating amoeba found in two Louisiana water systems. Well, that explains a lot [Scary]

Friday 30 June 20:50:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For this Fourth of July, a tribute to America's favorite hot dog condiment: ketchup [Interesting]

Friday 30 June 20:20:07 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [166 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bacon is not Muslim Kryptonite [PSA]

Friday 30 June 20:16:44 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this cause of diabeetus [Photoshop]

Friday 30 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Multiple people shot inside Bronx-Lebanon Hospital as NYPD searches for shooter. Victims taken to… well, I guess they just stayed there [NewsFlash]

Friday 30 June 19:54:40 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [290 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Do Not Touch The Mangoes', good advice whether you're visiting a strip club or this Florida family's home [Amusing]

Friday 30 June 19:44:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man plays numbers he saw in a dream, wins big in the Iowa Lottery [Unlikely]

Friday 30 June 19:11:53 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's that time of year again, and here's the obligatory video demonstrating why you should not allow mannequins to handle fireworks at your July 4th celebrations [Obvious]

Friday 30 June 18:41:54 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Zillow announces that it would like to re-think this whole "lawsuit against a popular social media parody site" thing [Fail]

Friday 30 June 18:14:08 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Amish man is convicted in Federal court for obstruction of justice and selling homemade herbal supplements he claims cure cancer. Fark: He represents himself in court and goes Sovereign Citizen on the proceedings [Facepalm]

Friday 30 June 17:40:09 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Conn, sonar. No ships around us for miles." "Huh. Why am I smelling cheese up here, then?" *CLAAANG* [Scary]

Friday 30 June 17:13:29 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fidget spinners now bursting into flame. Still cheaper than getting a Ritalin prescription [Fail]

Friday 30 June 16:46:49 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's largest air-tanker grounded due to bureaucracy, while AZ fires burn. Why would anyone ship air, anyway? [Asinine]

Friday 30 June 16:20:09 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A homeless man was arrested after he had sexual relations with a deceased woman inside a flower planter box near an abandoned Las Vegas restaurant" [Weird]

Friday 30 June 16:14:06 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest thing that Millennials are/are not doing that's ruining the country: Not having enough babies [Strange]

Friday 30 June 15:50:06 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [274 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Check out this St. Louis sinkhole, which could be a good name for their next pro sports team [Scary]

Friday 30 June 15:20:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Yoda: Don't Try– Do!

Friday 30 June 14:58:36 UTC 2017

Woman #1, waiting for elevator: We should really take the stairs.
Woman #2: Yeah. I've been trying to take the stairs more.
(they proceed to wait another three minutes, until elevator finally comes) Toronto
Ontario
Canadia [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gay marriage approved in Germany by snap vote. Oh snap [Cool]

Friday 30 June 14:44:11 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As Americans gear up for the 4th of July weekend, Fark braces for rash of 'Dumbass', 'Fail' and 'Florida' tags [Obvious]

Friday 30 June 14:20:07 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Buy a cell phone, laptop, power tool, or tablet between 2000 – 2011? You just may have just won a settlement in a class-action price-fixing lawsuit [Spiffy]

Friday 30 June 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these hippie-mobiles [Photoshop]

Friday 30 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Monk seal gives birth on Hawaiian resort beach. So much for those vows of celibacy and poverty [Spiffy]

Friday 30 June 12:50:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Regrets

Friday 30 June 12:43:02 UTC 2017

In 1922 J.M. Barrie wrote to A.E. Housman: Dear Professor Houseman, I am sorry about last night, when I sat next to you and did not say a word. You must have thought I was a very rude man: I am really a very shy man. Sincerely yours, J.M. Barrie Housman wrote back: Dear Sir James Barrie, I am sorry … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You don't have to accept that fact that you're balding. You can always tattoo thousands of little dots on your scalp to make it look like you've got a short-cropped buzz look [Weird]

Friday 30 June 12:10:34 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » A Funky Space Reincarnation

Friday 30 June 12:00:00 UTC 2017

"You and me gonna be getting down on a space bed…getting down on the Moon!" [Link]

Weird Universe » Hippy Sippy

Friday 30 June 11:42:00 UTC 2017

Hippy Sippy consisted of tiny chocolate balls packaged in a container that looked like a hypodermic needle. The chocolate balls were sucked out through the "needle." The candy was introduced in 1968, but was pulled from shelves within a year because of popular outrage.

It reminds me of the Chilly Bang! Bang! juice-filled squirt gun.

More info: Box Vox

Camden Courier-Post … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A boyfriend's snore is one of the nicest sounds you'll ever hear. Unless it's 3 AM. And you're home alone. And you don't have a boyfriend [Dumbass]

Friday 30 June 11:05:35 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A graphic and sickening account of the pedophile orphanage that Cardinal Pell helped cover up [Followup]

Friday 30 June 10:59:34 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [161 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stop bringing your sh*tty cheap booze to parties. Just stop it, it makes you look cheap [Obvious]

Friday 30 June 9:55:35 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » He's just a Prince whose intentions are good. Oh Lord, please don't let him be misunderstood [Silly]

Friday 30 June 8:34:35 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nigerian police capture wanted kidnapper. Suspect responds by suing police, but needs your help in releasing funds reserved for legal defense left by wealthy member of royal family. Will gladly share 30% of funds if you send name, address, phone etc

Friday 30 June 7:01:13 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Venus Williams might rank below 700th place when compared to male tennis players, but when compared to female drivers she's apparently pretty much right in the middle of the pack [Dumbass]

Friday 30 June 6:24:42 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chicago Water Department denied black employees promotions and allowed white employees to call them racial slurs [Murica]

Friday 30 June 4:05:46 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NASA denies it's running a child slave colony on Mars [Unlikely]

Friday 30 June 4:03:43 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For future reference: if someone's a two-strike homeless felon with a history of mental illness and robbing people at knife-point, you might want to mention that at their bail hearing, prosecutor [Fail]

Friday 30 June 3:40:53 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After a police appeal, a cocktail bar in Dawson City, Yukon, has been reunited with a stolen, severed, pickled toe that it uses to garnish its Sourtoe cocktail [Followup]

Friday 30 June 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's 'spot the mayfly swarm on weather radar' season in the south [Creepy]

Friday 30 June 2:21:33 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman turns in her mother, father, aunt, and uncle when she finds out she's a daughter and niece to all of them (not safe for work images in sidebar) [Awkward]

Friday 30 June 2:01:00 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Warning: bears in mirror may be closer than they appear [Scary]

Friday 30 June 1:30:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What kind of cargo worries you in a truck rollover accident? [Scary]

Friday 30 June 1:19:59 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunk driver speeds through stop sign, injuring his son and two other people. You can probably guess why he's not going to jail and not even getting a DUI [Obvious]

Friday 30 June 1:12:42 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What could possibly top a two-state, hour-long car chase you say? How about a police brutality grand finale with Yakity Sax music dubbed over the video? [Giggity]

Friday 30 June 1:11:39 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Denver has a problem staffing jobs in the restaurant industry. Why? The higher-paying jobs are in weed, man. BUT WHAT ABOUT MY MUNCHIES?? [Scary]

Friday 30 June 1:11:01 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » People with high IQs less likely to die young, vote Republican [Interesting]

Friday 30 June 1:07:50 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California will no longer suspend your license for unpaid traffic fines mostly because what happens is people can't go to work and earn money to pay the fines. Logic and common sense, why do red states lack such? [Cool]

Friday 30 June 0:54:55 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Powerball and Mega Millions odds just got a bit better as those living in Illinois forced to spend extra money for gas to get their tickets [Followup]

Friday 30 June 0:53:44 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Higher Magic

Friday 30 June 0:35:32 UTC 2017

The digits 1-9 can be arranged into a 3 × 3 magic square in essentially one way (not counting rotations or reflections) — the so-called lo shu square: 4 3 8 9 5 1 2 7 6 As in any magic square, each row, column, and diagonal produces the same total. But surprisingly (to me), the sum of the row … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you've got more than six pounds of marijuana and seven gallons of moonshine stashed in your house you can't help but smile [Obvious]

Friday 30 June 0:10:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this tower [Photoshop]

Friday 30 June 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

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