Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Deviant sex act with a vegetable gets Texas man a life sentence [Sick]

Thursday 29 June 23:54:57 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Unquote

Thursday 29 June 23:48:20 UTC 2017

There is one very valid test by which we may separate genuine, if perverse and unbalanced, originality and revolt from mere impudent innovation and bluff. The man who really thinks he has an idea will always try to explain that idea. The charlatan who has no idea will always confine himself to explaining that it is much too subtle to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump blabbing about illegal immigrants during Unleashing American Energy conference [Live]

Thursday 29 June 23:39:51 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The opioid epidemic takes another turn as more recent fentanyl found in Georgia might be resistant to antidote [Scary]

Thursday 29 June 22:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » America's drug epidemic has now started affecting previously untouched groups, such as vampires, apparently [Sick]

Thursday 29 June 22:20:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Car horns should be replaced with quacks instead of beeps says someone with too much ducking time on his hands [Silly]

Thursday 29 June 21:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "Flagler County deputies are asking for help to identify a cross-dressing man they say has been wearing women's underwear and placing pantyhose on vehicles in a business parking lot" [Florida]

Thursday 29 June 21:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Time to break out your tasty salads. Do you like something light or do your salads tend to be hearty meals in their own right? [Interesting]

Thursday 29 June 21:00:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Florida man sexually assaulting your housekeeper? Love will save the day, with a baseball bat [Florida]

Thursday 29 June 20:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » A small bottle of Canadian whisky that was hidden on an Australian warship for 35 years has finally been discovered [Interesting]

Thursday 29 June 20:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this wine bottle and bird house [Photoshop]

Thursday 29 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » New island forms off the coast of North Carolina, is immediately claimed by China [Interesting]

Thursday 29 June 19:50:07 UTC 2017

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The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Is your cat plotting to kill you?

Thursday 29 June 19:35:14 UTC 2017

Is your cat plotting to kill you? This app will scan your cat and tell you the likelihood that they are plotting to murder you.View [Link]

Fark.com RSS » German police taken off duty after pictures of sex and booze-fueled party emerge. Huh, maybe we need to update that 'in heaven the police are English' joke [Hero]

Thursday 29 June 19:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Taco Bell's new Spicy Gunshot Chalupa not a hit with customers [Florida]

Thursday 29 June 18:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Planned Parenthood would like to wish you a happy Vasectomy Day. Hold the carving knife this way, not that way [Interesting]

Thursday 29 June 18:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » What is this bear saying? [Caption]

Thursday 29 June 18:00:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Iraq declares that ISIS has fallen and can't get back up [Unlikely]

Thursday 29 June 17:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » This chart shows the way you'll most likely die. Huh, I don't see . . . oh, crap, alcohol IS on there [Interesting]

Thursday 29 June 17:44:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » A man spent five years and thousands of pounds renovating a yacht in his garden only to see it sink within five minutes of its launch [Fail]

Thursday 29 June 17:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "I don't know what it is. Some people say it's an albino raccoon, some says it's an albino fox. I don't know what it is. It's just an animal that I want to get rid of, and no one wants to come and get it" [Creepy]

Thursday 29 June 17:11:58 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You know what looks like food to a plethora of great white sharks? Swimmers on the 4th of July [Scary]

Thursday 29 June 16:50:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Female LDS church employees may now wear pants and parents now get one week of parental leave. I dunno, might lead to dancing [Strange]

Thursday 29 June 16:40:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » There's a brain-destroying parasite epidemic in Florida, which would explain a lot [Florida]

Thursday 29 June 16:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Woman, who lost her license due to a DUI, sinks her car in a pond, steals a hotel shuttle and wrecks that too, all while sober. How the hell did she drive when she was drunk? [Dumbass]

Thursday 29 June 16:08:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Tacoma repeals stun gun ban. Ban on medieval flails still in place [Strange]

Thursday 29 June 15:40:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Just another day on the NYC subway – an unexpected delay, a lack of seats, a snake wrapping itself around a pole [Strange]

Thursday 29 June 15:16:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » When you're at an ISIS party and the honoree says "hold my beer and watch this", just turn and run like hell [Dumbass]

Thursday 29 June 14:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » New apartment building was going to have fire alarms and sprinklers inspected Thursday. So guess what happened Wednesday [Sad]

Thursday 29 June 14:41:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Worker who considered employer's biometric hand scanner to be the "Mark Of the Beast" prevails in federal court [Stupid]

Thursday 29 June 14:11:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Yellowstone bison have the right-of-way, they don't care about your vacation photos [Obvious]

Thursday 29 June 13:45:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Trader Joe's now makes canned wine [Murica]

Thursday 29 June 13:15:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: Accused thief hits 18 unlocked vehicles in Lititz, makes off with (among other things) Tic Tacs, dog treats and wet wipes [Facepalm]

Thursday 29 June 13:02:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what these betting Brits are wagering on [Photoshop]

Thursday 29 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Your dog wants a treadmill [Interesting]

Thursday 29 June 12:30:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You can have a blast in a college dorm, but it should involve alcohol not natural gas [Scary]

Thursday 29 June 12:16:48 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » By the year 2026, America will have reached peak empire [Interesting]

Thursday 29 June 12:06:49 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Warhol Schrafft’s Commercial

Thursday 29 June 12:00:00 UTC 2017

In November 1968, the Manhattan restaurant chain Schrafft’s hired Andy Warhol to create a television commercial, hoping to make itself look more hip and relevant. Warhol created a one minute long commercial, promoting Schrafft’s new “Underground Sundae,” which Schrafft’s described as, "Yummy Schrafft's vanilla ice cream in two groovy heaps, with three ounces of mind-blowing chocolate sauce undulating within a … [Link]

Weird Universe » Vision-Dieter Glasses

Thursday 29 June 11:42:00 UTC 2017

The Vision-Dieter glasses were weight-loss eyeglasses, created by Arkansas entrepreneur John D. Miller who sold them for $19.95 each. They had a different lens for each eye: one brown and the other blue. Miller claimed that the different colors caused a low-level of confusion in a person's subconscious that led to a loss of appetite, and thus weight loss. In … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maine will rebuild after getting struck by four earthquakes in a week [Scary]

Thursday 29 June 11:37:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Working from home is great. Until the day you realize you haven't had outside human contact in five weeks [Scary]

Thursday 29 June 10:46:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » What better place to get creepy advice about sex than your own parents [Amusing]

Thursday 29 June 9:48:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Strangers buy a car, one years' insurance, $500 gas card, and two years of oil changes for man who walks 3 miles to his job in Texas heat [Cool]

Thursday 29 June 9:05:33 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Miner's Loop, one of San Diego's popular trails, is temporarily closed due to higher than normal arsenic levels [Obvious] The trail got its name from an old arsenic mine [Obvious]

Thursday 29 June 8:58:59 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Timmy's to serve up a poutine doughnut for Canada's 150th birthday. That's it, I'm turning the car around [Cool]

Thursday 29 June 8:06:35 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you stole a street sweeper and took it for a joy ride in Paterson, NJ, I would like to buy you a beer [Amusing]

Thursday 29 June 5:46:52 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Thunderstorm commits war crime against Florida [Florida]

Thursday 29 June 5:37:19 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » So it takes Walmart employees three days to check the bathroom? [Sick]

Thursday 29 June 4:49:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » After five years, police still haven't been able to connect legs near Butte to anyone. Who's the police chief there, Dr. Frankenstein? [Scary]

Thursday 29 June 4:34:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you jump off your balcony wearing a parachute you bought off the internet, there is no doubt you will be what you deserve [Obvious]

Thursday 29 June 4:22:55 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Eugene H Krabs opens a new location at the airport baggage claim [Weird]

Thursday 29 June 4:05:02 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 634: "Airborne 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 29 June 4:01:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The most Australian video you'll see today [Scary]

Thursday 29 June 3:27:56 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Murder suspects disappear from crime scene but their Snapchat conversation does not [Florida]

Thursday 29 June 2:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Suspicious 'meat man' reported in South Point, Ohio. In other news, Tesco Vee is reported to have escaped from Washington, DC [Video]

Thursday 29 June 2:10:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Samsung to sell refurbished Note 7s with a new name, the "Fandom Edition." Subby would have gone with the "Phoenix" [Facepalm]

Thursday 29 June 1:42:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Meeting prostitutes from backpage.com at the local motel is no way to go through life, Mr. Ethics Board Commissioner [Dumbass]

Thursday 29 June 1:30:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If someone gives you your own counterfeit bills as a refund, perhaps it's better to keep quiet about it [Asinine]

Thursday 29 June 1:16:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » All's fair in love and war and the bouncy castle business [Strange]

Thursday 29 June 0:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Author of new book wants us to stop sensationalizing the Donna Reed Party, because vacuuming in high heels and pearls was hard enough without all the cannibalism jokes [Interesting]

Thursday 29 June 0:36:12 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Philippines to make enthusiastic singing of national anthem mandatory; just humming along will not be fine. Well, it will be A fine, anyway [Strange]

John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons